A/N: There's a couple things I forgot to mention before.

One, I got the entire idea for this series because I couldn't believe Lisbon would be so callous as to say Pike would "understand" that she'd broken up with him to be with Jane.

Two, the whole thing will be in canon.

"Well, you look pretty," said Pike appreciatively in what was the understatement of his life, as Lisbon slid into her seat. "What did Jane say when he saw you?"

"Oh, he said I looked beautiful. Then he told me to have a good time. And nothing else."

Pike noticed that Lisbon seemed slightly upset.

"Is that good or bad? I don't know him as well as you do.

"Actually," he amended, "I don't think anyone does."

"I'm not sure," she admitted. "He knows I don't go to restaurants like this, yet he didn't tease me about it."

Pike felt bad. The restaurant had been his choice. He hadn't thought to consult her. He didn't want her to feel out of her element; he wanted her to be having the time of her life. He sure was.

"Oh, we can go someplace else."

"No, no. Not at all." She waved his concerns away. "Change is good. Plus, it means I get to wear this dress, and Jane gets to wonder why I never did before. Wear a dress, I mean."

"Oh, so you're rarely seen in dresses, are you. That's a shame." Pike feigned disapproval. Lisbon blushed.

"Makes it hard to take down a suspect," she said by way of explanation.

"I imagine," said Pike shrewdly, "it's also because holding a position of authority in a male-dominated workforce would have made you cautious on that score."

He could tell that he was right, but also that Lisbon was uncomfortable with the topic. He tried to lighten the mood.

"It's sad, you know," he said thoughtfully. "In our enlightened age, you'd think men would no longer be sexist pigs."

Lisbon laughed. "I think it's in their blood," she said with a twinkle in her eye.

"No, no," said Pike. "You're supposed to say, 'Present company excluded.'" He winked.

"You know, you're right." There was a faraway look in her eye. "I really don't get it. They expect us to look good always... but not too good. Then it's 'distracting' and 'unprofessional'." She looked at Pike. "I remember one time..."

As she warmed to her story, Pike settled into the attitude of sympathetic listener.

They had finished their main course and she was halfway through a phillippic on a man from her CBI days, who wouldn't believe she was the leader of the team and had actually refused to talk to anyone but Cho, when she realized what she was doing. What was she doing? She never opened up about her difficulties. She had always hated showing her weaknesses. Yet, not only that, but she had just told Pike that sometimes these men made her feel inadequate, that she was banging her head on a brick wall, that she should give up.

She had never opened up to anyone like this. Even Jane had simply divined it, then, the one time he had brought it up, she had shut him down. How ironic, she thought with a smirk, that this should happen on a fake date. She wished she could tell Jane. She knew he'd appreciate the joke.

Why, she wondered idly, did she not feel like her privacy was violated? Wasn't that usual run of things in these situations? Maybe because this was a friendship, one they both knew would never develop romantically. Or, she thought as she noticed her empty wineglass (how long had she been talking?), maybe because she was drunk.

On the other side of the table, Pike was looking at her carefully. She didn't seem to have anything further to say; he decided to change the subject.

"Well, I'm dying of curiosity," he announced. "How was Jane on the case? Did he mention us at all?"

"He didn't seem fazed with I arrived in the taxi," conceded Lisbon, "but when he figured out I'd had a really good time the night before, he was rather surprised."

They shared a knowing look that lasted all of two seconds before before they burst out laughing.

"I don't think he guessed why."

"No," agreed Lisbon. "I don't believe he did. Oh, and he was definitely sulking when I took your call." Her eyes lit up delightedly.

"Was that because of the call?"

"Yep! It's definitely our most effective tactic so far." She smiled cheerfully at Pike. This was turning out to be the perfect diversion while Jane got his act together. She couldn't believe how much she was enjoying Pike's company.

"Well, just keep telling me when to call." Pike grinned. "It's very entertaining on my end. I never can guess what you'll say next."

Lisbon grinned back. A companionable silence stretched out between them. Lisbon fiddled unconsciously with her napkin.

"What's up?"

Lisbon looked up with a slight start. "Oh. I was just thinking about earlier. Jane didn't say goodbye when I left. Now I'm trying to figure out if that's good or bad."

She gave a small laugh, the spark in her eye showing that she was fully alive to the humour of the situation. "I feel like I'm back in high school, dissecting my dates with my best friends."

Pike ignored this, choosing to focus on an earlier point. "Wait a minute, I thought he told you to have a great time. That doesn't count as goodbye?"

"Well, I was waiting for him to say more and he didn't, so after a few seconds I said goodbye. In a normal conversation, he would have said goodbye back, but he didn't; he just sat there, watching me walk away." She giggled. "Is that a country song? It should be."

Pike refused to get distracted by such suppositions. "From what you've told me, I think our best play would be to keep doing what we've been doing, but step it up a notch." He leaned forward. "I'll call tomorrow and set up another date?"

Lisbon nodded. "Just wait for my text. Jane's never at work on time."

They talked of sundry small matters until Lisbon noticed that Pike seemed almost distracted.

"You're dying to say something," she accused him with a smile. "Out with it!"

Pike looked slightly embarassed. "I was wondering if you'd want to spend the night with me."

The smile dropped off Lisbon's face.

"Now believe me," he added hastily, "I don't mean this is anything serious." His tone softened. "I just thought you could use some fun right now."

Lisbon was running through possible scenarios in her head. It was more appealing than she wanted to admit. Pike was right. She did want to have some fun, no strings attached.

"Besides," said Pike, "wouldn't Jane know right away? It might be enough to get him going."

That clinched it.

Much later, with Lisbon asleep at his side, Pike stared up at the ceiling. He didn't want Lisbon to waste her life pining after Jane. Lisbon seemed to find his conduct hopeful; Pike had no idea why. Either the man was a masochist or he had no romantic interest in Lisbon. He decided to wait and see how Jane would react to their having slept together. If nothing changed, he would do his very best to rescue Lisbon from what was obviously becoming an unhealthy relationship.

What would you call this, he wondered. A triple con? He had to make Jane believe that he, Pike, was in love with Lisbon; convince Lisbon that he wasn't while letting her know it was a possibility; and somehow get her to figure out that Jane wasn't interested in her without appearing to interfere.

I'm going to need a list to keep track, was his last thought before falling asleep.

A/N: Like I said before, I'll be keeping this in canon. Unfortunately, I don't know how I'll do the next chapter because I have no way to rewatch 6x18. Maybe someone could upload the Lisbon/Pike interactions from that episode to YouTube? You would have my undying gratitutde...