Chapter 2: FirewWhisky and Rum

AN: And the wonderful teenagery tropes continue - this one: being upset and drowning oneself in alcohol! Argh why is everybody being so mean to Aang? I'll make them see the errors of their ways, little cinnamon roll needs some love and understanding!

The next day Aang kept trying to get out of his fire bending and earth bending lessons to talk to Katara. His Sifus were having none of it. Toph clearly understood that the message hadn't got through to her friend and was working him hard. Zuko also realised that instead of being sad or angry, Aang looked hopeful. And with that he probably wanted to try rekindle something. And Zuko decided that was definitely not happening! He was probably being too hard on Aang. But he didn't want Aang to go anywhere near Katara today.

Sokka and Suki came back from town excited that there was a new play happening about them and they all decided to go, momentarily distracted from what they all knew was happening behind the scenes. From the way Suki was acting cold towards Sokka, Zuko assumed she had been informed of last night's sneaking around.

Zuko made a mental note of who knew what: Toph, Suki, Sokka and Aang knew that Sokka and Aang had overheard the girls' conversation. Sokka knew Suki Knew. Toph knew both Sokka and Suki knew. Aang didn't know anybody but Sokka knew. Zuko knew everything but nobody knew about Zuko. Katara knew nothing but was on edge at the uneasy atmosphere, sensing something was odd.

When they sat down in the theatre Zuko decidedly sat between Aang and Katara as a buffer. Katara smiled at him as he sat. Aang did not, but since he didn't know that Zuko knew anything was happening, he couldn't say anything.

After the intermission Katara and Aang retook their places but Katara's face was ashen and Aang was only there in body. Zuko wondered what he had missed. Even Toph's pure delight at the play couldn't cut the tension between Aang and Katara. Zuko felt suffocated being in the middle of it.

Then there was a scene under Ba Sing Se. The actors played it like they were lovers. Zuko needed to remind himself to relax his jaw occasionally. Aang didn't even seem to notice.

As if that wasn't bad enough, the ending of the play where everybody died put a huge downer on all of them - apart from Toph, who seemed to be completely alright with it. Zuko thought it was forced.

As they started to walk back, Zuko stopped them in the middle square, telling them he'd be right back. He ran into the first bar he saw and ordered a few bottles; some brandy, some firewhisky, some sort of vodka mix, and some rum. He walked out holding three bottles by the neck and already drinking out of the fire whisky. He didn't want to face his own death. He didn't want to face any of the things in that damned play. And he just wanted to drink himself to oblivion. He thought that maybe it wouldn't be such an unpopular idea.

As he approached the group, Sokka eyed the bottles and took the vodka off of him. Suki chose the brandy and to his surprise, Katara took the rum. She took a swig and made the most adorable face as she swallowed, but then closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

"What? What's going on?" asked Toph, confused at the silent exchanges.

"Zuko got us some alcohol, Toph," explained Suki kindly.

"Sweet! Is there any nectar beer?" she asked.

"Aren't you a little young to be drinking Toph?" asked Katara, looking at her friend.

"Yeah like I never had a beer at the Earth Rumbles! They thought they could get a little girl drunk and beat me in the ring - never worked. But I don't like all that spirit stuff! Bleh!" Katara smiled. "Well? Go on then! Where's my nectar beer?"

"I'm not sure I feel completely comfortable giving you alcohol Toph," said Katara.

"You shouldn't be having any either," interrupted Sokka, looking at his baby sister. She wasn't so much of a baby anymore. She looked old and tired and not a little put out.

"Leave her be Snoozles, she's old enough to do everything else, she's old enough to drink. Anyway I've just listened to myself and all my friends die a pretty brutal death and if you guys can all drink away your sorrows, I want in," she insisted. Zuko sighed and handed his bottle to Katara while he dove back into the bar, emerging a few minutes later with a small bottle of beer. Toph looked content and sipped it gingerly.

"You want some Twinkletoes?" she asked, extending the bottle. Aang wrinkled his nose.

"The monks taught us not to drink as it would interfere with our clarity!" he said. It was clear he had been trying to not interfere but now it all came out. "You guys shouldn't be drinking either!" he chided.

Sokka sighed.

"Just for once Aang, let us be teenagers without the air nomad wisdom lectures," he said, looking tired himself. Aang looked at Katara, since this is where she would usually pipe up in Aang's defence. She returned his gaze and took another swig from the bottle, this time showing nothing on her face. Zuko couldn't help wonder what exactly had gone on in the intermission. On the one hand he was happy she wasn't mothering Aang, but on the other this was harsh on the kid. He'd also seen himself get defeated. If anything he had to feel like it was all on his shoulders. He must have said something to make Katara really mad to make her act like this.

Zuko was going to ask. But then he took another drink and decided he didn't want to deal with it tonight.

Toph had put her arms around Aang's shoulders though.

"Come on Twinkletoes, we little ones gotta stick together while the oldies over there drink the hard stuff. Sometimes thats just what oldies do," she was saying as she lead the way out of the village and across the beach.

Sokka and Suki were walking leaning close to one another talking quietly, occasionally kissing.

Zuko and Katara brought up the rear, each drinking from their bottles.

"You want to be careful with that, its strong," he found himself saying, indicating the rum.

"I know," she replied. Zuko took a closer look and realised she had hardly drunk any of it, which he was thankful for. She must have only been taking small sips. He didn't want to have any casualties on his hands.

"You want to talk about what happened between you and Aang?" he ventured, alcohol mixing with curiosity and not a little concern.

"I told him no and he kissed me," she replied in a deadpan voice.

"No to what?"

"I'm not quite sure. Whether I loved him, wanted to be his girlfriend, get married, have babies… not quite sure he separated them out in his mind," she said before taking a bigger swig of the bottle.

"He shouldn't have kissed you if you said no," he offering lamely, unsure of what else to say.

"I KNOW," she exploded.

Finally, thought Zuko. There was the anger he was looking for! Better she explode now out of the hearing of the others than let it build all night. Besides, he could take an angry Katara. He didn't like it, but this time it wasn't directed at him.

"I TOLD him I didn't feel like that and then he goes on about how I'm his forever girl or some shit like that and that I'd come around to that idea - and when I told him that I really didn't think so, he goes and kisses me!" Katara was seething. Zuko noticed how the sea to their side swelled threateningly. It looked like she wanted to hurl the bottle away in anger but she drank instead.

The house appeared in the distance. Toph and Aang must have already been inside since there was light coming out of the windows. Katara stopped. She drank some more, plonked herself down on the sand, and promptly started crying. Zuko was unsure of what to do so he gently took the bottle away from her. Up ahead Sokka and Suki were rushing back to them.

"Aang confronted Katara," Zuko said to them quietly, handing Sokka her bottle of rum - what was left of it. Zuko looked at them with pleading eyes and Sokka nervously approached Katara. Suki put a hand on his shoulder to stop him.

"I don't think she would want to talk to you Sokka. I think we should go talk to Aang. Zuko, just let her know we're all here for her alright? She talks to you more sincerely than she talks to us," said Suki gently. Sokka didn't look convinced but sighed.

"Look after her Zuko. Don't leave her on her own," he said, giving Zuko a small punch on his arm as Suki lead him away. He didn't know whether to be happy they had decided he was to take care of Katara or scared - whether they actually believed she would open up to him or they thought she might start bending. He took another drink of firewhisky.

Gingerly, Zuko approached Katara and sat down next to her, realising she had stopped sobbing.

"It's my fault you know," she said quietly. "I'm the reason he can't reach the Avatar state. He can't let go of earthly attachments… he can't let go of me… so his chakra is blocked."

Zuko took a deep breath. He didn't realise how deeply Aang felt for her. Or at least, how deeply he thought he felt for her. There was no doubt in Zuko's mind that the kind of adoration Aang was feeling wasn't the same as the kind of romantic love Aang thought he was feeling. Aang had never had a mother, being brought up by the monks, and then after waking up the only comfort in his life was Katara. He needed her. He loved her. But he wasn't in love with her.

"You know, that really isn't your fault," Zuko said gently. Katara shook her head.

"Maybe I shouldn't have been so kind to him all the time, defended him all the time. I don't know. I never gave him any reason to think I was in love with him… but I'm the reason we might all die when the comet arrives," she said sadly.

"Aang will figure it out," he said, uncertain of what else to offer. "You're like a mother to him. He will figure out that he needs to grow up now." And he better do it quickly, he thought to himself.

There was a silence as she shuffled her feet into the sand.

"I got really angry at him," she admitted. "I just couldn't face the image of it. If we defeat the Fire Lord I mean. Following him around for ever and ever, watching him rebuild the temples. What would I be? A vehicle to give birth to a new generation of Air Nomads. I want to do something more with my life."

Zuko gulped. He could see it all happening too. He didn't like it either, but squashed the flame of anger that lit up inside him - Aang was a very young, very lost boy. He didn't understand what Katara felt.

"What do you want?" asked Zuko softly.

"I don't know. I want to make a difference to my Tribe. I want to make a home. I want to be respected. I don't want people to look through me anymore because of who I'm with or the fact I'm a girl." She pushed the heels of her hands into her eyes.

"Nobody should be allowed to eclipse you," he said into the night. "But you've never allowed yourself to be eclipsed Katara, not really."

Katara turned to him then, fixing him as much as she could in her wobbly state. She turned out to sea once more, leaving them both cloaked in silence for a few minutes.

"Do you think I'm pretty Zuko? Would I stand a chance with somebody who isn't Aang?" she asked, turning back to him.

Despite himself Zuko laughed incredulously.

"I don't think that will be a problem Katara," he said. "When you decide what you want to do, you will turn around and find as many men as you like for you to choose from."

"Is that a yes?"

"Katara, you're beautiful," he said quietly, reaching out and brushing a strand of hair from her face. He could see her blush even in the darkness. He should have been blushing to the tips of his ears but perhaps he'd had too much to drink. He really didn't care. She was processing this new information.

"So if I'm pretty, do you think that's why Aang just tried to kiss me?" she asked finally.

"I… I don't know. Maybe. I think Aang likes your kindness and the way you look after him more." Zuko actually had no idea, but that fit in with what he thought was going on. He took another drink.

"Have you ever wanted to kiss me Zuko?" Zuko froze. She was looking at him so sincerely, but she wasn't even sitting up properly anymore. Oh! She was actually falling backwards! He reached out and caught her.

"Katara you're quite drunk, you can't even sit up straight!" he said instead.

"Well then help me to," she mumbled, crawling between his legs and sitting so that his arm around her shoulders and his leg were her back support. He legs were bent over his other leg which was straight. She nuzzled into his chest. Zuko was glad she was on his right side so she couldn't hear his heart beat pick up.

"So?" She asked.

"So what?"

"Have you ever wanted to kiss me?"

"I always want to kiss you Katara." The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them. He didn't really miss them much. They might help her build her confidence up right now and he very much doubted she would remember it in the morning anyway.

Her face crumpled in confusion.

"Like when?"

Zuko sighed and ran his left hand through his hair. He took another drink, realising that most of the bottle was gone.

"Like when I tied you to the tree and you were so brave and stubborn but you wouldn't understand what I was trying to tell you - I wanted to get you to understand me," he said as she giggled.

"When you tried to heal Uncle and I pushed you away all I wanted to do was kiss you and beg you to help me.

And then at the North Pole when you beat me because you had become so strong and I was so shocked.

And again when I beat you. I made sure you were alive but I wanted to kiss you better - somebody so strong shouldn't be reduced like that.

Again under Ba Sing Se when you touched my scar because you were so kind and gentle and warm - and it scared me how much I wanted to kiss you then.

And at the Air Temple when you wouldn't talk to me because I had betrayed you I wanted to kiss it better, to go back to that moment of peace we had.

And then when the temple came crashing down and I thought you were going to die but I got to you in time and I was so happy you weren't hurt I wanted to kiss you with relief.

And when you caught me as I fell to bring me back to Appa I wanted to kiss you thank you.

When you confronted Yon Rah and you were so determined I thought you might crack… and after you spared him I wanted to kiss you to tell you that you'd done the right thing if it felt right to you.

And when you forgave me I wanted to kiss you in joy.

And last night in the kitchen when you held my hands… I wanted to kiss you then too…" They were silent for a while. Zuko traced circles into her shoulder where his hand was and took in the scent of her hair. She had never been this close before. He didn't want her to be any further away again.

"What about right now? Do you want to kiss me right now?" She said quietly, playing with the front of his shirt.

"I always want to kiss you Katara," he murmured into her hair.

"But you're not going to?"

"You're drunk. I wouldn't kiss you unless I knew you wanted me to."

Katara pushed away from his chest and locked him in her gaze. "What if I wanted you to kiss me right now?"

"You're drunk Katara," is all he said, but it didn't do nearly enough to express the squeezing in his chest, his need to cry out because it was really too cruel that they had been drinking instead of sober. How much he wanted to hear those words any other time but now… not now… when he could file them away in memory but know he would never hear them in earnest.

"What if I kiss you though? That would be ok?" she asked. Zuko's breathing caught in his throat. He just nodded. He didn't know whether he wanted her do to it or not. He didn't get the chance to decide.

Her lips pressed against his. They were soft, he registered, and plump. It was only a light kiss but she pressed into him a little before leaning away. But those lips were intoxicating and Zuko decided that they were both drunk and she wanted to kiss so … so maybe… he could just have one more…

He followed her when she pulled back and pressed his lips back against hers, pressing a little harder. But she was ready for him and she threw her arms around his neck, deepening the kiss, parting her lips against his. His tongue shot out, into her mouth, playing with hers as she twisted her body towards him. Somehow he was on his back in the sand and she was pressed on top of him, hands tangled in his loose hair. He let his hands wonder over her back, pressing her closer. Somehow her legs parted so she was straddling him. Suddenly her lips left his but she was kissing his jaw and his good ear and just under his good eye… and then across to the bad side of his face - fluttery kisses that caressed a place nobody had touched in a long time. Eventually she came back to his lips.

With just the mere thought of it he had flipped them without breaking the kisses they were giving one another so that he was on top of her, so that he could kiss her jaw and just under her ear and down her neck and along her collarbone. Every kiss was better than he had imagined. And he had imagined.

But when he made his trail back to her lips he consciously started to slow things down. He could feel himself getting very excited and somewhere in the back of his mind there was a little voice saying 'this isn't real'.

When he rolled off her onto his back his world was spinning. She followed him so that she was on her side with her head on his chest. They lay comfortably for a while until he heard her take in a sharp breath.

"Zuko, everything is dizzy but the moon… its in the middle isn't it?" Zuko focussed on it.

"Yes it is."

"Have we been out here half the night?" she asked.

"Seems so…" he replied, not quite sure how the too short kiss had turned into half the night at all… "maybe it was the alcohol…" he said. But he could practically see the cogs in Katara's mind working and he hoped that they would come out in his favour. He sighed; she wouldn't remember anyway.

They picked themselves up and although Zuko had had quite a lot more than her, she could hardly stand. After a few minutes of fumbled half-walking where he tried to hold her up she suddenly lurched to the side a few steps and sunk into the sand on her hands and knees, throwing up.

Zuko wasn't too sure what to do but he thought it would be pretty bad if her hair got sick on it so he gathered it up and held it while she wretched.

"I'm so… sorry…" she was saying, just before throwing up some more.

"Its alright, just get it all up," he murmured, stroking her back. He decided to believe she was just apologising for throwing up and not the kiss.

Katara managed to wash her face in the sea before struggling back to her feet, but her balance was still off. Eventually Zuko huffed and picked her up completely. He now felt pretty sober since he had to act it to get them both home. No sooner had he picked her up that she fell asleep against his chest, one hand holding his shirt as it had done earlier that evening. Zuko tucked her up in bed, made sure there was some water next to her and reluctantly headed back to his own room. He wanted nothing more than to cuddle her - and that was a strange thought indeed!