❄ First Skate ❄

One Year Later

Kageyama stood outside the airport, staring out at the moonlit countryside of Natori; his home. This was his first time back since his injury during the Grand Prix Final the year before. He'd been too ashamed to face his family and his country after his immense failure, and so he'd stayed in Europe for a while with one of his skater friends who lived there, Asahi.

But it was finally time to head home. One whole year later, and he would see his family again. His hands grew shaky around the handles of his bags just thinking about it. What would they say? They probably thought he was a coward; a failure. They wouldn't want anything to do with him. Maybe they could've accepted him back home if he'd come straight back when he was released from the hospital, but instead, he'd stayed away for a year without so much as calling or writing to check up on them. They probably resented him for it. And he honestly couldn't blame them.

What he'd done had been cowardly, but with all of the pressure, he just couldn't bear the thought of how they would take his injury and his announcement that he was retiring from skating. Both of his parents had been skaters in their youth, and were still well-known even in retirement, having broken world records and surmised a pile of gold medals between the both of them in pair skating. Kageyama was sure they wouldn't take the new well, but of course, they'd found out the day Daichi announced it to the news, and had had a year to digest it, so maybe...

"Tobio!"

Kageyama jumped, raising his head to find Daichi standing by his familiar black car in the parking lot, waving at him. When he'd learned of Kageyama's return home, he'd insisted on picking him up, which Kageyama was grateful for considering he still wasn't quite ready to face his parents. He thought the man would've been holding a grudge over the past year for Kageyama suddenly deciding to retire and dropping him as a coach, but he looked as friendly as ever, wearing one of his usual smiles, not a care in the world.

If he was honest, Kageyama was a bit suspicious. But Daichi wasn't really crafty enough to hide anything from anyone, let alone him, so he shook it off and tried to scrape his expression up into a smile to appease his ex-coach and raised a hand to wave at him as he approached. "Hey, Daichi! Nice to see you." He grimaced; the words definitely sounded forced. He'd have to get better at deception if he ever hoped to act normally around his family.

The truth was, the loss of skating had been a really rough thing for him. During the two months of bed-rest and rehabilitation, he'd mostly forgotten about his decision to retire, but after that, when he was jogging in the park to build back up the strength in his ankle, or stopping to get breakfast at a cafe with the thoughts of his waiting family lingering in the back of his mind... he missed it.

He didn't want to second-guess himself, but not skating was like not being able to speak: it felt like an essential part of him had been stripped away, leaving him helpless and drowning in a sea of doubt. But, of course, he had to hide all that from Daichi. If the man saw any hesitation over his decision whatsoever, he would try to convince him to come back again, and Kageyama really wasn't ready for that.

Fortunately, he didn't seem to notice, taking one of Kageyama's bags from him and heading around to the trunk of the car, which he popped. Kageyama stood beside him as they arranged the bags to fit in the small space, and the air between them felt taut despite the friendly atmosphere. Kageyama could tell Daichi wanted to say something and prayed he wouldn't. He was too tired to get into an argument right now.

"If you're worried about me scolding you," Daichi said, closing the trunk and heading around to the driver's side, "I won't. I already said my piece at the hospital that day. If you really don't want to return to skating, I'm not going to make you. It's entirely your decision." As they slid into their seats and Daichi started the car, he shot Kageyama a smile. "But, just to warn you now, your sister is a bit mad..."

Kageyama winced. "Oh... I figured she would be..." His sister was a figure skating legend. She'd taken gold in the Olympics twice, as well as winning numerous other skating events and earning a large name for herself. She had retired at 26 after falling in love with another skater and having a child. She had always seen figure skating as not a simple career, but a lifestyle choice; a livelihood. Kageyama had shared this outlook until the Grand Prix Final tragedy of the previous year, but now that he had changed his mind, his sister would no doubt be furious about it.

"Oh well." Daichi shrugged as if it didn't matter at all if his family decided to shun him forever or accept him again. "I talked to her while you were gone. I think I loosened some of the tension. You just need to talk to her one-on-one. I'm sure she'll understand then."

"Yeah," Kageyama sighed and slumped in his seat miserably. "Be sure to give a nice speech at my funeral after she kills me."

"Here we are!" Daichi pulled up in front of Kageyama's family's home and put the car in park, pulling the keys out of the ignition and smiling over at him. Squinting out the windshield, Kageyama could see that the lights were all off in the house, which was odd considering it wasn't that late and his family was a group of night owls. Maybe they'd all packed up and abandoned ship, too ashamed to see him.

He'd have to live with Daichi or become a hermit. Oh well. At least nobody would bother him about his decision to quit skating if he were sitting on the side of the road begging passersby for spare yen.

"Stop that!" Daichi slapped him hard on the back without warning, jerking Kageyama out of his stew of self-pity and anxiety and causing him to yowl. "OW! Daichi, I didn't even do anything!" His ex-coach shot him an annoyed look. "I could see the depression in your eyes! Quit being so pessimistic and go in already. You're making me sad just sitting next to you."

"Geez." Kageyama rubbed his back, shooting Daichi a pointed glare as he threw open the car door and hopped out. Daichi had popped the trunk for him, so he gathered his bags, grumbling irritably under his breath the whole time. Stupid Daichi. He clearly didn't get what Kageyama was feeling at all, contrary to what he'd said in the hospital room the year before. The crushing paranoia? The fear they would hate him? The inexplicable urge to both vomit and cry? Yep; all there, and definitely not something Daichi understood.

As soon as his last bag was free of the car, the trunk whooshed closed and Daichi sped off without so much as a goodbye, leaving Kageyama standing in the middle of his yard, pissed off and even more anxious than before. He fumbled around with his suitcases for a bit; picked them up, then put them down again. He knew he was stalling, but he was absolutely and truly terrified of what his family's reaction would be. In all honesty, it was driving him a bit insane to not know how the reunion would play out, but at the same time, he felt as if his feet were glued to the grass.

But slowly, step by step, he dragged his legs over the yard and towards the house, only stopping once he had reached the front door. He shuffled around another few minutes staring fixedly at it, trying to build up the willpower to open it. It was much harder than he thought.

Even though he knew he had to face them eventually, Kageyama felt like gravity was weighing him down, preventing him from stepping foot in the house. His family was everything he had; if they decided they wanted nothing to do with him, what would he do then? Return to Europe? Stay in Japan and try to live on his own? Both weren't particularly appealing...

"Gah, this is stupid," he said aloud, scuffing his heel across the ground with a scowl. "I just need to suck it up and go inside. Maybe they're all asleep and I can just sneak into my room and deal with this in the morning. Yeah, they're probably asleep. The lights are off..." He took a deep breath and squared his shoulders. I can do this... Just open the door.

Before he could chicken out, Kageyama pushed open the door and stepped inside... and promptly screamed. "WELCOME HOME TOBIO!" was shouted at about 4000 decibels into his face as soon as he entered, causing him to trip right back out the door and fall very ungracefully on his ass. He stared breathlessly up at the gathering of people standing in the entryway with a horrified expression. "What... the... hell..." he gasped out, scrambling to his feet and trying to lower his heart rate back to a normal level.

His sister sprang out of the crowd and tackled him, nearly causing him to tip over again. But after five seconds of hugging, she pushed him back and slapped him across the face. "Dumbass Tobio! You're such a dumbass!" She glared at him. "How could you stay away from home for a whole year?!"

He winced, feeling anther rush of guilt. "Sorry, Yuka..." He looked around cautiously. "But, um... what is all this?"

His sister placed her hands on her hips and glanced back at the gathered group, who were all smiling and murmuring. "Oh, them? We put together a little surprise party for you when Daichi told us you were coming back." She shot him another glare. "Thanks for not telling me about that, by the way."

"Sorry..." Kageyama rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, but he was feeling slightly better. If they'd thrown him a surprise party, maybe they weren't as mad as he'd thought... Still, though, this was all a little overwhelming. Relieving, but overwhelming nonetheless. For the moment, all he really wanted to do was sleep. It had been a long flight and with this newest development, a huge weight had been lifted off his chest. Kageyama felt like he could sleep for days.

Yuka seemed to realize this, and her gaze softened as she wrapped a protective arm around his shoulder and guided him through the crowd. "Everyone, I think Tobio has a bit of jetlag. Everyone go on home. You can see him in the morning." There was a chorus of "Aw"s as everyone started to shuffle towards the door, but Kageyama was too tired to feel guilty. He had to admit, though; being home felt good. Great, actually.

And now all he wanted to do was collapse amidst his familiar covers and hopefully wake up to something better. Seeing Yuka and his family and friends... everything came crashing down on him and he felt utterly overwhelmed and exhausted. His past decisions seemed to weigh on him even more. A second of relief, and now he was drowning again.

Luckily, they reached his room, and Yuka patted him on the back and ushered him inside. "We'll talk in the morning. Get some rest. You look like you could use it."

Kageyama said nothing, withdrawing into his room and preparing to shut the door. Yuka stopped for a moment, glancing back at him, and he paused. "Just so you know, I'm glad you're back. It really wasn't the same around here without you. " She smiled. "Goodnight, Tobio."

She retreated down the hallway to her own room, leaving Kageyama feeling even more conflicted. If she was trying to make him feel guilt about quitting skating and staying away for a year by being unbearably nice to him, then it was definitely working. She was way smarter than he gave her credit for.

Collapsing onto the bed, Kageyama stared morosely at his bedroom wall, which was covered with figure skating posters he'd collected over the years, as well as numerous photos of him and his friends on the ice, smiling widely. He stared at one in particular; him and Daichi at the kiss and cry after he'd won his first World Championship. He had been a crying, ecstatic mess, and had tears running down his face while he proudly held up his medal, Daichi wearing a joyful smile with an arm wrapped around his shoulder.

The memory made him smile, and his eyelids began to flutter as sleep overtook him. Perhaps he'd given up skating, but he'd always have the memories from that time: Those no one could take away from him. And maybe, just maybe, he might make more some day.