9:51 AM, SEPTEMBER 18, 1983

"I'm so glad we're all gonna hang out!" I say, grinning. "It's been a long time."

Donna rolls her eyes. "We all hung out two nights ago, Kelso," she says bitchily. I frown. Ever since Eric knocked her up she's been even meaner than Jackie.

"It has been too long. I agree with Kelso," Fez says.

"Shocker," Eric mutters. I ignore him and throw my arm around Fez's shoulders.

"Thanks little buddy."

"I just hope Jackie doesn't get pissed at us for coming over without calling," Donna says. "It's pretty early for a Saturday. She'll kick us all in the shins if we surprise her before she's got her makeup on."

"Maybe we'll get lucky and catch her and Hyde having hot morning sex on their kitchen table," Fez says excitedly. Grossed out, I let my arm drop to my side and take a few steps away from him.

"Well, now that we've got that unholy image burned into my brain forever, why don't we go on up?" Eric says with a shudder.

We hear them shouting as soon as the elevator doors open on their floor, even though their apartment is at the end of the hall.

"This sounds promising," Donna mutters.

Their voices get louder the closer we get to the door. I turn to Eric. "Hey, do you think this is about how Hyde's been crashing at my place for the past few nights? When he left this morning he said him and Jackie might still be fighting by the time we come over," I say. Eric shrugs, but he doesn't say anything. He looks weird, almost guilty, but I brush it off and push past him to open the door. They all follow me in.

The first thing I notice is that Jackie's robe is open and she's wearing a super hot little nightie underneath. Me and Fez grin at each other. Well, we do until Jackie starts screeching again.

"Shut up Steven! I'm serious, it's over. Now get out!"

I gotta say, I'm pretty damn glad I was all the way across the country when Jackie dumped me for good. I sometimes forget how scary she is when she's pissed. And, man, right now she is pissed.

"Jackie, I live here too," Hyde says as he follows her across their living room.

"Well, not anymore you don't. You can pick up your crap in the street tomorrow. That should give me enough time to throw everything you own out the window," Jackie says.

"Dammit, will you calm down?"

Jackie's jaw drops. Me, Eric, Fez, and Donna all shake our heads.

"Oh, Hyde…no."

"Man, even I know that's the wrong thing to say," I mutter to Fez.

"Ay, poor Hyde is a goner."

"What a dillhole. I ought to help Jackie kick his ass," I hear Donna say to Eric. We all stop talking when Jackie turns to stand off against Hyde.

"What did you say to me?" she shrieks.

"I told you to calm the hell down and stop acting like a goddamn lunatic."

All of us back away from them. As much as I'll miss Hyde when Jackie kills him, I can't risk having my super hot bod harmed defending him. That chick has some sharp nails.

"I am not being a lunatic! I have every right to be angry, Steven Hyde!" she yells. "You haven't been home in three nights, you won't touch me, you won't even look at me, and I am freakin fantastic to look at! You did something terrible and stupid and you won't tell me about it, and you know what? I don't care. Clearly our relationship means nothing to you if you can't even man up enough to tell me how you screwed it up."

"Does anyone else feel like we shouldn't be hearing this?" Eric says.

"Eric, shut up! If they hear you, they'll realize we're here and make us leave," I hiss back.

"We're all in the same room, Kelso."

"Well, they obviously don't know that, do they?" I shush him to make sure we don't miss out on anything good.

Hyde clenches his fists and takes a deep breath. "I didn't screw anything up Jackie."

"Then tell me where you've been. Tell me why you're acting like the jerk you were when we first met. What the hell is going on?"

He doesn't say anything. We're all holding our breaths. I look back and forth between them, trying not to blink.

"Is he going to say anything?"

"Nobody knows, Fez. That's why we're all standing here listening," Eric mutters. I shush him again, just in time.

"Fine. Forget it. I don't care anymore." Jackie sounds like she's about to cry and I start to feel sorry for her, until she storms to his dresser and starts yanking stuff out of the drawers. The four of us look at each other, confused, until Jackie stomps over to the window and shoves it open. I hear Donna gasp as Jackie throws her armful of t-shirts down to the street, ignoring Hyde's "What the hell!"

"You can take your damn records," she says shakily, dodging Hyde's arms as she moves past him for another handful of his things, "and your damn t-shirts and go live under a freeway overpass for all I care." Something small drops loudly from her new pile and she bends down to pick it up when she sees what it is.

"Jackie, don't!" Hyde says, trying to snatch it away from her, but she's already opening the little black velvet box. Everything else she's carrying falls to the floor with a clatter.

Me and Fez and Donna gasp. Jackie looks shocked. Hyde looks embarrassed.

"What—what is this?" Jackie finally says.

"I think you have a pretty good idea of what that is," he replies quietly.

"But—but you were…and the…you were gone for three—three nights and…"

"I talked to Mrs. Forman a few days ago. She gave it to me when I told her I wanted to…it's the one Red gave her. I was gonna do it tonight…at the freakin Vineyard…with everyone freakin watching…but you kinda flipped out and started throwing my crap out the window, so," he trails off. Jackie's eyes are practically popping out of her head.

"You were—you were going to—"

"Yeah."

"And you weren't here because you were freaking out like you always do when you're about to do something important or emotional and this is pretty freaking important and emotional so you were off freaking out…"

"Yeah," Hyde mumbles.

"Oh my god," Jackie whispers.

The rest of us grin. "Awww!"

"Shut up!" Hyde snaps.

"Hyde and Jackie sitting in a tree—" Fez starts singing, until Eric frogs him on the arm.

"Fez, maybe now isn't the best time."

Hyde shakes his head at us and looks at Jackie again. "Jackie?"

"I—well, I'm not saying yes until you actually ask me," she says, shoving the box in his hand. He takes it and looks at us, then back at her, in disbelief.

"Right now?"

"Yes right now!"

"But—you're in your pajamas, and I haven't slept in two days and everyone's gawking at us—"

"Steven, if you don't get down on one knee and propose to me right now I will kick your shins so hard you'll need years of physical therapy just to be able to walk with a limp!"

Hyde drops to his knee.

"Good call," I whisper to Fez. He nods.

"Okay, um…Jackie. Look, I know that we fight a lot, and you kick me a lot, and you drive me up the freakin wall just about every day," Hyde begins. He looks nervous, but he's staring right into her eyes. "We've never really been, you know, about presents and compliments and a weekly date night like 'Mom and Dad' over there," I snicker at Eric and Donna as they scowl, "so no one really knows why we got together or why we stayed together for so long. But that doesn't matter 'cause we know." He gives her a small smile when she starts to cry. I've never really seen him smile like that before. "And we don't need to be a normal, boring couple just so other people will get it. We're creepy and unnatural, remember? I may hate you a lot of the time, but I always…I always love you." Jackie is practically sobbing at that. I've never seen either of them so emotional. It's kinda freaking me out. Hyde takes a deep breath. "So…will you marry me?"

We're all waiting for her to start squealing and jumping up and down, but Jackie just covers her mouth with her hands and keeps crying.

"Speak, woman, I'm on the edge of my freakin' seat here!" Fez yells.

Suddenly, Jackie drops her hands and even with the tears still coming out of her eyes, she's smiling. "Yes. Oh my god, yes."

Hyde's smile gets even bigger and suddenly they're both laughing as he puts the ring on her finger. He stands up and grabs her hips and then they're making out like crazy in the middle of the living room with all of us watching.

"Wow," Eric says. "That was surprisingly poignant."

"Yeah. I don't think I've ever heard Hyde say so much at once," Donna says. I nod and glance over at Fez to see what he thinks. I frown a little 'cause the guy's got a hand covering his mouth and his shoulders are shaking a bit.

"Hey, Fezzy man, are you okay?" I ask.

"Y-yes."

I look at him more closely. "Are you crying?"

He glares at me. "Don't judge me, you son of a bitch, you know that was beautiful!"

"Donna I'm getting married!" Jackie's squeal distracts me from Fez's girliness and I turn around just in time to see her jump into the arms of Big D. I watch them hug and wish I had a camera with me.

"I know, I heard. Congratulations!" she replies. "And Hyde, about time," she says over Jackie's shoulder. "She's been getting more and more annoying lately, ever since I got married first." Jackie pulls away and smacks Donna on the shoulder but they laugh and stare at the ring instead of letting that slap turn into a sexy wrestling match, so I turn to the guys.

"Hey, congratulations man," Eric says as he gives Hyde a hug.

"Thanks Forman."

I high-five him. "Yeah, way to burn Eric and Donna in your proposal. That was awesome!"

Hyde laughs. "Yeah. I try, man. Oh, and all that stuff I just said never leaves this room, you hear?"

"Well, you have to tell Red and Kitty," Eric says.

"Why?"

Eric winces. "Um, she was kind of expecting to get to witness it…tonight…at the Vineyard."

"Dammit, Forman, you invited your mom to dinner with us? What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Hey, she cornered me man, there was nothing I could do. You're just gonna have to do it again and pretend it's the first time."

Donna frowns at Eric. "Wait, how did you know—" she begins, but Jackie prances over and grabs onto Hyde's arm, interrupting her.

"Ooh, Steven that's perfect!" she squeals. "You can say that whole wonderful speech all over again."

He glares at her. "No."

"You'll have to add in some comments about how beautiful I am. I can write down a few suggestions."

"No."

"And you'll be wearing a tuxedo—"

"Hell no!"

"And I'll be wearing makeup and heels and perfume—"

Hyde is about to say no again, but instead he smirks. "And nothing else?"

I get a mental image of hot, naked girls in high heels. "Alright! I'm coming do dinner!" I shout. "I'll even pay for everyone if Jackie shows up naked."

"Kelso's paying," everyone says at once. I frown.

"Wha—no, wait! That's not fair!" I say as everyone smirks at me.

Jackie turns to Hyde. "So you'll do it?"

He rolls his eyes and smirks. "Hey, anything to burn Kelso," he replies.

Jackie puts her hand to her heart. "Oh, Steven," she says before leaning up to kiss him.

I cross my arms and scowl. "What the hell, man? I hate paying for dinner." I flop down on their couch while everyone else laughs, when I get an awesome idea. I jump up off the couch with my hand in the air and shout, "Guys, I have an awesome idea!"

"We are not doing a dine-and-dash again, Michael!" Jackie yells. I drop my arm and huff.

"I never get to do anything fun!"

"You know what's fun?" Hyde says. "Bringing my clothes up from the street. Hop to it." He frogs me hard in the arm. I pout and stomp out of the apartment.