Dear Sasuke
By An Angel In Tears
A/N Wow. I've had a pretty decent week. I finished fully translating a song, which is a first for me. Um… it's sifow's Ya-OMOTe and I'm addicted to it through her new album, 'Love Spell'. Anyways, enough shameless advertising from me, and on with this chapter!
Dislclaimer: I still don't own Naruto. Sorry. Or Ootsuka Ai.
-x-
Dear Sasuke,
My parents are being totally unfair. They've only went and grounded me for no decent reason on something that totally wasn't my fault, and anyways, what happened was an accident. I've tried talking to them about the situation and they still don't care. What can I do?
From Ai-chan
Dear Ai,
I know your type. You just want me to add that honorific to the end of your name so you can and show off to the other obsessed fan girl idiots out there. But that's not going to happen, so go and cry or something. Anyways, who calls their kid Ai? Who are you? Ootsuka Ai or somebody?
Moving on to actually answering your problem now. What did you do? Drop your sister on their head or something? God, if they don't listen, do what every emo-wannabe does. Cry and threaten to kill yourself if they don't listen to your reasoning. Or threaten to drop your sister on her head again or something. Don't bother with that cookies and crap stuff because it doesn't work.
And… at least you have… parents…
Sasuke
-x-
Dear Sasuke,
I have an addiction to something that isn't that common, or at least I don't think it is. I have an addiction to listening to my mp3 player. Okay, at first it was awesome, and now it's freaky. Any tips on getting over small addictions?
From LAWL
Dear LAWL,
What the hell's up with the name LAWL? God, can't you just say LOL or something, like every other normal person on the planet? Anyways, the answer to your problem is simple, which makes me question your intelligence. Throw it out of the window, and then get a truck to run over it. Then you can't listen to it, unless you try to glue it back together. Problem solved.
…God, even Naruto could have answered that problem. And get a proper addiction.
Sasuke
-x-
Dear Uke,
This guy likes girl with long hair, and I happen to have long hair. But he doesn't like me. You like girls/boys who have long hair, don't you? How did you feel when Neji rejected you?
From Angel-chan
Dear Angel,
What is it with your fan girl stalkers and your obsession with having the word 'chan' added at the end of your name? You're probably some random fan girl who I haven't met. Actually, you sound like a few girls I know. If you do happen to be one of those girls, and yes, they do know who they are, go and die in a fire. Secondly, my name is SASUKE. You can read, can't you? And before you probably write in again, I'm not a uke. Quite the opposite actually. Wait. Go hand yourself after you've possible died in a fire. How the hell do you know that I like girls with long hair? Stalker. And no, Neji never rejected me, or anything like that, so I don't know what you're talking about. Stop with your sick fan girl fantasies.
About your little boy problem. Ignore him.
Sasuke
-x-
Dear Sasuke,
I see things. Things that nobody should ever need to see, and now I'm scared. I see dead sheep. It's a trick of the mind, isn't it? Please help!
From Baabara
Dear Baabara,
You see dead SHEEP? As if. If you think I'm that stupid not to notice the, "Baa," in your name, you need to go and get your head checked.
Sasuke
-x-
Dear Sasuke,
Fandom stole my life. I can't have a single thought that doesn't end up looping back to Naruto fandom. As great as the fandom is, it's going too far and killing what little social life I had before. Which, trust me, was very little.
From Emoer Than You
Dear Emoer Than You,
You're obsessed with that idiot? God, get a life. And what's fandom? You could have at least give me some light about what you mean by 'fandom'. Unfortunately, I'm not a God yet, and I can't read your mind. Firstly, totally ignore the blonde idiot, and burn anything you have that reminds you of him. Then go and get a life because it really sounds as though you don't have one.
And you, emo-er than me? I highly doubt it.
Sasuke
-x-
Dear Sasuke,
I broke up with my boyfriend almost two years ago, and I can admit that it was never going to work, just because I really didn't like him. But now, I've developed a really big crush on him but he's not interested. I know I've left it too late, but now it's driving me mad because I can't do anything about it. I don't expect us to get back together or anything, but could you give me some ideas about how to get over him and finally move on?
From Asuka
Dear Asuka,
God dammit, go and get a life and stop being obsessed with your ex. I mean, he's probably moved on and stuff and you're just pining over him like some sort of idiot. No wonder he's not interested. Forget about him, move on and you'll be fine. And don't start with the whole thing about you can't get over him. It's possible.
Sasuke
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A/N I'm so sorry! This is so short! I've just really struggled with this chapter and I'm running out of ideas for problems pretty soon. I think I've got some ideas for the third one, but any contributions are welcome.
Thank you to SandKunoichi and Cami Willow for reviewing on the first chapter. And a big thank you to zopponde and Angel-chan (not me) for giving me some problems to work with!
So, now I've just got to write the next chapter. Joy.