Timeline – Still pre season one.

Disclaimer – I don't own the Torchwood characters or concepts.

4/8/10 – Made some minor updates. I watched Fragments again and realized I had some details wrong. And I fixed some typos!

"So you've been here a while now. How do you like working for Torchwood, Toshiko?"

Tosh looked up, startled by Jack's voice. She'd been so absorbed in the program she was running that she hadn't heard him approach. Then again, she knew how silently he could move when he wanted to.

"I like it very much, Captain Harkness," Tosh answered formally, eyes down.

"I've told you before, it's Jack," he reproved, moving closer and propping one hip on the edge of her desk. Another deliberate invasion of her personal space. Tosh's heartbeat accelerated. And that smile.

She knew Jack flirted with everyone. That it was how he greeted people, his way of setting people at ease – or ruffling them, if that was what he wanted to do. His chief method of extracting information without the subject even realizing what he was doing. His customary way of apologizing, even, when he was about to interrupt her work, the way he'd just done. That it didn't necessarily mean he'd take it any further.

On the other hand, she was very aware of the fact that there were only the four of them in Torchwood. That given the secrecy and the pressure of their work, it wasn't really wise to get involved with anyone from outside. And that Jack was lonely. Tosh knew loneliness intimately, and she could recognize it looking back at her out of someone else's eyes. Not that she necessarily wanted to do anything about it. With her history, the mere thought of being touched by a man again made her stomach roil. But who else was there?

Suzie and Owen were together. Suzie wasn't very secure in her hold on Owen, if she had a hold on him at all, so she was hardly going to risk it by responding to Jack's flirting. And Owen's reaction when on the receiving end of Jack's charm had nearly made Tosh laugh out loud.

Jack had a steady stream of one-night stands, which didn't dim the loneliness in his eyes by even a fraction. They all knew about his escapades. Although Jack's actual bunker was private, there was no other part of Torchwood that escaped the CCTV, and it contained ample evidence of Jack's successes. Owen and Suzie relished describing those incidents. Tosh hated overhearing those discussions, even being drawn into them by the other two. It made her wonder if there'd been that sort of thing in the Unit prison. She felt nauseous, wondering whether the other guards had viewed what had happened with HIM, making the same sort of disgusting comments Suzie and Owen did about Jack. She'd started getting into the CCTV herself and deleting the evidence, which had earned her a heartfelt thank you from Jack when he realized what she was doing.

And since then the frequency of Jack's approaches to her had increased. She knew by now that he was a far finer person than the guard who had abused her. He'd probably accept a refusal with good humor; leave her alone if she asked him to. Probably. But still, she was in his power. He could send her back…If she displeased him. Would rejection displease him enough for that? He'd laughed off Suzie's rejections, but then, Suzie had Owen to protect her. Tosh had no-one.

"Toshiko?" Jack's voice again. He'd continued speaking and she hadn't heard a word.

"Sorry…Jack," Tosh answered apologetically. She forced herself to focus on the scrap of paper that had appeared on the desk in front of her.

"Would you run a background check for me? This guy knows about Weevils. I might need to track him down and Retcon him."

"Of course, Jack." But her brow creased. "But…um…." What on Earth was wrong with her? She'd nearly argued with him. "I'll run the check and have a summary to you by morning," she finished professionally.

"Go ahead, tell me what you were thinking," Jack encouraged. "I like hearing my team's opinions. Even if I don't always follow them." His smile, Toshiko decided, could melt an iceberg. She couldn't help smiling in return.

"Just thought you'd have taken care of that already," she said in a rush.

The smile turned up another notch. It'd melt an entire icecap now.

"Well," Jack drawled, "He did kind of get a Weevil off me. I thought it might be a bit ungrateful to wipe his memory without checking that it was justified."

"Oh, I see."

"I'm thinking he might be useful on the team," Jack continued. "What do you think?"

Why is asking me? Tosh thought in a panic. What if I say the wrong thing? What if I make him angry? And he was waiting for an answer.

"Err. Well, you wouldn't have to go after the Weevils alone anymore," she said finally. "If he's already helped you with one." Surely he couldn't be offended by that.

"You're worried about me? I'm flattered." That flirty tone again. Oh God, Tosh thought. I can't. I can't, not after…

"Actually," Jack's tone changed from flirty to thoughtful. "It's not a bad idea, getting the rest of you out into the field. Owen and Suzie already know how to handle weapons. What would you say to some firearms training, Toshiko?"

Learning how to defend herself? Carrying a weapon of her own? Oh yes.

"I'd like that," she said, stammering in her eagerness. "I really would."

The smile ratcheted up to global warming level. "No time like the present. Shall we?"

"With you?" Toshiko literally stopped breathing. Alone with Jack in the shooting range. Alone with Jack anywhere. Could she refuse him? Did she even want to?

The look Jack shot her was full of exaggerated offence. An eyebrow quirking up. Eyes twinkling. Damn, he was attractive. Maybe she could go through with this after all.

"I assure you, I'm very good with my weapons, Tosh. Sorry, can I call you Tosh?"

"Most people do." Tosh forced a smile onto her face. Flirting wasn't really that difficult, if she put her mind to it. And her safety might depend on it. Maybe he wouldn't send her back to Unit if she refused, but he definitely wouldn't send her back if she pleased him. "Toshiko's a bit of a mouthful," she added, meeting his eyes with her own before dropping them.

Jack chuckled. He extended a hand. "Come on. Let's get you armed and dangerous. Though I'm beginning to suspect," he added, as she took his hand and allowed him to lead her away, "That you already are."

It was fine to begin with. Jack showed her a staggering range of weapons. He described how each one worked, how they differed from each other. Loading and unloading. And he was a good teacher. Tosh actually began to enjoy herself. She absorbed it all, did it all perfectly, glowing under the praise Jack heaped on her for learning so quickly. But then it was time to select a weapon and fire. Her first shots went wide, too high, too low. Jack began calling advice from the sidelines.

"Straighten your back. One arm, not two, with that one. Hold your wrist firm. Squeeze the trigger, don't jerk at it." Too many orders, she couldn't get them all straight.

"Here," Jack said finally, "Let me show you."

Jack moved closer, adjusting her arms, nudging her into the correct stance. She tried again. Better, but she still couldn't get it quite right. And Jack moved closer still, aligning her arms with his, his chest pressing against her back to straighten it.

"OK, now let's fire," he encouraged. His cheek pressed against hers so he could see down the sight of the pistol she was trying to use. She felt his breath warm her face. And her resolve deserted her completely. She couldn't do this. She just couldn't.

And something deep within Toshiko snapped and screamed. The very soul within her whimpered. Jack's arms around her, his body against hers, it terrified her, for all that he was supposedly just showing her the correct stance. The smell of him was overpowering. He was too close. The tentative trust and faith she'd begun to develop in him vanished in an instant, drowned beneath a tidal wave of fear. She was afraid to resist. Resistance might earn her a dismissal, back to her cell. But she was more afraid of submission. Because Jack was more powerful by far than the HE that haunted her nightmares. If she submitted to Jack, all that was left of Toshiko would vanish.

Between one fear and another, she simply froze. Literally froze. She felt cold, inside and out. Jack released her abruptly and moved away.

"Someone's hurt you." A statement. Not a question. He was angry, she could hear that in his voice, but somehow she knew the anger wasn't directed at her. Still, she didn't answer. Couldn't. Her teeth were chattering.

"I can't promise you'll never be hurt in Torchwood," Jack said softly. "But not that way. Never again. I promise."

Toshiko leaned against a wall and trembled. The breath rasped in and out of her lungs.

"Don't send me away," she whispered. "Don't send me back. I can't go back."

Jack looked with pity at the terrified woman before him, angry with himself for not realising there was more to her reserve than simple shyness. It was so obvious, now. And he'd made things worse.

"I'm not sending you back, Toshiko," he said gently. "You're part of Torchwood. An important part. You're excellent at your job. Better than I'd hoped, even. You don't," he paused, wondering how to phrase the rest. "You don't have to do anything else to earn your place here, or to keep it. If I've given you any other impression, then I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

Tosh shook her head, trying to get her brain working again. He wasn't angry. He was sorry. Was he really? Or was he going to take her home and fill her full of Retcon?

"I'll get Suzie to drive you home," Jack continued, his voice level and even. "And she'll do the rest of your firearms training. Is that OK?"

Tosh nodded numbly. She didn't like Suzie, but she understood what Jack was trying to do, and she was staggered. He really was sorry. He was trying to make her feel safe. Maybe she was safe. Relatively. For now. As long as she kept doing her job. And she could do that.

Owen watched Suzie and Tosh leave with raised eyebrows. "She's on the verge of going into shock," he commented, pulling out his phone. He tapped in a message. "Telling Suzie to stay with her tonight," he explained. "She might need someone."

"Good idea," Jack agreed.

"What happened down there?" Owen demanded.

"Firearms training," Jack said shortly.

Owen snorted.

Jack sighed. "I didn't do anything, Owen. Hell, do you really think I would?"

Owen stared at Jack for a moment, assessing. "No," he admitted. "You wouldn't. Not without an invitation. You're a sleaze, but you aren't a creep. Not completely."

"Gee thanks," Jack answered sarcastically.

"So what happened?" Owen persisted. "I'm her doctor now. I need to know."

"I don't know," Jack answered. And he didn't, but he could guess. But he wanted Owen to draw his own conclusion. Maybe he was wrong. He hoped he was wrong. "She had a meltdown when I was putting her into the right stance."

Owen nodded thoughtfully, frowning. "Fine until you touched her, right?"

Jack nodded. Owen had obviously reached the same conclusion he had, and neither of them liked it.

"Poor little cow," Owen said. He sighed regretfully. "Guess it's hands off then. Pity. Suzie's getting a bit boring."

Jack did something he rarely did, though he was frequently on the receiving end. He rolled his eyes.

Curled in her bed that night, hearing the comforting sounds of Suzie moving around in her lounge room, Toshiko admitted the most fearful thing of all. That, for an instant, she had wanted to submit. Jack Harkness was quite simply the most attractive man she'd ever met. But love and power had been her downfall and he represented both. It wasn't' safe to trust him, to like him, and she'd begun to feel both. Tosh forced herself to remember the cell. To remember what had happened the last time she allowed herself to trust someone. Icy fear poured back into her broken heart. She froze again, from the core out. And the ice felt safe.

Hi to anyone who is reading this. I know it's a bit darker than my usual stuff, so I would appreciate feedback on how I'm doing. And it will get better!