Hello Lovlies, I'm sorry for the long delay on Thing W/ Feathers, if you're reading it, I have some serious writer's block with that story and I'm slowly getting through it. Anyway, this is way longer than any of my other chapters are, about 14 pages of feels… Sorry about that, but I think this one is just super feelsy. So, yeah. Legacy and Magic Postulate should be updated it a few days… Also, the author I'm writing Minds Of Men with, she and I are trying to get a hedgehog for a pet because our uni accepts small mammals that can be kept in cages, so that may be a thing. Um, warnings; feels, all the feels, Sev/Lily, OCs and just feels. This is gonna be super long and feelsy, I just know it. TA

Chapter 2: The pensive

Hogwarts—one week later

Merlin had been released from the hospital wing that morning, Madame Pomfrey finally agreeing that he was fit and in prime health. She reminded him a bit of his mother in her strict concern for health, but back then a simple cold could kill so Merlin figured Momma was justified in her militancy. He walked through the corridors in clean clothes; he'd been given wizarding robes but he hadn't worn those since he was a schoolboy so he'd transfigured them into a replica of his brown leather jacket. The tunic was a deep purple and he'd transfigured his scarf into a grey neckerchief. He'd kept the leather trousers he'd been given the same, as well as the riding boots.

He smiled at all the stunned students; but he tried not to be distracted from his task by questions, most of which came from the Ravenclaws.

Funny how the house personalities stay the same, even with centuries of students, Merlin thought with fondness. He had missed school, but Hogwarts didn't feel the same without the founders.

"Excuse me, excuse me!" came a voice from behind him, he turned in surprise. He'd picked this corridor because it was deserted, and a short cut to the grounds, and he knew not many knew about it. He saw a girl of about fifteen with bushy brown hair pulled back; she carried books in her arms and her book bag, and wore the colours of Gryffindor.

"Yes?" Merlin asked her as he turned to face her fully. His eyes darted through out the corridor, checking to see if they were alone. She flushed a little before straightening her back and raising her chin.

"I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm Hermione Granger," she said. "I was wondering if you were possibly headed to King Arthur and the knights… You see, I'm a muggleborn and also one of the top witches in my year, and since I've also read up much on the myths and legends of King Arthur and Camelot I thought I might be well equipped to help them transition since I know not just the modern muggle world but also the wizarding world as well, and I'm familiar with their adventures. Oh, that's not to say I believe all the myths, but some of those stories must be based in fact, and it would be a perfect opportunity to learn the truth about their adventures… I'm sorry I tend to ramble when excited."

"No, no that's fine. I could use some help with it, actually, and since they do need to meet some good mages, it'd be great if you wanted to help," Merlin said as he turned back in his original direction. "Come on, they'll be training at this point, down in the fields. They're so predictable."

The two walked through the halls, Hermione making comments about not knowing many of the corridors they travelled through, before they reached the knights, and Gaius with the dour Potions Master. Merlin snorted, the two had their heads bent over some plant. He could just imagine their conversation. Merlin waved to Arthur and the knights, who ignored him. He huffed.

"Oi, Dollop head, I get out of the infirmary today, and you're out here?" he called out as he and Hermione came down a soft slope. The knights paused before Arthur smirked.

"Well, since you're here, and obviously healthy, you can help us train, Merlin. Who's this?" Arthur said with his usual candour. Hermione and Snape looked incredulous, but Merlin gave the first real smile of several hundred years. Training and teasing was how Arthur handled stressful, emotional situations that revolved around Merlin, magic or both. This brought him back, to when life—while not care free—had more pleasant, easy moments than he'd been having for the last eon. The knights smirked and twirled their blades, showing off to the young witch.

"This is Hermione Granger. She's a fifth year and one of the best in her year. Since the majority of the mages you're experienced with were evil, I thought it'd be good for you to meet one who isn't. Also, she's a muggleborn, she's the only one in her family to have magic, so she knows how to help you get used to it," Merlin said as he came closer to Arthur. He shot Lance a smirk, Arthur's smile faltered a little.

"Yes, I, ah, I thought I might be helpful. See, for around two centuries muggles haven't known magic even exists, so when people like me show up, the whole family gets a big shock, including the mage. I, ah, brought some books—if any of you are interested—to read if you want to learn more about the Wizarding world," she said as she searched her bag. "Most of it is history, which is fascinating, and some basic magic theory. I'm sure Merlin would be a better source, though, since he's seen all the changes."

"Well, thank-you, miss Granger. That's very thoughtful, I'll take those books, need more reading material anyway," Leon said with a smile. He sheathed his sword and took the books from Hermione with gentle hands. Hermione blushed a bit, but none of the knights mentioned it. They'd tease Leon later.

"Granger is not exaggerating when she states she's one of the best in her year. You'd do well to learn from her," Snape said as he eyed Merlin in a calculating manner. Merlin shifted a little, but didn't feel too uncomfortable. The gaze was more akin to Snape trying to figure out a difficult puzzle than anything else.

"Also, Madame Pomfrey told me you lot were sleeping in a deserted wing. I've got a better place, you come too Hermione. Since you'll be spending more time with us," Merlin said.

"Oh, I'd love to, but I actually have Runes soon and need to hurry to make it on time," Hermione said. Merlin smiled.

"Oh, runes. It is a tricky subject. All right, I'll show you later. See you," Merlin said before she nodded to everyone and ran up the hill. Snape nodded as well before leaving for his potions class. The knights turned devious smiles to Leon then.

"Oh, no, don't even think about it," Leon said as he moved up the hill. "She was very polite, and only wanted to be helpful. Any true knight would have done what I did."

"No one is saying differently, Leon," said Arthur. The group moving up the hill.

"Of course, the fact you smiled a little wider when she blushed, was that a knightly thing to do as well? Or was it more manly?" Elyan asked. The others snickered and Merlin rolled his eyes. They are so childish, he thought with a smile. He'd missed them all. Suddenly Lance was beside him.

"So, you first learned magic here," his old friend said. Merlin smiled wide, so wide that Arthur and the others could see it when he turned his face slightly to answer.

"Yep, the founders sent a letter to my mother's house when I was eleven; they'd written that I could learn here and he safe from witch hunters. Those hunters rarely caught adult mages; usually it was children like me they could get. Magic is partly run on emotion, children have a harder time controlling their feelings, so they're easier to catch," Merlin explained. This is what he liked about Lance; he'd always been interested in Merlin's magical past. He'd never had to edit the truth for Lance, and his friend could understand what it was like to hide his abilities because of who he was.

Leon and Elyan saw Arthur frown at Merlin's wide smile. They shared a quick glance with each other whilst Gawain and Percival frowned at Merlin's tale.

"Wait so most of the adults the witch hunters caught were muggles, people who can't practice magic at all, but they caught children who were real mages? What happened to the children?" Percival asked as they entered the castle again. Merlin lost his smile.

"The journey here was long, and the materials were very expensive to get. We didn't really have the money for me to attend here, especially because we moved around so much, to avoid the hunters… Mother always managed to scrape up enough coin for me to go every year. A lot of poor parents with magical children tried to do the same, it was the only chance any of us had. A lot of children didn't come, though. Most of the ones who died were too young to go to school," Merlin said. He didn't want to explain in detail, or even abstractly, what happened to the children caught by hunters. A lot of his friends had died that way, he'd almost died that way; but Momma had saved him. For a muggle she would've made a damn good Slytherin.

An awkward silence fell on the group; there was a lot the knights didn't know about their former war on magic, like that most of the mages their hunters had caught and executed had been small children. Merlin could feel the moment each realised exactly what he'd said. He'd been a target too; his mother had done who knows what to get the money to send him to school, to safety. Lance put an arm around Merlin.

"Well, glad you came here then. Who knows where we'd have been without you," he said, but the look in his dark eyes said 'I'm sorry'. Merlin gave a small smile over his shoulder at the others.

"You didn't know, and I've never blamed you for it. If you'd had the facts, you'd have done things differently. I know that," he said. His eyes were looking at Arthur even though his words were for the group. Arthur nodded, his heart still heavy with guilt that he hadn't known the facts, that he hadn't understood, and he began to feel that old burning feeling in his gut as Lance's arm stayed around Merlin's shoulders as they all ascended the stairs. The king looked away from the sight, studying the moving pictures instead.

Maybe it's better if we don't… Arthur thought as they continued to climb moving stairs. Lance is probably a better fit, he never hunted mages, never judged magic, he knows more about Merlin than I do, he's trusted more by Merlin—

"Your majesty?" Gaius asked in a quiet voice. Arthur hadn't realised he'd stopped in the deserted hall. The group wasn't too far ahead, but they were out of hearing range.

"Sorry Gaius, I was lost in thought…" Arthur responded. Gaius gave him a knowing look, they he always had, even when Arthur had been a troublesome babe learning to walk.

"Merlin has never blamed you for anything that has happened to mages and magical folk, Sire. In fact, as far as muggles of our day, you are one of the most beloved by our kind… Merlin always wanted to tell you, Arthur, he tried many times too. It was just, whenever he tried, magic was used for evil and Merlin thought it safer for you and Camelot that he supported your decision. It broke his heart that he couldn't tell you until your death," Gaius said. The two were walking again, but it was slow, still behind the others enough to not be heard. Although Gaius saw Merlin continuously looking back, his smooth brow furrowed.

"He told Lance, though," Arthur thought as he eyed the pair in front of the group, he'd just missed another of Merlin's backward glances. Gaius looked at the king.

"He never told Lancelot. He discovered it when he slew the Griffon, Merlin enchanted the lance so he could kill it, he hadn't realised Lancelot had seen him perform the spell. The knight doesn't know Merlin better than you, he merely knows of certain instances where Merlin used magic; mostly because Merlin needed someone to take the credit or he needed help with it. Lancelot was willing to take that place so Merlin didn't draw attention to himself, so he could stay close to you."

"Really? Merlin was always so good at hiding it, the magic. I figured he'd told Lance about it," Arthur said in wonder. To think, Lance had found out, and that was why he was so close to Merlin. Merlin hadn't told Lance, he'd found out by accident.

"Merlin had to be good at hiding it. He spent his whole life running from towns and cities; he was so powerful as a child. Still, there were many close calls early on in Camelot, you nearly found him out a few times. Come Sire, we should catch up, Merlin is getting worried," Gaius said before striding ahead. Arthur quickened his pace.

Merlin hadn't told Lance, Lance had found out. But Merlin had wanted to tell me, tried again and again; Arthur kept thinking in circles a queer smile playing on his mouth. The two caught up to the group that was stood before a blank wall of stone.

"This is the come and go room. I think some people call it the room of requirement, but I've always known it by the former name. Not a lot of people actually know about this place, I discovered it in my second year," Merlin said to the group.

"The room is hidden, you know where it is because of the dancing trolls rigggggghht here," he said pointing. "They way you use the room is to pass by the troll three times in a row while you think about what you need. For example, if you couldn't find the privy and really, really needed to go; then you'd walk past the trolls thrice whilst thinking about the privy, a door would appear and you'd find yourself with a privy… Or several chamber pots, either one meets your needs. It creates a room, or several, to suit your needs. Now watch…"

Merlin went and passed the trolls three times before double doors appeared. He grinned at the gobsmacked group and beckoned them forwards. He opened the doors and there in the centre of a grand room was the round table. To the sides were other rooms and an arching staircase that hugged the wall led to a second floor. Merlin spun to the stunned knights.

"This is home, that's what I thought of when I passed the trolls. When you return, think the round table or home and you should get back here. The room has personalised your private quarters, so you'll have to find which one is yours. Arthur, yours is on the second floor, I know that, but don't know which room, the apothecary room for Gaius and I is up there, but I think my room's down here somewhere. Anyway, I thought this was better than the deserted wing you lot were using, and you can have the room make a training room for you too."

"I have a question," Gawain asked into the awed silence. "Can you make a tavern with this room?" The room filled with laughter.

Professor Snape's quarters—mid November

"This is called a pensive. It views memories," said the potions master. His wife, the Runes professor was with them. She was a beautiful woman with auburn hair that fell in waves and clear green eyes. She looked more familiar to the knights than she should have, but they let that be for the moment, they had more important matters.

The knights were feeling more comfortable with magic now, mostly due to Merlin's easy explanations and Hermione's lectures on culture and history. The teasing for Leon had been getting worse over the week since they met her. She was in the room as well, with a snowy haired boy in her year. HE was there as well, although this Draco Malfoy and Hermione seemed to have tension between them. Snape's twin daughters were also there.

The girls had their mother's hair and their father's eyes. They were nearing fourteen and seemed stuck to the arms of Draco Malfoy. Mrs Snape smiled at that, whilst the potions master seemed to find it rather annoying.

"As my husbands says, it views memories. Think of it like a library, you can copy memories and store them here," she tapped the stone bowl. "And view them whenever you like. Why do you want to know about this, King Arthur?"

"Merlin, he never told us about him being a mage, or about what he went through. Who knows how much truth we're missing about certain events. We thought there might be a way to find out," Arthur said.

"Well, I don't know if he'd let you view his memories, but we can view yours. Memories, true memories contain more information when extracted than when you recall them, since you're taking them in their raw form. We could extract them for you, Sev is a brilliant Legimens," she said. The dour man gave his wife a small smile.

"Oh, I suppose that would be a good place to start, since we haven't talked to Merlin about any of this yet," Gawain said. Leon cleared his voice. The others turned to look at him.

"You can, uh, take mine," he said before looking at each of his brothers. "I was the last of us, even lasted longer than Gaius. I just, thought you might be interested in seeing the… End of it all."

"Certainly, that would be a great way to start," Lily said with an encouraging smile. They brought Leon up to the pensive before Snape placed his wand to the knight's temple.

"Relax, this won't hurt, but it'll feel a bit strange," the man said. "Like pissing out of the side of your head," he added so only Leon could hear. Then, the knight felt a little nudge inside his thoughts and the sensation of relieving himself—out of his temple. It was the strangest feeling he'd ever had. He saw a long, silver stream come from his head and dropped into the bowl. He felt a bit exhausted and nearly collapsed but the twins caught him.

"Don't worry," said one as they lifted him up to a nearby chair.

"It happens to most muggles because you don't have a resistance to magic exhaustion," said the other.

"Take a rest, you'll feel better soon and the more you're around magic the less you'll be effected," Lily said as she handed him a cup of tea. He took it and drank deep as the other knights dunked their heads into his memories.

Leon's memories—Merlin's good-bye

The summer grass swayed in the soft breeze as Leon crossed the training grounds. He was headed to the Physician's tower in search of someone. He wore the crest of lead knight, but something didn't sit right in his gut. Queen Gwenevire had not really mourned her husband Arthur, she'd not changed much in lieu of his demise and it struck Leon as strange. Most people did not sob uncontrollably, but their habits and demeanour changed as they grieved. He saw it in the quiet, solemn faces of the knights, the soft voices of the people; even the criminals had lulled their crimes in respect of the late king.

"He's changed the most though," Leon spoke to himself as he entered the tower and travelled to Gaius and Merlin's chambers. Merlin had become silent, only speaking when spoken to. He seemed like just one of the other servants, he didn't laugh or jest and never pushed his luck by speaking out of turn or drawing attention to himself. Arthur's death had made him meek and submissive, like the servers Leon passed every hour in the castle. Leon knocked before entering.

The stable boy had told him early this morning, and Leon couldn't believe it. Merlin was leaving Camelot. For good. Leon came into the room to witness a sight; Gaius was sitting on the bed in his night shirt, regardless of his usual habit of be up at dawn, and Merlin was shuffling out the far door with his bags over his shoulders. There were no words spoken between them.

"I heard you were leaving," Leon said. He didn't know what else to say… 'Don't go, don't leave when I think something's wrong and we're the only two left of us all, and you always seemed to be the one who fixed everything.' No, that wouldn't ever pass his mouth, but it was spoken on his face. Merlin looked up and gave a pinched smile.

"You know me," Merlin said to Leon before turning to Gaius. "Remember to write often… Thank you, Gaius, for everything."

"Merlin I think there's—"Leon started. He needed to get this out before his courage failed him the way it seemed to lately. His king and brothers had always given him the strength to be brave, but the king was gone now, and Merlin was the last. Merlin frowned.

"Of course you think there's something wrong. Leon, the three of us are going to be the only ones from court who think that something is wrong; but we're helpless to stop it. Gwen won't listen to us, since her coronation she hasn't, and she definitely won't now that she has what she wanted," Merlin ranted as he tried to push passed Leon. The armoured knight pushed back.

"What do you mean, Merlin…"

"She's the queen now, no more Arthur or others to question her. She's got the highest rank of the whole kingdom, and she won't listen to anyone beneath her. She'll destroy Camelot with her incompetence and I can't stop her. She stopped listening to me when she was crowned. I'm leaving."

"Where? How far, you can't—"

"I can, Leon. Arthur and the knights were what kept me here, you and Gaius are all that's left and I can't… I can't watch everything Arthur worked for crumble because of Gwen," Merlin's voice was small. "It hurts enough to know they're all gone except for us. I can't—I'd break, Leon, I can't handle watching something like this…

"I'm not going too far, just on the edge of the southern boarders, a charcoal maker's hut, it's empty and solid. You'll find me healing there… Good bye Leon, you and Gaius are welcome anytime."

With that Merlin slipped past him and left. Leon looked at Gaius and found a sad, defeated look on the healer's face, it didn't belong there. The black mourning drapes didn't belong in the castle. The black neckerchief didn't belong on Merlin. None of this, none of it belonged. What belonged were his blood brothers alive, the King sitting at the round table in his Armour or hunting in his leathers, Merlin's cheek and laughter. There would never be any of that again.

"He really did—" Leon started to say.

"Oh no, he still does, and always will I suspect," Gaius said as he nodded to the door.

The knights looked on in their misty forms. Even Gwain was quiet and serious for this. This Camelot was so foreign to the one they knew; Elyan said nothing in the face of Merlin's rant against his sister. As far as he knew, Merlin was right, his sister barely listened to him. She'd always been in such a way. Still, it was hard to hear that come from someone who'd once considered him Gwen's friend.

Arthur felt sick as he saw Merlin; the skinny man was thinner than usual. His quiet, meek manner was sickening to Arthur. Merlin was supposed to smile, tease, insult and be… Merlin. He couldn't imagine what the warlock had gone through. His heart tore itself in a tug of war, one side feeling pain at Merlin's grief and the other shocked at Merlin's rant. The other knights felt for Leon, and the world they knew being turned upside down. The scenery changed and things got worse.