Fundamental difference

Author's note: I'm not reopening or making this into a series. This story was written by request. It is just a one-shot on Tezuka and Sanada that happens to be in the same universe and I don't want to add one chapter stories into my account. Makes finding all the inter-related fics easier. Chronologically, this chapter occurs after 'Love is like Tennis'.
Just in case, this Universe is set in the future, after they graduated. Sanada and Tezuka were in special tennis school overseas preparing to enter the Pro circuit. There maybe another shortish chapter after this.

"Tezuka, wait up!" yelled a blond haired boy behind him.

Tezuka stopped. "Edvard."

The boy grabbed his sleeve. "Hey! I heard you moved in with Thunderstorm."

"So?"

Edvard lowered his voice conspiratorally. "What is he like, as house mate? How can you stand him?"

Tezuka gave Edvard a long look, till the other boy squirmed uncomfortable. "Come on ..."

"He is clean, neat, quiet, and pays the bills on time."

"You know what I ... erk!" The Finn had just caught the full power of Sanada's glare from across the court. He took one step away from Tezuka and quickly recited, "Coach Hildebert wants you in the gym in 10 mins."

By the time Sanada reached Tezuka, Edvard had disappeared into another building.

"Sanada?"

"Was he bothering you?"

"No. Was he bothering you?"

"Hmph! He stands too close," Sanada said darkly.

Tezuka did not miss the surge of possessiveness in his tone."I'll be late. Just go home without me."

Sanada gave him a wordless nod and left for the locker room.

Coach Hildebert and Tezuka's physiotherapist went through his monthly physical check up carefully. He had Tezuka working on light arm and shoulder exercises while the doctor checked his shoulder and elbow joints for discomfort. A reddish mark on the edge of his scapula gave the doctor some concern. Tezuka tried his best to lightly dismiss it as minor. Since he could not see the size and shape of the mark, he thought it best not to try to explain it.

It was the first time he had to lie, telling the doctor he did not remember how he got it. He could remember very well Sanada's mouth on his skin, sucking and nipping at the prominent bone while Sanada's hand was wrapped around him, squeezing and pumping him.

After the doctor was done, Coach sat him down for a little pep talk, as he liked to call it. "I heard you moved in with Sanada."

Tezuka nodded. He had just changed his address at the administration office in the morning. He should have guessed the news would spread within the day, thanks to the efficient grapevine made of office clerks.

"I am pleased to hear it, actually. You and Sanada are the only Japanese trainees we have here. It helps to have sympathetic company sometimes, to help deal with culture shock and homesickness."

"Helps keep expenses down," said Tezuka non-commitally. God forbid the next rumour circulating around would be how Tezuka and Sanada have sappy heart-to-heart from homesickness.

"I just want you to know I am supportive of this arrangement. So is Coach Etter," he said, referring to Sanada's trainer. "I do, however, need to caution you about managing your relationship with Sanada. You will be seeing a lot of him, here and at home. Sometimes, the competitiveness and too much close proximity can cause friction and resentment. And that will affect both your performances. This is why the two of you are placed in different groups."

Close proximity indeed. The trainer had no idea how close their proximity were at home. He firmly told his groin to take a cold shower before his cheeks caught on. He nodded wordlessly.

"Well, you are both mature and responsible young men. I trust you will work and live amicably with each other. And I hope, become even better athletes." He gave Tezuka a kindly uncle look. "My door is always open, if you have any problems."

"Thank you. I will be fine," said Tezuka. He stood up, taking the last sentence as dismissal and made his escape.

The smell of grilled fish assailed his nose the moment he stepped home. Sanada, to his surprise, turned out to be a decent cook. Tezuka was glad he did not have to eat take outs and microwaved food every dinner any more.

"Did you get 'the talk'?" Tezuka asked as he sat down at the dining table.

"Not yet. I have appointment with Etter tomorrow morning."

"Aa."

"What did Hildebert asked you?"

"Nothing. Just told me not to get too competitive and all that."

"What did you tell him?"

"What do you want me to tell him?"

Sanada placed his left hand over Tezuka's right. "Kitten, I just want to keep our story in line. You wouldn't want me to make a liar out of you, would you?"

"You all ready did." It was a flat statement, devoid of inflection.

Despite that, Sanada felt the uneasiness underlying that statement. "I'm sorry."

Tezuka sighed. "It's not ... I'm not accusing you ... Never mind. As far as my coach is concerned, it's just a convenient financial arrangement."

"It's true enough. It makes more sense to share expenses, among other things."

Tezuka coughed uncomfortably. "Let's just eat."

Tezuka stood sideways in front of the mirror. No matter how he turned his head, he could not see the mark on his back. He adjusted his glasses and pondered what to do about it. Then accepting it as nothing he could do, except to wait for it to fade naturally, he took off the rest of his clothes.

Sanada put away the last of the plates and headed for the bathroom. He could hear the shower from within. He opened the door and slipped in. Tezuka's figure was vaguely visible through the translucent glass panel that separated the shower from the rest of the room. He took a moment, like he always did, to enjoy the blurry silhouette of shapely arms and curved back. Then, he quickly strip away his clothes. He snagged a green tube from the bottom drawer. He liked the way the mint flavour made his kitten purr.

He remembered the first time Tezuka finally realised what was required of him. He had just gotten Tezuka comfortable with kissing and touching with hands. He had brushed his finger lightly over Tezuka's entrance, then pressed a finger lightly. Tezuka jumped like a scalded cat and barricaded himself in the bathroom. Then, he avoided Sanada for two whole days.

On the third day, Tezuka showed up at his door with a red face and a discrete brown paper bag. "I ... um ... did some research," he said, after Sanada closed the door. "It's ... ah ... Is there another way?"

"You can top. I don't mind."

"No, that's not what I meant." Tezuka was not able to meet his eye. "It's the procedure ... it's dirty!" He blurted out in shock indignation. Then, looking rather embarrassed at his outburst, he add, "I mean it's unsanitary."

Sanada resisted the urge to groan. "Sex is a messy activity. You want to back out?"

Tezuka gave him an exasperated look. Of course not. He was Tezuka Kunimitsu. He did not back out of anything.

"What do you have in the bag then?"

"Some things recommended by ... never mind. Do you mind if we bathe first?"

"Why?"

"If we are going to put things in our mouth and wherever, I'd prefer them to be clean."

So, Tezuka was going to go through with it. Even after 'research'. Well, Sanada wanted to see how far he could push Tezuka's resolve. "Let me watch you."

Tezuka only shrugged his indifference. He let Sanada watch him strip, then followed him into the shower. He had to keep reminding himself it was just like an onsen, minus the little white towels. Sanada was less self-conscious of his own nudity.

Since that day, the shower had become a ritual foreplay for Sanada. And Tezuka, being Tezuka, left the door unlocked as an open invitation. He only locked the door when he did not want Sanada in there. Sanada had to learn the silent language that was Tezuka's first language.

Tezuka could not help noticing the way Sanada's muscles bunched and slid under his skin. Sanada was more heavily muscled than he was. His body thicker and broader. His triceps and abdominal muscles were clearly defined. Despite being only 1 cm taller than himself, Sanada out-weighed him by 10 kilos. No, 12 kilos now, after Sanada had started advanced muscle building. And it showed.

Sanada, on the other hand, liked the lean build. Tezuka was actually underweight. So much so, he was the only one not under any kind of diet, much to the envy of their peers. He was beautiful, with lean muscles and long sinews that the edges of his bone stood out in sharp relief. His shoulder blades outlined against his skin like little wings. He was just rinsing himself off, his back turned to Sanada. Sanada kissed the other unmarked corner of his wing.

"Don't." Tezuka pulled away slightly.

"You don't like it?"

"No. It's just ..." He paused to take a deep breath. "You left a mark last time."

"Does it hurt?"

"Look. You know my history. My arms and shoulders get scrutinised more than anyone else in the institute. If you leave a mark, there will be questions I'd rather not answer."

"Or lie about." Now Sanada knew why Tezuka was upset.

"Aa."

"Then it's all right, if I leave a mark no one else can see."

"Wh ...! Aah ..."

Sanada knelt down and bit Tezuka in the left cheek. Then licked and sucked the love bite. "I'm quite certain no one would look down here. Or I shall kill him for sexual harassment."

Tezuka coloured. "I can stand up for myself."

"I know. But I don't like to share."

Tezuka closed his eyes. Who was he kidding. Neither of them were the easiest people to get along with. And some things, he was not willing to compromise on. He valued his independence and autonomy. And he did not like Sanada's possessiveness. "You don't have to be so hostile to other people. Especially on my behalf."

"Hostile? You mean that yellow monkey?"

"His name is Edvard."

"I don't like him standing so close to you and touching you."

"He is just like Kikumaru. He doesn't mean anything by it. Eventually, he would get the idea and ..." Tezuka stopped himself. Sanada's expression had turned black. "Are you jealous?"

Sanada could not meet his eyes and turned aside, moving out of the range of his myopic focus.

"Gen."

"I am not you. I can't just ... detach."

Tezuka sighed. No, Sanada did not so much detach as repel everyone. "You are not making things easy for yourself." Evard's perception of Sanada as threatening and hostile was not unique. Only Tezuka and a few of the coaches were not affected by his scowls and intensity.

"I don't have your kind of popularity. People like you. They are attracted to you like magnet."

"It's not popularity ..." Tezuka stopped a moment to ponder. "Maybe it was a Rikkai thing."

"What?"

"Every time you step into the court, you dominate it. It's overwhelming. It makes them feel threatened with physical or mental harm. Even though it's just tennis."

"Do you feel that way too? Threatened?"

"No. I know I can handle you." It would have sounded arrogant, coming from anyone. Sanada was the toughest player there. Strength and speed were a potent combination.

"What do you mean then, by Rikkai thing? Are you saying my school team act like a bunch of thugs?"

Tezuka tilted his head. "No. It's just ... subconsciously, people feel uncomfortable. The style of tennis Rikkai plays ... harms the opponents in some way."

Sanada blinked, not quite understanding where Tezuka was going with this.

"The most obvious, look at Kirihara's style."

"Violent and impulsive. But he was the only one that plays like that."

"He was actually the most obvious and least threatening. Yukimura was ... more deadly. Yanagi too. It's the attitude. Like a form of psychological attack that affects the person. But the harm carries over, outside the court. Despair is worse than just losing a match, Gen. That's what frightened them. That somehow, when it was over, they won't be the same person they were. Something broke inside."

"I do that too?"

"You remembered your match last week with Reiser?"

Sanada blinked. He played as he normally did, finishing the match with 6-0, 6-0 without dropping a point.

"Reiser was a wreck after that and he wanted to quit tennis. I am not saying you did it on purpose. But you carry that potential and it shows. It makes you threatening and unapproachable." Tezuka blinked to himself. Like pot calling kettle. He was quite unapproachable himself. Maybe it took a pot to understand the kettle.

Well, Reiser was a fool with overblown ego. And Sanada did not suffer fools gladly. Neither did Tezuka. But at least, Tezuka did not look like he would maim the fool that crossed his path. Tezuka just detached himself, like a cicada shedding skin. The fool left feeling a harmless fool. Sanada was more like a porcupine, armed to the teeth and trigger-sensitive. He shot to kill and he did not even notice anyone or anything in the crossfire.

But Tezuka's policy was, as long as it wasn't his business, he stayed out of it. Reiser was Coach Etter's problem and Reiser pretty much deserved what he got. Sanada, got the reputation he deserved too, though it did not seem to bother him.

But since Sanada and him started this ... relationship, Sanada had been pricklier than ever to the people who worked with Tezuka. It became Tezuka's problem. Something he could no longer ignore. He did not want to bring this up, but he would not keep quiet when Sanada was encroaching on his ground, no matter how well intentioned. He was his own person, and he did not appreciate being treated like a glass flower.

"Gen," he said. "Let me fight my own battles. Don't alienate the people I have to work with. It's also easier on you if you don't alienate other people around you."

"Kunimitsu." Sanada rested his forehead on Tezuka's shoulder. He never realised how difficult he made Tezuka's position within his own group. Isolating Tezuka from everyone else, like he had isolated himself. There were precious few who could bear his company. And those few lasted long enough to make regulars in Rikkai.

Maybe that was the difference between them. Despite Tezuka aloofness, people were attracted to him. Like moths to a flame. And Tezuka was a brightly burning inferno.

Even he felt that attraction. That was why he could not stay away. He wanted to touch the flame that was Tezuka. Perhaps, like everyone else, they were subconsciously drawn to it. That dancing sparkling fire. They reached for him, hoping ... hoping for what? No one entered the court with Tezuka and left unscathed. Unchanged. Sanada thought Tezuka was very like Yukimura that way. Perhaps, they were all looking for something from Tezuka.

Maybe, they were looking for a miracle, to heal the invisible wounds they carry. They knew they would get burned. They knew it would hurt like hell, but they eagerly sought it anyway. He eagerly sought it anyway. Perhaps, subconsciously, he knew, despite the burning pain, it also heals the broken part inside him. The fire that cauterises the wound so it may heal.

That, Sanada thought, was the fundamental difference between them. And their tennis. And their relationship.

OMG! I hope Sanada is not too OOC. It ended up a character analysis between the two. It was supposed to be light and funny. Somehow, it ended up serious, angsty and heavy.