Vanishing Point

by Faraway Dawn

In all humans there is a point within the mind where our memories begin to naturally fade, a vanishing point so to say. The only real problem is that his "vanishing point" seems to be much closer than it should be to the surface of the mind."

2. Slipping Away

Vanishing Point

By: Faraway Dawn

Disclaimer: Yeah here I am yet again…I have told you all this at least 13 or so times I don't own Gundam Wing…I am just taking the characters for a bit of a joy ride. Besides, if I owned Gundam Wing you would know…and...Well...I would be rich...

I also do not own the poem that appears in this fic. A friend of mine wrote it and it fit in wonderfully with the story. Therefore, Cyllwen thanks much! I told you I would give ya the credit for it.

Haha anyway on with the fic...It has been a while since I updated anything.

CHAPTER1

Slipping Away

Quatre listened silently to Noin as she informed him about Zechs's condition. "You say he is getting worse? The doctor said there was no hope of recovery?" He asked her quietly, making certain to keep his voice steady and calm so that he would not cause her to panic.

"That's right…" Noin answered walking slowly down the sidewalk back to her apartment. Their apartment…they had been living together for about a week and then, then he started acting weird, different, perhaps just a bit more distant than usual. She noticed it got worse. He had even forgotten her name one day. Her recovered quickly from that incident but it got worse. Each day it happened after that. His little memory lapses caused her great concern. Why was it that he was forgetting? Why was it…that everything he was forgetting…had something to do with …her? "It seems like everything he is forgetting…has to do with me."

Quatre thought about her words. If Zechs was forgetting everything to do with her, then perhaps it was a bit more than simple amnesia. "What is it you need my help with? Tell me. I will help." Anyone could see how much she loved Zechs, even if Zechs himself had not seen it as quickly. Perhaps Trowa had been the first to notice….and he was the first to point out, rather bluntly according to Heero, that she would do anything for Zechs. Quatre had seen for himself what she had done in the Sanct Kingdom. She had defended it, protected Releena, and could very well have died doing it. She defined devotion as well as love.

"I need to know where Trowa is." She said clearly. "He suffered and recovered from amnesia…with help…maybe…just maybe he can help me. Maybe he knows something that will help me help Zechs." She paused and considered what she had just said. "I know that it sounds naïve…maybe even foolish, but you see Quatre, I need to know why, I need to help him, and I think I am the only one who can."

Quatre agreed with her and began to look through a small notebook. He was, if anything, the information center of the Gundam Pilots. "Alright, Trowa, it seems he is currently heading for the L2 colonies…probably the one Duo and Hilde are on. The circus is scheduled to arrive there in about an hour. You could make it if you take one of the last flights out. You are in the new Mars colony aren't you?"

Noin nodded to herself. "Yeah…I didn't really want to leave the colony though…" And with good reason. What if Zechs got better while she was gone or…what if he had gotten worse?

"Would you like me to contact him? I am sure he wouldn't mind going to your colony." Quatre laughed slightly. "Trowa had expressed concerns about Duo showing up every night at the circus…he said he was worried Duo would make more money than the circus…with his antics."

Noin laughed softly. Yes, Duo was the jokester of the Gundam Pilots but he was the perfect one to talk to when you just needed to be cheered up. "Understandable. Could you do that for me Quatre? I really need him to see Zechs before I know if he will be able to help."

Quatre smiled and sent an e-mail to Trowa. "Sure…consider it done."

Trowa looked slowly through his mail. Nothing special really. He noted. Duo and Hilde were throwing a party….Good grief…Are they trying to destroy a colony?

Wufei and Sally were back from their mission and were celebrating Wufei's birthday. The image of Wufei grumbling while a lighted birthday cake was set in front of him and tons of people singing "Happy Birthday" in singsong voices made him laugh.

Then there was a message from Heero. Releena was going to be arriving on the colony later that week. If there was time, she wanted to stop by. Trowa knew that it was really Heero who wanted to stop by but it just was not his style to go saying 'I'd like to see you…lets talk, catch up, have some fun.'

Then there was an e-mail from Quatre. Trowa read it silently, then, midway through the first paragraph he froze. "Zechs has…amnesia?" He whispered before continuing. Noin want's my help…so...I guess she figures I can help because I had amnesia…but...I hardly remember it…it was like being in a thick cloud of fog... Trowa sent a message back to Quatre. He would do what he could, but he was not sure if he would be of any help.

After getting permission to leave, though he thought it was somewhat foolish being a former Gundam Pilot and asking for permission to go to another colony, he boarded the last flight to the new Mars colony. Noin would be at the hospital with Zechs. Trowa decided he would watch first, to see how Zechs reacted to things, check his medical records, and then try to get him to interact and remember him. The thought of failure crossed his mind. Noin would be devastated if this failed. If anything, she loved Zechs too much. He had always believed that her love for Zechs would either get her killed, or land her heart broken. He tried to push such thoughts from his mind. The last thing he needed to do was jinx the "operation" before it had begun.

Slipping

Slipping

Mine is slipping

My mask of crafted steel

I seem to fall as it hits the floor

I can't hide me anymore

Zechs sat in his bed watching the machines again. It was an odd place to say the least. Everything seemed to make noises. Nothing was quiet. He did not understand why. Everything seemed familiar to him yet, he was certain he had no idea where he was much less who he was. He looked out the window of his room. His bed was right next to it. Below…whatever the building he was in was called…. were what looked like stars, at first anyway. He saw them move too quickly to be stars. A city…I think… He watched the lights move below, some growing brighter and some fading into the distance. His eyes darted to the dark window on the other side of the room. The one who had been watching him was gone. He could sense it. He glanced at a man who came in wearing plain clothes and a white jacket. He was instructed to lie down and shut his eyes. The man would be testing...What did he call it?

"Yes your vitals seem to be fine… heart is good and strong, breathing is good, and it seems you are doing fine Mr. Merquise."

Merquise? Zechs stared at the man completely confused. He must be talking about me…there isn't anyone else in the room. "Me?" Zechs asked quietly.

"Yes. Your name is Zechs Merquise." The doctor said quietly to him. "You still do not remember do you?"

Remember what? What am I supposed to be remembering? Zechs simply shook his head. Itwould help if he knew what it was he was supposed to be remembering. "Sorry…" He said looking back out the window. "Everything is…kind of fuzzy."

The doctor made a note on his clipboard. At least he was speaking now. It was a sign of improvement. He knew that something was wrong, hence the apology. He also knew that he could not remember what was wrong with him. He had used the term "fuzzy"; often a good sign that the patient knows that there is something wrong with their mind or memories. "A nurse will come to check on you in a little while. She will just check your vitals…pulse, heart, lungs, everything I just did." The doctor stopped however at the dazed look on the patient's face.

"Everything…you just…did?" Zechs asked the tone of pure confusion in his voice. "When did you come in?"

The young doctor was at a loss for words. Not many cases, hardly any were this severe. He had already forgotten something that had happened only a few minutes before, and not only that, he did not have the flash of recognition in his eyes that most patients have when they recognize something, the white jacket, or the nametag. Zechs again had no idea where he was…or why. "Someone…will be in to check on you in awhile." The doctor said calmly and left the room without another word. He glanced at the young woman watching Zechs silently. "We told you…there really isn't much we can do…"

"I know" She answered and walked slowly into the room.

Stop

Stop the cameras

The real me is too weak to see

I can't let you know

Noin walked quietly to his bedside and sat slowly in the chair that was next to it. "Hello…Zechs." She said softly watching as he turned his head slowly to her. His eyes were so blank, lost, and empty; they were not the eyes that she knew. They were the eyes of a broken man. They eyes of one who had finally fallen beyond reach. They replaced the eyes filled with life, wisdom, courage, and passion.

It caused her pain to see his beautiful eyes that way. It caused her pain to see him that way. To see the man she loved so lost and confused…it brought tears to her eyes. She looked down at the blankets and forced them down. Tears would not help the situation. In fact, tears would only confuse him further.

Finally, he answered. His voice soft even a bit frightened. "Are you the one here to check on me? They said…I think they said someone would be in to check on me." He watched the woman nod her head yes.

"My name is Lucrezia…" She watched for the signs of recognition. They never came so she continued. "I am here to watch over you until you fall asleep. If you would like…I can stay longer though." She was surprised to see him nod.

"I would…like that. The other people…they just leave me in here alone…you are the first one who has offered to stay." Zechs said glancing out the window. Whoever the woman was, she was beautiful. She seemed familiar, just like everything else; unfortunately, just like everything else, it was impossible for him to remember how and why she was familiar. "Lu...Lucrezia…was it?"

"That's right." Noin answered watching his movements. Slow and cautious, just like the old Zechs.

"Your voice…I think…I have heard it somewhere." But where? Where did I hear it? Why does her voice sound familiar? Why do I feel calm with her in here and since I feel calm, why is my heart pounding? He slowly looked at her. "I have...seen those eyes before."

Noin's heart leapt at the notion. He might be remembering. He might be getting better. Everything would be ok. Then…she watched in pain as he lifted his hand to his forehead, shook his head slightly, and asked her to repeat her name. Again, he had slipped away from her.

How I feel

How I feel

Confused

Haunted and alone

Strange faces flow past my window

Her eyes looked so sad as he asked her quietly to repeat her name. She softly whispered "Lucrezia" through what he knew to be tears.

"I…didn't mean to make you cry…" He said quietly looking down. "It…it just gets so hard…it seems to get worse…" For some odd reason…it gets worse when I look at you…

"It's alright Zechs…don't worry about it." Noin said quietly wiping her eyes. When she looked at him for a moment…Zechs was there again. She could see the fire in his eyes and again she watched as it vanished. She prayed that Trowa would get there soon…before he was lost forever.

Zechs lay down slowly and watched her. Something about her…perhaps it was her eyes…made him feel at peace. She had gentle eyes. Eyes that seemed to radiate the warmth he sensed from her. How long had it been since he had seen eyes like that? He was not sure. Her eyes are like jewels…they sparkle…perhaps that sparkle I am seeing though…is her tears…like stars against the violet velvety sky… His own thoughts amused him. Since when have I been a poet? He watched her write something in a notebook. Words that looked familiar to him. Releena, Heero, Trowa, Quatre, Wufei, Duo, Hilde, Dorothy, Une, Treize, Noin, Sally… and after that, a long list of names he did not recognize. For some reason…the first twelve on the list seemed to call to him. Without thinking, he spoke one of the names. "Lucrezia Noin…that's you…right?"

Noin stopped and looked at him. She had not told him her last name was Noin. All she had told him was Lucrezia. Something in him told him that her last name was Noin. Something in him just knew, at least, she hoped so anyway.

She nodded. He felt happy. He had remembered…somehow that she was Lucrezia Noin. Now…can I remember until morning? He hoped so. Her tears had, for some odd reason, caused him pain.

Noin waited until Zechs had fallen asleep before looking to the door and nodding for the person watching to come in. "Thanks for coming Trowa…"

"No problem…he seems to like having you near…but…"

"The closer I am to him the worse he seems to get…" She gently pushed Zechs's bangs out of his face.

"Perhaps then his recession is more than just simple amnesia…if it all is linked some how to…to you…then you are the one that will have the answers as to how we help him recover. If you would like me to stay and help…I will." Trowa said quietly. Zechs, though at one point he had been an enemy, was now a friend, and more than that, there was someone who needed him. He glanced at Noin as she gently took Zechs's hand and held it. "You really do love him very much…don't you?"

She nodded and glances at Trowa with a sad smile. "Yes. Ever since the day I met him…I knew he was the only one for me…" She looked back at Zechs and shut her eyes. "He only told me he loved me once…" Trowa watched silently as tears formed in her eyes and slowly slid down her cheeks. "…two days before he completely forgot me…" Trowa was silent. He had no words of comfort to offer. He had never been in that situation.

"I will help you however I can…"

"Thanks Trowa…" Noin watched Zechs shift slightly in his sleep and prayed silently that he was not being plagued by nightmares.

I steel myself against the cold

I plow through the drifting snow

A speck on the white is all I am

I don't even feel like a man

It was dark, wherever he was. He heard people's voices but could not see the people. Slowly, he walked forward and shielded his eyes as light flooded his view. There were people hundreds and thousands of them. All of them walked by him. It was as though he were simply part of the crowd. He walked through them, feeling odd, feeling different. Then he saw her. That same woman who he had seen only….how long ago was it? She was standing in the center of the crowd and he fought to get closer to her. However, the closer he got, the farther away she seemed. He ran faster but she kept slipping from his view. Who was the woman he was chasing after? Why did she keep disappearing…and…Why do I feel like I am the one who is disappearing? Zechs awoke suddenly and looked around. The room was silent and she was asleep in the chair, her hand in his. Who…who…is she? He tried to think but her name would not come to him. He vaguely remembered seeing the woman cry and vaguely remembered asking her name again. But what is her name? Why can't I remember it?

He silently cursed his memory. The least it could do was work properly when he needed it to. Zechs watched the woman sleep silently. He felt broken. Gently, he brushed the woman's raven colored bangs away from her face and felt his mind freeze again. It was happening and this time it was worse…

Cracking

Cracking

Mine is cracking

My mask of painted glass

I seem to split as it shatters

Nothing is as it seems anymore

AN: WELL…That's all for now! Man this took me awhile. Must get back to working on Mortal Fear. Juggling two fan fictions is not easy. I don't know how some people can do it. Heh and some people do more don't they? Gosh …oh well check up on this! I don't know when I will be done with the next chapter.

Major thanks to all the reviewers so far….if it weren't like…1 AM...I would do individual messages to you but I so need some sleep. So perhaps next time. Later all and good night…or...Morning…or day depending on when you are reading this -