Matt is in a long time relationship.
A realtionship?! Nnnno fucking way you shit monger.
But yes. He is in relationship with his beard.
"Good morning beard," Matt said.
"BITCH DONT WAKE ME UP HOLY SHIT ARE YOU CRAZY I NEED MY BEAUTY SLEEP," the beard whispered.
"Ok honey. Can we fuck?"
"HELL YEAH."
Then Matts dick flew into his beard and proceeded to fuck it.
"OH EYAH I LIKE THAT."
"Me too."
He then came and so did his beard. The smell of estromattgen hung heavy in the air.
Then Matt was about to take a shower but his beard was all like, "NO BITCH I WANT YOUR CUM TO STAY ON ME 5EVA."
And after 5 weeks of not showering Matt got a blatter infection.