Here's the newest chapter. Guess who this one is about? Go on, guess! You'll never get it!
Levy and Lucy frowned as they inspected the post that had been sent to Fairy Tail. It was full of colour, despite featuring a mixture of crowns and skulls in its imagery.
"'The Soul King, newest musical sensation!'" Lucy read out loud. She turned to Levy. "Have you heard of any 'Soul King'?"
The Script Mage 'hmmm'd loudly. "I think I heard some people talking the other day. He's only done one show, but apparently everyone fell in love with him. Look at this." She pointed at the large caption on the lower half, beneath the crown bearing skull, which oddly enough had an afro. Obviously, this was just some personal image the Soul King liked to use. Levy leaned down, bringing her chest close to the table. " 'Magnolia! Number One Concert! TONIGHT! BE THERE!'" amazingly she managed to pronounce the capitals. "Want to see what it's like? Look, the tickets are pretty cheap."
The blonde girl mulled it over. "I guess so. We just got back, so I've got a little cash to spare." She brightened. "Want to go get the tickets now and do a little shopping on the way?"
Laughing lightly at her friend's joyous expression, Levy nodded. Just that moment, the imposing figure that was Gajeel passed behind Lucy on his way to the bar. He, like Lucy's team, had just returned from a job. A thought occurred to her. "Gajeel, you just got back from a request in Hargeon, right?"
He nodded, glancing at them curiously. His eyes started to wonder down to the poster. They might even have actually noticed what was on it if Levy's breasts had not been hovering a few inches above it. There was an internal battle as he fought the rush of blood to his cheeks; "Uh, yeah. Why?" he asked to distract himself. Lucy eyed him suspiciously, noticing what Levy did not. There was just a hint, the tiniest mote possible, of red on his face.
"Did you hear anything about this guy?" Levy asked, pointing down at the poster presumably completely unaware of anything what else might be of interest to the Dragon Slayer in that direction.
Gajeel forced himself to look past Levy's breasts and take stock of what was actually on the poster before she moved and he got distracted. All, or at least the vast majority, thoughts of attractive bookworms were blasted from his head and his face twisted for a moment as it tried to decide what emotion would best be suited to what he saw. It chose irritation. Grunting, he stepped back. "No." He muttered gruffly, making to stomp off.
Unfortunately for him, both girls had all too little trouble working out that he might not be telling the truth. Levy jumped over the table and grabbed his wrist before he could get further away. "Come on, you must have heard something!"
Turning back to scowl at her to get off him, Gajeel paused. She was pouting. Levy was pouting. At him. Very close. He tried to step away, but she held firm. "Uh, not really." He muttered, looking away.
Her pout intensified, if such a thing were possible, and it almost seemed like her eyes grew larger and wetter as she softly asked "Gajeel, please tell me."
Gajeel flinched, cursing inside his head. He could lie to Master Ivan flawlessly, why the hell could he not just deceive this little blue haired slip of a girl he once beat up and cruci-
He managed to avoid actually showing it, but his mind winced at the thought. It really was possible for it not to come to mind and this time proved to be the deciding vote. "Fine." he said quietly in defeat, letting her pull him back to the table. Lucy watched, doing her best to keep from giggling or laughing hysterically. Gajeel glared at her over Levy's head, but it failed to pierce her humour fuelled defences.
"So, tell us what you heard!" Levy commanded brightly when she was sitting opposite him, smiling happily.
It only occurred to Gajeel later that he did exactly what she asked without thinking about it. "He's some weird musician. Some talent guys heard him when they passed the bar he was playing in. When the fight was over, they were all over him to get him to sign up with them. The guy's g- meant to be good." He shrugged. "Pretty weird as well. That's all I know." For some reason, he tensed slightly.
"Fight?" Lucy asked incredulously. "He was playing in a bar? Why would he do that if he's so good?"
"I don't know." Gajeel snapped. "Go to the concert and ask him yourself."
Levy tapped her chin, looking at Gajeel. "Gajeel..."
"Yeah?" he managed, in a close approximation to his usual voice. She was pouting again!
His expression became shifty when he heard her next question. "Were you at the bar?"
Gajeel tried his best. "Course I wasn't. I was doing the job, ask Lily." The last he said rather defensively.
She continued to scrutinise him, now with an expression that clearly said she was in no way fooled. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't the request to replace a bouncer while he was ill?" she asked triumphantly.
The Dragon Slayer just gave up at this point. "Listen, I just don't wanna think about it! Can you just leave it alone?" the fact he was asking and not roaring it as a command was testament to his self-control.
The girls exchanged glances before smiling widely and looking back at him. Gajeel had the inexplicable urge to try burying his head in sand. Before either would actually say anything, something extremely odd happened.
The doors burst open and something multicoloured burst through, moving at high speed. There was a muffled thump as Gajeel hit the floor and rolled under the table. Seconds behind him but half a room away, Pantherlily dived from his seat on the bar, leaping to the ground next to Mirajane behind it. The colourful blur landed on the table nearest the door, and stood to its full height.
"Greetings, Fairy Tail! I am looking for a man called Gajeel and a cat called Pantherlily! Are they here?" the brightly dressed man asked loudly. He wore a yellow feather boa over a fancy black coat, reaching down to his orange, flower covered flare pants. Atop a frankly magnificent afro sat a yellow hat with a crown around the centre's brim. He held a green, shark themed guitar and a cane hung from his elbow. It was simple so much to take it, it took several seconds for the mages staring at him to realise the tall man was also a skeleton.
Levy glanced at the table, Gajeel was concealing himself under. Trying not to attract attention, she dropped down to join him. The look on his face was somewhere between 'likely to attack the first person that entered visual range' and 'oh fuck, not him'.
"What are you doing, why are you hiding?" she whispered.
"Shut up! He'll find me!" Gajeel hissed back.
"Who will?"
"That bastard out th-" the Dragon Slayer's jaw snapped shut as he realised two very important things. The first was that Levy had not opened her mouth, and the second was that the voice which had asked was whispering loudly enough for the whole room to hear and was decidedly unfeminine; so, three things really. Gajeel watched Levy's gaze slid onto something behind him and freeze.
The skeleton looked between the pair curiously. "Gajeel-san, do you sneak under tables with young ladies often?" he asked innocently. Both faces went red.
"DAMN IT!" Gajeel stood, taking the table with him. His fingers dug into it, and he pivoted on the stood. Holding it above the skeleton, who was watching him raptly, he let go.
"YAAAAAA!" the skeleton screamed as it fell on him. Contrary to his screams of panic, the skeleton gracefully dodged it. The poster fluttered high into the air. "Gajeel-san, you should be more careful. You nearly knocked my brains out..."
"Although I don't have a brain since I'm skeleton! Skull joke! ~Yohohoho!~" the skeleton laughed loudly at his own horrible joke as the rest of the room's occupants sweat-dropped and Gajeel growled. Mirajane glanced down at Lily, who shuddered.
Gajeel panted as he wracked his brain for ideas. He saw Lucy, wearing a completely confused expression as she tried to catch up what was going on. To be fair, it was weird even by Fairy Tail standards. "Oi, boney!" she was brought back to reality as Gajeel grabbed her, holding the celestial mage up with a fist around each of her upper arms. He dropped her in front of him and leapt away, charging towards the bar.
There was a moment of silence as Lucy stared up into the undead creature's horrifyingly empty eye sockets which nonetheless seemed to glimmer with intellect. The tall being loomed over her, and she was certain Gajeel had just killed her. She felt her knees begin to give. The skeleton opened its mouth, the empty, tooth framed hole filling Lucy's vision and then...
The skeleton bowed. "Excuse me miss, may I see your panties?" he asked with completely uncalled for gentlemanliness, given what exactly he was asking for.
She stared for a moment, not sure what was going on. "WHAT?" she screamed, leaping away.
With an air of infinite patience, he asked again "May I see your panties?"
"NO!" Lucy scurried away, hiding behind another table. She glared at it over the top of the table. "Who asks that? What are you?"
"Oh!" the skeleton acquired the air of someone who just committed a grave social error. "How rude of me!" he bowed to the room at large. "I am Brook. A pleasure to meet you all, I am very sorry for not introducing myself when I entered. I pride myself on my manners." He said it politely and with complete sincerity. Brook turned to Levy, who had managed to stand shakily. "Excuse me miss, may I see your panties?"
"No!" Jet and Droy appeared from nowhere, landing between their teammate and Brook. "We won't let you touch her!" "Stay away from Levy!" they glared up at him
Brook looked between them. "Ah!" he exclaimed. "I know who you two must be."
"Huh?"
"Really?" Their expressions relaxed and they dropped their guard as they pondered on the fact that obviously he had heard Shadowgear's reputation.
"Yes! Fish-head and Freak-hat!" Brook's beamed at them as the pair slumped with matching expressions of depression. He looked close at Levy. "Which means you must be...bookworm!" he declared with satisfaction as he remembered.
Levy blinked up at him. On the whole, she was in a state of bewilderment. Most people would be, if a talking, brightly dressed skeleton with a guitar had burst into your home away from home, asked to see your underwear, called by a nickname used by one of the most fearsome people you knew politely all the while said fearsome person hid behind a bar muttering darkly and gathering knives. Not that Levy actually knew about the knives yet. Her manners kicked in and a hand reached out.
"I'm Levy McGarden, nice to meet you."
"The pleasure is mine." Brook took her hand and shook it vigorously. "I've not seen such beauty in my life...but I'm dead! SKULL JOKE!" he threw his head back and laughed his 'Yohohoho' at the ceiling in hilarity.
Brook's personal amusement came to an abrupt halt as Gajeel came to his feet and Pantherlily activated his Battle Mode Shift. Each was armed to the teeth with kitchen knives and various sharp metal implements, in Gajeel's case literally holding a number in his mouth.
"NO. MORE. SKULL. JOKES!" they shouted, Gajeel spilling knives as he did so.
"Hmm? Ah, Pantherlily-san! A pleasure to- AH!" Brook broke off his greeting as he approached, leaping aside to avoid the knives flung at him. "YAAAA!" he cried as the pair began to send wave after wave of knives at him. Despite his cries of panic, the undead musician nimbly dodged every knife, dancing towards the bar through the deadly torrent without pause. His footwork was amazing, and more than a few mages found themselves focusing on his rapidly tapping feet. Brook swayed and duck as he slowly made his way to them. "Look out; you might poke my eye with those...except I don't have eyes! SKULL JOKE!"
"SHUT UP!" Gajeel and Lily roared. The guild just watched, even Makarov staring in astonishment. Gajeel was acting strangely, as was incredibly obvious, but so was Pantherlily. The Exceed had shown himself to be a wholly collected, calm individual who generally controlled his emotions. And here he was, frantically throwing knives at a talking, walking, dancing skeleton while demanding it stop making horrible jokes.
"God, you're so annoying!" Gajeel shouted at the skeleton. "Did we lose you back in Hargeon?"
"Ah ah ah." Brook wagged a finger at them as he continued to dodge the attacks. "I have not yet repaid you! I promised to, and I have never broken a promise in my life! Oh, wait..."
"Don't you dare!" Pantherlily spat.
"I'M NOT ALIVE! SKULL JOKE! Yohohoho!"
Gajeel and Pantherlily both froze, shuddering horribly. "I. Am going. To kill. You." Gajeel ground out.
Lily's eye's widened. "Gajeel, you fool, he'll-"
"Too late! I'm already dead! SKULL JOKE!"
"ARRGH!"
Suddenly, something about Brook changed. You couldn't really say it was his expression, what with him having no face (SKULL JOKE! YOHOHOH- Hey! Get out of my narrative! Damn shoddy 4th wall), but simply his manner, his stance.
"Gajeel-san, Pantherlily-san, I must repay your aid! I gave a promise, and I will not recant it!" Brook said with an air of finality.
The Dragon Slayer shook his head. "Dammit man, you're making too much. It was just a promise while drunk – don't even get me started on how a damn skeleton gets drunk in the first place – don't worry about it." He made a dismissive gesture. "Just leave it. I ain't accepting, and you sure as hell can't wait forever for me to give in can you."
Brook considered that. "Me, wait to fulfil a promise?" he chuckled, a low 'yohohoho'. "Gajeel-san, I waited alone, surrounded by the bodies of my nakama, on a ship adrift in the mists for fifty years. I waited, despite the torture of isolation, for a promise." Gajeel's brow furrowed, perplexed by the sudden, low, serious tone of voice he would never believe the insane musician would be capable of. The skeleton bowed his head silently for a moment, and the entire guild fell silent with him. It felt somehow...wrong to violate that mournful silence.
Faster than anyone could see, Brook moved. He was eye-to-socket with Gajeel, who tried to jerk back in surprise only to find a bony hand gripping his shirt. "Do not think me a man who cannot live up to his promises. Death has not stopped me, nothing will! I do not break my promises!" the last was said in a loud, hoarse voice. "I will wait for as long as I end, if I must wait forever."
Gajeel stared at the skeleton, with no idea what to do. This was totally beyond him. Not the skeleton part, he had gotten over that. The...emotional part. Later, part of his mind would note he had not thought the word 'emotional' with quite the same disgust and awkwardness he once had.
At last, he mumbled "F-fine." Awkwardly pulling himself free, he tried to retain his dignity. Brook withdrew his hand slowly. Watching, the guild remained silent as they thought about what Brook had said. Was that true? Fifty years, along with only the corpses of your loved ones for company?
"Good." Brook said quietly. He stepped back and...clapped? "Bring in the gifts!" he shouted, and suddenly the door burst open as large men with the look of furniture movers walked in. A pair of girls in glitterly, big feathered outfits turned up on either side of Brook. He waved a hand as the men started dropping their many burdens in front of Gajeel and Pantherlily, who were as shocked as the rest of the guild. Two men began wheeling in a rack with a dozen brightly coloured shirts.
The skeleton waved a hand at the items, and a small, balding man in a shiny suit was wheeled out on a podium, smiling to the folks at ho- the people around. "Today, we have many special gifts for Gajeel-san and Pantherlily-san! First up is this lovely set of silver cutlery from the Land of Isvan, worth 200,000 Jewels!" One of the show girls thrust the box into Gajeel unsuspecting hands, his jaw hanging open. Makarov was nearly having a heart attack, Natsu's head was darting back and forth as he tried to take in everything they were bringing out as the strange little man kept talking. "Next is the wonderful masterfully crafted communication lacrima, with still-shot functions, visual recording and music functions! This is a genuine Sharn hang-glider, with ten years warranty. Here comes a set of a dozen colourful shirts with a number of prints, made from everything from mageweave to runecloth, frostweave, felcloth, mooncloth, netherweave, embersilk and more! Now this little piece is a real-"
Soon Gajeel and Pantherlily founded themselves being buried alive but gifts. In a classic display of guild solidarity, the mages of Fairy Tail had descended on the piles of gifts to rummage, many explaining as they found something amazing.
Bursting through the pile of gifts, Gajeel drew in a breath to shout when he felt something flow around him. He wasn't sure what had happened until his shirt, slice neatly into pieces, fell to the ground.
"Oh my, how did that happen?" Brook pondered, waving his drawn sword in the air perilously next to Gajeel. "Good thing there's these gift shirts for you! Ladies!" he snapped his fingers and Gajeel found himself locked in conflict, many mages pausing their dives into the slowly building sea of random gifts to watch Gajeel flail as he tried to stop himself from being dressed in a largely teal shirt splashed with orange and red. Finally, he lost but at least he was able to shoo them off via picking up the show girls and tossing them away before they could try buttoning it up. Gajeel drew in a deep breath.
"HOLD THE FUCK UP!" he roared. Everyone, even the movers and the shiny little man. Gajeel panted from the force of using all the air in his lungs. "Ok, seriously, fuck, this is way too fuckin' much. Take it back!" he snarled at Brook angrily.
The skeleton sedately wondered over a table, sitting down calmly. "Hmm..." he tapped his chin. He lifted his hand, finger pointing up in an expression of realisation before going back to tapping his chin.
A minute pasted.
Gajeel twitched, and was about to start shouting again when Brook stood, chest puffed out...or at least giving that impression, lacking an actual chest to puff (SKULL J- oh no you fuckin' don't! I'm writing this!). He took a great, heaving breath and everyone waited suspense so thick you could cut it with Natsu's wit.
"No." He took a sip of tea, not noticing the fact everyone single person in the room had face-faulted.
"I'm gonna-" Gajeel began to threaten, but Brook lifted a warding finger and he found himself waiting.
"I will take the gifts back...on one condition. If you agree to keep the gifts, I will not go through with this condition." He informed Gajeel archly.
The Dragon Slayer considered this. While he was doing so, Pantherlily asked the obvious question. "What is this condition?" he inquired suspiciously.
Brook stood, strumming his guitar. "I will play a song."
"Ah..."
The skeleton kept going before anyone could point out that didn't seem so bad, "A song written in the middle of a drunken stupor, while bewailing certain things very loudly."
"What were you bewailing?" Jet asked from the sidelines.
"Huh?" Brook stared at the mage for a moment before realising what he meant; "Oh no. I wasn't the drunk one. Well, I was drunk but I didn't write it-"
It should be noted that at this point fragments of memory clawed their way to the surface of Gajeel's mind and he realised something very important.
"- Gajeel did." The skeleton pointed at Gajeel. In a stage-whisper, Brook said "He's good at writing songs, but not so good at singing."
"Oi, shut the hell up!" Gajeel shook a fist at the undead musician. Another memory bubbled up. This memory concerned the contents of that song, and Gajeel felt the blood drain from his face.
"What was it about?" Natsu asked, having unfortunately had one of his bouts of awareness and seen Gajeel's face.
Brook stroked his chin. "I believe it was called Le-
It was, by all accounts, a simply magnificent leap. Gajeel, propelled by the twin powers of desperations and embarrassment, launched himself through the air in a graceful, neigh, elegant arch that would put renowned acrobats to shame for centuries to come. Several mages were left rubbing their eyes, not quite sure what they had seen. It was, then, clearly far too amazing and beautiful to be put into mere words. Oh no, it could never be put down into written form. The closest could be the dead hieroglyphic language of a race of contortionist dancing energy-people who lived in six dimensions simultaneously and practised a religion based on the art of seduction via nostril-based lightning displays.
It would, in the years to come, be known as simply...The Leap! (Although in two centuries a radical artist would create painting inspired by ...The Leap! Of a iron studded gazelle leaping over a chasm, towards a smaller, blue-furred member of the species being menaced by a looming skeleton monster with an afro, as it happens)
The end result was a collection of beauty-blinded mages and Gajeel sitting over the now fallen skeleton musician, one large hand clamped over Brook's bony jaw.
"Stop...talking." he hissed, straightening for a moment to glare at the watching mages. "Alright, I'll keep this shit." He stood, jerking a thump back at the watching mages. "But I ain't got anywhere to keep it, so let the idiots take what they want."
There was stunned silence as Gajeel made his way through the pile, retrieving one or two items that looked like they had been made from proper, high-quality metal. "Lily, grab what ya want and let's get going. I've had enough of this weird shit."
Lily nodded, hiding his amusement. There wasn't much that interested him, but he found a few things. Ignoring any thanks several mages tried to say to him, although it was hard to ignore Elfman rearing up and shouting how Manly it was of him to share with the guild simply because of the sheer volume, Gajeel paused as he paused Brook,
"Hmm? Yes, Gaj-eeeeel~!" he trailed as Gajeel pulled his head closer, murmuring something before walking out.
After a moment, Natsu spoke up. "Guys, did Gajeel really just give us all this stuff?"
Trying not to squeal as she found a set of leather bound first edition Kemu Zelaon books, Lucy looked up. "I guess he did...I wonder why."
Before this could be discussed in-depth, Brook gained their attention with a few strums of his guitar. "I thought, completely on my own and entirely not told I should by Gajeel-san, that I might offer you all tickets to my concert tonight." He offered. They looked at him. He looked back. "Free buffet at the after-party?" he added.
"WOO! PARTY AT BROOK'S!" Natsu yelled.
"IF YOU'RE A MAN, PARTY HARD!"roared Elfman at full bellow.
While they were shouting, and eventually started doing silly things with some of the odder presents (Brook joining in rather quickly), Levy made her way to Lucy.
"Hey, Lu-chan...do you think...did Gajeel ask him to invite us all because he knew I- we wanted to go?" she asked. Lucy looked up from the book, frowning as she thought about it.
"I...I think that's...wow, maybe he did." The Celestial mage admitted.
The two stopped to ponder on this odd generosity from the surly Dragon Slayer.
It was at about that point that two people tried to take the same thing from the pile, and about five seconds later one of them broke a chair over the other's head.
In predictable Fairy Tail style, it devolved from there. On the bright side, it brought inspiration to Brook, and thus the song Brawling Fairies was born.
Hope you enjoyed it, I found I like writing Brook. He's odd and hilarious.
Not much else to say, except sorry to InuOtaku911 for taking so long to post this and thanks to the same for beta'ing.