Great…
It was Matthew's most HATED time of the year..
Christmas Eve, well he HATED Christmas and Christmas Eve in general.
The holidays' for Matthew Williams was the most coldest and loneliest times of the year. He usually spent them alone… His family members either usually forgot about him, or said they had other plans… It was usually the first, but it always happened. He HATED it. Really, he didn't see why everyone ignored him?
It just annoyed him so much some days… He's either ignored or mixed up with his brother…
He HATED it.
He got beat up for his brother's doings.
It drove him sometimes to the brink of insanity.
He never had his 'Perfect Christmas' before, and the young blond never had let it cross his mind that such a thing existed…. There was always something about this time of the year, it was so imperfect, so, cold and lonely. Maybe he was making to big of a deal about it? Maybe he wasn't making enough of a deal about the whole thing? Who knew? Matthew HATED not knowing.
Those times….
The ones that seemed so far gone,
They were the only thing, the only things that could keep Matthew remember the 'good days'.
The days when Alfred would spend more than five minutes playing with Matthew, without growing tired of him The times when Arthur wouldn't mistake Matthew for Alfred, or when Arthur didn't leave Matthew behind, because he had forgotten him. Then those few times Francis and him had picked up Matthew when he had fallen.
That was all gone now.
Disappeared. Vanished. Gone.
It hurt… and he HATED it.
Alfred always and still, put himself before Matthew, sometimes he would forget Matthew ever existed now. When was the last time he talked to his elder sibling? Several months ago? He had yet to receive a single Christmas card as well.. Arthur always thought Matthew was Alfred, when he was mistaking her for Alfred, he was talking about Alfred. It was always, always Alfred. Matthew HATED that. And Francis? He hadn't heard from him, since had no clue when. He had given Matthew away to Arthur so long ago, Matthew hardly remembered what the elder man had looked like.
Matthew couldn't remember how he had become so.. So invincible in other's eyes… He personally thought he was nice, caring and everything. Canada was most certainty a wonderful place to live, a little chilly every now and then, but it was beautiful and the country was fairly neutral as well. He didn't really have anyone on his bad side.
Then why?
Why was he ignored so much?
He HATED the fact that there was no explanation for all the 'whys' that grew inside.
So why was it that he found himself outside on such a horrid holiday? Why wasn't he home inside with the bear who name he couldn't remember and vice versa for the bear? He didn't know.. Though the coldness and the dark engulf him seemed to really fit the mood at that very moment. Matthew took a long breath of the chilling air, letting out a small cough at the coldness hitting him.
He had never wanted something to end so quickly as he did now, but then again, this is when it all came down, hard. He stared up into the sky, it was glittering with bright stars, Matthew just looked down at the slushy snow beneath his feet and trudged onwards.
That's all he ever seemed to do now, Trudge onwards.
He always HATED it so much.
HATED the fact he didn't have anything to look forward to….
Matthew let out a shiver, hugging himself tightly, holding back the tears that wanted to form… Glancing up, he had come to the park, the one him and his 'family' spent to much time at… the one he promised to never go back here. He didn't want the memories to come back, because.. He HATED those memories.
The Park lit up like every year… Empty like it seemed to be every day now, the same emptiness Matthew HATED. A freeze went past Matthew snow from the trees above, danced around Matthew, seeming to give him a push towards… Towards what? He didn't know. He noticed the water fountain, how beautiful it was this year… even when it wasn't this time of the year, Matthew was captivated by the beauty.. Yet it never did more then let his heart warm for a few moments..
He HATED this holiday more then the hollowness in his heart.