I've been writing this fic like mad. It doesn't really show,
considering that only the prologue and chapter 1 are finished, but
trust me, this has been taking a lot of my extra time.
Sailor Moon, its characters and their images are copyright yadda yadda
yadda yadda yadda you've heard it all before
Emerald Eyes - Chapter 1
---------------------------------------------------------------------
by The Legendary Redhawke
Journal Entry - January 17, 1999 (Second Part)
He took me to have some coffee with him, but it all seemed like so
much more than that, to me anyway. It was as if, as if he was me,
with his emotions, his thoughts, and everything else about him.
Everything seemed so perfect. I've never known perfection, but I
knew that this was it, that being by his side, for all my life would
be the perfection that I'd always craved, and that no matter what I
would do, this had to come first.
Before school, before my restaurant, and before any other semblance
of a life can come along, I have to have this. This is what I've
always sought out, never thinking for a minute that I would actually
have it, and I'll die before I let it go by for the sake of something
else, that everyone will try and convince me is far more important.
He's just "that guy" to everyone else, but to me, to me, he's just
something beyond words.
As I sat beside him in that coffeehouse, my mind just kept going over
the thought of it all, and the doubt laying latent. "You're just
kidding yourself," I thought to myself, "He doesn't love you."
I'd never even thought about "loving" him.
Here it was, the definitive decision that I had to make, the first of
many for this entire lofty dream of mine, but it seemed to be the
most important one for that moment. I shyed away. It was too soon,
too fast, and too much for a girl who has never known such a thing as
this "love." I sat there, and indulged myself in the moment, because
I knew that that was the only thing that I could be absolutely certain
of.
It was a beautiful moment indeed. We just sat and talked about our
lives up to that point. Everything we talked about just seemed to
make my life seem so meaningless and uneventful up until the point
that I had met him. I'm young though, so I never really thought that
my life could be considered definitive in any way. These seventeen
years just seemed like a pitiful little flash in the pan by comaprison.
This earth has only known me for this little time, and now it seems
like it has been even less. That's the only feeling that I hated when
I was with him. Everything else just kept uplifting me, as if there
was hardly a thing that could put my feet back onto the ground. I was
floating from my joy, the joy that he instilled in me.
I know it seems weird, I mean, because of his age. He's 24, and I
just turned 17 not that long ago. But, honestly, I don't think it
ever crossed my mind that it was a problem. Anyone that can make you
feel as good as he does me, deserves to be cherished, and...and...
loved? Am I really thinking that? He's sweet, and kind, and caring,
but I don't even know him really. How can I "love" someone that I just
met? How can I give in to my emotions when it's only been a couple of
hours?
I must be dillusional, or maybe....no, I have to be dillusional.
There's no other explanation for it. I must have hit my head or
something when I fell, and now I'm thinking far outside the realm of
reality.
We finished our coffee, and he offered to walk me home. I accepted of
course, but it saddened me that I would have to leave his company. I
just tried to think in the moment, and enjoy the walk through the park
to my apartment. Nevertheless, I couldn't help but worry about what
would happen after I got home. Was I ever going to see him again?
Did he even care about me? Was I just fooling myself this entire time?
When I saw the apartment, my mind sprang into a panic. Every single
question that I could have ever imagined came into my head, and they
were all being asked at the exact same time. I never had a chance to
answer a single one of them. I didn't want to speak, thinking that
maybe he wouldn't go if I just didn't say a word, that the moment
wouldn't end if I didn't let it. I couldn't help it though. I had to
speak, though I knew not what to say. So, I said the stupidest thing
ever:
"We're here."
I saw it right then. That look in his eyes. It was a look of....of
disappointment? He wanted to be with me? I nearly fainted when I saw
his eyes, those soft hazel eyes, seeming to cry out against the world,
saying, "Don't go." I tilted my head slightly to the side, and gave
him a soft smile. I wanted him to come inside, but I knew how wrong
that would have been. I wanted to be with him, but not "with" him.
I'm only 17 after all. I just can't, not this young.
He spoke, and put my heart at ease, "Can I see you again?"
Of course he could! That's all I could have ever wanted at that
moment. To see him was all that was on my mind. "Calm down," I told
myself. I had to play it cool here, otherwise I would seem desperate.
Then he wouldn't like me. So, I spoke, as casually as I could have
considering the surge of emotions coursing through my body:
"Sure."
He smiled at me, more sweetly and wonderfully than he had yet. It
seemed like a miracle to me, that such an incredible guy could ever
want me, Lita, the stubborn girl, the one who has such a short fuse,
the one who never takes any crap from anybody, the girl who can kick
butt against any guy. How could he want me? Did it matter?
Then, he cupped his hand to my cheek, and made me feel more clam and
secure than I ever had. I've never really had anyone to give me that
sense of security. Ken tried as best he could, but what I really
needed was a mother, or a father. As great as Ken was, he could never
replace a parent. Richard had just made me feel as warm as a little
girl curled up in her father's lap. I closed my eyes for a second,
just to let the feeling go all the way down to my soul.
When I opened my eyes, he was looking at me with a face so knowing, so
feeling, and most of all, so caring. He looked into my eyes, and with
all the passion, and romance in the world, he kissed me. It was an
absolute euphoria in my mind, and my heart. Nothing this good had ever
happened to me, ever, and I had always thought that it never would.
I always thought myself too unlike anybody. I'm not beautiful like
Serena. I'm not smart like Amy. I'm not spiritual like Raye, and I'm
certainly not delicate like Mina. I'm just me, regular girl Lita. I'm
not even regular. I'm big, stubborn, and too angry for my own good,
let alone anybody else's. I don't even deserve to have someone like
him, but he seems to think that I do. Maybe everything I always thought
is wrong.
His kiss said everything that I ever needed to hear, and yet he still
managed to say more. When our lips parted, slowly, he lifted my chin
slightly, and said to me the most beautiful thing, just before he left:
"Never let those emerald eyes of yours fade."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Well, I hope you like the fic so far, but don't be getting the wrong idea
because the fic is far from being finished.
I'd like to thank Lady Rainbow for helping me out with the ages of the
characters.
The Legendary Redhawke - redhawkeanime@hotmail.com
http://www.geocities.com/redhawke4 - Redhawke FR
considering that only the prologue and chapter 1 are finished, but
trust me, this has been taking a lot of my extra time.
Sailor Moon, its characters and their images are copyright yadda yadda
yadda yadda yadda you've heard it all before
Emerald Eyes - Chapter 1
---------------------------------------------------------------------
by The Legendary Redhawke
Journal Entry - January 17, 1999 (Second Part)
He took me to have some coffee with him, but it all seemed like so
much more than that, to me anyway. It was as if, as if he was me,
with his emotions, his thoughts, and everything else about him.
Everything seemed so perfect. I've never known perfection, but I
knew that this was it, that being by his side, for all my life would
be the perfection that I'd always craved, and that no matter what I
would do, this had to come first.
Before school, before my restaurant, and before any other semblance
of a life can come along, I have to have this. This is what I've
always sought out, never thinking for a minute that I would actually
have it, and I'll die before I let it go by for the sake of something
else, that everyone will try and convince me is far more important.
He's just "that guy" to everyone else, but to me, to me, he's just
something beyond words.
As I sat beside him in that coffeehouse, my mind just kept going over
the thought of it all, and the doubt laying latent. "You're just
kidding yourself," I thought to myself, "He doesn't love you."
I'd never even thought about "loving" him.
Here it was, the definitive decision that I had to make, the first of
many for this entire lofty dream of mine, but it seemed to be the
most important one for that moment. I shyed away. It was too soon,
too fast, and too much for a girl who has never known such a thing as
this "love." I sat there, and indulged myself in the moment, because
I knew that that was the only thing that I could be absolutely certain
of.
It was a beautiful moment indeed. We just sat and talked about our
lives up to that point. Everything we talked about just seemed to
make my life seem so meaningless and uneventful up until the point
that I had met him. I'm young though, so I never really thought that
my life could be considered definitive in any way. These seventeen
years just seemed like a pitiful little flash in the pan by comaprison.
This earth has only known me for this little time, and now it seems
like it has been even less. That's the only feeling that I hated when
I was with him. Everything else just kept uplifting me, as if there
was hardly a thing that could put my feet back onto the ground. I was
floating from my joy, the joy that he instilled in me.
I know it seems weird, I mean, because of his age. He's 24, and I
just turned 17 not that long ago. But, honestly, I don't think it
ever crossed my mind that it was a problem. Anyone that can make you
feel as good as he does me, deserves to be cherished, and...and...
loved? Am I really thinking that? He's sweet, and kind, and caring,
but I don't even know him really. How can I "love" someone that I just
met? How can I give in to my emotions when it's only been a couple of
hours?
I must be dillusional, or maybe....no, I have to be dillusional.
There's no other explanation for it. I must have hit my head or
something when I fell, and now I'm thinking far outside the realm of
reality.
We finished our coffee, and he offered to walk me home. I accepted of
course, but it saddened me that I would have to leave his company. I
just tried to think in the moment, and enjoy the walk through the park
to my apartment. Nevertheless, I couldn't help but worry about what
would happen after I got home. Was I ever going to see him again?
Did he even care about me? Was I just fooling myself this entire time?
When I saw the apartment, my mind sprang into a panic. Every single
question that I could have ever imagined came into my head, and they
were all being asked at the exact same time. I never had a chance to
answer a single one of them. I didn't want to speak, thinking that
maybe he wouldn't go if I just didn't say a word, that the moment
wouldn't end if I didn't let it. I couldn't help it though. I had to
speak, though I knew not what to say. So, I said the stupidest thing
ever:
"We're here."
I saw it right then. That look in his eyes. It was a look of....of
disappointment? He wanted to be with me? I nearly fainted when I saw
his eyes, those soft hazel eyes, seeming to cry out against the world,
saying, "Don't go." I tilted my head slightly to the side, and gave
him a soft smile. I wanted him to come inside, but I knew how wrong
that would have been. I wanted to be with him, but not "with" him.
I'm only 17 after all. I just can't, not this young.
He spoke, and put my heart at ease, "Can I see you again?"
Of course he could! That's all I could have ever wanted at that
moment. To see him was all that was on my mind. "Calm down," I told
myself. I had to play it cool here, otherwise I would seem desperate.
Then he wouldn't like me. So, I spoke, as casually as I could have
considering the surge of emotions coursing through my body:
"Sure."
He smiled at me, more sweetly and wonderfully than he had yet. It
seemed like a miracle to me, that such an incredible guy could ever
want me, Lita, the stubborn girl, the one who has such a short fuse,
the one who never takes any crap from anybody, the girl who can kick
butt against any guy. How could he want me? Did it matter?
Then, he cupped his hand to my cheek, and made me feel more clam and
secure than I ever had. I've never really had anyone to give me that
sense of security. Ken tried as best he could, but what I really
needed was a mother, or a father. As great as Ken was, he could never
replace a parent. Richard had just made me feel as warm as a little
girl curled up in her father's lap. I closed my eyes for a second,
just to let the feeling go all the way down to my soul.
When I opened my eyes, he was looking at me with a face so knowing, so
feeling, and most of all, so caring. He looked into my eyes, and with
all the passion, and romance in the world, he kissed me. It was an
absolute euphoria in my mind, and my heart. Nothing this good had ever
happened to me, ever, and I had always thought that it never would.
I always thought myself too unlike anybody. I'm not beautiful like
Serena. I'm not smart like Amy. I'm not spiritual like Raye, and I'm
certainly not delicate like Mina. I'm just me, regular girl Lita. I'm
not even regular. I'm big, stubborn, and too angry for my own good,
let alone anybody else's. I don't even deserve to have someone like
him, but he seems to think that I do. Maybe everything I always thought
is wrong.
His kiss said everything that I ever needed to hear, and yet he still
managed to say more. When our lips parted, slowly, he lifted my chin
slightly, and said to me the most beautiful thing, just before he left:
"Never let those emerald eyes of yours fade."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Well, I hope you like the fic so far, but don't be getting the wrong idea
because the fic is far from being finished.
I'd like to thank Lady Rainbow for helping me out with the ages of the
characters.
The Legendary Redhawke - redhawkeanime@hotmail.com
http://www.geocities.com/redhawke4 - Redhawke FR