Chapter Two - Waiting

Shepard stared at the terminal in her room, hands poised over the keyboard. She had routed the message from Garrus' father there, hoping it would be easier to know what to say to him from the privacy of her own chambers. It wasn't.

The message was upsetting. Garrus' father was, indeed, the hard-ass he'd been described as.

Commander Shepard,

It has been difficult for my wife and I to accept the death of our only son. I am sorry to admit I was disappointed in him for abandoning C-Sec to join up with a human, and an alliance crew at that.

However, he did speak very highly of you and your abilities – that is, when we heard from him, which was rarely.

I am not sure what had gotten into him, with these crazy ideas of working outside the law to bring what he called 'justice' to the endless stream of criminals in the galaxy. I only know the time he served with you was the most fulfilling of Garrus' life.

I hope you and your species appreciate his sacrifice.

Sincerely,

R. Vakarian

Project Lazarus had been working to bring Garrus back for two and a half months now. There had been some difficulties, considering his alien physiology, but the Illusive Man assured Shepard things were progressing as planned. Her anxiety grew daily as their reunion edged closer.

Now she was faced with the matter of whether or not to inform Garrus' family of his involuntary enrollment as the first non-human subject in the Lazarus Project. She wondered, as she had many times wondered since the Illusive Man had first informed her of his decision to expand the project that had been designed only for her, why Cerberus had chosen a turian as their next subject. Was it really for her benefit, or was there something more behind their motives?

She sighed and began typing a response to the message.

Dear Mr. Vakarian,

Your son was a valuable member of my crew, and a dear friend. His motives may have seemed reckless, but Garrus never acted out of anything but honorable intentions. Of all the people I have ever served with – human or otherwise – he was without a doubt the most dedicated and honorable.

Garrus lived by his own code, never letting politics keep him from doing what he knew was right. I only wish there were more people like him in the galaxy; people who aren't afraid to stand up for what they believe in and fight to their last breath to protect those beliefs.

That being said, I have what I hope will be happy news for you. Garrus has been found alive and is currently recovering from his near-fatal injuries. He is expected to make a full recovery.

I am certain you will be informed as soon as he is able to see visitors. I look forward to meeting you then.

Best regards,

Kita Shepard, Cdr.

She hit send without bothering to reread the message. She knew she'd only end up retracting something she desperately wanted conveyed to Garrus' father. It bothered her somewhat that she had to lie – especially to a family member – to protect Cerberus.

Once the message was sent, she rose quickly from her chair and headed toward the elevator to get back to work. She'd just arrived on deck three when Miranda's voice came through the comm system.

"Shepard, I need to see you in my office as soon as possible."

"I'm on my way."

Miranda's office door slid open and the high level Cerberus operative glared at her, arms crossed, from her seat behind the long desk. She pressed a button which shut and sealed the door.

"What's this about?" Shepard asked defensively.

"I just intercepted your message to Garrus' father," she answered stiffly. "Needless to say, it will never leave this ship." She rose from her chair before Shepard could interject. "What were you thinking, Shepard? You know as well as anybody that the Lazarus Project is top secret. Do you have any idea what the repercussions could be if that message had been delivered?"

"I didn't mention anything about Cerberus or the Lazarus Project. I don't see the harm in letting his family know Garrus is alive."

"He's not alive," Miranda shouted. "For all we know at this stage, the procedure could fail. What will you tell his father when that happens?"

Shepard swallowed a lump in her throat. "People have a right to know what happens to their loved ones. I don't see the harm in telling Garrus' father he's going to live."

"Even if I agreed with you, the likelihood of that transmission being intercepted by someone other than its intended recipient is well over the acceptable level of chance I'm willing to take. If and when Cerberus deems it necessary to inform Garrus' family, the Illusive Man will decide what is said, how, and by whom. Understand?"

"In other words, you're going to control what Garrus can and cannot tell his family for the rest of his life."

"That's a burden he'll have to live with, I'm afraid. Would you prefer he didn't live at all?"

Shepard's eyes narrowed. "You didn't want him brought back, did you? I can tell from the tone in your voice that you've got a stick up your ass about this."

"Don't be absurd Shepard. I know, perhaps better than anyone, what a valuable asset Vakarian was to this crew and its mission."

"But he's a turian – an alien – and you don't like that. I guess I should've expected that type of reaction from Cerberus."

"Cerberus is funding this project, if you recall. Shepard, you're putting words in my mouth. Where is this all coming from?"

Shepard slunk into the armchair and Miranda again took her seat behind the desk, her face wrinkled with concern.

"I'm sorry, Miranda. Every little thing is setting me off."

"You're nervous about facing Garrus again. Believe me, I know the feeling. I wasn't sure how you were going to react when I brought you back; you might've ripped my bloody head off."

"You took a big chance. But this is different."

"How did you feel when you realized you'd been brought back from the dead? Answering this question might help you deal with your decision to revive Garrus."

Shepard thought back to the day she awoke in the Cerberus facility. "I felt… shocked. The memories of my death came flooding back all at once, but I didn't have a lot of time to process that."

"And once you'd accepted the truth, how did you feel?"

"To be honest, there was a little resentment at first. When I realized I'd been brought back with a purpose, though – that I could continue on with my mission to stop the collectors – I was grateful to you. The question is, will Garrus feel that way about it?"

"It was obvious Garrus was… troubled. He'd been through quite an ordeal, but I think in the end he came out of it stronger."

"Sometimes I'd worry about him. Was he really as strong as he seemed to be, or was he just covering up?"

"It's difficult to say. You should know… he went to see Dr. Chakwas after you talked him out of shooting Sidonis. Their meeting was recorded, of course."

"Forget it. I'm not going to start digging around in his medical file. I can't believe you would even suggest such a thing, Miss Top Secret."

"I wasn't suggesting anything, Shepard – merely pointing it out."

Shepard stood, her patience dwindling rapidly, and headed toward the door.

"Shepard…" Miranda's tone was softer now. "I just want you to be aware, pursuing a relationship with Garrus is guaranteed to be an extremely bumpy road. If you want my advice, which I'm sure you don't, you should do what you can to go back to the way things were before the two of you became intimate."

Shepard's eyes went wide in shock and anger. "Oookay, that's enough of this conversation," she chanted loudly, overriding Miranda's seal on the door and leaving the office without a backward glance.

She breathed a sigh of relief as the doors whooshed shut behind her and shook her head in disbelief. Miranda's ability to stay well-informed and overly-opinionated in her business never ceased to amaze Shepard, and it often pissed her off. Something was wrong with her, and it was more than just a little gene modification.

Shepard could remember thinking wishing Miranda had been the one to perish on the suicide mission instead of Garrus. She knew it was wrong, but grief can make you say and think horrible things. At least she'd held it together well enough never to voice the opinion.

She sighed again, realizing none of this really mattered now. She glanced to her left, down the corridor, to the door which lead to the Normandy's forward battery. She's always been able to find Garrus there; just the sight of him standing at the console had put her at ease. It had been a comfort to have Tali and him aboard, her two most trusted crewmates from the mission to stop Saren. There had been a time when she'd believed she could've pulled the mission off without them; she knew now how far from the truth that was.

Without realizing it, Shepard headed toward the alcove and, when the doors slid aside, moved to the console and laid her hands on it gently, hoping to feel some remnant of Garrus' life force lingering there. If she did, it was her imagination, for in a hidden facility somewhere in this crazy galaxy, Garrus' heart was beating again.

She wondered if he was conscious yet, but knew he was being kept under heavy anesthesia. In her mind's eye, she could see him lying on the operating table, tubes and wires jutting from his body, completely at the mercy of the Cerberus scientists assigned to carry out the procedure. She hated the idea of leaving him in their hands; they could cancel the project at any time without so much as informing her. For all she knew, Garrus could be taking his last breath (a second time) while she stood here thinking about it.

Shuddering, she pushed away from the console and left the alcove. Back to work, she thought as she made her way to the engineering deck.