Part 2

My mother wasn't the same after father's death. She was one of those kind hearted, soft people, who can't take heartbreak. For days, no, for months really, she was completely out of this world. She was lying in her and father's bed sobbing and screaming. Sometimes she came out and walked through the house looking like a ghost from a horror movie.

It was horrible to watch.

I did my best to make her feel better. I learned to cook so I could feed her. I read her the morning paper so she would be connected with the world outside our house. I walked her to the bathroom so she would shower. On some days she was better, almost like her usual self, but then there were days when she was just…broken. On those days I had to wash her hair for her, feed her myself and hold her when she started to scream.

Now that I think about it, after all these years, I don't know how I managed. It was quite frankly a horrible time in my life. No son should see their mother that way. It was also a hard time financially. I had to count every penny we used. My father had been the only one working in our family, mother stayed home taking care of the house and us. The insurance money helped, but for some reason I felt awful using it. It was almost as if I was trading father for something else, less valuable.

We moved into a smaller apartment near my school, the house was too big for the two of us. During breaks between classes I went back home to check that mother hadn't done anything…unnecessary. She was staring to be self destructive. I locked away every knife and sharp edged thing that we had in the house, and I locked up all medicines we had, well, everything even remotely dangerous actually.

To be honest, I have to admit that I do blame my mother for being so weak, making me do all that, forcing me to take care of her so much. It wasn't normal to go that deep into grieve. Most people are devastated, yes, but eventually life goes on and the people that are gone will stay in our memories. My mother, however, there was absolutely no sign that she was going to live again. She didn't even see me, her only son, anymore. She was just a shell, living in the past and mourning after what could have been but what can never really be.

We got some financial support from the state, but eventually we were so short on money that I had to take a part-time job. I was worried about getting one. I being gone after school meant that mother had to stay home alone that much longer.

One day, when I was almost at my breaking point I was actually thinking about tying her to the bed so I could be sure she wouldn't do anything to herself. I was just so fucking tired! You can't believe how tiring it is to go to school and work your ass off, only to constantly worry about your own mother, that when you go home you would see her dead on the floor.

Naturally, in a situation like that, I completely became a stranger to my friends. Popular TV shows didn't matter anymore. I lived for my mother and for work, I had to be good at school or I wouldn't be able to support my mother later. That's not exactly normal for a teenager. I think I alienated from the world too, along with mother, and yet I desperately tried to keep her involved.

After a year or so she was getting better. She began to move around the apartment, doing small chores here and there. She even smiled a little a couple of times. I was so relieved. But it didn't last long. Something triggered her depression again, a memory or a reminder of father. I wrecked my head trying to think what could have done it. I had made sure that every picture, every item he had used, every single gift, was out of the house, packed into boxes that were stored into our old family friend's garage.

Just imagine my depression when I realized that the item that had pulled my mother back under, was the thing that I probably should have gotten rid of before anything else. Because of my stupidness she was once again one sobbing mess, weeping over her wedding ring. It nearly broke me too.

As for Sesshoumaru, after that night I didn't see him again. He just disappeared from our lives. That didn't mean I stopped thinking about him. Actually, I think I probably wouldn't have become so obsessed about him if my life hadn't been so…hard…at the time. He was like my lifebelt in the sea of despair; I hang onto that little bit of kindness that he had given me before I had to grow up before it was my time. In my mind I thought that for that one moment my beautiful brother had loved me. I didn't really get much love back then.

I thought about him all the time. Especially when the situation started to be too much to handle, when I thought I would break. It helped to think about him, I tried to recall that soothing, warm feeling he had given me.

Sometimes I was angry. At myself, mostly, but also to my mother, sometimes even to Sesshoumaru. I was angry at myself that I hadn't left with him when he had asked me to come with him. I cursed myself for being so stupid. I was angry at her for being so weak, making me unable to leave her, and I was angry at Sesshoumaru because he hadn't dragged me with him.

Of course I knew that not in under any circumstances Sesshoumaru would ever drag anyone along with him. He didn't need to and he certainly didn't want to. If you really wanted to be with him, he didn't drive you away, and if you wanted to follow him, he let you, but he never ever told you where he was going, never said words like 'follow me' nor did he seek for company of any kind. That's why I felt special that he had come to my room that night. It was very unlike him, and I loved him for it.

About two and a half years after my father's death - I was seventeen at the time - my mother followed him. She was in a really bad shape before it happened. I couldn't get her to eat anymore. She just lay still and muttered something. Sometimes she was talking to father, believing that she was welcoming him home after he came from work. Sometimes she thought she was cooking and sometimes she talked to me. She thought I was five and she was teaching me to drive a bike or something else as silly.

The last three weeks she was alive, I pretty much spent all my time in the hospital she was in. The doctors did what they could, but she was way past the point of help. Now I think I should've gotten her help a lot sooner, but how could I have known that it would turn out to be so bad? I was fifteen and just lost my father, how the hell was I supposed think that my mother would go mad and die a few years later.

The doctor noticed my agony and how I blamed myself. He was kind; he told me that she would have probably died a lot sooner if I hadn't been there for her. Funny enough, hearing that did help me to get over it, at least a little bit. Though, sometimes, when I was too deep in my sorrow, I couldn't help but think that it would've been easier for the both of us, if she had simply killed herself a lot earlier, just like she tried so many times. I thought that perhaps I shouldn't have stopped her. I hated myself for thinking that. I loathed myself, still do.

But every time the situation was that bad, Sesshoumaru was there to hold me. He wrapped me in his arms and rocked my body gently, whispering in my ear with that voice I so loved.

You see, after mother died, Sesshoumaru reappeared. I was sitting in the hospital's corridor, trying to hold back tears, when I saw him. My heart skipped a beat, I can still see it with my mind's eye, the way he looked that day.

His hair was as white as ever, with silvery highlights. It was tied into a lazy ponytail and it lay on his left shoulder, falling down his chest like moonbeams. He still had that long leather jacket, which floated around him as he walked. He had a new piercing, a ring on his bottom lip. The shirt underneath the jacket was tight around his torso, making my mouth water, for it didn't leave any room for imagination. His black jeans were so low down his hips that I couldn't help but think that it would only take a one gentle tug before they fell down his legs and revealed…

Somewhere in the back of my mind I wondered how I could be so horny even though my mother had died just moments ago.

Sesshoumaru looked as serious as ever as he walked towards me. For some reason I was glad he didn't smile when he saw me. I didn't want anyone to smile that day, it felt like an insult to her. I know that's stupid but no can do. He sat next to me on the bench and didn't say anything. I didn't look at him.

I've always thought that Sesshoumaru is actually very sensitive to other people's feelings. I know that if I told that to anyone, they'd probably laugh, but I know I'm right. Sesshoumaru doesn't say much but when he does, it's the right thing. Also, if he wants to insult someone, he knows exactly where to strike. He knows when it's better to say nothing, and he can answer to questions before they're being asked.

Like then, I was feeling abandoned and alone and he knew what to do. I didn't want to hear comforting words or condolences, and I definitely didn't want to hear the fucking social workers idiotic questions. What I did want to know - what was going around and around in my mind - was why the people I love were constantly leaving me behind.

"I came to ask if you'd like to come with me now", Sesshoumaru broke the silence. My head snapped to his direction and I stared at him eyes wide. My heartbeat was erratic.

"Really? You're not going to just take off?" I had to confirm. It felt like a dream, a dream I had already seen so many times. To be with Sesshoumaru, how wonderful that would be.

"No Inuyasha", he looked at me seriously, with those eyes that never lie, "I will go. Away from here. I can't stay here, though this time you could come with me, if you want."

He left me room to walk away. It's just as I said earlier, he won't take anyone with him, he simply allows them to come along. Now that my mother was gone there was no chance anything could have kept me away from him, if he was willing to take me.

"I want" I answered. I was surprised how even my voice was.

He looked at me closely, his eyes wandered over me and I felt hot. "You look horrible", he stated and his lips curled disapprovingly.

"I haven't exactly had enough time to mind what I look like…" I muttered and tugged the hem of my shirt self-consciously.

"I just meant that you could use a bath and rest. You didn't have those dark circles around your eyes before."

"Well a lot of shit happened, okay? It's not like you were here to help, right?" I spat angrily. I regretted it immediately. At that moment my last thread of hope was that Sesshoumaru would take me away, and now I was spouting crap at him. Not a good start.

He didn't look like he minded though. He nodded slowly and kept staring at me. It was like he was trying to see through me, into some place I wasn't sure I had. Once again the old feeling of not being worthy filled me. My sight clouded as the tears came and fell down my cheeks. He didn't say anything. He lifted his hand and swept the wet lines away from my face. His touch was just as tingling and burning as I remembered, I leaned into it.

He pressed his forehead against mine and we sat like that for a long time, just like no time had passed since last time, even though I had grown quite a bit during those years. I looked like a man now, I was almost as tall as he.

Finally he leaned away from me, but he kept stroking my cheek gently. "I need to go and have a word with that bitch", he said quietly, a flash of annoyance in his eyes.

For some reason I felt like laughing, I didn't though, but he probably knew I was amused. "Who's this bitch?" I asked curiously. It was rare to see him so obviously pissed.

He huffed. That was the first one… "That fucking social bitch. When I told her I'd take care of you until you're of age she looked at me like I was some punk from the hood. Seriously…"

I had never heard him rant like that before. He doesn't like people looking down on him. Usually when someone does something like that, he goes overboard and does something even more shocking than the thing people had been shocked about. I think it annoyed him immensely that the situation being what it was, he couldn't stuck his tongue down the social workers throat, make her breathless and crazy with want and then tell her that she sucked at it and he had once again confirmed that he was gay. If he did that, he definitely wouldn't have been allowed to look after me, even though it would only be about four months.

"I mean, none of my tattoos are showing or anything and I didn't put any chains on 'cause I was in a hurry…" he kept mumbling.

"I don't know, Sesshoumaru, I think those piercings of yours are pretty fierce, too. Did you get new tattoos? At least that's new, right?" I touched the ring on his lip.

His tongue slipped out of his mouth and touched my fingertip. "Yeah, that's new", he murmured and I felt the familiar heat grow stronger in my pants. "And as a matter of fact I do have some other new things as well, but I don't think I can show them to you here…" His expression was very suggestive. I had to swallow and pinch myself to be able to keep my mind on the right track.

He chuckled – oh that wonderful, wonderful sound I had missed – and then he rose from his seat. "Take whatever you have with you here. We're leaving as soon as I'm finished with the bitch."

And so I was reunited with my beautiful brother. He helped me through it all, funeral, school transfer and all the other shit that followed. I'll always be grateful for it. I don't know what I might have done without his support. I lived with him in his apartment (which was surprisingly big). He had moved there when he left home after father's funeral.

Sesshoumaru was always there for me in his quiet I-don't-want-to-reveal-too-much-of-my-thoughts-to-you manner, but to my great disappointment and surprise – we never got really intimate again. There was tension, a lot of it, at least on my side, but we didn't…do anything. He held me when I freaked out and he touched me a lot, but it never got beyond that.

I think it's mainly because of me. Like I've said before, Sesshoumaru doesn't really initiate anything. If I had gone to his room and asked him to hold me, really hold me, I think he might have done it. If I had been courageous enough to really touch him, I think he would have responded. But I didn't, and that's the one thing in my life that I truly regret, because it was something that I could have so easily changed.

Despite the constant tension and sparks we lived together rather peacefully. I went to school and did what I was supposed to. I didn't go out, mainly because there wasn't anything I wanted to do and partying didn't feel like the right thing for me, I guess I thought it would be disrespectful to my mother (again, I now it's stupid…).

Sesshoumaru, however, he was out a lot. Sometimes he was gone for days before he came back. He never explained where he had been, and I never asked. I didn't really want to know. I kind of knew anyway, it was only natural that he would want to go and hook up. I mean, he was, and still is, a very popular guy. Well, not that it matters anymore. He has him now after all…

Besides, it's not like I wasn't used to him going away for long periods of time. He used to do that all the time when father was alive and we all lived together…as a family. Of course, what I didn't know at the time was the reason why he went out. It was completely different than it had been before.

I found out the reason one night when I came home sooner than expected. I was supposed to spend the night at our old family friend's house, you know, the one who kept all my father's stuff in his garage. I wanted to pick up some things from that pile of stuff - some of the things were actually my mother's - and they had invited me to stay over. Their house was pretty far away from Sesshoumaru's place so I had agreed, they were very nice people.

However, when I was there, I felt incredibly uncomfortable. I wanted to go home where Sesshoumaru was. That's when I decided that it was time for me to get over myself and confront my brother. I wanted to kiss him. I wanted to return the favor he had given me on that night almost three years ago. I had had these fantasies about him - his hands, lips and expressions - for so long that I felt stupid that I hadn't done anything to make them real now that I had the chance.

So I went back.

And I saw something…amazing…and disturbing.

I opened the door to the apartment and stepped inside but instead of lights and Sesshoumaru coming out of the shower to greet me, all I could see was darkness. First I thought that brother had gone out, like he did on most nights, but then – just as I was going to put the lights on – I heard a moan. And then I heard the voices.

As quietly as I could I walked to Sesshoumaru's bedroom door. I cracked it open and peeked inside. My body froze as I saw the sight in front of me. It was horrible and yet strangely arousing at the same time. It was also the first time I saw that person.

There were two naked and equally good looking men on the bed. One of them was my brother, the other one was perhaps a little bit taller and dark haired. When he turned his head I could see his eyes were a strange shade of brown, and I could swear there was a glint of red in there. He had a lean body and an evil smirk in a handsome face. His hair was almost as long as Sesshoumaru's, but this person's hair was wavy and just as black as Sesshoumaru's was white. I immediately hated him, though I didn't know why.

The scene in front of me could only be described as obscene. My beautiful brother was tied to the bed, legs spread wide. I could see everything. His flushed face, gorgeous, sweaty body and its rippling muscles under the pale skin, hard nipples (one of them was pierced, that was a new one) and his pulsing, hard cock that leaked from the tip. The other man was just as hard as my brother was, but one glance at them was enough to tell that this wasn't one of the normal sex scenes.

The strange man was holding a vibrator in his hand, and I could see lots of other stuff next to him on the bed, though I couldn't see so clearly that I could have told what they were. I was sure, however, that they weren't probably made to feel people comfortable when they were used…

Sesshoumaru was breathing hard and I could tell they had been doing it for quite a while already. I squeezed the doorframe and despite myself I could feel my body reacting. My pants were beginning to feel tight.

"Ah, my lovely Sesshoumaru…" the strange man's voice washed over me. It was smooth and silky and somehow very dangerous. I knew immediately that this was no ordinary man. "You seem to be very energetic today, eh? Now why might that be?" he continued and played with the vibrator. He turned it on and off and on again. It buzzed and twisted and I could see Sesshoumaru looking at it with a strange expression on his face.

"Naraku", he said almost demandingly, "stop this foolishness and get on with it!"

The person called Naraku frowned irritated. "I don't think you're in a position to make demands, sweetheart", he said mockingly.

He lowered the buzzing vibrator to trace a line over Sesshoumaru balls. He moaned and bit his lip. Naraku leaned over him and kept moving the vibrator over his skin. "Remember why you're with me. You want me to treat you like this, yes?"

And then he suddenly thrust the vibrator inside Sesshoumaru, who cried out and arched his back. Naraku's evil smile widened, and despite his rough movement earlier his hand gently caressed my brother's skin, only to scratch it painfully a moment later. I could hear the vibrator inside Sesshoumaru, it made surprisingly loud noise, and apparently Sesshoumaru was starting to enjoy it, for he was panting harder, making sounds that went straight to my groin, and his cock twitched in need of attention.

Naraku clicked his tongue disapprovingly. "That's not right, Sesshoumaru… You're not supposed to enjoy this so much, you know. It kind of ruins my mood. Why don't you cry a little, hmm? For me?" He smiled and thrust the vibrator deeper, before turning it to buzz even louder, I guess it must have been doing some wicked things inside Sesshoumaru.

The smirker seemed to enjoy seeing Sesshoumaru throw his head back and moan. His hips rose from the bed and for a second I thought he was undone, but right then, when he was nearly at the point of release, Naraku gripped his member and squeezed hard, making my brother cry out in pain.

"Not yet, my dear", he whispered and twisted the vibrator. "Not yet."

His mouth traveled across Sesshoumaru's skin until he reached his nipples. I couldn't see clearly what he was doing, but he spent lots of time mouthing the nipple with the piercing. "This looks good on you. I'm glad I made it for you…" he murmured and I could see him pulling the steel ring with his teeth, Sesshoumaru groaned.

I was shocked. Was this the man that was constantly piercing my brother? Was this the person that made him look like a pincushion? Up until that point I had always thought they looked good on him, but for some reason I know wanted to remove all of them.

The show in front of me went on. Part of me didn't want to see it. That part wanted to run away and forget I ever saw anything, but the other part of me (the lower one actually) wanted to see everything. That part was enjoying it a little bit too much.

Then many things happened at the same time. Naraku bit the skin hard enough to draw blood, he thrust another devise into Sesshoumaru's hole and released his hand from his cock. At the moment the new devise was fully inside Sesshoumaru, he came with a force I hadn't seen before. White seed flew to his stomach and he threw his head back trembling from head to toes.

When it was over, he laid still, his head turned the other way, panting heavily.

Naraku laughed. "Oh no, Sesshoumaru. You can't give up yet. Your punishment game is only starting. Should we try to break a record? How long was it that you spent at my place doing this? Two days..?"

When I heard what the man said my mind froze completely and I gasped loudly.

He heard it and turned to look at the door. His smile widened as he saw me thought the crack. "Well, well, well… What do we have here…? What do you say Sesshoumaru, should we asked him to join us? That might be surprisingly delicious."

Sesshoumaru seemed to become aware of his surroundings again and he turned to look at the same direction as Naraku was looking. When he saw me, the post-orgasmic haze left his face, and the look he gave me was enough to make me want to cry and run away.

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Happy Christmas Eve!! This was the second part. I'm so not sorry about the cliffie here ^^ My computer is being a bigger bitch than me so we'll see if I mange to post this on (in?)time... This story is actually like a life saviour for me, 'cause if I wasn't writing this, I would have to sit with my family. Bloody family holdays *lots of cursing* Oh well, at least I don't have to deal with all this tomorrow. I hope you're having a good time, though! ^^ By the way, writing this story is quite time consuming 'cause I promised to update so frequently. Because English is my third language it takes me a lot of time to write a chapter like this. Seriously, it takes hours and hours... But it's just so much fun, right?

Okay then, until tomorrow! We continue with the smuttiness.

Love, Val