Hi again.

Thanks for reading my story. It really means a lot.

This is chapter is from Blay's POV, and I gotta admit… I love it. Blay is my all-time fave character, so I'm feeling a bit honored.

I do not own any of these characters. They belong to one of the best writers ever, JR Ward!

Blaylock, son of Rocke, was currently pacing a hole in his bedroom floor and looking at his watch for the millionth time, and had to choke back a scream of frustration. It was, as before, showing him a time that just wasn't acceptable to him. He had ANOTHER fricken hour before he could go out in the field. Damn, he needed to get out of the mansion. Even if it was to go out fighting. Hell, anything was better than sitting in his room drowning in self-pity… which was what he'd been doing for most of the day.

He was so sick of the "what-ifs" and "maybes" that have been floating in his head.

Maybe he should go see Quhinn.

What if he call Quhinn.

So pitiable. So useless. Quhinn didn't want anything to do with him. He had made that clear as day. And Blay still wanted him. He accepted a long time ago that he always would. Nothing could change that.

Sure, he had Saxton, and in many ways Saxton was his ideal male. They had similar interests, and taste. He should be overjoyed that he hooked up with Saxton. However, Saxton wasn't the one dominating his heart. Saxton wasn't the one who had enough of him to break his heart…

Blay thought back to the night Quhinn had ended their friendship on their adjoin balcony. In all his life, he'd never felt pain as severe as the pain bought on by those words. He had dug, desperately, in his skull for a way they could go back to the way they were. Before things got so messed up. But he knew there was nothing to say. He had laid his heart and soul out for Quhinn, but the guy didn't want it. He didn't want him. And as much as that destroyed him, it was no where near the pain Blay felt when he thought of Quhinn hurt, scared, and lost.

His buddy was falling to pieces, and it was obvious to everyone. The guy had shaved off all of his hair, and took out most of his piercings. He'd lost so much weight that it was a wonder how he manage to still be able to go out into the field. Whenever he wasn't with John, Blay rarely saw Quhinn. No one did. He locked himself away in either his room or the training room.

And the guy never went anywhere near Blay. Quhinn avoided him like he was the sun. Just the other day, Blay had gone into the training room to work out, and he had seen Quhinn. For all of a minute, until the guy look up and saw him, and practically ran for the door.

Fucker! , Blay thought bitterly. And yeah, he was bitter. Years worth of bullshit engineered that feeling. Moments of "so-close" and "almosts" that only succeeded in screwing him in the end.

He didn't understand how Quhinn could just throw him away like that. Regardless of how strain it was getting between them, their friendship was sacred. At least, he always thought so. Apparently Quhinn didn't share those sentiments.

Damn. yet he still missed the guy. He grieved for the lost bond between them. It was hard to go from having Quhinn all around you to hardly seeing him at all. The feeling was excruciating and damn near impossible to live with. But he did live with it. Somehow, he mange to gone on, and even have a romantic relationship with another male. But that didn't mean he was truly alive, because he wasn't. Yeah, he could go through the motions, but without Quhinn… he was just a breathing box.

Empty

If it wasn't for Saxton, he probably would have left the mansion a long time ago. It wasn't like he was needed here. He was just a solider. Easily replaceable. John had Xhex, so he'd be fine. And as much as he loved everyone in the house, leaving the place was a favorable thought.

Especially if/when Quhinn and Layla mate.

Blay's breath broke on a hitch, and he buried his chest in his arms as the pressure in his body reached breaking point. Images of Layla withQuhinn burst forward in his head.

Layla touching Quhinn.

Quhinn….. Craving Layla's touch.

Blay burst through his room door, and stared toward the Grand Staircase. He was halfway through the foyer when a loud whistle stopped him in place. Without turning around, he knew it was John. He could smell the guy's bonding scent, and it was, yet, another blow to his fragile heart. He wanted that with Quhinn so bad. That beautiful aroma that was a silent announcement to all not to fuck with his male. But that wasn't in the cards.

"Sup, John", he finally managed, with his back still to the guy. He didn't want to talk. He didn't want the pointless conversations that had become a daily thing. He just needed to get out of here before he did something crazy. Like go up to Quhinn's room and beat the shit out of the basturd. Then, beg for him to love him back.

Another sharp whistle bought his head around, and face-face with John's slightly PO'ed expression.

What the fuck? He signed angrily.

"Nothing"

Could've fooled me. Where you going. Everyone's not going out for another thirty minutes.

"I'm heading early, then. I didn't know I needed to check in with you first, though." , Blay bit out, instantly regretting it at the surprised look in John's dark blue eyes. Before John could start interrogating him, he quickly said, "Look I just need to get out for a while. I'm fine."

From the look in John's eyes, he knew the guy wasn't finished, but he was surprised when John signed back Ok man. I'll text you and let you know where you're patrolling.

Then, John came over to Blay, and embraced him. Blay struggled at first, but then gave in. Because John saw that he needed it. He needed it so bad.

When they broke apart, he was glad that John didn't comment on the wetness in his eyes. He nodded his head, unable to speak, and turned away.

Sometimes where better left unsaid.