Chapter 1
No Cake
He wondered if she was happy. He wondered it everyday.
He lived and breathed what memories he had of her, the way she felt in his arms, her voice, scent. Gil even remembered the way she sounded as she walked across their floor. Some nights, he could swear he heard that sound of her coming up the stairs and hoped that if he stared at the closed door long enough, she'd appear.
His body ached for her, inside and out.
He often thought about the many ways he'd see her next. Praying and hoping that knock on the door, was her knock, and that it was her standing there in front of him, instead of the delivery boy to Sara's favorite Chinese restaurant.
But it had been two years. Two long, painful years since he'd last made love to her, told her that she was his life. The man that he had become with her, was now gone. He died along with his faith that he'd ever see her again, get to be inside her again, get to whisper her name in her ear again. All because he did exactly what'd she had requested him to do in that note. That four word note, full of unspoken words. How could such a small amount of one syllable words, wound him so deep.
Don't look for me. He didn't; but everyday he hated him self more and more for it. A few times, he'd get into his car and drive as far as he could before he found himself breaking down. Then he'd sit in his car, alone, thinking, hating. Never her, but hating himself for not seeing what he now saw was inevitable. After that, he'd leave.
The first week was the hardest week of his life, half of him disappeared that week. The first month was long and tiring. Often, he'd sleep at work, afraid to come home to an empty house, forcing him to call the neighbor to feed their dog, no, his dog now.
He wished he could say that it got easier and that everything was OK. But then he'd be lying. Every day, he fell further and further into that deep hole as it swallowed more and more of him.
And now, Gil was leaving Vegas, taking an indefinite break from work. He had taken a job away from what reminded him of Sara. Away from his past, her past. Their past.
Gil Grissom would be teaching in Texas.
No goodbyes, no parties, no cake.
To be continued... Your comments on this chapter would be much appreciated.
Thank you to everyone who replied. & I must say thank you to CBS for putting out the heart breaking promo last night. After watching it over and over again, it helped me write this chapter. The song, This woman's work by Kate Bush, had a huge hand in my emotions last night and this chapter.
Chapter 2 will be up very soon. Thank you again to my amazing beta and to everyone else. The future chapters will be full length chapters.