POTTERY IN MOTION
PART 2
The time came a week later for the Arts & Crafts students to show Professor Ross and his ill-fitted afro their finished work.
"Yes very nice," he said, judging Mona Weed's acrylic portrait of her nan. "I like how your grandmother is knitting. However, the fact that the doily doesn't become larger does take away from the realism."
He was one to talk, with that afro.
Professor Ross carried on, offering a bit of praise and criticism to all of his portrait painting students.
The chaps weren't the only ones having created a golem, however. As it turned out, so had Cas and Mac.
Their golem was very clearly a female because it had boobs (and the chaps would hear nothing else from trams-people), and it was very pretty and delicate like a mannequin. However, the chaps felt that it lacked the crude and clumsy look of a proper horror golem.
It wore a fring-y gold dress and a black braided wig. The girls had not skimped on the eyeliner either.
"We call her Clayopatra," said Cas. "Clayopatra, sew!"
Clayopatra sat down by a sewing machine and threaded it. Succesfully threading a needle without crushing it was apparently all it took for Professor Ross to be impressed.
"Very nice work. O+."
"Is that O as in Oh No?" asked Mac, worried.
"No, it's O as in Oh you have blown my mind!"
Then the turn finally arrived to the chaps and their golem. Professor Ross had to step over several chairs that Clayton had broken trying to sit to get to them.
"Classic look," he said. "Does it obey commands?"
"Of course it does. Look," James replied.
Sirius took a record from its case, put it on a turntable and placed the needle on the desired track, while Remus provided Clayton with a top hat and a cane.
Putting on the Ritz crackled through the speaker. Clayton tore holes in several canvases tap dancing through them.
"I give you B," said Professor Ross.
"Is that B for Brilliant?" James asked.
"Or Beautiful?" said Sirius, putting his hand over Remus's face.
"Sorry, I haven't gotten hang of the Hogwart's grading system yet," said Professor Ross. "That's B for Bloody Awful."
Done with the chaps and their golem, he continued with the remaining students and their shattered portraits.
"What's his problem?" James asked. "It looks and acts the part!"
"Don't feel bad," said Cas. "It's a fine golem, but it's not very innovative, is it? Just your regular run-o'-the-mill stereotype of a golem. We sculpted an Egyptian queen and gave her really delicate fingers."
"Well ours does balloon animals, too," said Sirius. "We just wanted to get the reference out of the way. Right? You said you were going to teach it do do balloon animals."
"Well..," said Remus.
"Or bubblegum-animals, whatever."
"It went fine, once I found a good oil."
"Maybe that's what it takes to get a B in this class," said James and whistle for Clayopold to return.
Remus oiled Clayopold's clumsy hands and provided him with a balloon sized chunk of bubblegum. When Professor Ross came back to watch the trick he was held under the presumption that it was a regular balloon, since balloons were frailer and the bubblegum was virtually un-burstable.
"Very impressive," he said when he held the bubblegum-poodle in his hands. "I've always wanted to learn to do a bicycle. Perhaps I'll raise your grade to...to..."
When Professor Ross tried to put the poodle down he found it to be hopelessly glued to his hands and the table. Trying to break free with all his might just had him toppling backwards, getting his head stuck in a vase and the table broken into firewood.
The mark was not raised.