A/N: YO! HERE WE GO! MORE THAN FIVE THOUSAND WORDS!
Okay, okay, okay! Hi, guys and gals! I've been gone for awhile! Blame the slew of new games that came out!
There's also something else that needs to be said.
I don't know how to say this, but...
...I'm pissed off.
Fuck my life.
Seriously, fuck it with a HAMMER, throw it in a ditch and set it in on FIRE. Sorry for that, I just felt the need to rant because I've been having a really shitty month. Not your fault at all guys, I'm just having a rotten time. I ate something I was allergic to-NOT FUN, THAT-got my heart broken, nearly got hit by a car, RUINED my laundry, accidentally DELETED several chapters I was working on, destroyed my laundry, nearly wound up late for work, and to top it all off, the annoying little twat known as Doom Marine 54 is back and harassing me again.
But fear not!
I AM BY NO MEANS QUITTING THIS SITE!
Now that we've put that aside...
This one's next on the update roster!
Also, requests are still closed until the end of the month so I can update everything. I also got major inspiration for the hilarity here from Omahdon's Overwatch comic dub videos on Youtube, among a bunch of others. They really made my day!
So now, here we are!
Also, points for anyone who can translate what Widowmaker is saying.
Yes, the title is entirely intentional, and I laughed SO hard writing this.
Some of its serious, some is zany, and others, well...
And YES, the Reaper bit will show up next time.
If you think about it, Widow deserved another chapter to deal with having her emotions back. In that same vein, Reaper and the rest of Talon deserve their own chapter, I think.
Points to anyone who recognizes old faces from different genres and shows!
Prepare to laugh, everyone!
Hope you enjoy!
=D
"A King is one who looks after his subjects. A king is a sword and a shield. Someone willing to do whatever it takes to protect those dear to him. Even if it means playing the fool. Let them strike me a thousand times if it makes them happy. Let my enemies underestimate me. I'll be the one to hold it all in the end. And I will protect it. ALL OF IT."
"I see. You consider these "universes" and those within them, your kingdom. This...facade of yours is just that, then? An act?"
"Well, yeah. Most of the time. Maybe half?"
"You can't be serious."
"Hey, at least I can win a game of gungi."
...I do not wish to speak of this. What is it that you want?"
"EVERYTHING."
~?
To Be King
Hello, dear, precious diary of mine!
So, some updates since knocking out Widowbitch-ahem! Amelie. Right. Need to call her that now. She's been out cold for more than four days, now, and if I want her help in setting up an empire here, I can't afford to set her off. In hindsight, maybe I should've gone for the gradual route, rather than just removing her brainwashing outright. Whatever those Talon folks did to her ran pretty deep. Even can't tell who she'll wake up as. Will it be Amelie? Widowmaker? Some union of the two? Will she even wake up at all without my help? Hell, even my abilities have limits, especially if I don't know what to fix or where to go...
Anyhow!
I've been a very busy little beaver in these last forty-eight hours. Setting traps, laying false leads, sowing misinformation among the masses, flaying madmen alive. I think Esdeath would be proud of my efforts. Athena certainly would. Its rare to have anything resembling a challenge these days since tackling the Greek pantheon a way back, so I really have to work at it. This time around the solution was obvious. I can't allow anyone important such as Reinhardt or Sombra to randomly die on me now, not when I have SO many plans for all of them. I even found an adorable robot and took him under my wing!
Death's really rather easy to circumvent if you put your mind to it and where there's a will, there's a way.
Oh, Overwatch and Talon operatives can still kill each other as many times as they want, mind you.
They can, of course, die in terrible, horrible ways.
They just won't stay dead for very long.
Free heals and respawns for all!
Really, its a brilliant idea if I say so myself. I don't know why I didn't think of it sooner. Maybe it was too obvious? I'll have to thank Eveline for that. Clever girl. She's really not so bad now that she's a part of the family. I mean, give her a bit of love, and she turned out fine. Ought to throw her a party or two when I get back. Ah, but I digress!
In any case, I'm sure Talon is just now starting to realize how monumentally fucked they are.
They're going to come for me, of course.
On the contrary, I'm counting on it.
Phase one is now complete!
Now onto phase two!
LET US BEGIN.
(...?...)
Amelie Lacroix woke to the smell of her mother's pancakes.
That was wholly, utterly impossible of course and Widowmaker-Amelie!-knew this rationally, trying to puzzle it out as she stared at the ceiling. Her mother had been dead for years, now. Wait. Her mother? Why was she thinking about her? She hadn't thought about her in tears, not since Gerard, not since...since what? Her mind stuttered and stalled on the verge of remembrance; teetering at the edge for fear of falling, as though she'd trapped herself in a waking dream. For a fleeting moment she recalled absolutely nothing of her fated encounter and simply lounged in bed, carelessly tangled up in silken sheets.
In the end, only one word came to mind.
"What?"
Baffled by her surroundings, Amelie shifted her body against the bed and propped herself on her elbows, wondering how she'd gotten here. It was only then that she realized someone had stripped her of both her gear and weapons, leaving her clad in her undergarments. They'd even freed her hair from its braid and washed it while she slept. Mortifying enough by itself-but then, as though deliberately adding insult to injury, they'd left behind a pair of blindingly orange sweatpants and an equally garishly colored shirt in their place. Merely the sight of it had her hands twitching into relentless knots.
Orange.
She loathed orange.
They even had the audacity-the gall!-to leave a note!
Written in a loose scrawl it only served to pique her temper all the more:
Gooooooooood morning!
If you're reading this letter, you're finally awake. If not, I probably fucked something up and you're a drooling vegetable by now. Eh, fifty-fifty. In any case, if DIDN'T fry your brain, you're going to get a nasty shock any minute now as your memories come back. Maybe they have already. Trust me; amnesia is always an absolute bitch to reverse and even then, it sucks, realizing you've been played like a fiddle. So if you want to throw a few punches my way afterward, I won't blame you. Heh, I'd probably deserve it.
Oh, and we're having pancakes today, by the way.
Feel free to come down when you want.
Hope you like orange!
~Naruto.
Crumpling the paper in hand, Widowmaker stifled a snarl.
"I don't know what he did, but I know I'm going to kill him...!"
Growling all the while, she reluctantly donned the garments left for her and forced herself away from the bed's comforting embrace.
The room's humble decor offered little in the way of answers and gathered more questions; because Amelie recognized this room. She knew the peeling cyan wallpaper and modest furnishings coupled with the faintest scent of home-cooking stirred long-forgotten feelings in her. The room was very familiar to her, almost painfully so. She'd been here before. She even recognized the worn-looking stairwell wrapping downward towards the kitchen, the pitctures on the wall. This was her room. As it had been years before. As if she'd simply been plucked from King's Row and flung back into the past by that insufferable blond bastard. Wait, why did she recall that? Ah, hell-
Abruptly, the tiniest thorn of remembrance pricked her and she was lost.
"Ack!"
Memories came rushing back all at once, beating at her brain in a pounding migraine, forcing her to frantically grit her teeth against it. Desperately gripping her head in both hands, the assassin found herself thrust into the abyss, the blissful numbness of sleep falling away to lay all her sins bare. Pain. Rolling over her in a crushing wave, each and every piece of her bitter past experiences laid her low she was powerless to do anything about it. Guilt. Regret. Sorrow. It made no sense in the worst of ways, and yet at the thought of her dark deeds she found herself coming undone all over again.
With a cry she jolted upright, all thoughts of her mother's cooking falling to the wayside as countless memories came flooding back.
Gerard.
Talon.
Brainwashing.
She remembered.
"Oh, god!"
Grief nearly crippled her on the spot and she stumbled forward, a strangled sob leaping from her throat.
"No," she murmured, gritting her teeth against the sea of images. "I didn't...I don't want to remember!"
Scarce had Amelia's feet found the floor again than her body turned traitor and her legs buckled, causing her to lose her footing in spite of her best efforts to stand firm. Unfortunately, she made it to the stairs before collapsing completely. She regretted her poor choice almost immediately; for weakened as she was, she found herself unable to her skull striking a wooden step with a harsh crack. Even with her migraine exacerbated to insane heights by her tumble and fall, she barely felt herself crash down the stairs. Talon's enhancements soon turned what should have been a bruising fall into barely the slightest throb of pain. Amelie barely even noticed of it at all beyond the pounding headache as it consumed her. If this...if this was what it was like to remember, to feel again, she'd much rather be numb. She'd rather forget. Rather be numb. Everything was sudden and fresh and so raw and she couldn't think, couldn't see, couldn't-
"Whoa there, sunshine!" A rough voice intruded upon the debilitating haze, "You're gonna break something!"
With a start the pain receded and Widowmaker's world spun back into focus, leaving her gasping for breath. Before she could discover the cause of this sudden lull, a pair of firm arms wrapped around her and she found herself hoisted up off the floor, pulled into a warm embrace. A strange heady scent filled her nose, smelling of pancake batter, smoke, and...gunpowder? The latter absolutely confounded Amelie and for a fleeting instant the cleansed assassin forget to struggle against her captor.
But only for an instant.
"Easy, now." the voice soothed as its owner stroked the small of her back. "Just breathe. Its going to be alright. In. Out. In. Ouuuuuuut."
Then she realized just where the insufferable bastard was holding her and all hell broke loose.
"Just where are you touching, pervertir?!"
Bucking against his grasp she jerked her head to the right and swatted her rescuer headlong in the face with her hair, causing him to sputter and loosen his grasp on her. Eventually she gathered enough of her sanity to shake herself loose and stumble away in a daze. His smile only inflame her anger to a feverish degree and, indignant, she flung her hand out at him.
...you!"
"Me." the horned shinobi replied with a merry laugh as the frantic assassin spun away. "I'm sorry, where you expecting someone else?"
Widowmaker spat and lashed out at him with her heel, to no avail; he simply deflected the blow with an elbow and drifted past her. The faint aroma of pancakes was nearly overwhelming now, warm and replete with the gentle joys of home cooking. It looked just like home. The very one she'd shared with Gerard before the world turned on its head. But that...that was impossible. It had been destroyed during the uprising. Hadn't it? Her memories were still foggy, but her stomach roiled at the idea that she was all but standing in a piece of her past, where she'd taken her first steps into darkness.
"Take it back!" she rounded on him with a hiss as he circled round her, moving to the far end of the kitchen.
"Take it back?" Naruto scoffed. "What are you talking about?"
"My emotions!" stalking after him, Amelie seized the blond's wrist with the intention of stopping him, only to find herself dragged after the implacable ninja. "I don't want them! I don't want to feel...this!" her heart gave another painful lurch at that, a fresh pang of guilt reminding her of what she'd done. "Undo it!"
"No."
As such, her benefactor's flat refusal nearly floored Widowmaker.
"Why not?!"
"Sorry. No can do." ignoring her frantic pleas, the deity returned his attention to the stove and continued preparing the pancake batter, expertly pouring it onto the pan with the skill of an old hand. "I can't just snap my fingers and return you to the way you were. Wait, I lie. I could but trust me, you don't want me to. There'd be consequences."
Unwilling to be put down so easily, the assassin released her hold on the blond's limb and crossed her arms in angry defiance.
"What consequences?"
"Simple." those eerie gold eyes narrowed over his shoulder. "The cost would be too high. Your body wouldn't be able to pay the interest and you'd go into shock. In other words? You'd die."
Cost?
Interest?
Cheeky bastard!
Amelie glowered bloody red daggers at him and something in her snapped.
Swearing in French, she lunged.
"Je te couperai si bien tu ne saigneras pas avant demain!"
To his credit, Naruto didn't resist her assault, nor did he make any attempt to avoid her; rather, he took the full brunt of her blow even as her hand clenched into a claw. He didn't flinch as her fingernails tore a bloody swathe across his visage, didn't turn his face aside, didn't even. As she looked on, the crimson tears in his face immediately wound themselves back together, leaving naught but flawless skin behind. Exhaling deeply, the battered blond fixed her with a slightly bemused look.
"Satisfied?"
Before Widowmaker could move to strike him anew, a dark blur interposed itself between them and seized hold of her. Someone-or something-seized her arm and jerked it backward with enough force to physically displace her from the floor, leaving her dangling in the air like a fish on a hook. It didn't take long to find her captor; she had only to risk a glance over her shoulder to behold the one responsible.
Eyes the color of violet rubies glowered down at her.
"Do not strike him."
...what in the blue hell?!"
She found herself staring at something that wasn't truly human, nor could it be called alien.
Shades of purple, green and black, he looked almost humanoid.
Almost.
Despite his relatively small frame, the newcomer looked absolutely lethal; a stark contrast from the snickering deity she'd nearly struck a heartbeat before. Bearing two long antennae on his ears as well as a large shell-like helm that seemed to sprout up over his head, he radiated subtle menace in spite of cold violet eyes and foreign appearance. As if that weren't maddening enough, he possessed a vicious-looking tail equipped with a stinger as slender as it was sharp. Said tail was currently coiled around her wrist, preventing her from lashing out. Those cold, frigid orbs found hers, daring her to protest.
"I will not repeat myself again." the strange being intoned, his voice eerily akin to that of a slow moving avalanche grinding its way down a mountain. "Behave yourself or you will be disciplined."
"Release me, you buffoon!"
By contrast striking him-or it?-was akin to driving her fist against an iron wall. Amelie experienced the consequences of her hasty act almost immediately; she felt her fist tremble from the blow and the pale skin of her knuckles tear painfully. Agony snarled up her arm and she hissed against the stark reminder that she could no longer easily shrug of blows as she'd used to. She paid dearly for her mistake, as her captor seized her by the arm and promptly proceeded to twist it backward at an unnatural angle.
"Please don't break our guest, Meruem." Naruto's voice sang from across the kitchen. "That'd be rude. Let her go."
The stranger, now known to Amelie as "Meruem" pivoted abruptly, turning his blank gaze on Naruto.
"Why do you tolerate such insolence?" he inquired, sounding baffled. "She struck me. It seems only right that I do the same to her."
"Oi."
Strange how a single word could convey such menace.
For a terrifying moment, Widowmaker feared "Meruem" would make good on his threat.
Then:
"Very well."
With an annoyed grunt the strange creature relinquished his hold on Amelie, leaving her to rub at her aching wrist. Shooting her captor a rueful glare over her shoulder, she allowed herself to be ushered to a chair at a nearby table and all but sank into it with a shudder. For a moment-just a fleeting moment-she'd glimpsed death in those merciless eyes, and it had humbled her. A cold pit of dread opened in her stomach, and she felt as though she might fall into it at any moment and never emerge again. Was this what fear felt like? She decided she could do without it.
"Who was that?"
"Oh, this guy?" Naruto sighed as he placed a piping hot plate of pancakes before him, "That's Meruem. He goes by plenty of titles, ant king, the destroyer, the merciless one, but I like to call him Mer. He's an old friend-
Sharp eyes flicked backwards.
"I am not your friend."
"And yet here you are," the horned one pointed out wryly. "Helping me. Isn't that what friends do?"
"I am merely repaying a debt. I do not wish to speak more of this."
"Don't mind him." Naruto laughed as the newcomer angrily padded away into an adjacent room, "He's shy, but he's got a good heart. That, and he likes my cooking. Now, come, come! The food's still warm."
Widowmaker eyed the offered meal reluctantly.
"I don't want to eat."
"Yes, yes, you do, Amelie." the whiskered warrior corrected with a patient sigh. "Stop being so damn melodramatic. Here, look at me. Hey! Look at me!" He growled at her when she tried to avert her gaze, seizing her by the face and pinching her cheeks when she fought back. Eyes the color of poisoned honey bored into hers with frightful intensity; sick-ghastly-unnatural orbs that had no business being that color. Hadn't they been blue before? Try as she might she couldn't bring herself to look away; like a deer staring death in the face, it felt as if she were the prey, and he the predator.
Squirming, she managed to muster a sliver of protest.
"Release me at once!"
"You want to feel something?" Naruto snarled over her protests, baring sharpened fangs in her face, "Try feeling anger. Fury. Talon screwed up your life. They fucked you. Them. Not me." Clicking his teeth in angry admonishment, he released his hold on her face leaving Amelie to massage her sore jaw. "You want to do something with these new emotions?" he didn't give her time to answer that question as he rounded on her again, thrusting a clawed finger against her nose, "You want direction? Go after them. Hunt them down. Make them pay for taking your husband from you. For turning your world upside down. But for now, sit down, shut up, and eat your fucking breakfast, young lady!"
Widowmaker found herself torn.
"Why?" she dared. "Why are you going to such lengths to help me?"
"Because someone has to set you straight." came the cold retort. "Pity is the last thing you need right now."
The words struck her like a slap in the face. Trapped in her grief and guilt as she'd been, she'd never once stopped to consider who the true enemy was. Everything had been too fresh, too raw for her to think rationally. It hadn't just been difficult; it had proved utterly impossible. As cruel as it might sound, the blond's stern reality check did just that, bringing Amelie back to her senses. More importantly, it gave her pause. Yes, perhaps he made sense. He wasn't the one to focus on. Talon was. With this realization came anger, but also relief. Focus. A target. Something to channel all her negative emotions against.
It almost made her feel alive again.
...suppose I believe you." she ventured warily, still refusing to eat, "Why should I stay?"
His grin grew incrementally.
"Simple. I have fresh coffee. Catch!"
Even distraught as she was and distracted by the sudden mood swing, Amelie remembered her training. Talon had carved it into her with such force and precision that it was impossible to forget. Her body-that is to say her muscles-remembered all too well even if her brain remained distraught, and her arm shot out, snagging the steaming cup of coffee before it could dash itself against the wall. Not a moment later, the piping hot liquid found itself soothing the dry desert that was her throat, chased down by a mouthful of food. Seeing the blond's expectant expression, the widow relented with a sigh.
...not bad."
Naruto laughed.
"Can I get you another?"
She all but lobbed the mug at him.
"Ha! Coming right up, then! Extra hot!"
Her hand shot up, snagging the mug from him.
"Come to Amelie you sexy, caffeinated son of a bitch."
Her host offered the slightest of bows and chuffed softly.
"Now that's more like it. Give me a sec and I'll brew a fresh pot."
Several minutes of prolonged silence passed between them as Widowmaker savored her sweet, succulent caffeine, the lull broken only the occasional clatter from upstairs. At length, she realized the insufferable deity was actually waiting for her to speak. Once, she would've scoffed at such a thing. Now, she found herself exhausted merely by the thought of it. There was just something so infuriating about him, and yet she sensed that he was genuinely trying to help her despite his witty remarks. Morseo, he'd given her emotions a target.
Talon.
They were the ones responsible for all of this; they were the ones who had stripped her emotions away, followed by her husband and finally her life. Merely glancing at her pale blue hands served as a reminder; without outside intervention she'd never truly be human again. Perhaps not even then. They'd taken her, broken her, made her their tool her, until she no longer knew how to feel. They'd gladly do the same to others. Who was to say they hadn't already? Her knuckles whitened around the mug at the thought. Vengeance would come, and it would be a slow, burning wrath.
A painful one.
"Might want to ease up there." Naruto's voice pierced the red haze haze of her molten fury, "You're going to break your cup."
Relcutantly, Widowmaker relented.
Her stomach chose that moment to remind her that she hadn't eaten in days.
Naruto arched an eyebrow.
"So you are hungry, Widow-chan."
The assassin colored to the very toots of her hair.
That name.
She hated it.
Despised it.
Loathed it.
"Don't...don't call me that."
"What should I call you then?"
What indeed?
...Amelie will do." it still hurt, using her true name, but anything was better than title Talon had given her.
"Amelie-chan, then." her host folded his arms and leaned back, conjuring himself his own plate of pancakes. "Don't hold back on my account. By all means, dig in."
Her hands moved seemingly of their own accord, snatching up utensils.
"You really aren't going to take them back, are you?" she asked between bites. "My emotions, that is."
"I am not." the blond reaffirmed readily. "That would be cruel."
"You're an absolute bastard, you know that?"
"Damn straight. A bit of thanks would be appreciated, ya know."
"Merci, papa." she muttered dryly, then paused, suddenly curious. "Still, how did you even...?"
"Hmm." the blond considered for a moment, frowning. "I suppose you could think of what I did like...alchemy. The science of understanding, deconstructing, and reconstructing matter. However," he held up a finger when she tried to argue, "Contrary to popular belief, it's not an all powerful art. It is impossible to create something out if nothing, even for me. More so if you want to undo an act. If one wishes to obtain something, something of equal value must be given. This is the law of equivalent exchange, the basis of all things. With me so far?"
Amelie managed a hesitant nod.
...I believe so."
"Great!" laughing, the self-professed deity clapped his hands together with a resounding pop. "So! To summarize, I had to override your brainwashing with brute force and doing that screwed with my nervous system, among other things. Granted, I couldn't undo everything; probably why you're still blue and I've got these bad boys. Oh?" a clawed digit tapped at his burning, golden eyes in spite of her flinch. "Wondering about that, were you? Mental strain was a bitch to fix. Don't worry, it'll fade in a few decades. Until the, I suppose you could say we match." Ah, but where are my manners? Bastion! I've made more food!"
A mighty crash answered from upstairs and before Amelie could inquire to its origins, the ceiling imploded to drop a massive omnic squarely atop Naruto's end of the table.
"What in the blue hell?!"
As the dust settled and the chaos cleared, it took Amelie several seconds to realize she'd made several mistakes. First; she was reaching for a gun that was no longer there, and second; said omnic had made no moves to attack her. Of course, it didn't help that he'd completely shattered the table and almost crushed her to a bloody pulp...!
"Bastion!" Naruto's muffled voice chided from somewhere in the haze, "Was that really necessary? You could have taken the stairs."
An apologetic trill answered.
"Well, alright. Don't do it again."
Amelie easily recognized the battered omnic unit from previous skirmishes in the past; what she failed to recognize however, was the pancake presently glued to what amounted to its face. Trundling past her, the towering bot did a sharp turn and happily snatched up a fresh plate of food, tweeting loudly. Whilst the ex-assassin looked on in quiet disbelief the cheery robot presented the now-dusty loaves to a bemused looking Naruto, who had not only somehow survived being crushed underneath several tons of metal but appeared perfectly intact in spite of it.
"Beep-dee-beep!"
"What's that?" the deity cocked his head. "You want to be able to eat more pancakes? Alright. Apologize to Amelie, first. I think you gave her a heart attack."
To her dismay, the towering robot actually managed a stiff bow, followed by a long mournful note.
Was she actually feeling pity for this thing...?
"No, its fine...
"Right, then."
Before her very eyes, the enigmatic blond waved his hand and Bastion seemed to physically inhale despite his lack of lungs. Not a heartbeat later and the pancakes were nowhere to be seen. As if the omnic had simply devoured them by the simple-impossible!-act of breathing.
"How did you even...?"
"Oh, that?" Naruto waved her concerns aside as the satisfied bot trundled away with a noise eerily akin to that of a belch,. "Magic. What else? If they want to eat pancakes, I say let them eat pancakes. There's nothing wrong with wanting a little humanity, is there?"
Ouch, low blow, that.
"You have...strange friends. And strange tastes."
"HA!"
She wasn't expect the noise that followed.
Laughter burst out of Naruto in a sharp bark of disbelief as he tumbled to the floor, physically clutching at his sides to stave off a fit of mad giggling. Straightening, he wiped a mirthful tear from his eye and restored the table to its former glory, seats and all. Claiming one such seat, he crossed his legs and fixed her with a steely look.
"Strange? You think this is strange? Oh, you don't know the half of it!" he laughed anew, slapping his knee. "This? This is tame compared to what I usually do. I'm fairly certain Rem's wandering around here somewhere. Be glad you ran into Meruem instead of her. She's the jealous sort and I don't think she'd take kindly to you."
"Rem?"
"Yeah." the blond replied sagely, steepling his fingers. "Rem is best girl, as the kids these days say. Picked her up from morbid little universe about a week ago. I make contracts with people like her all the time. Just consider me a good samaritan...and the occasional troll."
"Why?"
"Boredom, really? No? Alright," he amended at her withering look. "I'll be serious, then. To quote an old friend of mine?" Naruto paused, shoveling down a mouthful of pancakes into his maw. "Because I can. If not me, then who? The power of one man doesn't amount to much. But, however little strength man is capable of... they'll do everything humanly possible to protect the people they love, and in turn they'll protect the ones they love. I envy that. When you ascend to godhood, its really easy to forget the little things that make one human. Tiny things, like helping someone. Small things like bonds. It seems like the least we tiny beings can do for each other."
Amelie paused and leaned back in her fractured chair, considering the truth of those words.
...that's actually rather profound, coming from one such as you."
"Meh, they're Mustang's words, not mine." Naruto rolled his shoulders in a halfhearted shrug. "I've never been one for grand speeches or rattling sabers. Way I see it, I am what I am. Helping you is just the start. When I'm finished with this world, I intend to make it clear that war-mongering groups like Talon won't be tolerated. And If I get to have a bit of fun along the way, all the better."
"You do know Talon will come for you." she felt bound to warn him. "Surely you realize this?"
Naruto cackled.
"I'm counting on it. In fact-
As if on cue, a low tremor shook the room.
"And that would be mister edgelord himself." the blond sighed, pushing himself up from the table. "Right on cue. Why, its almost like someone led him here. What are the chances...?"
Amelie's head snapped around like a broken whip.
"You didn't."
"Ahhhh, but I did!" Naruto crowed. "
As Amelie looked on, the whiskered warrior once more seemingly conjured something from next-to-nothing; this time transmuting the fork in his hand into a high-powered radio and headset. One that somehow fit upon his heat despite his towering horns. Adjusting the microphone, he tapped it once, twice, three times, likely in a strange code she didn't understand. The orders that followed however, were anything but.
"This is Big Boss to all units. We've got intruders. You know the drill."
The blond's grin threatened to split his visage.
It was not a pleasant thing, that smile.
Not by any measure of the word.
"Give 'em a warm welcome."
And all hell broke loose.
A/N: Cry havoc and let slip the dogs of madness and war! Expect all sorts of hijinks and mayhem ahead and vote for the pairings! As a side note I always felt bad for Widowmaker. She's been in a hell not of her own making for awhile now, and I don' see her coming out of anytime soon. So! I threw her a lifeline in the only way I knew how. Also, fuck Talon. Fuck, fuck, fuck em. I did some reading on the organization and they're a real bag of dicks! Not to say that I hate Reaper and Sombra, not at all!
This is going to be one hell of a wild ride, updated REGULARLY NOW, depending on whether you guys like it. I've finally got a damn schedule for this! I'm also accepting beta readers at this time, so if you're down for that, have at it.
What does Naruto have planned you ask?
Why, you'll have to stay tuned for that!
So in the Immortal Words of Atlas...
...Review Would You Kindly?
And Naturally...
...ENJOY THE PREVIEWS! HOPE YOU ENJOY!
(Previews)
Click.
Genji frowned.
Looked downward.
...what on earth is...?"
"Yeah, you're gonna need healing after this."
THOOM.
"People of Earth! This is a challenge to you from yours truly," the hologram boomed, towering over King's Row. "I'm throwing down the gauntlet! Overwatch! Talon! You have one week to kill me! If you don't, kiss your planet GOODBYE! Oh, and just to make things absolutely clear and prove I'm not bluffing...
With a shuddering sputter, the lights went out, the entire city going black.
Sombra swore silently as she stared up at where the towering projection had been.
"Um...araña? What he is doing?"
"Hmm. I'm not sure. I think he just broke the world. And the internet."
"Fix it, fix it, FIX IT!"
;3