Chapter One
It was the first Sunday of summer. There was no sun to keep my mood from falling. The thunder was ten times louder than I'd ever heard it in the tiny town of Forks, Washington.
It was nine in the morning. I chose not to sleep in though. My dad, Charlie, had agreed to let me redesign the dining room, which we never used. I decided it was time we started spending more time together with my seventeenth birthday less than two weeks away. A dining room that wasn't a wreck would probably help. And it did pass time.
My boyfriend was Edward Cullen. He was taking me to Olympia to find some new plates, a new table without thirteen year old drawings in Crayon on it, and matching chairs. Edward was picking me up any minute.
We hadn't been dating very long, but the change he brought out in me was so obvious. Dad noticed how I wore colors Edward liked on me--black and blue mostly. I also dressed more femininely. I was almost always smiling. I was happy with Edward there and he always was. Dad moved curfew from ten to eleven, but I guessed his trust was put in me not to do anything stupid--not Edward.
We were always together. I liked it that way. Before school ended, he would pick me up in the morning, walk me from class to class--though he had only been in two of them--he would drive me home where we did our homework, talked, watched movies, or whatever came to mind. We went on ten hour walks on the weekends after Dr. Carlisle Cullen, Edward's adopted father, gave me a clear bill of health after I broke my leg, several ribs, and I also had Mono at the time. On our walks, Edward would walk human speed with me until I grew tired. Then he would put me on his back and take me to some beautiful place I'd never seen before. They were all in Forks or just outside the small town, but they seemed unreal. Like the kinds of places found in fairy tales and fictional stories.
At night, Edward would come in through my window, hum me to sleep while I laid in his arms. I would sleep and he would watch me. He called me "Ma Vie", meaning my life in French. I remembered those words that he spoke not a month before. You are my life now. And I remembered how he called me his perfectly blossomed rose. It had been something he told me before and now I had it tattooed on my lower back. He was my everything and he said I was his life.
Edward arrived and parked behind my burgundy Acura RL. Plus my 1983 Chevy pickup, which was still covered in mud from one of our last adventures. It had been one of the few dry--but not sunny--days since I moved to Forks that February. We found an old dirt road outside town and Edward suggested I try to push my truck to go a hundred miles an hour, the fastest I'd ever gone in any car. My biggest worry was having my engine blow up. But I did it anyway because I knew he would save me before anything happened. He was constantly saving me in one way or another, which brought a whole new meaning to the phrase "Knight in Shining Armor."
I had already taken the measurements of the dining room twice to be sure, so we left right away. Edward was a vampire and he was obsessed with speed. So the trip to Olympia flew by. I found out his secret in April, and I knew how much he wanted to blend into the human world around him. He was always with me now, which made it easier somehow. I knew how much he thirsted for my blood, but he loved me too much to lose control. He was truly my Knight in Shining Armor.
His pale white skin was as hard as rock. He was stronger than anyone I'd met before--except maybe his adopted brother Emmett. I knew the secret now. I knew several more details. On our walks, I asked for one more detailed explanation to add to my list. I knew how Edward sparkled like a million diamonds were embedded in his skin when he was in the sunlight, which made Forks the perfect place for him to live--it was almost completely sunless.
"So how old are you?" I asked as Edward parked between the furniture store and my favorite department store in Olympia.
"Seventeen," he answered, but he knew what I meant. He enjoyed seeing my reaction when he twisted the meaning of my questions.
"How long have you been seventeen?" I tried again.
"A while."
I rolled my eyes. "When were you born?"
Edward grinned because there was no way to twist that question really. He thought it was funny how long it took me to get to the right question, and it was in a way. "As a human, in 1901. As a vampire, in 1918," he answered, putting his arm around my waist. His tough had always been ice-cold, but it wasn't so bad anymore. I was somehow used to it. Or maybe I was colder too now that I had a run in with vampire venom. But not Edward's or his family's. Another vampire named James, who was now dead.
Most of my questions about vampires and so on were about Edward's unique talent of mind reading or how to kill a vampire. I considered six of the seven Cullens my family, and Rosalie--the seventh--wasn't so bad anymore. She could get through a visit without glaring at me. After my run in with James, when I was in the hospital, and Edward was trying to explain what happened, Rosalie announced that she had been mean to me, which caused me to break down and run away. It was a lie, but a good one that was entirely believable. But I knew seven different vampires, and I wanted to know what would happen to me if another vampire came after me. I wanted to know how much it took to kill one. Edward never gave me specifics and I was unconscious when James was killed, but I knew it took a lot. That made me feel a little less worried about the Cullens being hurt. But Edward never told me it was impossible to kill one because it was possible. So some of that fear remained.
We entered the furniture store first. We were immediately the center of attention and I knew why. Edward was gorgeous. Inhumanly, unworldly beautiful. Tall, muscular, pale with bronze hair, and topaz eyes--he went hunting that morning while I was getting ready to go. I was shorter than him, slim, no extraordinary beauty or features, though Edward told me a hundred plus times how much he loved my green eyes. Me being with Edward looked strange physically when he could have chosen from so many girls who were more beautiful. But Edward and I went well together, our characters mixing for the perfect combination.
One of the young, female employees ran forward. "Hi, can I help you find anything?" she asked Edward. As usual, I was ignored. Edward's charm and beauty was just as irresistible with me on his arm.
"No, but thank you," I said, trying to sound pleasant, but it didn't work. I hated when girls flirted with Edward, especially while I was there. My presence only scared a few of them off. But I, more than anyone else, knew how beautiful he was. I couldn't blame them, but I could still despise them for it. And I did.
"Let me know if you need any help," the girl said.
Edward kept an arm around me all the time. His reflexes were fast enough to catch me if I tripped, even if he didn't have an arm around me all the time. He chose to keep his arm around my waist anyway. I smiled up at him as we walked towards the small display of tables. I knew what I wanted for the dining room exactly. Dad gave me a thousand dollars, but I secretly planned to spend some money out of my massive bank account too. It was the only way I could get what I wanted.
Edward's talent of mind reading had one exception--me. But I told him what I wanted the night before when he was in my room. I wanted an oak table. Antiques were probably too much unless we could find a garage sale with one, but a dark oak finish was the one big requirement. Matching chairs was another.
It took two hours to decide on a table. Whenever I was sure I had decided, Edward would point another one out just to see my reaction. He loved it when I got mad. I wasn't truly angry. But annoyed. So two hours were wasted. After we paid for everything, arranged the delivery, and son on, Edward and I walked towards the door. On the way though, he stopped at the beds. He laid down with a grin. I laughed at how relaxed he looked and laid down next to him. He hugged my shoulders and I rested my hand on his shoulder, like I usually did. It was like the perfect height, the perfect length, just perfect for my head to rest on.
"You know, I've never given you a tour of my house," he pointed out. I had been to his house multiple times, but I was never given an official tour. Probably because there were things that revealed their secret and I didn't know before. "You should come over later. Esme loves cooking and we don't eat."
I smiled. Esme Cullen was darling! She was sweet and had so much life in her. Red hair, which gave her an excuse for her pale, vampire skin. She loved me, which she constantly reminded me whenever we saw each other. Whenever I came over, she fixed me plates and plates of food, which I could never eat all of. She reminded me a lot of my dear mother, Nancy. Only Mom couldn't cook. But both Esme and Mom were extremely loving. Mom was obsessed with every detail of my relationship with Edward. She cried for days after she got the picture album I sent her from my prom. She cried because she was sad she hadn't been there, because I looked pretty, because I was so grown up, because I looked happier than I'd ever been before--and I was. She cried because Edward looked good, because it was my first prom, because I'd actually danced-even though I had been standing on Edward's feet. Even because she thought it was sad I had a broken leg.
Edward ran his fingers along my arm lightly. I glanced up at him with a smile. The way he touched me always gave me butterflies. It made my heart pound. Edward loved that. It always made him laugh how easily he took my breath away.
"How long have you been married?" a sweet voice asked, and I forced myself to look away from Edward's face. It was an old lady, probably about eighty years old.
"Oh, we're not," I told her with a smile.
"Really? I haven't seen a young couple look at each other like that for forty years. How long have you been together?"
"Since late February," Edward answered, squeezing my hand. "She just moved here the second week of February."
"So romantic! So few young couples really love each other anymore. But I can tell you do. I used to look at my late husband that way. May he rest in peace. He was very romantic. The boys who really know how to sweet talk the girls always get the best one. None of that nonsense now. I'm talking real sweet talk," she continued. It was strange... Unexpected. "Well, the best advice I can give you is to use the heads God gave you and not screw things up."
Edward and I smiled at each other as she walked away, then burst into laughter when we were sure she couldn't hear. I covered my face in embarrassment and he kissed my forehead, still chuckling. He helped me off the bed then. I pulled my shirt down and we left the store to go clothes shopping--not that I needed anymore clothes. I watched Edward shift through the shelves. He always enjoyed finding me a ton of unneeded clothes to buy me. "I have a trust fund, ya know?" I called out. "You don't have to pay for anything."
Edward laughed. He knew I was trying to convince him not to pay for anything. I hated when he spent money on me. "I want to. How much is your trust fund worth anyway?"
I shrugged. "Few million," I answered distantly. "My biological father invented games. He made tons of money, tons of games too. Left all the money to me, stuck it in a huge bank account that piled up with interest. And I have my money from modeling too."
Edward nodded. "You going back to Los Angeles anytime this summer?" We spent more time staring at each other and talking about vampires than anything else. We hardly even knew what the other planned for summer--or if they had plans. But that wasn't necessarily important because I was sure we would spend the entire summer together. Every moment, every time I blinked my eyes, I knew he would be there.
Mom, her new husband Ted, and my younger brother Michael all lived in LA, not to mention some of my closest friends. Visiting them was something I had to do. And I wanted Edward to come, but I knew that wasn't possible. Not unless the sun would disappear for a few days, but I knew the LA sun a little too well--I was raised there most of my life.
"Not for more than two weeks," I answered as we headed towards the dressing room. "I'd miss you like hell if I was gone any longer than that. And I'd miss you a ton in two weeks anyway."
"I could..." Edward said thoughtfully. I yanked the dressing room door open again, waiting for him to continue. Already, I had my hopes up. "Well, I could go if I stayed out of the sun. I could stay inside if we could come up with a billion excuses not to go to the beach and so on. I would like to meet your friends. You talk about them more and more lately. Do you miss them that much?"
I nodded, but he couldn't see because I had closed the dressing room door and locked it already. "More than that," I answered, slipping out of my jeans. "I don't know why, but I have like these... seizures I guess. Just everyone once in a while, I start missing them a ton. But they're getting really bad. I miss Phoebe especially."
"I can tell. Your voice changes whenever you say her name, you know?"
"She helped me figure you out. The genius she is! She told me to ask your enemy about you. I asked Jacob Black because he was the only enemy I knew of. He told me about the treaty, but not much else. Probably just being over protective. I researched online a ton and finally found the answer. All because Phoebe suggested that I should ask your enemy," I explained, smiling at the memory.
"Ah! The internet--good for anything."
I laughed, looking at my reflection in the mirror. I wore a pair of red skinny jeans Edward picked out and a black tank top with a guitar on the front. "I really wish I would have figured it out sooner though. It would have saved you--and me--a lot of pain and trouble," I continued as I stepped out of the dressing room to show Edward.
He smiled at me through the mirror, my back to his front. He caressed my abs lightly. "You look great!" he told me.
"You along with Alice are making me a shopping addict," I muttered, and Edward laughed.
"Good thing you have a few million left in your trust fund, huh?"
"More once my dad's given the lethal injection," I replied quietly. "He has another billion or something in his bank account. I get all of it. Nice of him after he killed twelve of my friends, huh? And countless others."
Edward could hear the disgust in my voice. Anyone could. But from one of our late night conversations, he also knew how much I was dreading the day when my biological father would be executed for his crimes. In his case, money couldn't save him. I knew he deserved death. I wanted him to die, but his death was only a few years away if his appeals exhausted by that time and if he didn't manage to seek out some deal with the district attorney. I couldn't decide if I wanted to meet him or not. Edward knew about my debate. I wanted to meet him because he created me, because he was my blood. But I didn't want to because I didn't want to speak to the man who destroyed the life of twelve of my friends and so many more. I needed to know him because it would help me know myself, but I didn't need to know him because he had wanted to kill me, tried to kill me. He didn't deserve to know me. But my too-kind nature somehow found pity for him through my hatred, and I continued my debate.
"You could decide once you're there if you want to talk to him or not," Edward suggested. "I think you'd feel better after you talked to him though."
I nodded thoughtfully. Probably. If I didn't break down and completely lose it, yell at him, scream out all the horrible things I thought about him. I groaned, leaning back against Edward. "Maybe just before he's executed, but I'd probably kill him."
I felt Edward smile. He always shifted slightly whenever he did. He knew my temper and how much I meant every word I said. "We should fly down sometime. Charlie could order the tickets. Alice could tell us what the weather will be like for sure. We could stay at your mom's and throw a party so I could meet all your friends," he suggested.
I shook my head. "After meeting the biggest bastard alive, I could never go to a party," I replied. There were so many people in the world who had done things even worse, killed more people in worse ways. But he was the biggest bastard out of all of them because he had bred me. I had been adopted by the best parents in the world, Charlie and Nancy, but the fact that my blood was a killer's had always tormented me... until I found out Edward's secret. And then it wasn't so bad.
Edward proved, all the Cullens proved, that one didn't have to act like what they were. They all lived with society as humans. They fed off animal's blood, not people's. They made a choice not to be killers. And I made my decision never, ever to follow in my parents' footsteps. I would never murder anyone. Never.
On the way home, I had my knees up to my chest, arms hugging my legs. I wasn't even buckled. I trusted Edward's driving, so I didn't bother. "Is Carlisle the only reason you hunt animals?" I asked quietly, playing with the radio, which wasn't even on.
"He's part of the reason, but most of it--most of why I started living off animal's blood--was because I don't want to be a monster." He cupped the back of my neck. "And now you're my reason. I don't want you to see me as a monster."
"I don't," I told him quietly. "Never have. And I never will, Edward. I see you as a being, a person, who was put in a situation you didn't want and weren't prepared for. You're a good person!" I smiled at him. Now that I knew what he was, I had to reassure him often that I didn't see him as a monster. I saw him as my Edward--good from the inside out, respectful, trustworthy. He was my angel. I couldn't get by without him. The sunny days were the worst because those were the days Edward was gone. Other than that, he hunted while I was asleep or getting ready for school. And it was like he would never leave me. I loved that feeling of security he gave me.
Dad was home from work when we parked in front of the house. His police cruiser was covered in mud, which told me it ha dbeen a busy day. Edward and I carried my bags inside. They were many. "Wait, she just walked in," Dad said into the phone and switched on speaker. "Your mom."
"Hey, Mom! What's up?"
"Well, I got a call to day. They've been asking for you left and right, honey. They want you in another fashion show soon. It's a good opportunity and now that school's out... I was thinking like Victoria's Secret."
"Mom! No! I don't even think that's legal while I'm under aged. And I don't want to do any lingerie. Ever."
"Honey, they pay well! Are you saying no because you think Edward won't like it? Two years ago, you would have jumped at the opportunity. You didn't even take time to think about it. You're almost seventeen. You could be a Victoria's Secret model on your eighteen birthday, baby. Do you know how many girls want that so bad?"
"I don't need time to think about it, Ma. And, yes, Edward wouldn't like it, but that's not the only reason I'm saying no, okay?" I set my bags down quickly to give me free hands. "I don't want the whole world looking at my body, and I've gained weight since moving to Forks. I appreciate the offer, and it's a good chance, yes, but no. I'll do anything else. High fashion, Gap, commercial, that's fine. As long as I don't have to be gone from Forks for very long."
"Okay, fine. I also got a call from one of Ted's movie director friends. He wants to give you a lead roll. Shooting doesn't start until September. You could come up for six weeks to film it. I think you'd really like the part. It's like a mix of Mulan and Pirates of the Caribbean."
I rolled my eyes. Mom was intent on making me the most famous person alive. "Okay, I'll think about that one too. But that's gonna be really hard with school. I don't mind missing school, but six weeks is a long time."
"You could move home again. You could go to that junior college you've always wanted to go to. There are ways to work it out."
I sighed quietly enough so that she couldn't hear. She would go crazy if I decided to give up modeling. I loved it, and she knew I did. She knew my life had been based around my work schedule before. So I glanced at Edward apologetically. He still had to adjust to the crazy summer modeling stuff I was used to. "How about I come up for a few weekends every summer? You can pick the designers and the shows. No lingerie, no bikinis, or anything like that. Not even a tube top, okay?"
"Okay. I love you, baby."
I smiled, too happy to care that two days of my week every few weeks would be spent without Edward. No matter how short our separation was, it was like we hadn't seen each other in a year. And it made me realize that my love for Edward and his for me was truly unfathomable. It was real and I couldn't live without him.
And there were always ways so that Edward could be able to come to LA. I could work something out. "Anything else, Ma?" I asked because I could hear the excitement in her voice that went father than my planned weekend visits.
"Ted wants to sign a record deal with you!" Mom shouted out in a voice that made it seem like it was a secret she kept inside for a thousand years. "It would be like a rock deal too, your own style, your own music. You could record it at home or he even went as far as to find a recording studio in Seattle. He said your sound would be a huge hit. It's unique. You have a good voice too! That's it though. Music, modeling, movie, and music," she listed. Those were my three possible tickets to fame so far, though I wasn't exactly sure if she'd considered asking me to write a book yet. She was determined to make sure I was the most famous girl in Forks, and I already was because I was dating Edward Cullen! But she didn't believe that.
There was always the possibility that people would think Mom was pushing me to become famous for herself. But they were wrong. She pushed me because she knew how much I wanted fame. I wanted to be a model, an actress, and a singer. That had always been my dream. But my relationship with Edward was starting to change that part of me too.
Edward was a vampire. His struggle to stay on the animal blood only diet wasn't something anyone would want publicized and definitely not the fact that he was a vampire. His yellow eyes--which changed to black when he was thirsty--would be debated. Celebrity news shows would call in however many doctors they needed until they found one that could tell the world what Edward was. He never got any older and that was another clue. Pale skin, unworldly beauty, strength, and speed. He was a vampire, but he was a good one. I loved him for who he was, not what he was.
"So how's the dating life?" Mom asked, sounding a little too interested. "How's Edward?"
I smiled at Edward, who enjoyed pretending he wasn't there listening to every word. Me blushing was the best part for him, and the worst for me. "He's great, Ma. We just got back from Olympia. We went shopping."
"Is he there? Honey! Why didn't you say something, Edward?"
"Sorry," he said, grinning at me.
"Oh, well. I have to go now. I love you both." Another give minutes passed and Mom continued to tell us how much she missed us and how much she loved us. She was so attached and I knew it had been painful for her to agree to let me live in Forks still. But she had agreed, which only told me how much she wanted me to be happy. She knew I was happy with Edward. So she said one last goodbye and finally hung up.
Edward's strong arms around me, I felt safe. My guilt for leaving Mom wasn't so bad then. I knew why I left, and it seemed selfish to me, but she knew the reason too, and I knew she wouldn't have it any other way. My happiness--and my brother's--was the most important thing to her. She made the sacrifice and I continued to be with Edward Cullen, the gentle, caring, beautiful, loving, self-conscious vampire. A year ago, vampires were jokes in the movies, gross fictional characters. But the Cullens proved me wrong on that. Vampires were some of the best people on the earth when they chose to be.