Wow thank you so much for all these amazing reviews seriously you guys have no idea how extremely giddy you've made me and I enjoyed reading your words as much as you enjoy reading mine. Thanks so much for the love and i send it right back.

Special thanks to keepxmexawake for going over my work and for all the stories of the Philippines and giving me the info, much appreciated. I know how much work it can be and I find it enjoyable so I hope you did as well.

Thanks again so much for reading and reviewing, hope you enjoy!

It's Not Just a Letter

"Babe do we have any more milk?" Scott looks above the top of the open fridge door looking at Spencer expectantly.

"Do you see a carton of milk in the fridge?" A smirk accompanies her question as she stares at her beau with narrow eyes as a smile plays on his lips.

He answers with a 'no' and the first year surgeon only lifts her shoulders and winks at him.

"Then I guess we don't have any more milk." She stands at the counter rifling through mail and squeals a little as she sees a letter from Ashley.

The amount of stamps that has affixed the envelope is always something that warmed the blonde's heart. No matter where Ashley is she always sends a letter. It has been like that since they were eight years old and she is glad that feeling hasn't left. She opens the thick envelope with excitement and begins to read the page. She erupts in laughter at the first line and she doesn't notice the wide eyes she receives from her fiancé.

Even though she got off the phone with brunette a few hours ago Spencer acts as if she were hearing from Ashley for the first time. She smiles as she reads the words on the page. Imagining the tone of her pen pal's voice, the facial expressions she wore, and the sounds she would make whenever she feels emotional.

The blonde is in such a trance as she reads her weekly note she doesn't feel the set of arms wrap around her waist. Captivated by everything Ashley has to tell her she doesn't feel the chin that's lightly resting on her shoulder. Her eyes snap open as she hears a chuckle in her ears and she jumps out of the man's embrace holding the letter to her chest.

"What are you doing?" She questions, mild disdain lacing her voice.

Scott is taken aback as he scratches his scruffy five o'clock shadow and searches for words to a circumstance that he felt self explanatory.

"I was reading your letter."

That is the wrong answer as Spencer's brows furrow in anger.

"No. You can't do that it's not yours to read."

"I thought we share things." He states a little confused as to what's happening and the quick mood change in his future wife.

"Yes we share everything except this." Spencer folds up the letter neatly. The same way she removed it from the envelope and waves it a little. She feels the wave is necessary just in case Scott doesn't know what she is referring to.

"It's just a letter Spence."

That is the wrong thing to say as Spencer grits her teeth.

"No it's not. It's just a letter to you because you don't know what it is, what it means. It's not your business to know. "

"Not my business? Spencer we're getting married you can't keep stuff like this from me!"

Scott crosses his arms as he tries to come off as adamant. The surgeon quirks her brow staring at her fiancé.

"Scott listen, if there was something for you to worry about with these letters then I'd let you know but they are for my eyes only. You have nothing to worry about."

She knows how to work her boyfriend of eight months, fiancé for the past two. No one thought to question the pace of their relationship everyone who saw them together can see that they obviously were crazy for each other. Their doting eyes, the gentle kisses, soft lingering smiles the perfect equation for a loving couple, many people thought them lucky and wished them the best.

Scott sighs and drops his shoulders. He pouts a little and Spencer goes on the balls of her feet and stretches up to kiss it away.

"I didn't come off as tough at all did I?" He asks and the blonde shakes her head no.

He just chuckles then nods placing a kiss atop her head. She smiles up at him her blue eyes look into his grey ones. He wraps his arms around her and pulls her close.

"I promise I won't read your letters again." She just nods once and holds back the biting remark that is percolating in her mind. As if he has a choice. "I love you."

Spencer gives him a reassuring smile. "Me too."

Scott's smile falters a little but he has gotten used to Spencer's rendition of 'I love you'. She feels like its such a big word that you can't toss it around all the time. Scott accepts that she says it when she feels it's necessary. 'Me too' is good enough for the man and kisses her again and gently smacks her butt.

"Gotta get going babe can't be late."

She looks at the time and curses under her breath . Quickly pushing herself away from Scott she grabs her messenger bag, carefully placing Ashley's letter under the flap and saying a quick goodbye as she heads out of the door.

She smoothly straddles her neon green and black Ninja 300 resting her helmet on her head. She bites her bottom lip in anticipation not being able to wait any longer to read Ashley's letter. Once she knows a new one is near it's all she can think about. Spencer carefully removes the letter from her messenger bag and unfolds it. She sighs as she closes her eyes trying to forget the fact that Scott tried to read it moments before. No, this is an exciting moment and one mistake of her fiancé will not take this away from her.

Pursing her lips the surgeon blows a steady stream of breath before she delves into her favorite person's words. She is running a few minutes late but there is always time for Ashley.

My Dearest Penguin,

How art thou? I'm feeling quite Victorian today. Speaking as if I were an Elizabethan and such and such and hither thither, and I'm done. I totally just named two different eras didn't I? I'm jetlag, I'm tired so cut me some slack chick, alright? So I'm exhausted and I'm hot! Not like I'm hot in looks (which I am) but hot in body temperature. No seriously like it's hotter than Satan's ass in the ninth circle of Dante's Inferno during a heat wave in the middle of an active volcano. I'm saved by a slight breeze every so often but no it's stupid hot here. Chase and I have only arrived yesterday and I'm pretty sure I've already sweated off five pounds. Fine, fine I'm moving on.

So I know you're excited cause you'll be seeing a super hot brunette in less than a month and being in California after this crazy heat I'll most likely be wearing mittens and one of those hats with the flaps over the ears. So how about I actually talk about the Philippines and not just about how hot it is here. First of all the people, freaking amazing, they are the sweetest group of people you will ever meet. They are so friendly, I've been invited into five different homes for food the first time I was a little cautious but the second home Chase just went waltzing in. After the long flight we had free food did sound amazing. Well free anything is amazing but free food is the absolute best, and the food here is delicious.

I have a shoot tomorrow. I am in Palawan shooting this festival called Santacruzan further down you will read about it since our letters are written throughout the week. It's funny no matter how long we make these things it never feels like enough. I write page after page, slip the pages into the envelope, lick the disgusting glue that I'd only lick for you, put a stamp on it and then realize I forgot to tell you something. There's never enough time is there Spence?

All this traveling and all your insane hours at the hospital and all we have is one day. It doesn't seem fair does it? I know a lot of it is my fault because I have to fly away so much believe me if I could I'd stay put with you. One day I'm sure I'll see you daily and I eagerly look forward to it. I miss you Penguin, I put in a request for some time off during our anniversary no word back yet but once I know you'll be the first to know.

Well day three and I've decided that I'm whisking you away to this beautiful island. I know you won't argue with me because my smirk is hypnotizing and you'll follow me anywhere. I'd follow you anywhere. Anyway the flowers in this festival are amazing, every color you can imagine. Dresses, arches, crowns were all made of flowers. There was a beauty pageant as well and they definitely stay true to the word 'beauty' because these women… Exotic, sexy, and jaw dropping and I think I may snag one of these contestant because my goodness. Let's just say I'm glad to be here for three weeks to enjoy this side of the world. If you know what I mean…which I'm sure you do it's redundant to say that but sometimes the cliché is necessary.

There are tons of hidden lagoons here, I'm getting some great footage and once I finalize the shots to send to the magazine I'll give you my favorites as usual. I would get great footage of you here under some waterfalls, the water is so clear. I wish there were better words to describe what I'm seeing it's like when someone asks me to describe you. Words just aren't enough it's something you have to experience. I'll make sure to bring you here one day. That's place what… one thousand that I'm taking you. We need to figure out a way to make it happen Penguin.

Sorry for all the wrinkles in the paper that's sweat dripping onto the page. No seriously it's that hot here. I warned you. Love you Penguin and see you soon.

Sincerely Yours,

Otter

Spencer releases a sigh of relief as she reads the end of the letter. As if she were getting a fix of a drug she went without for far too long. Her eyes dance over the part where Ashley mentions hooking up with one of the beauty pageant contestants. She chews the inside of her bottom lip as she pictures Ashley ogling beautiful women and her heart pangs a bit. She chalks up to the fact that she's sad that Ashley doesn't have someone to settle down with. Someone that loves her, the brunette can be so stubborn she ignores Spencer's argument to this claim every time they speak. The blonde pulls her helmet down checking to make sure it is fastened well. She places the letter back in her messenger bag, tossing it to rest on her back she grips the throttle and speeds down the street.

California Pacific Medical Center usually a half hour drive for a normal driver is done in half the time by the blonde as she rides her motorcycle into the lot. She dismounts her bike with ease and pulls her helmet from her head shaking her hair out. She hears a cat call and smirks at her friend.

"Good morning Sammie."

The red head gives her coworker a cheeky smile, wrapping her arm around Spencer's shoulder as they walk towards the hospital.

"Good morning love, how are you this delightful morning."

Spencer squints her eyes as she stares at her friend curiously. She rolls her eyes momentarily after as she realizes the reason for her friend's good mood.

"You got laid last night."

Sammie just blows on her nails and buffs them against her chest smarmily.

"What can I say Spencer the ladies love me."

Spencer chuckles as she opens the door leaving it open for her friend to enter. She wouldn't disagree Samantha is charming and quite the looker. The red head's features extremely appealing with her blue eyes and barely there freckles on her nose, a smirk that can make anyone blush. Spencer having fallen victim herself but Ashley's smirks always makes Spencer blush, makes her stomach flip along with make her knees go momentarily weak. There's no comparison.

"I'm sure they do, too bad you don't love them back." She reminds with a pop of her brows.

The first year surgeon tuts crossing her arms like a child. Spencer shakes her head as she internally questions what is with everyone this morning pulling a tantrum.

"You had to go there didn't you?"

She just shrugs as they enter the elevator. "I'm just saying Sam that you're a great girl you should find someone that wants more than just a one night stand with them."

That seems to be the theme running through Spencer's head as she remembers Ashley's letter.

"Ah but I did you're just getting married." She jokes adding a small pout making the blonde laugh. "Spence I don't want anything more than one night stands it gets messy and I don't do emotional. Things are easier this way."

And that is always the answer that Ashley gives to said theme. Spencer internally chuckles as she thinks that Samantha and Ashley would hit it off based on their appeal to noncommittal relationships. She swallows the idea down as she feels sick at the thought. She averts her attention back to Samantha and her liaisons with her one night stands.

"They're also lonelier."

"I'm not lonely. Are you?" Sammie asks with a quirked brow and Spencer stares at her with a side eye glance.

"If I were lonely I wouldn't be getting married."

The elevator jerks to a stop and Sammie is the first to exit the elevator. She walks backwards to continue her conversation with her friend from their first day. Easily maneuvering through the halls she constantly runs through she stares at the blonde blankly.

"Just because you're getting married doesn't mean you're not lonely."

"Oh really and what makes you think I'm lonely?"

"Cause you keep saying I am and you my dear are just projecting."

Spencer scoffs as she adjusts her messenger bag on her shoulder. "That's crap Sam, sorry I care."

Samantha opens up the door to the locker room and gets shoulder checked by the blonde. She groans grabbing the offended area.

"Geez grump calm down. Did you not get a letter from Ashley this week or something?"

Spencer glares at her friend as she walks into the locker room.

"You're an ass Sammie."

The woman stares at the blonde studying her face, she knows that look and she's only seen it once before.

"Come on Spence it's only a letter I'm sure it's just the post office running late again."

"I got a letter from Ashley and it's not just a letter and I'm not alone so drop it."

Samantha twists her face up a little. "You pregnant?" Spencer grits her teeth shaking her head with little frustration and slight humor building as she continues to look at her friend's face.

Spencer's silence causes the red head's eyes to widen. She leans closer to her the blonde whispering.

"Spence are you serious?"

The blonde erupts in laughter shaking her head. "No I'm not pregnant."

"Bipolar then because you changed moods way too quickly."

Spencer pouts then turns around. "Scott tried to read my letter this morning and I don't know I felt kind of violated."

Spencer walks away towards her locker and begins to change into her scrubs. Sammie's locker next to hers, she mirrors Spencer's routine.

"I mean I know it shouldn't bug me but it does and the feeling hasn't quite gone away."

"What's the big deal I mean it's just a…" Samantha stops quickly at the look the blonde is giving her. "…a way to get closer to you."

She saves herself and breathes a sigh of relief, she passes the Spencer storm that was headed her way.

"It's not just a letter its…it's my breath of fresh air. Do you get that?"

Samantha shakes her head no and Spencer sighs pulling her top over her head.

"Those letters are like having Ashley right beside me and I never see her. So they are her for me and him trying to read them was like getting to know a part of me that's not for him."

Sammie's brows crease as she looks at her associate. "Spence shouldn't you be giving him all of you if you're getting married I mean that is marriage you can't go into it with parts of yourself hidden from your future husband."

Spencer knows this to be true but this one thing she refuses to share. Ashley is hers and these letters were their secrets, their passions, their promises, and the love they have for each other. That's no one's business but Spencer's.

She slams her locker shut and adjusts her under shirt and scrubs to align comfortably. The red head places her hands on both the blonde's shoulders.

"Spencer do you have any secrets from Ashley?"

Spencer doesn't miss a beat as she answers. "No."

Samantha pats her friend's cheek softly. "You don't see anything wrong with that? She knows everything about you while Scott is still in the dark about stuff?"

Again Spencer is quick to answer. "No. He's not in the dark about anything. This is just my thing. Am I not allowed to have things?"

"How eloquent an argument."

"I hate your whole face."

Sammie just shrugs with a sly smile. "You can have things Spence. No one is saying you can't I'm just pointing out the difference between Ashley and Scott."

"Well that's simple I'm in love with one and I just love the other."

The red head watches as Spencer adjusts the stethoscope around her neck. Her hands on her hips she just watches the smirk dance across her face. She huffs, angrily pulling her long wavy hair into a high ponytail.

"What's with the smirk ass?"

Sam chuckles as she sits on the bench to tie her sneakers. She mumbles out a 'nothing' and shakes her head. She feels blue eyes on her consequently causing her to turn her head to the side so she can look at her frustrated friend.

She drops her head clasping her hands together. Her lips form into a thin line as she faces the blonde. She stands quickly never taking her eyes away from Spencer's.

"I was smirking because you're in love with one and just love the other."

The silence in the locker room is no longer as the rest of the crew files in. Spencer pulls her bottom lip into her mouth as she examines the woman in front of her.

"What are you implying?"

"Carlin!" The blonde cringes as she hears her resident shout her name. She peers from around Samantha and looks at the tall, pale woman sporting a quirked brow. "I'm sorry did you need me to say more in order to make you move?"

Spencer just shakes her head and quickly walks around her friend as she tries to figure out what Sammie saw in her words that she can't.

"Finnegan!"

Samantha quickly dashes next to Spencer and salutes her resident. Spencer tries to hide her smirk looking down at her sneakers.

The miniature woman glares at the sassy red head, putting her free hand on her hip while the other holds onto a clip board. Sammie clears her throat and lets her hand drop down to her side.

"You two are on my service today."

They both smiled softly because even though their resident is scary she's the best and they love being on her service. They quickly follow the woman out of the locker room and hold a whispered conversation.

"So are you still having your meeting with Ashley next week?"

"Definitely, we haven't missed a date in seventeen years."

"I can't believe it's only that one day out of a whole year."

Spencer looks away from her coworker and she gets over that fact. The idea always harder to contemplate each time she thought of it. She clears her throat as the sadness tries to envelop her very being.

"Yeah well her job makes her travel so much that it's hard for her to get away."

"Still I mean you girls are best friends, what kind of best friends only see each other once a year."

They both halt behind their resident as they wait for the elevator doors to open. Spencer slips her hands into the pockets of her white coat as Ashley's words loop in her head. 'There's never enough time is there Spence?'. She closes her eyes as the absence of her best friend consumes her heart. Internally answering the rhetorical question with no there isn't.

So let me know what you think, how you feel, what you liked, what you didn't...thank so much for reading all reviews are welcomed.