Chapter 2
"Oh Shit,Charles " I collapse back onto the chair behind me. "Good evening Molly" Charles sits in the chair beside me, I am lost for words. I look up to see Mum smiling and head off into the dining room adjacent to the kitchen. We are alone, you could cut the tension with a knife. "Hello Molly, are you not speaking, you seemed more than capable a few moments ago." The cheeky git, I still cant find the words, it has been over three years ago since we last spoke.
"Molly, I know this may come as a shock seeing me, I was visiting my parents. Just a coincidence, I spoke to David this afternoon, he said you were here, Molly speak to me please, you normally, I mean. Molly you left me, you promised you would never leave me."
What the hell. "What do you mean I left you, what has David said?" A shocked look flashes across his face. "David just said you and Justine were having problems." I stare into his chocolate brown eyes, I used to lose myself looking into his eyes. I probably still can if I let myself. I take a deep breath .
" My brother has no right to discuss my private life with you. How dare you, I am confused what do you mean I left you, if you can remember I was told to leave you alone." Charles has a puzzled look and runs his hand through his hair. "Molly please, I am so confused, I thought we were starting a relationship. One minute we were discussing the future the next minute you refused to take my calls. Then David informs me you are marrying a prick called Justine. Molly you hurt me, broke my heart. If it wasn't for Sam and the rehab I don't know where I would be." I really am puzzled "It was Rebecca" I whisper "What the fuck has Rebecca got to do with this?" Charles asks "She is your wife" I answer "She is most certainly not.." Charles looks horrified "What do you mean Charles?" I ask "We are divorced Molly." What the fuck, the bitch has ruined my life, the penny has dropped.
"Charles, Rebecca contacted me when you were staying at Headly. She said you were remarrying, you loved each other. You were making a fresh start for Sam and if I loved you I should let you go." I cant believe it, I was so gullible.
"Molly, why did you listen to her? "Charles asks "I don't know Charles, did David not tell you?" Charles shakes his head, I continue "I was suffering from PTSD, that is one of the reasons I quit and Justine. Looking back I was vulnerable I just couldn't take any more pain, it was easier to erase you from my life. I have loved you from being a teenager, I always will. Justine used to say there was three people in our marriage, he knew all about you. I confided in him when we first started dating. He helped me repair myself, I thought he loved me, I didn't love him, he met me when I was so vulnerable and feeling so low. I thought I could forget you but I never could."
Charles has tears in his eyes. " Molly we both could have saved ourselves from suffering from so much heartache. Molly I thought, never mind." Charles really needs to get this off his chest "No Charles what?" I ask, I need to know what he is thinking.
"I thought you were stringing me along until you had a better offer. I was so angry with myself, with you for allowing me to admitting my feelings after all those years of gazing at you from afar. That is why I never contacted you after your marriage " Bloody hell, I still want him.
"Charles, you have felt the same as me since we were young. Bloody hell we have both been stupid. Can I tell you a story." Charles gazes at me, takes my hand and gently kisses it. I have butterflies in my stomach. I continue "Can you remember when we were children" Charles nods "I hated you." He raises his eyebrows " You were mean to me, always pulling my plaits, calling me names, you were my brothers best friend. In fact almost like my brother. Anyway every holiday we returned here always the same, then when you were around sixteen I started to look at you differently. Gone was the acne and squeaky voice you had turned into a man. I fancied you like mad. I was only thirteen but there was no one else for me." I am blushing, I am so embarrassed, Charles looks so pleased with himself. I need to finish
" David knew, even my parents did. I did not care. Anyway you and David decided to join the Army. After College Sandhurst was the next step. Can you remember when you passed out. I was around seventeen, still unsure what was next for me. You and David looked so smart and proud in your uniforms ready to serve Queen and Country. I then decided that's what I wanted to do. I loved it Sandhurst was everything and more. When I passed out you and David were in Afghan. Then I hear You were getting married. I was heart broken, my dream of you and me gone. My first tour of Afghan and we meet again, fall for each other, all those years of dreaming. Charles then I had to save you, I would have taken the bullet for you. Layed down my life to save yours. You were shipped back to the UK. I did not know whether you were going to make it. My CO bollocked me when I sneaked off to see you. Charles I am so sorry for believing the bitch, but oh I don't know."
Charles leans in to kiss me, I nod and he kisses me on the lips." Molly, oh Molly, I have loved you since I passed out at Sandhurst. The months of hard graft, I looked up and saw your smiling face in a crowd of hundreds. You had turned into a gorgeous, sexy woman. I knew you fancied me." I gasp, oh shit.
"Sorry David told me, he thought it was hilarious, always took the piss. You were my best mates sister, I had to try and suppress my feelings for you. Rebecca was only meant to be a fling before my first tour, I was stupid, wasn't careful, she had fallen pregnant with Sam. I stood by her and did the right thing. We were never supposed to be married. I love Sam but not his Mother. Marriage wasn't for me, we were pretending to be happy but it never worked. As you know my third tour was awful , losing one of my lads and gaining a divorce. My fourth tour was supposed to be different, that it was, who did I bump into, the girl who stole my heart all those years ago. Molly I learned how to love again, I had built walls around myself to stop the pain and what did you do? You smashed the walls with your smart mouth and your opinions. Gone was the girl I used to torment replaced by the woman I never stopped loving."
If that was not a declaration of love, I don't know what is. Charles carries on "Then you left me." I bow my head, I think I am going to cry, I need to tell him why. "I am so sorry, Afghan changed me, I transformed into a person I did not want to be. Justine came along, I turned towards him, I think if it wasn't for my PTSD I would have fought for us more. I miss the army, miss the structure, I would love to re-join. I should have stayed in. Justine convinced me to leave. I resented him, I could never forgive him."
Charles takes my hand and pulls me onto his lap. Tears fall from my eyes, he wipes the away and tucks a stray hair around my ear " Molly, we make choices in life and we have to stand by them and live with the consequences. You could re-join, if you really want to, enquire, I could help you. I know your marriage has collapsed but, sorry its too soon." I know what he wants, I want the same." Charles, we have waited too long, people have stood in our way, we need to think about ourselves, about our own happiness". He places his hand on my face. "Molly, what are you trying to say, you want us to try again?" I nod and whisper "We need to take things slow, get to know each other again, yes I want this, more than anything else in the world."