Chapter 1.

Nico stared at himself, and immediately felt a wave of repulse crash over his shoulders. His eyes were puffy from crying, standing in stark contrast to his pale skin. But somehow, his sister's death wasn't the worst part of his day.

Yeah, he felt like a monster. What type of sick freak doesn't feel pained to the core by the death of his sister, who had cared for him since birth? But, it was like Bianca had just melted away in his memory, fading with barely a whisper. Her voice, eyes, smile; no matter how hard Nico tried, he couldn't remember the exact shape or sound.

Instead, what he saw was simple: those sea-green eyes, brimming with tears.

Percy thought he was a monster. He probably blamed Nico for the skeletons as well, which were definitely not his fault. He had seen the skeletons climbing out of the ground, and panicked, opening up the chasm to save Percy. His head had been roaring, blood pumping at ridiculous speeds, as he saw their bony fingers almost touch Percy and drag him in. Even more terrifying, he almost let them. Instead, he summoned all the energy he had left, and cut a chasm through the ground. But then he looked up, and saw a sight that wiped all thoughts of Bianca from his head.

Percy, scared. Of him. His eyes locked onto his, and Nico knew exactly what Percy was thinking- that he had tried to kill the demigod. It didn't matter if it wasn't the truth; Percy would never believe him otherwise. He'd never have his trust again.

The hero lept back, away from the chasm, and away from Nico. He watched as Percy drew Riptide, his lean muscles almost shimmering in the light. Nico summoned a few skeletons to help Percy, before running away.

That's all he ever did anyways, run away. Running away from Bianca- He should've been there, on the quest, fighting by her side. He could've saved them all, as well as make Percy think he was strong. Instead, he was what he was now-

"A scared little boy, crying in the corner. That's all you'll ever be."

He stood up, eyes pulsing with black fire. The voice, familiar by now, was still unsettling, like nails on a chalkboard in an empty classroom.

Of course, it was his own.

There wasn't much for him to do. He sat by the lake, underneath a tall fir tree. The water really was beautiful, he decided there, and it helped calm him down. The tiny ripples in the water made it seem as if it were alive, bright and vibrant, never sad or stagnant.

"Nico?"

There it was, the distant voice of a camper. Soon, he would be surrounded, and there were no shadows nearby to flee to. He wondered for a brief instant why he didn't run away from camp. He would be free, away from Bianca's killers.

But then, an irrational part of his heart kept screaming at him, telling him to stay. Percy cares about you, it coaxed into his ear, even after what you did. He'll come looking for you. He loves you.

He knew that wasn't true. He had seen that girl earlier- Annabeth, was that her name? With the blonde hair, they brought her back to camp half-unconscious, badly battered but still alive.

He'd never been the jealous type towards other people. Nico had long accepted that he wouldn't be happy, that it was the way life turned out for him. However, upon seeing Percy kiss Annabeth gently before letting her into the infirmary, Nico had never felt more jealous of an unconscious body before.

And then, immediately felt bad about it, when Percy's smile fell upon seeing Nico.

"Nico, please come back."

The camper's voice came closer. It sounded male, and that revelation sent tingles down Nico's spine.

Could it be Percy? His heart dared to flutter a second.

"I'm- I'm here." He muttered, then said louder. The rummaging in the forest stopped for a second, then started moving towards him, at a much faster pace.

"No one's mad at you. It- it's not your fault."

Percy?

He leapt from his spot beneath the tree, eyes still glistening with tears, and almost smiling as he turned around to find a large, brown eye staring curiously at him.

"You smell sad." He said, as if stating a piece of common knowledge.

Nico tried not to look too disappointed at Tyson. It wasn't his fault that his voice was similar to Percy, or that Nico felt very conflicted.

"Hi Tyson."

Surprisingly, the Cyclops sat down next to Nico. The days when Percy wasn't here, most of the campers just avoided Nico.

"Nico, why are you sad?"

He smiled. "Someone who I love is scared of me."

Tyson nodded. "Like Percy, right?"

Nico froze, but Tyson just kept on talking.

"Percy is my brother, and I know he loves me, but sometimes he looks at me like I'm a monster. I don't blame him, though; it isn't his fault that he thinks like that, because I am sort of a monster. But it's all okay, because he is still my brother."

Was Percy still his friend? His heart screamed yes, but logic overwhelmed it. He thinks you're a monster, his brain stated, and unlike Tyson, you aren't even his brother. Just some random boy he was sent to rescue.

After all, why would Percy want to be his friend? He was a scrawny little boy, a nerd, and if that wasn't enough, he had freakish powers with the dead. Nobody liked the topic of death- even Nico himself sometimes felt uncomfortable.

Plus, if Percy knew his feelings, he would definitely hate Nico. He still couldn't believe himself; he should be angry at Percy, for letting Bianca die, and yet all he could think about was how hard he had fallen for the hero. He was dishonoring Bianca's memory.

"Are you okay, Nico?"

He must've been staring off into space for a while now.

"Look, Tyson, I might be going somewhere. For a long time, I might not come back even."

Surprisingly, the Cyclops smiled. "A playdate with your friends?"

Nico couldn't help but grin at that. The idea was so ridiculous. He was eleven, for crying out loud; playdates were for little kids. Also, it wasn't as if he really had any friends- he mostly just hung out with Bianca and a few ghosts, who were never tired and would geek out with him for hours about Mythomagic.

"Sure. Can you, um, watch out for Percy? Make sure he doesn't do anything stupid, alright?"

Tyson laughed. "I already do that!"

The sun was fading by the time Tyson had left him. It felt good, really, to just talk. He carefully stayed away from Bianca and Percy; the topics were too sore in his mind, but Tyson was a great listener. For once, Nico didn't feel like the freak who no one liked.

And then Percy's voice, the real one, laced with exhaustion and pain, shouted into the forest.

"Tyson? Nico? It's getting dark."

Frowning, Nico shook his head and told Tyson to go, despite his pleadings. He felt, for an instant, his heart tugging him back to camp. It whispered treacherous thoughts in his mind: Percy called your name also. He still cares.

No. If Percy cared, it would be out of fear.

No one ever returns Nico's love.

A/N: Please review, and spread some happiness (because after writing these, by god I need it)