*CHAPTER 2

I woke up the next day and instead of the sadness I had expected, rage coursed through me from my head to my toes. Why hadn't he been there for me? When I needed him the most? And where was Lissa? My supposed best friend. I got up with a renewed energy, never had a training session been more of a blessing. I made my way down to the gym, tying my hair in a messy bun as I went. When I entered the gym the first thing I noticed was that Dimitri wasn't there. I pulled out one of the training dummies and let the darkness take over.

I didn't notice the door open, I didn't even notice the strong arms that tried to pin me down, I just kept fighting. I wasn't sure whether I was fighting myself or the mock Strigoi in front of me. I was faintly aware of Russian being murmured in my ear, but I was too far gone to listen.

After what felt like a lifetime, I came back to the real world. I fell to the floor in a heap, breathing heavily as I tried to organise my thoughts. I stiffened momentarily when the same strong arms hugged me to a large, broad chest. I inhaled the familiar scent of Dimitri's aftershave.

"Rose." He sighed quietly. "Oh Roza" I could tell he was worried because his accent got thicker. Tears began to stream down my face. I had the sudden urge to vent my feelings, but I didn't want to talk. So I broke free of his arms and ran to my room, ignoring his distant cries. I grabbed my notebook and pen, and began.

Dear Notebook,

What is wrong with me? Why do all the people I love leave me? I've always felt kinda like an outsider. This started when I was 2 and my mum dumped me at St Vlad's academy. I felt isolated. Then I met Mason and Eddie, and they became very good friends. We were all close, but Mase and I had a special connection. He understood me like no one else, even Lissa. She couldn't understand, cos she was a Moroi, she had choices; she had no idea what it felt like to be without choice. To be stuck between a rock and a hard place, be a Guardian or a Blood-whore.

Then me and Liss went on the run and I met this amazing guy. I'm not going to say his name, it's a little soon so I'll just give you his initials. N.C. But he died and the stress it put on my body killed our baby too. When me and Liss came back to the academy we weren't as close. She started going out with Christian and I was happy for her, but we haven't spoken like we used to, since we came back.

Then Spokane happened and I lost the 1 person I had left. Mason. I'm so angry at him, for leaving me here. He was meant to be my best friend but he abandoned me. Why did he leave me? Am I not good enough? Is that why I always seem to end up alone?

With sadness, Rose xx

Then I cried myself to sleep.

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