Chapter two – Learn who to trust

It's been four days since the fire, since Steven disappeared and I am not any closer to finding him, mostly because they have placed all the survivors of the fires in a "secure unit" until further notice – I can't help but wonder if there is something we are not privy to. Being here is like having the blood sucked out of you by an overgrown mosquito and there is nothing you can do to help yourself – save yourself.

Most of the population here are like me – desperate to find their lost love ones, and some don't want to be found. My father always used to preach one rule of life at home – "Brendan learn who to trust my son, the enemy may be closer than you think." Wise words pa but I don't care for finding the villain at this moment in time because I am looking for the innocent.

"Brady?" A man of authority calls above the loud voices in the room. He gestures me to come to him. I am cautious but I need all the help I can get to find Steven.

I can smell damp earth; it is encasing my body like a blanket and there is no escape. I don't where I am but it looks like some sort of back alley. I begin to move my limbs one by one, checking if they are all working still, thank God they are. I then prepare my body to stand and as I do it feels heavy underneath my feet – like I have gained a vast amount of weight, as I clamber up a wall for assistance I gain sight of a sign: "Hackney Hospital".

I'm in Hackney. I breathe a sigh of relief. I start to walk slowly into the main street but as I do I feel a sharp prickling in my side so I lift up my shirt – exposing a freshly applied bandage which has been wrapped around my waist…

Time goes slowly in this place and I am not a patient man. They are not helping one bit, Steven could be dead for all I know and they don't even care! Oh I just want to smash this hell hole to pieces right now – my fingers itch. People are leaving around me, they have been found – why hasn't Steven?

"Brendan?" A small voice creeps up behind me but I don't recognise it. "I thought it was you" he has turned into my vision…

"Douglas? What are ye doing here?"

"I was visiting some friends in London when the fires were set" He looks down to the floor.

"Are they here?" I don't know what else to say – I can to relate to him at this moment.

"Hospital - in Hackney, that's were all the casualties have gone"

Of course, if Steven was hurt they would have sent him to a hospital outside of the area.

"Thank you" I kiss him on the cheek in a moment of impulse; he looks baffled but doesn't say anything.

Busses to Hackney are regular on a usual day however since the fires all public transport to the area has been told to cease until further notice – I'm going on foot. We live in Highbury in Islington so Hackney is the next borough over; but nightfall is approaching and time is of the essence.

I struggle along the pavements of Hackney, I need to get back to the hospital and find out what happened to me. I don't remember anything after Bren told me to wait at the flat for him to return from the shop. I feel like I have been sucked into a black hole – no recollection of events cross my mind and it scares me to think of what might have happened to me, to Bren while I have been unconscious.

I reach the doors of the hospital and stand outside for a moment; sirens are screeching in my ears, my mind is crumbled inside my head so bad I can feel my ears throbbing. I pluck up the courage and walk straight trough the automatic doors.

I'm here at hospital entrance; just standing taking in the sights and smells around me – they nauseate me. I stride through the doors after a moment of calming my nerves. I don't want to do this; I don't want to ask because what if it's bad? What if…?

NO, snap out of it Brendan Brady and listen to the one thing that matters right now – your instinct.

"Hello can I help you sir?" She looks kind – genuine, which is more than can be said for some people I have met today.

"Yer I wonder if you can tell me if someone is here? My words are a jumble.

"Of course, if you could just give me their name…" She types into the keyboard behind the desk

"Steven Hay" I choke on his name – I miss him.

"And address…"

"2A Ronslen Street, Islington"

"And your name and address please…"

"Brendan Brady, 2A Ronslen Street, Islington" I say with pride as a sudden realisation crosses the receptionist's face.

"And do you know if Mr Hay has a next of kin?"

What why is she asking that? "I don't know…" I stutter. I'm assuming that Amy is his next of kin because his parents are useless and he doesn't have very many close friends. "Amy Barnes"

She types it in.

"That isn't what is on the system sir" She says.

"What is then?" I ask confused.

I'm sitting in the waiting room, waiting to be treated – I think. I don't know why I am here really because I think I have already been treated today. If only I could remember what happened to me but I feel blacked out, like I haven't been in reality all day. It's impossible right? I feel pain and I'm conscious to what is going on around me but at the same time I feel vague to the world – maybe because I'm tired so I'm going to lie down for a bit and wait, wait for Bren…