Chapter 2: Suicide Love

Yugi sobbed into his pillows. Why? Why did he have to say it? Say it to his wonderful, gorgeous, pretty, pretty Yami?

He shook his head. No, not Yami. Not anymore. Yami had anhillated himself from him. An hour ago, he had gathered up the courage, and told Yami of his love.

Yes, love. He had loved his dark for a while now. But until tonight he had been too nervous to tell the spirit about it. Now he wished he had never loved in the first place. Yami had reacted violently, throwing him into a wall and forbidding the light from ever coming near him again. He had then spat on his form and left. Sobbing even harder, he curled around a pillow, and cried himself to sleep.

-

Yami snarled as he slammed the door to his room. How could he? That little…little fag?! How dare his hikari-no! He was not his hikari. Not anymore. He laid down on his bed, glaring at the ceiling. Across the hall, he could hear Yugi sobbing his heart out. Yami snorted, easily blocking the sound from his mind. The little fucker could cry all he wanted. He no longer cared. Yami turned on the radio, tuning out the heartbroken sobs. He closed his eyes and lost himself in the melody, carrying his mind away from reality.

-

The next morning, Yugi was late in getting up. Yami didn't mind. He ate his breakfast and walked out the door, only vaguely noticing that Yugi didn't eat a thing. He shrugged it off and continued on his way to school, ignoring the depressed look on his former hikari's face.

When he got to school his friends were there, and asked why Yugi wasn't with him. When he told them they just seemed confused, telling him they already knew. Yami scoffed at them and headed into the building on his own. Throughout the entire day Yami watched his ex-friends and former hikari interact. At the end of the day, he didn't wait for any of their friends, he just walked straight home and into his room, where he sat and began to do his homework. He didn't even turn his head when he heard the shop door faintly open from downstairs. Yugi walked past his door, but he just closed it with his shadows. Yugi sighed quietly, before heading into his room.

-

Yugi winced as he patched up his bruised and battered skin. A few days after Yami had stopped asscosiating with him, the bullies came back. Even though Jou and Honda were more than capable of protecting him, they weren't around twenty four seven like Atemu had been. People realized this, and he soon became easy prey to their whims. He came home each day with at least one extra bruise, and a thinner physique. He had taken to not eating as whenever he was around Yami, he couldn't find an appetite, and at school, the bullies beat him hard enough to make him unable to force anything down his throat. Yugi, finished with tending his wounds, went to work on his homework. Amazingly, he was still making good grades, despite the anguish he was in. He wasn't sure if that was a bad thing or not, but decided to just go with the flow and accept it. Giving a slight yawn, he got up quietly and went down the stairs to get some cold water to keep him up.

-

Yami gasped, his eyes flying open, cold sweat threatening to fall from every pore. He lifted a shaky hand to his bangs and swept them worriedly away. That had been the tenth time he had dreamt of Yugi these past two weeks. It had started out innocently enough, just simple talks with the boy, meaningless conversations that neither particularly enjoyed, which made him wonder why they even got started in the first place. He had thought it was just his mind missing having the brat around. But then it had….progressed. By now he was making love to the small boy, long and hard, passionate and desperate, wonderful and sweet. He grimaced as a throb brought notice to a problem that had developed. He gripped the sheets hard, knuckles turning white at the pain. His loose, silk pajama pants were suddenly tight, much too tight. He lowered the waist band in hopes that it was would help. All it did was let the cool air blow across the tender flesh, making him bite his lip, tightening his grip even more. There were two ways to deal with this problem. He could either wait it out, or….or take care of it. He absolutely refused to touch himself for that boy. Resigned, Yami got up and pulled his pants back on, hissing as the smooth fabric hit his erection. Getting up softly, he headed down to the kitchen to get some sour candy. For some reason, it helped.

-

Yugi reached up and got a glass from the cabinet, tossing in some ice cubes from the freezer before filling it with water from the tap. He turned around, ready to go back up to his room, only to freeze. Yam…Atemu was right behind him, fishing into the jar of sour candies. Yugi flushed. He had had more than one erotic dream involving those sweet and sour delicacies. Atemu, sensing that someone was watching him, turned around and stiffened. Instantly his eyes hardened and gazed down at him.

"What are you doing down here?" He asked venomously. Yugi winced at the harsh tone, turning his head away.

"I just came for some water Atemu, that's all." He said, holding up the glass. Now it was Atemu's turn to wince. Ever since he had told the boy that he wasn't his Aibou he had been using that name, his Egyptian name, the one that had no tie to the delicate boy in front of him.

Somehow, that made him sad.

Yami growled, crushing the candies in his hands.

"You think you can get off the hook that easy?" Yugi looked up to him fearfully.

"A-atemu…" A harsh slap echoed through the room. Yugi just stood there, shock and pain on his face. He looked up into the strangers eyes, and quietly tried to exit. Atemu gripped his arm painfully. Yugi didn't even flinch. Atemu however, was shocked. The body underneath his fingertips was not the healthy physique he had once known. He could feel the outline of the bone, the loose, almost rubbery feel of his skin, the tender, yielding flesh of deep bruising. Pulling the boy closer, he felt down his chest, shocked and disgusted that he could count every rib under his fingertips. A soft, muffled moan made its way to his ears. Yugi had his eyes closed tightly with a hand over his mouth. Disgust took over his concern and he threw the boy to the floor, kicking him in the ribs, before leaving.

After dealing with Yugi, most of his problem had gone away. He just popped a sour candy into his mouth and let the bitter taste do the rest of the work. Restlessly, he tried to fall asleep again, slightly unwilling as he knew that his erotic dreams would be coming back. He eventually managed it. However, his dreams weren't about loving his hikari anymore. Instead, they were filled with nightmare's, where Yugi was tortured, murdered, poisoned, killed, raped, even executed with his severed head being brought to him. All twined with the horrible memories of the Orichalcos. The grating sound of the alarm clock woke him up. Yami was trembling even worse now, and when he raised his hand to his face again, he found his cheeks soaked in tears.

-

Over the next several weeks, Yami began keeping a loose eye on his old charge. He got up earlier, allowing Yugi to eat while he was on the way to school. He beat up the people who picked on Yugi, telling them to stop unless they wanted their hearts torn out. He felt a small satisfaction in helping Yugi get better. The dreams were going down now, now that he knew Yugi was safe. That however, was soon going to change.

-

Yugi walked heavily down the streets. It had been at least a month since he had told Atemu about his gender preferation. It had taken those few seconds to ruin every scrap of bond that they had ever had. Atemu was disgusted by him, he wouldn't even look at him without pure rage consuming his being. Yugi was so wrapped up in his thoughts, that he didn't realize when he had turned and run into the red light district. But when he did, he stiffened and immediately began walking the other way. He wasn't quick enough though, and realized this when he was grabbed from behind and drug into one of the many dark alleys.

"Stop! Let me go!" Yugi shouted. A dark, gravelly voice chuckled.

"I don't think so pretty." He said. Yugi winced. His voice grated on his ears, damaged by cigarettes and booze, both of which he could smell very clearly on his breath.

"Please let go." The man chuckled again.

"No pretty. I don't think I'll ever let you go. Not yet at least." He forced his pale frame up against the brick wall, snaking his hand up his shirt, before going southward.

Yugi knew what was going to happen, and though he kicked and screamed, there was nothing he could do. /Yami! Yami help! Atemu!/ It was no use. The spirit had blocked his side of the link, so he couldn't hear the desperate pleas of the young boy. The man roughly unbuttoned his shirt forcing it down to his elbows, before feeling the soft skin. He ran his hands cruelly over chest. He took out a knife and cut his belt, shoving his pants down. A calloused hand came down and began fondling him. Yugi whimpered. The fingers were rough and hard, grating against his skin like sand paper, leaving it sore and tender. The man soon grew impatient and threw him to the ground, pulling out a pair of handcuffs. Yugi stared at them in horror. No, it was already bad enough getting raped, but it was going to be a cop who did it? His clothes were removed and his hands shoved behind his back, cuffed around a heavy metal pole on the ground. The cop opened his own pants to let through his own self, before plunging in with relish. Yugi screamed, he screamed and screamed and cried for his Yami, but he never came, nor did anyone else and the man continued to pound him into the dirt.

The dirt where he belonged.

-

After the man, who had told him his name was Ryan, was done, he was uncuffed and allowed to go home. To Yugi's mortification, he was not given his clothes back, only told to go home. Ashamed and disgusted with himself, Yugi let him keep his clothes and ran away, keeping to the filthy alleyways to avoid being seen.

'Filth. That's what I am now, dirty trash. Atemu has every right to hate me. I'm disgusting, not fit to wander this earth.' He made it home and tearfully, joyfully, he raced up to his window and crawled through. He hastily put some clothes on, ones that covered his entire form. and rubbed his arms. He wanted to step into the shower and try to rid himself of the filth that covered his body. But right now, he was too scared to even remove one article that he had put on. Weeping bitterly, Yugi curled up in the center of his bed and cried. He looked to his nightstand, and realized the answer to his problems. For the first time in a long time, Yugi smiled. He knew exactly what to do. What would make his Ji-chan free from extra work, that would relieve his friends of the burdon of friendship, and most of all, would make Atemu happy. Silently getting up, Yugi creeped down the stairs and pulled out a large, sharp, meat knife, built to cut through flesh. Yugi smiled again, this time a little insanely.

Yes. All his problems

-

Yami was nervous. The dreams had come back tonight, only worse and much more vivid, most of them dealing with his darling little Yugi getting raped. Yami shook his head. Darling? Little?! What was wrong with him?! He shouldn't be thinking like that! He was straight….Wasn't he? Yami shook his head again.

'Of course I am.' He thought. 'What else could I be?'

"Yugi's.'' His mind whispered back. Yami felt his resolve weaken considerably. He shook his head yet again.

'It wouldn't work out.' He thought. 'What about children?'

"You'd manage'' The voice responded. "Can't you adopt children nowadays?''Yami hesitantly nodded.

'I suppose so.' He said.

"Plus, what about him himself eh? Small, petite, graceful. Everything you could ever want in a woman, only better.'' Yami reluctantly agreed. "And I bet those lungs of his could get loud, screaming one's name over and over…"

"Okay! I get it!" Yami growled. "I like Yugi." He said lowly, hoping that other people would hear, because he wasn't going to repeat himself twice. But instead of feeling frustrated, he felt like a weight lifted off of his shoulders. He stood up, butterflies began swirling around in his stomach. He stopped in front of Yugi's door, knocking.

"Yugi? May I come in?" There was no response. Yami frowned. "C'mon Yugi, this isn't funny. He knocked harder, thinking about different ways to knock it down, when it swung in by its own. Yami gasped. Yugi laid on the floor, a massive puddleof blood building upon the floor, his wrists bled freely, spilling the crimson river across his arms. He raced over, turninghim over to look intohis face.

"Yugi, what…what…What?"The young boy smiled, it tore his heart in half. That smile was so broken and sad, and yet, it still managed to hold every bit of gentle grace and beauty. He shook his head slowly. "No…Don't die. You can't….You can't die…Let me heal you! Please! I can heal you Yugi!" The boy shook his head, eyes so dilated he doubted the boy could see.

"No….I-I want to…." Tears began falling down his face.

"But why?" The young boy closed his eyes gently, before opening them again.

"Something's been taken, I'm no longer as innocent as I seem." Yami's own eyes widened. 'It can't be….' He clenched his fists.

"Who did it?" He growled. "I swear to Ra, I'll kill them." Yugi smiled, pure happiness and joy radiating off of him.

"Thank you…." Yami blinked.

"For what?" He asked. Yugi giggled softly, which turned into a vicious cough, blood leaking out of his lips.

"For caring." A bit of fear worked its way into his eyes, but didn't stay long in the hopelessness and depression. "A-Atemu….still….love…you." The light's eyes rolled into the back of his head, and he died. Yami sobbed, holding the body close.

"No…..no please…Come back Yugi. Come back!!" He frantically began pouring his life into the body, trying to get the frail heart to beat again. The deep slashes to his wrists healed in an instant, skin sealing over with not so much as a scar. Yami paused several times to listen for a heartbeat and catch his breath. His limbs began to shake as more and more as his energy was drained. Finally, he collapsed sobbing into the corpses chest. He nuzzled against the cold skin, tears running down his face. His stroked the boy's hair softly, gently picking up the knife he had used to drain his life away. "Yugi……forgive me. I'm so sorry I didn't see it sooner." He set the steel blade on his breast, leaning down and giving a soft kiss to those silky smooth lips. "I love you too." With that he plunged the knife deep into his heart, ending his life.

-

Yugi sighed, looking out at the beautiful landscape below him. Even though he had taken his own life, the gods had decided to let him pass on into paradise. He looked wistfully up at the sky. The giant expanse was the perfect shade of blue, bright and vibrant like the sun was at noon, yet as cool and gentle as a summer evening. He swung his legs back and forth, bare feet touching the cool stone of the cliff he was on.

"Yugi!" He blinked. Who was that? He had only been here for a few minutes, no one should know his name. He turned around and gasped. There was Yam-Atemu, standing just inside the golden gates of heaven. Yugi stared at him with wide eyes. How did he get here? Unless….. His thoughts were stopped when he saw the spirit approaching him. Yugi backed up, not wanting to be hit by the other. A strong hand came out and grabbed his arm. He looked up fearfully to see, to his surprise, that Atemu was scared. "Please, don't leave me again." Yugi looked up into those tearful crimson eyes, honestly confused.

"Atemu what…?" Atemu gripped his hand, putting it on his chest. Yugi felt a small scar under his fingers, a momento of how he had died.

"Call me Yami little one." Hope began to flutter in his chest. Did this mean…? Wonderfully soft lips that tasted like honey and rum descended on his own. The kiss wasn't big, no fireworks or moonlit passion, just sweet, chaste, and soft. Yami smiled down at him. "I love you too." Then, the yami broke down in his arms, babbling apologies and begging for forgiveness. The tears quickly soaked the pristine white robe that he had been wearing when he woke up. Yugi held his dark softly, smiling and stroking his hair, murmuring gentle acceptances and heartwarming words. Eventually the other calmed down and smiled at him. Yugi smiled back and giggled. An evil glint got into the others eye and Yugi squeaked, trying to get away. Yami scooped him up into his arms and raced off into the woods. Yugi just stayed still in his arms, breathing in the spicy, exotic scent that surrounded his dark. This is what he wanted. And he hoped it would stay this way for eternity.

End

I know it's sad, but I was in the mood for some angst