She was doing it again. He hated when she did. She stared she couldn't help it there was something about him that just made her want to look. There was something about him something different she couldn't pinpoint it. She thought if she looked deep enough then she could figure out what it was. They were sitting on the couch right now. He was facing the TV engrossed in the movie, it was one of his favorites, he was mouthing the words along with the actors. She sat in the corner curled up so it could look like she was watching the movie when in fact she was watching him.
His hair was in his eyes again and he brushed it out of his face with his right hand and then rested it on the couch arm. She cataloged his movements wondering is that is where his differences lye. Right hand on couch arm, left arm and hand on the back of the couch, feet stretched in front of him. She took a sip of her soda watching him over the rim of her glass. He started to twitch his nose it was a sign that he sensed her watching. She turned to the movie. His gaze was like a hand running down her body. It stayed on her for a moment longer than necessary, she debated turning the tables on him, accusing him of staring at her.
When he turned back to the movie she waited a few moments before she turned to studying him, again. Maybe that is way it bugged him so much she was studying him, much like she used to watch ants crawling on the ground. She wanted to learn all his secrets and why he did the things he did and understand the inner workings of his mind. She wasn't sure if it was because she loved him or she just needed to know. She was pretty sure it was because she needed to know.
She knew she would hurt him at some point. She always wanted to fall for a nice guy but now that she had one she thought she was to mean for him. He wanted people to like him and she could barely remember what it was like to want that. She mainly just wanted to be right and for people to tell her the truth. She didn't need for them to like her because they would just betray her in the end. Maybe that was one of the things that made him so different, he cared. He cared about other people and about what they thought. She didn't and most of the people she knew didn't care either and that is why she kept them close to her.
But not him. She kept him at a distance. He didn't know everything about her and that was kind of nice. He didn't know she was ultimately damaged and had secrets she would probably never share with him. She was sure that he had secrets he would never share with her either but she was also sure that the would not be as deep or as scaring as the ones that she had. And he generally liked people. She vaguely remembered what that was like. So she watched him to remember.
xxxxx
He knew she was staring at him. She had been the entire movie she did it every time they stayed in and watched TV or movies. She even did it when they went out, just not as obviously. She didn't fool him with the studied stare at the TV screen. He knew she was waiting for him to shift his focus back to the movie.
She was weird. Not weird in the way you cross the street to get away from someone but weird different and cool. He liked different and cool. At least he thought he did. She may to different and to cool for him. He always figured he wouldn't be conventional living a normal life. That there would always be something that set him apart. And then he met her. She was totally unconventional and her life was anything but normal. He'd been told she fought for normal and he could tell that sometimes she was still trying to get it.
They'd do thing he knew she hated but thought that she should like. Her smile would be forced and she would lie and say she had had fun. He could see it though the lie and the strain the normal things put on her. She was always looking for the thing that wasn't right. That's why he hated it when she stared at him. She was looking for the thing that wasn't right. He was afraid of what would happen when or if she found the thing that was wrong with him. Would she finally relax? Or would it be the end of the relationship? He wasn't sure. He tried to focus on the movie.
He tried but he couldn't get past the stare. There she was sitting on the other side of the couch, watching. It was unnerving. He tried to be what she wanted him to be but he didn't know what that was. He wanted to ask her to stop but every time he did she pouted and would do it out of the side of her eye anyway. So he stopped asking, most of the time. Mostly he wished she would tell him why. Even though he knew that would never happen.
If asked he would say that he liked watching her too. Not when they were sitting watching TV though. He like watching her from a distance. Moving across campus and charging after someone. She had so much determination it was nice to see. He thought he was probably a wuss because one of the reasons he liked watching her from a distance was because he could also watch her defend herself. He didn't have to step in to save her. He liked that she could save her self.
Maybe that was what was wrong with them. He was on the sideline the entire time while she was the coach and the star player wrapped into one. He was content to sit on the sidelines though. He got off the bench if she called for him, it hadn't happened yet but he knew he would.
He sighed as he settled back into the couch. At least he had watched "Dumb and Dumber" enough times that her staring across the couch wouldn't disturb his movie enjoyment.