Moments

I couldn't believe it has been over one month since she left.

I gulped down my fire whisky by my bed. It's been my tenth bottle today. My throat burned like raging fire, but up to this point, it didn't matter and I didn't care. Anything to take away the pain I felt inside. I looked at the pile of clothes that didn't belong to me. I felt tears prick at the corner of my eyes just by looking at them.

I picked up the sweater from the top of the pile. It was her favourite- the one she wore when we defeated the Dark Lord. I smelt the shirt, hoping for her minty toothpaste scent, but all traces of her was gone. All it smelt was of soap.

I couldn't last another day without her. I kept her shirt in hand as I lay on my bed. Tears fell faster and faster as my eyes focused on just one all too familiar picture.

"We should really move back to my Mum and Dad's place," I laughed as I tried working her odd Muggle contraption, "What is this thing called anyway?"

She laughed as she went over to me. "Ronald, your doing it wrong." Hermione, the smart one in our relationship, pushed a button on the machine. "This is called a juicer."

I smiled. We were now living in the Muggle world in her parent's house for the time being- until Rose and Hugo go back to Hogwarts. "What would I do without you?"

"Nothing, actually," she smirked as she washed her hands. "Once it looks ready just press the red button and open the lid."

I nodded as I watched the "juicer" do its work like a Keeper would watch the Quidditch field.

A few minutes later, the liquid inside looked ready. "Open the lid then press the red button," I said to myself.

Hermione came back in the kitchen as I put my hand on the lid, ready to open the juicer. "Ronald, what are you doing?" She came closer as I waited for the right time to open it. I didn't want Hermione to do all the work in this family, so I'd like to show her that I could work these silly Muggle contraptions on my own.

"I'm doing what you told me to do, Mione," I smiled as I slowly opened the lid. "Ron, no! Don't open the li-" She got cut off as my banana juice squirted around the room and all over our clothes and faces.

"You're so lucky I love you," Hermione said as she wiped around her dazzling eyes with a piece of cloth she found nearby. I grinned at the thought that she wasn't mad about the mess I made at her parents house.

"I know," I said. She laughed as she got my Muggle camera dad gave me from my birthday a few years ago.

She giggled as we posed for the strange camera. "Smiiillleee!"

I stared at the picture by my bed, my lips clashed into her cheek as the camera flashed, and my head filled with other fond memories I shared with her.

I couldn't believe this was all happening even though its been more than a month.

I picked up the frame and threw it to the wall, my face then buried in my hands. I had made too much noise, obviously, because my best friend's gentle voice came through the door.

"Ron, are you okay?"

I screamed, my voice dry, rough, and raw with anger. "Go away!"

I heard Harry knock again. I climbed from my bed and grabbed my old blue duffle bag. I threw in a few items I needed and made my way outside, pushing past Harry who held the bottom of her jacket. I swung around and threw his hand off of it.

"Ron, this isn't healthy."

"You don't know how I feel."

"Yes, I do! Hermione was my friend, too."

"Yes, Harry, she was your friend, but you know what the difference is? Hermione was my everything, my soul, my heart, the only person who knew me in and out. Do you know what it's like to have everything you finally got and then it being wiped out in an instant? Do you know what it feels like for your lungs to shut down? When I breath, it kills me. Do you know what it feels like to have a big hole in your heart and you know it can never heal?" I finished there, my eyes blood shot on Harry as I yelled out each words, getting air as I did so.

Harry stayed silent. I sighed as I turned my heel. I left home and slammed the door behind me.

The tears had stopped when I reached my destination. My surroundings were quiet. I could hear every twig snapping beneath my feet as I walked around. It was pitch black outside but I knew my way around now. I walked here alone for the past month.

I finally found the correct tombstone. I ran my fingers through the engraving, over each letter spelling Hermione's name. I choked knowing that my favourite animated picture of her was on the stone. I felt tears stream down my face again but I shook my head, refusing the tears and kneeling down by the tomb.

"I can't do this anymore, Hermione," I started, taking a few deep breaths as I dug in my bag for some Firewhiskey. "I've tried and I can't do it. It's been a month when really it feels like an eternity. I'm constantly thinking about every moment we've spent together as a family- you, me, Rose, and Hugo. Nothing is the same without you and my life remains meaningless. Why did you have to leave me? It's not fair."

I spoke to the head stone as if it was actually Hermione. I knew she was here, I could feel her presence every time I visited. That was one of the reasons I always came here and sat on this exact spot. I unscrewed the bottle cap of the whiskey and pressed it to my lips, chugging it. I ignored the fiery burn and the feeling to throw up.

I opened the door I was directed to. I saw a familiar face looking down at my wife. It was Harry. "What happened?"

Harry's eyes were red and puffy, obviously stating that he's been crying.

Hermione lay on the hospital bed, eyes clothes and in a blue sleeping gown.

"What happened?" I repeated my words as I grabbed Harry.

He mouthed something, a few sounds coming out of his mouth. "She.. crashed. Into one of those cars. I'm sorry.."

It took a few minutes for it to sink in, for my brain to allow what Harry meant. "No. No. You're lying Harry. We have two kids, she's my one true love, this can't be happening. WHAT HAPPENED?"

"I'm sorry, Ron," he left the room giving me some privacy,

This had to be some cruel and sick joke. I screamed out loud, the pain worse than anything I'd ever felt before- even from a spell.

A nurse came in. "Is she okay?" I asked her repeatedly.

"Not even magic can fix it," she was obviously from the Wizarding world.

I shook my head as I kneeled on the floor. Life was horrible starting here.

"It'll be okay.." the nurse tried soothing me as she checked on Hermione.

"No. No it won't. Nothing will ever be okay ever again. Not without Hermione."

I missed everything about Hermione. The way she corrected me in everything I do, the way she scolded the kids when they did something wrong. She was a fantastic mother.

I missed her voice, the way she tried to sing when Hugo was just a baby.

I missed her always oddly bushy hair, the ones I saw when my eyes opened after a good night's sleep beside her. I missed her kissed and hugs to me and the kids when we needed comfort or affection.

I missed Hermione.

Time heals everything, that's what my mum told me. I knew it was a lie, it didn't heal a thing. It made everything worse, everyday worse. It made the pain worse. Each day got harder to live.

"I know you'll be really angry at me for this- leaving the kids," I spoke again, flipping the cap from a Muggle bottle of pills I retrieved from my bad. "I just really need to see you again. To be with you again."

I poured a hand full of pills in my hand. I chugged it down with my Fire Whiskey, repeating the process until I took every last one of it.

I let the empty bottles fall down by me and curled up into a ball beneath Harry's tomb stone. Tears falling freely once more. I closed my eyes and thought about the girl who I've been living for, each flashing memory with her and the kids. The pain started to wash away, the hole in my heart seeming to close until eventually darkness took over.

Long time no see. I hope I satisfied you after my really long break with this story. AND I added two endings for you. I'm so nice, aren't I?
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- A:)