.:All_For_You:.
"So are you going to tell me or not? Sasuke demanded. "It's obvious you've been dying to. That's the whole reason why you brought me here right?"
"Tell you what, little brother?" Itachi asked glancing at him again.
"Why you did it," Sasuke said, putting slight emphasis on each word. "Why you killed our family, and left. You wanted a chance to explain it to me, didn't you?" He spread out his arms as if to say 'well here I am.'
Itachi sighed, and finally got up to sit on the bed next to him. Sasuke felt weird having his brother so close, those red eyes staring down at him. Itachi was looking at him fully now. "Yes, that is partially what this is about. I do want to explain myself to you, and afterwards, I'll leave it up to you to decide whether you want to trust me or not."
"...Partially?" Sasuke questioned.
Itachi smiled the tiniest bit, and those harsh eyes softened somewhat. "I wanted to see you again of course," he replied, poking Sasuke's forehead like he used to do all those years ago. "I made a promise, after all."
Sasuke moved his face out of Itachi's touching range, and blushed, a little embarrassed at the bit of affection his brother had shown him. He decided to get back on subject then. "So go on. Tell me why you did it."
"It was for you Sasuke." Sasuke's eyes suddenly widened at that, and he stared in shock at his brother. What had he just said? "It was all for you."
The memories. Images of fallen bodies in the dark, Itachi standing above their parents' corpses.... "Don't say that!" he yelled suddenly, jumping from the bed. "Don't ever say that again! You make it sound like it's my fault that my family is dead!" He made an angry slashing gesture with his hand at the air, but then Itachi grabbed that hand. For about a millisecond, there was quiet confusion from Sasuke, and then Itachi pulled him roughly back onto the bed, next to him again.
"Sit back down," Itachi said, as if chastising him. "You should know I didn't mean it that way. So don't ever think that, Sasuke. It was never because of you, little brother, it was for you. For your sake alone. It's their own fault that they're dead, not yours."
"Why then?" Sasuke demanded. "How did you think something like that could ever... benefit me?"
Itachi sighed again, and Sasuke thought, for just a second, that he saw those red eyes become a little sad. "Don't you remember what he did Sasuke? What our father did to you?"
Sasuke stared at his brother, looking for some kind of hint as to what he meant, or a sign that he might be lying or making something up. "What are you talking about?"
"A week before I killed them. Remember? You were so excited."
~~~ 8 years earlier
Seven-year-old Sasuke was trailing along after his thirteen-year-old brother, grinning happily. "Are you sure mother and father will be proud of me?" he asked. Itachi smiled down at him. "Of course. You did very well." Suddenly Sasuke grabbed his brother's hand, and tugged insistently. When Itachi looked at him questioningly, Sasuke grinned again and stretched his arms up to him. Itachi grimaced the tiniest bit. He loved his brother, but this was always a little annoying. Without a word, Itachi grabbed him up and slid him over to hang from his back. "Aren't you getting a little old for this?" he asked tiredly. Sasuke always insisted on the two of them walking home this way.
Sasuke laughed, his still small arms holding tight to Itachi's neck. "Nope!" he said happily, stretching his legs out in a way that made it difficult for Itachi to keep from dropping him. As Itachi walked, Sasuke waved the folded sheet of paper in his face again. "I got a 'C' though. Father prob'ly won't like that very much." Despite the fact that Sasuke was in grade school, and Itachi in high school, they had both gotten their grade cards that day.
Itachi tried not to let Sasuke see his worry. It was true that low grades were intolerable among the Uchiha, but it was just one "C" (a high one, at that), and Sasuke was still so little.... Surely their father would be reasonable. Surely he would understand. Surely he wouldn't get too angry.... Sasuke was only a child, after all. "I'm sure it'll be fine," Itachi promised, smiling a barely felt smile. Sasuke laughed again, and suddenly Itachi grinned over his shoulder at him. Without warning, the older brother began to run, and Sasuke giggled so happily, clinging even more tightly to Itachi's neck.
Once they were home, all laughter ended for Itachi. Their father was outside, waiting by the door expectantly. Somehow he must have been aware of the fact that they had gotten their grades in today. "Let me down Itachi!" Sasuke exclaimed happily. For a moment, Itachi hesitated, trying to judge by the look on his father's face if it were safe enough. His father's face was always the same though, and there was no way to tell what mood he might be in. With a small smile for Sasuke, Itachi allowed his brother to slide down from his back. And as soon as Sasuke's little feet hit the ground, he was running toward their father, waving the folded paper happily in the air above him.
"I did very well!" Itachi heard Sasuke say as he placed the paper in his father's waiting hands. "The teachers and Itachi all said so!" Itachi approached more cautiously, watching his father's face intently while the man's eyes scanned over his youngest son's grades. "What's this?" he muttered suddenly, and Itachi was at his brother's side in an instant, fearing that things might abruptly take a turn for the worst. "78? That's a 'C' Sasuke." The man stared down at his youngest child with those cold eyes of his, until finally Sasuke's smile slipped, and he looked down at his feet in shame. Itachi put a hand on Sasuke's shoulder, trying to comfort without making their father angry.
"I know..." Sasuke said quietly, scuffing his shoe against the ground.
"You know that a 'C' is inexcusable," he snapped, and Itachi could see that the man's temper was rising quickly. "And you say that is... 'doing very well'?"
"Father," Itachi interrupted, shoving his own grades at him. "I have mine as well."
The man looked over Itachi's more quickly. "Perfect scores again," he muttered. "Good job, though your last ones were better." Of course they were, Itachi thought darkly. "Nice try, son, but you haven't distracted me well enough." Their father glanced down at Sasuke again, who was half hidden behind Itachi now. "Sasuke will have to be punished."
"He's just a kid!" Itachi cried, shoving Sasuke farther behind himself.
"He should know better!" his father yelled back.
Knowing that this would end badly, Itachi quickly told Sasuke to go inside and wait in his room for him. He didn't want his brother to see this. Sasuke nodded, but as he guiltily shuffled past his father to get inside, the man suddenly grabbed him by one of his small shoulders. "I don't think so!" their father bellowed, and he jerked Sasuke back forcefully. Itachi watched with horror-struck eyes as Sasuke's little body went flying, hitting the wooden railing of their porch and landing in the dirt. "Sasuke!" Itachi started to run to his brother's side, but their father was grabbing him now.
Itachi was spun around roughly, and punched hard in the face. He stumbled back, wiping the slightest bit of blood from his chin. He glanced over to see that Sasuke was struggling to get to his feet now, clutching at his stomach as he did so. Their father pushed Itachi aside roughly as he made his way toward Sasuke again. "No!" Itachi exclaimed, reaching out to stop his father. The man turned, and hit him again. Itachi stumbled once more, and managed to keep his balance until he saw his father's fist coming down even again. Once he was on the ground, his father kicked him - hard. Itachi held himself together in pain, but he was already pretty sure that one of his ribs was broken. It wouldn't be the first time something like this had happened.
But for Sasuke....
Sasuke was staring at him in wide-eyed fear, and then his eyes traveled up at his father, who was now standing dangerously above him. "Please don't!" Sasuke cried, but their father ignored him, and dragged the boy to his feet.
"How dare you disgrace the Uchiha!" And his fist raised once more, but this time, the punch was not aimed at his eldest son. "You really thought you could get away unpunished? You're just like your brother!"
And Itachi watched helplessly as his father beat Sasuke into unconsciousness.
A few minutes later - the ordeal had not taken very long - Itachi was struggling to carry his broken younger brother inside through the house. He stopped once, to catch his breath in the hallway, and cringed in pain. Yeah. The rib was definitely damaged, and it hurt like hell. That was when he spotted his mother standing at the kitchen sink. The window just in front of her face showed a clear view of the front year and the porch outside. She must have been able to hear Itachi gasping just behind her in the hallway, but she said nothing, didn't even turn his way. Itachi scoffed angrily.
--{back to the present}--
"But... he was just doing his job, as a father," Sasuke protested. He felt a little confused by it all. Yeah, he did in fact remember that day, now that Itachi brought it up. The way Itachi had put it made the whole thing sound terrible but... Sasuke remembered it somewhat differently. "He was right. Uchiha's aren't supposed to get things like bad grades. We... were a high ranking family - what would've happened if one of us did something like that?" His father had just been doing what was best for them, right? "I... should have done better in school back then. I should have gotten better grades."
Itachi stared at him for an immeasurable moment, cold red eyes emotionless now. "There you are blaming yourself," he said finally.
Sasuke's jaw dropped. "I'm... not blaming myself for anything. It was my fault. I knew better." Itachi scoffed angrily. "Our father was right to do what he did." Sasuke was convinced of it.
He remembered when he had woken in Itachi's room that night, his brother sitting next to him on the bed. "Sasuke... are you alright?" But Itachi had looked like he was in more pain than him at the time. Itachi was clutching at his side, breathing laboriously. Not wanting to worry him, Sasuke smiled, and felt the bruises and swelling on his face pull the muscles tightly. "Yes. I'm fine." He paused. "I'll get better grades Itachi. I promise. Next time, father will be so proud of me."
"Whatever you say Sasuke," Itachi muttered then, but his eyes were still a bit unfocused.
Suddenly, a strange urge came over him, but Sasuke beat it down, blushing a tiny bit. His brother looked so... regretful. For a moment (just a moment), Sasuke had wanted to throw his arms around his brother's neck, like he used to do whenever Itachi had made that face in the past. Damn unbroken habits. "So... that's why you killed them?" he demanded, still not sure if he should entirely believe Itachi.
His brother nodded, but wouldn't look at him now. "I wouldn't let them hurt you again. Not ever."
"But then... why...." Sasuke thought for a moment, trying to find a good way to word it. "Why did you kill everybody else? If you were just mad at mom and dad, why'd you go off and kill the whole family?"
Itachi sighed again. "You don't understand, Sasuke." Suddenly, he stood, and Sasuke blushed in surprise as Itachi began to pull his shirt off. "See?" his brother asked, and Sasuke's eyes widened a little.
Thin, ropey scars crisscrossed one another all over Itachi's back. What could have possibly made marks like that? Itachi turned to face him. "You could have gone on to get good grades Sasuke. Our father wouldn't have punished you then - not for that, anyway. But if your grades slipped, even a little...." He made a helpless sort of gesture. "And then he'd start finding other reasons, different excuses. You forgot to take out the trash before school one morning, you didn't put your plate away when you were finished with supper, even something as trivial as a piece of paper you'd carelessly left in the floor. You weren't studying enough, your teacher didn't give you enough work to do. If you ever asked to go out, and especially if you ever went out without asking."
Itachi sat back down, pulling his shirt back on and flipping his ponytail out. "You were happy all the time. I didn't want to see all those things happen to you. At first I thought they would treat you differently than me. You were just a little kid back then. But then... that day, I think that's when I realized that it would never stop. Our father would never have stopped, Sasuke. He would ruin both our lives, making us feel as if it were our own fault. He would have taken everything, so...." He shrugged, looking away indifferently.
"So you killed him," Sasuke finished bluntly, but an uneasy feeling was growing in his stomach. He'd always kind of respected his father. Sasuke had only been seven years old when Itachi had slaughtered them all, so he'd never lost the childish sort of love he'd had for both of his parents. Sasuke had always believed that it was just punishment he'd been dealt that day, for getting a bad grade. Back then, he'd wanted so badly to be more like Itachi. Then, Sasuke's simple world had been torn apart.
"In this way, you are free," Itachi continued to explain. "And all the blame is completely on me."