Life is Good
Monday, October 1st, 6:00pm , Cedars-Sinai Hospital . Visiting hours have just begun, Matthew Caleb has been returned to the nursery to be accounted for as is required at the beginning of visiting hours.
From his chair by the bed Matt watched Emily closely as she finished sipping the ginger ale from her tray and leaned back against the pillows, shivering slightly in the heavily air-conditioned room.
She looked drained; her eyes were tired, her cheeks wan. Now freed from the nearly 20 pound burden of Matthew Caleb and all that came with him, she almost looked frail.
Seeing this, Matt pulled the extra blanket at the foot of the bed over her feet and sat down next to her, resting his hand on her waist, which until 11 hours ago had been as round and taught as a basketball.
"Are you sure you're up for visitors?" he asked, eyeing her gently, his other hand brushing her cheek. "They'll understand if you're not" he said quietly.
Earlier that afternoon, still on an adrenaline rush, Emily had told an anxious Lia, Cheryl and Mari (and Frank although he wouldn't admit it) that she would love to have them come during visiting hours, which were from 6:00-8:00 for non-family members.
Head resting against the pillow, Emily stared back at Matt
In the over two years she had known him, never had she seen a stronger look of love and concern; his face a picture of what his heart felt.
His eyes, dark and soft, held a worried and tender expression; his hand resting on her body was comfortingly protective.
Maybe it was wildly fluctuating hormones, or the letdown after the drama of the morning, but Emily felt a surge of emotion overtake her.
She loved him. She loved this man. Dearly. More than she thought possible.
Nobody else had ever looked at her as he was now, the very illustration of devotion.
Never had any man ever demonstrated how much he wanted HER to be happy, comfortable and safe.
And, in this instance, Emily knew, for as much as she and Matt were dedicated to caring for their son, Matt was dedicated to caring for her, just as he had vowed, 6 months ago.
Feeling happy tears deep in her chest, Emily fought them back, Matt looked worried enough. She was afraid tears, even blissful ones, might send him over the edge too.
Instead she touched his cheek with her hand, still bearing a band aid from the I.V, and nodded her head. "I love you" she said quietly, her fingers trailing his rough cheek.
"I love you too" he whispered, kissing her forehead.
10 minutes later.
'OH MY GOD…. OH…. HE'S PRECIOUS….. awwww…oh…. And look at those cheeks….." Mari said in a wistful voice, turning her head sideways to get a look at Caleb, who was lying on his side.
"I can't believe it… look at him…." Cheryl smiled, shaking her head as she leaned towards the nursery glass trying to get a better look at her old partner's new son, who, unlike earlier when Paul Flannery had visited, was the only baby NOT crying. Tightly wrapped, he was slumbering away, his round, pink cheek looking even pudgier because it was flat against the bassinet mattress.
"See- he's just like his old man- can sleep through anything" Frank laughed clapping Matt on the shoulder.
15 minutes later.
"Gees Matsunaga, quit hogging the baby- we have to go soon- and Lia and Duff are comin later so hand him over" Frank leaned over Mari who was sitting on Emily's bed, smiling at Caleb, holding him in the crook of her left arm.
"I just got him! Cheryl's the baby hog…" Mari snapped at Frank, turning towards Emily, her back facing the HRT.
"Emily, oh my God, he is just BEAUTIFUL…. Oh… look at his little eyebrows..." Mari gushed.
"Guys- you're giving Emily a headache- the woman gave birth today and you're arguing in front of her" Cheryl chiding, hands on her hips.
"Oh- look who's talking- if I recall you're the one who said "I've got first dibs, I've been his friend the lon…."
Over the heads of their co workers Emily glanced up at Matt who was standing in the corner, fingers hooked in the pocket of his jeans.
Through the happy din of their friends Emily and Matt exchanged understanding looks.
A knowing smile broke over both of their faces which said it all.
Life was good for the Flannery's.
Profound
Tuesday, October 2nd, 2007
8:11a.m, Matt and Emily's bedroom.
The crushing grind of garbage trucks awoke Matt from his dreamless sleep.
His dark eyes blinking open, Matt found himself staring at the ceiling. He hadn't moved all night; he was lying in the very same position in which he had fallen asleep.
This only happened to Matt when he was severely fatigued.
Still foggy with sleep, Matt instinctively turned towards Emily's side of the bed to look for her.
It was empty.
His mind snapped into conciousness; Emily wasn't here.
She was at the hospital.
Their son had been born yesterday.
Matthew Caleb Flannery. 8 lb, 5 ounces, 21 inches long. Born at 7:41 a.m.
Squinting at the sunlight (he had been so tired he'd even forgotten to close the curtains) Matt looked around the room.
Same curtains, same small tv on the dresser, same pile of clothes thrown halfway onto the armchair in the corner. With the exception of a tube of Burt's Bees hand lotion, at first glance, the room appeared as it had during Matt's bachelor life.
And, as it had been in previous years, Matt was alone.
Like the room, he appeared the same, but he wasn't.
He was a father.
And a husband.
It barely seemed real, sitting in these quiet, familiar surroundings by himself.
Matt felt a scratch of plastic on his wrist. Looking down he saw the pink and blue hospital bracelet on his wrist, indicating he had parental clearance to enter the maternity ward at all hours.
"Flannery, Emily and Matthew 10-1-07" it read in computerized script.
His eyes shifted to Emily's side of the bed.
The covers were still pulled back, as if she had just gotten out of bed and was in the bathroom or the kitchen.
But she wasn't.
His eyes suddenly noticed the large, dried water spot which lay in the small indent her body had made in the mattress.
It was a jolting piece of evidence: Emily's water had broken right here, Sunday night. It was proof that his wife and their newborn son were real and very much alive, he hadn't dreamed the events of yesterday.
Last night, after being awake for nearly 48 hours, Matt had completely forgotten about the sheets as he crawled into bed.
Although he had been desperately short on sleep, Matt had offered to stay at the hospital and sleep on the recliner which was in Emily's room.
Emily, seeing the puffy purple circles under his eyes had said no, he needed to go home. As much as she would have liked to have Matt near her, Emily could see he needed real rest, a real bed. She was being taken care of here in the hospital, she would need his help at home in a mere two days. The more rested they both were the better, she knew the first few nights were likely to be difficult.
Fully awake now he reached for the phone, direct dialing Emily's room.
30 seconds later.
The phone ringing on the bedside interrupted Emily's breakfast, which was surprisingly good oatmeal and coffee.
"Hello?"
Matt smiled hearing her voice.
"Hey Gorgeous- how are you feeling?"
"Not too bad…. " Emily felt warm inside hearing his voice, even though he had only been gone a few hours.
"How's the little man?"
"He's good" Emily looked wistfully over at Matthew Caleb, swaddled into a cozy cocoon in the bassinet next to her hospital bed, a knit cap on his head.
He looked so tiny.
"He's been fed and he's taking a little nap." She leaned forward against the breakfast tray, to get a better view of the sleeping infant.
Matt twirled the plastic braclet, looking at the printed pink and blue teddy bears along the edges, distinguishing it from other I.D. bracelets at Cedars-Sinai. A funny thing to give a father.
He loved it.
"I'm jumping in the shower and I'll be right there" Matt stood, suddenly anxious to get to the hospital as soon as possible.
"We'll be right here, waiting for you " Emily replied, eyes never straying from the miracle sleeping next to her.