Hawke was running through Lowtown like a mad woman. She missed them both so much and all she wanted was to run up to her mother hug her and tell her that she did it, that they can by the old estate back, to tell Carver that his a Lord now, and fuck, they could ask dear old cousin to make him a Ser if he really wanted. She was so happy when she came to a complete stop a few meters away from her uncle's door. Templars! What did they want? She was too late, they have found her. She heard the horror stories of Templars kill family and friends of apostate mages. She couldn't do this to her family. Very slowly she walked past them, holding her head up high and entered the house. Maker, lover of Andrastes! What the fuck! She must be dreaming.
"So you are back!" Carver was standing in front of her with a Templars uniform. Their mother runs up to her.
"Oh thank the Maker! Please talk some sense into him." Hawkes mouth was getting dry. She couldn't speak. Her own brother a Templar?
"Carver, what are you wearing?" He straightens his back and looked at her straight in the eye.
"I've joined the Templar Order. There is no point in trying to talk me out of it; it is done" Rose's eyes filled with tears, while their mother was crying behind Carver.
"Are you sure this is wise? This isn't like being a knight." Carvers face turned red.
"I know that! I am not an idiot! I want to be someone. Like father wanted. Like I want. This is my chance." But Rose knew. She understood her brother's wishes to be someone, but not like this. Their mother runs up to them with tears in her eyes. Carver puts an arm around her.
"Carver, please! The order is so dangerous!" Carver's eyes filled up with tears now. He didn't want to hurt his mother or his sister. He loved them more than anything, but he knew this is what he must do.
"I'll be fine mother. You don't need to worry about me. And you don't need to worry about me turning you in. I know the value of family."And just like that her baby brother walked out of her life. Rose chased after him.
"Carver, what about Merill?"Carver lowered his eyes and blushed.
"I am doing it for her, as well as for you big sister. I am your insider now. This courtesy does extent to the healer as well, but I will keep my eyes on him sis! I love you." Rose collapsed on the spot, tears were running uncontrollably. Her father, her sister and now her brother are abandoning her. Anders words came into her mind. You are a mischievous, foolish little girl, playing with people's feelings with no purpose in life. He was right, she didn't know why she really wanted to join the Deep Roads expedition, it looked like fun in the beginning, but now... nothing made sense and he doesn't want to see her anymore, just like her brother. Queen Anora came and sat next to her and started howling, knowing she has lost a brother as well.
DADADADADADADADADADA
Anders was laying on his uncomfortable, lumpy and ever so small cot, and as usual he was thinking about Hawke. It's been three years since he last saw her. He has seen her around the town, public ceremonies, he even glimpsed at her at the Chantry a few times, sitting with that obnoxious choir- prince. Well at least he knew she wouldn't try her usual tricks with him, uhhh, who was he trying to deceive, of course she would. He heard about her and Isabela. Maker, what was Hawke thinking letting Isabela to touch her. He shivered just with the thought of it. The correct term will be he hasn't spoken to her for over three years now. To be completely honest with himself, he didn't even know what to say to her. Oh sorry I've been such an ass, or, oh I am in love with you because you remind me of your cousin. Shit, he was so fucked up. He didn't love her because she reminded him of Solona; he was in love with her because she was this obnoxious little girl. She was the woman that made him laugh with stupid jokes, or with her drinking games of charades, the woman that was right there next to him when mages needed their help, well, not for a while, but he knew if he asked her, she would have raced him into battle, because that's the kind of girl she is. It was all foolish dreams though; he was so deep into the Mage Resistance that he didn't dare ask her to join him. She was a respectable citizen now; he had her whole life in front of her. No, this is for the best.
Lost in his thought he didn't see or hear the small hooded figure that entered his dark clinic.
"Anders, are you asleep?" Anders froze, not daring to breath. What is she doing at this godforsaken hour in Darktown, she could get hurt. Then he smiled and thought: Well she IS Hawke.
"Anders can I talk to you?"She shifted on her feet and turn to go.
"I am here Hawke, what do you need to talk about? You should have waited until morning; it is not safe for you." He lit his arm so she could see where she was going. When he saw her, he got so concentrate looking at her that he almost set his bed on fire. Her small body was covered by a deep purple cape with a hood that covered half her face. She came closer and she pushed the hood back. She was the most beautiful think that he ever saw. Her hair has grown so long, and her eyes reflected the purple cape, giving her eyes a lavender color. She looked like a creature from the Fade; a Desire demon.
"Hey" That's all he managed to say to her. Hey? Maker he felt like an idiot. For the first time in his life he didn't know what to say. The man that had most women at hello was starting this woman unable to talk. Solona never made him feel so uneasy. She walked closer and she sat on his cot. He jumped up as if electricity went through his body. Oh Maker! Rose -scented perfume. He must be dreaming, this isn't happening to him. No, this is a bad joke, or a nightmare. That's right! He is in the Fade and he is imagining things.
"So,... how's the clinic going? Do you need anything? I can help you, you know. I am not a bad healer myself."Anders through a small fireball and lighted the candles on his small desk. She removed her cape to reveal a long purple dress, where her shoulders were exposed but the sleeves were long up to her ankles. It was plain with silver trimming and a simple thin silver belt, which reached her knees after a small knot in the front. No jewellery, except a small pendant of the Amell crest.
"Ummm, yeah, that will be great Hawke. I am not that busy though lately, which it's a good thing if you really think about it." This was so painful and he was pretty sure he was gawking at her but he didn't really care, he was content there, leaning on the wall, looking at her, smelling her perfume.
"We've missed you at The Hanged Man you know. Corff wants to be a writer now. Varric is most upset about the news, well he was, until he heard some of the stories and he decided that his job is secure. You know, after all these years I still don't quite understand what Varric does. And did you know that Merill found some kittens, if you ever wanted another cat that is. I wouldn't bring him to Darktown though; he might end up as somebody's dinner. You could keep him at my place if you like. Also did you know that Prince Sebastian of Starkhaven started hanging out with us now? He is really interesting person, well, only when he drinks enough to forget that he is a brother of the Chantry, that's when he gets really funny. What else... ummm oh and I think Aveline is eyeing that young guard we saved a few years back, what was his name, ummm... Donnic. That's what his name is. Oh sorry Anders, I am just rumbling now, I need to stop!" She was the most adorable thing in the world. Watching her talking about mundane things that really didn't interest him, while she was sitting on his old tattered cot wearing her finery was enough to drive any man insane. Control yourself Anders! The Mage Resistance doesn't need silly little girls!
"Also I have a huge favor to ask you. Is so stupid really, but here it goes. You see there is this Ball at the De Launcet mansion tomorrow night and I am short of an escort , companion or a date? Mother needs to attend another party and if I take Isabela or Varric they just end up doing something stupid, Merill and Fenris end up passing as my servants which angers Fenris and Merill breaks down to tears, Sebastian doesn't attend parties, apparently Andrste didn't know how to have fun, and Aveline told me to shove a canary up my coal mine, very Orlesian of her. So, all I have is well... you. Please say yes!" Was she for real? She wants him to attend a party with her? Has she seen him lately? He hasn't shaven in couple of weeks, his clothes were stained with blood and he is an apostate and probably branded a Blood Mage.
"Hawke, you don't want to be seen with me. I mean look at me. Also, what I am going to talk about with this people? I was brought up in the Circle remember? They don't teach you pleasantries and fancy dances. To them, I am a street rat Hawke, a mage rat." Hawke got up and placed her cape back on. She raised her hood and she raced out of the clinic without a single glance.
Anders felt like the retched creature that he was. She came here to build a bridge and he pushed her off that bridge. He needs to fix this and fast. He needs clothes, and proper boots, and he needed to learn a couple of dances before tomorrow night. Right, where can he get fashionable clothes, and boots and lessons? He only knew one person that could provide him with those things. Varric. Maker his going to regret this.
DADADADADADADADADADA
"Varric please, I need your help. I need an outfit for a ball tonight and a pair of good boots, oh and a couple of basic dances."Varric stared him in disbelief until he started laughing so hard that he almost fell off his seat.
"Oh Blondie, where do you get this shit? You almost had me there for a second. Hahaha! That was a good one. I am so glad to see that the renegade mage persona wasn't really paying."Anders started to get really annoyed at Varric but he knew snapping at him will only make things worse.
"Varric, I am not joking. Hawke came to me last night and asked me to escort her at the De Launcet Ball. Please, you are the only one that can help me."Varric studied him, opened his mouth once to say something, he shut it and he tried again.
"Blondie, you are not joking. By the Ancestors! Ok follow me. We need to go to Hightown for all this shit." On their way out Isabela saw them running and she caught up with them.
"What are you two doing running like thieves? You finally out of the closet Varric?"Anders growled at her but Varric laughed and made her a sign to follow.
"Well you see Rivaini, Hawke and Anders here, have a date, so Blondie here needs something more decent to wear than a feathered jacket don't you think? Also my dancing skills are not the best, so how are yours?"Isabela's face lit up. Anders knew he was going to regret this but... he had no other choice.
They started walking through Hightown stalls and shops, until Isabela pointed at a tailor's shop.
"Ohhh, I know him! He owns me a favor or two. Come on you two." They entered the shop and the tailor greeted them graciously. They explained to him what they wanted and he was more than happy to help any of Isabela's friends. He removed everything but his small clothes which made Isabela purr by the sight of him. He knew his body was pleasant in the eye, even with the hundreds of scars that covered it, but he was not comfortable the way Isabela was circling him.
They were in the shop for over two hours and Anders was getting very impatient. In five hours he will be with her, but his mind was more concern that the tailor spent way too much time placing pins at his crotch. He better not make any damage or he was going to turn him to something unnatural. Isabela was circling and looking at him like a hungry shark.
"Is it something you need Isabela?" He gave her a look of annoyance but she chose to ignore it. She stroked him arm and traced with a finger a big scar on his back. He got that during their battle with the Mother.
"You know Anders, I can see why Hawke likes you so much. I can't believe I haven't noticed you before. Remember our previous conversation? Handcuffs, whipped cream, me always on top? I bet is been a while for you. I can refresh your memory and I wouldn't mind trying that electricity trick of yours. I bet if Andraste had a go at it she wouldn't have been so upset with the mages. So what do you say? Even Justice can take part if he really wants to."Anders reaction was not what Isabela expected. He grabbed her arm and pulled her close to his face, Justice appearing in his eyes for a glimpse of a second before Anders honey eyes stared back at her.
"Don't you ever touch me or talk to me like that again you whoring pirate. I wouldn't even try to comprehend what Hawke sees in you, but she is easily persuaded into stupid and impossible situations. So you better be good to her or I will come after you." The words came to him without thinking but Isabela's eyes soften. Varric moved forward on his chair and moved his arm ever so slowly for Bianca.
"Anders, me and Hawke have fun. You see, you might have forgotten how to have some;but Hawke is trying her best to have some. They will be no broken heart from my behalf. NOW, the one you should really worry is Fenris. Since you have been avoiding her for the last three years, his been getting closer to her, with walks to the beach, every time she leaves The Hanged Man escorting her home, morning walks at Hightown looking at snow balls, her new hobby by the way, don't ask, and all those nights her on top of him... teaching him how read. Now realise my arm or I will cut your hand off." Anders left his arm dropped and looked at Isabela, she patted him on the shoulder and she went and sat next to Varric. Varric sat back and patted Isabela on the knee, which in return she smiled back at him.
DADADADADADADADADADA
"NO! I prefer to chew my feet off than go and ask him for help, and anyways why will he help me? You think he would look kindly of me trying to impress Hawke? No. Absolutely and totally no."Isabela was dragging Anders through Hightown while Varric followed behind with a stuck of wrapped bundles. He was mumbling to himself and trying to hide his face behind the bundles, hoping nobody will recognize him.
"Come on Blondie, we don't really have time to please your stupid pride. Is good to know that you want to impress Hawke. You either ask his help or go to the Ball with Hawke and look like a tit because you can't dance, embarrassing Hawke at the same time."Anders looked at Varric and dropped his shoulders. He was a defeated man. The whole idea was as ridiculous as him going at this ball. What was he thinking? That's right! He was thinking with his cock. He hasn't thought with it since he joined the Grey Wardens, all that stamina going to waste. NO! Your cock is what got you into this mess in the first time Anders! Turn back and go to the clinic now!
They reached the mansion and they walked in without knocking. The place was filthy, but tidy; hmmm at least his clinic was clean. His never been inside the mansion, he always stayed outside when Hawke walked in the past, which he was regretting now, giving him so much time alone with her, while he stood outside. You are a fool Anders!
Fenris was sitting in the study room by the fire place trying to read a book about the Dalish. Merill gave it to him and laughed at her, telling her that he didn't give a fig about the Dalish, but Hawke insisted that he should read it, with her help of course. He smiled remembering her warm breath near his face when she bend down to correct him. Half the time he did that on purpose just to feel her close to him. He was glad that the abomination was out of her life, but it also disturbed him that he had strong feelings for a mage. He had feelings for a woman that if she lived in Tevinter could have owned him, torture him.
He looked up and saw Varric walking up the stairs while Isabela was dragging a man at the door. What have they done now? Fasta vass! It's Anders. Why was Isabela dragging him in his house? Has the abomination done something and they want him to rip his heart out? A small smirk appeared on his lips but disappeared as quickly when he thought of Hawke. Has he done something to Rose? His tattoos lit up as he walked up at the top of the stairs to greet Varric.
"Hey Elf how's it hanging? Hehehe, funny story. Well, you see Blondie here needs your help."Varric pointed at Anders that looked at him with half revulsion, half embarrassment. This should be interesting, he thought. Anders looked at Fenris and thought that he might as well enjoy this, cause it sure like hell Fenris is not going to like it.
"Fenris, I need your help. You see Hawke came to me late last night and asked me to escort her to this Ball at the De Launcet mansion. I was wondering if you coud help me with a few dancing lessons. Varric said that you are good at it."Anders tried very hard to hide his amusement when Fenris lips draw up and showed his teeth and looked like the vulgar animal that he was, his tattoos glowing in the poorly- lidded room. Isabela jumped in the middle and hugged them both.
"Now, now pups. I think you need to play nicely together otherwise Hawke will be one sat puppy if you don't. Now, Fenris you need to teach Anders a couple simple dances, and Anders, you need to shut up and pay attention to Fenris,... surprisingly small feet." Varric smirked and walked up to an armchair, sat down comfortably and lit his pipe, while Isabela held Fenris and Anders by their shirt collars.
"No, I can't teach him." Fenris fists were tight while staring Anders with pure hate. Anders turned around and smiled.
"It's ok Isabela, the elf doesn't know how. I wouldn't expect anything less. He is a slave after all."Silence felt in the room. He knew his words were cruel and hurtful and he didn't regret them but he hoped Fenris will bite the bait. He started walking at the door and nobody tried to stop him.
"WAIT! I didn't say I don't know how. I said I can't because abominations shouldn't dance... especially with Hawke. But if it will make her happy then I will do it, for her and nobody else. And Isabela, I do now have small feet, they are sufficient for an elf" Anders face lit with a triumphant smile but disappeared as quickly as it appeared.
"Thank you Fenris, I really appreciate it. I will try and please Hawke, with your dancing moves."Anders gave him an innocent smile, while Varric groaned and shook his head. Fenris just growled.
"Now place your left hand at my waist, No! Higher abomination! You will be dancing with a lady not a whore. Not offence Isabela." Isabela shook her hands showing that not offense was taken and Fenris continued. "Place your right one on top of by palm. Now I will be Hawke, and you will be, well, you. Although Hawke has very interesting pair of shoes, as I noted from the many parties that I attended with her, you never ever look at her feet. Oh, and Anders! Your bodies except your hands never, ever touch. DO YOU UNDERSTAND?"Anders gave him a nod and a charming smile and Fenris starts to move and count.
After two hours of shouting, stumping feet and curses Anders felt confident enough with three dances. He looked at Fenris graceful body demonstrating with Isabela, while Isabela snickered. He looked so sure, so confident to lead Isabela even though she didn't really know the moves. How can a slave have so much confidence?
"Where did you learn to dance Fenris?" His curiosity was genuine when he asked and no malice was portrayed on his face.
"My master... Danarius... would have me practicing with him. Also he used me to teach Hedrianna, his pupil, amongst other people. I didn't mind it. It was a lot better than the other things he asked me to do with him." He let go of Isabela and he started walking up the stairs. He looked at Anders with sadness.
"That will suffice abomination. Make sure she has a good time. But if you upset her tonight, you will answer to me."Anders heard the threat in his tone, but he will not have this elf to have the last word.
"Oh, but Fenris! That's exactly what you want me to do. So you could be there to pick up the pieces. I wonder elf; do you sleep at her doorstep at night? You know, lay on her doormat and hope that she will let you in? She does have a soft spot for dogs. Me, I am more of a cat person. They are more independent." And with that he walked at the door. He wasn't going to wait and see his reaction. Tonight he will make Hawke see him how he really is, no, how he used to be before Justice, before Solona. Anders you kid yourself!
DADADADADADADADADADA
Hawke was soaking in her bathtub. Orana always knew how to get the right temperature. She was staring at her new dress that was hanging outside her wardrobe. It was a gold satin one, with no sleeves to hold it but a gold chain around her neck. It was tight, in all the right places her mother said, her back half exposing her rose vine tattoo. Hopefully the wolf will be sleeping tonight. It always reacted according to her feelings. If she was angry it will growl and snarl, if she was sad it will roll into a ball and howl and when she was happy it will bark and jump around like a pup. But the worst one was when she was nervous. It will walk up and down her back and on her shoulders, like an animal in a cage not knowing what to do. It reminded her of Fenris. Nobody knew that the wolf were her emotions. Only her father understood what the Tevinter did.
She got out of the bathtub and dried herself. She wore her lace smallclothes and put on the dress, but when she looked at herself in the mirror she noticed their lining was visible. Well, no smallclothes after all. She liked the dresses, the shoes and all the finery but she hated these gatherings. Nobility is not what she imagined it to be, Beth would have loved it though. She sighted, picked her hair up and secured them with a gold hair ornament she bought this morning in the market. A couple of times she thought she saw Anders with Isabela but she knew that was impossible. She picked up her high heel sandals and placed them on her small feet. She hated her feet. There way to small but the shoemaker always managed to get them right.
Suddenly there was a knock on the door and Bodahn walked in. He gave her a look of approval and he added.
"Ummm, there is an unannounced lord here to see you Mistress Hawke. Sorry he wouldn't give me his name, he is chatting with your mother downstairs."Hawke kissed Bodahn on the forehead and walked out of door.
She walked slowly to try and spy who this rude lord was. If it was that annoying Lord Woodford she would fireball him with no remorse. She will gladly go to the Circle for that. Probably women will place a statue in her memory. As she drew closer to the railings she heard his voice.
"Lady Hawke, always a pleasure seeing you. You look stunning this evening. Will you be accompanying us tonight? I look forward dancing with you." Her mother laughed but informed him that she was invited to a different party and it will be just him and Rose. Hawkes heart was beating quicker and quicker, her wolf pacing up and down, climbing on her shoulder, snarling at her ear. She moved closer and saw him. Maker! She needs to start breathing. He looked... mesmerizing. She couldn't remove her eyes from him.
A soft stubble shadowed his smooth face while his hair was in his usual ponytail and a gold earring on his right ear. She smiled at the sight of it. His clothes were well tailored and she knew he couldn't afford so she made a mental note to thank Varric. He was wearing a pair of black boots, and his black leather trousers,oh so snugged against his legs and umm, oh my... with a belt that had a sword attached to it. Can he even use that sword? She laughed and he turned his gaze up and looked at her. A roguish smile appeared on his lips. He walked in the middle of the room with his arms raised on his side while he turned around a couple of times for inspection. His white laced sleeves and collar shirt wwas popping from his tight leather jacket. A black cape was resting on a chair. She laughed and clapped in approval.
She walked down the stairs and he met her at the bottom with a bouquet of white roses. She smelled their sweet perfume and suddenly tiny butterflies flew through them and disappeared into thin air. She laughed and giggled like a little girl as she stood at her toes to place a kiss on his cheek.
"Being a mage has its advantages. I heard anyway. You look amazing Hawke. I mean wow. Can you go around town like this instead of your usual robes? I mean this town needs some class!"He took her hand and with a small bow he kissed it. He was perfect.
"Now off you go dear, and try and have a good time you two. I know I will." said her mother while she escorted them out. Anders helped her with her white cape and once he put on his they walked out.
"Ready to do this mage?"Hawke asked him with a grin on her face.
"It can't be worse than fighting Templars!"He replied with a wink and they started walking to the mansion.
DADADADADADADADADADA
Once they entered the mansion everyone turned and looked at them. They looked prefect together, two apostates, she looked perfect at his side. For a second he imagined himself being with her like this, married with a couple of children, attending parties, going picnics with their friends. You are a foolish man Anders! A slap back to reality. No, he was an apostate mage, a Grey Warden, possessed by a spirit that every day was turning into the spirit of Vengeance not Justice.
"Lady Hawk and her companion, Master Anders." Anders looked around and everyone bowed low at them. He returned the bow and walked in with Hawke at his arm.
Tonight will be about her. He will not bring up the Mage oppression. He will not hustle her with his problems. He will drink and dance with her, he will laugh with her and he will make her happy. For just one night only, yes, and then he will ask nothing from her again because he wants her to be happy.
Nobility bowed to her, Templars kissed her hand, men desired her and women envied her. She laughed with their stupid jokes, she drank their wine through crystal cups, and she ate their food. The servants circled her as a gold coin here and a gold coin there fell discreetly and "accidentally" into their trays. She will give him her secret smile or kiss his cheek but she will never leave his arm. He could see men envied him and he was happy and proud to have her at his side. A Templar is coming your way Anders! Anders turned around and he froze on the spot. Cullen.
"Lady Hawke, a pleasure to see you as always." He kissed her hand and looked at Anders. He smiled at him and he continued. "Anders! I have heard that you were friends with Lady Hawke but I never had the pleasure to see you at her company."Cullens smile was not cruel or malicious but his tone was cautious. "Your brother sends his regards Lady Hawk. He misses you dearly." Hawke laughed at the last one.
"Dear Cullen, we both know that my brother missed this Ball BECAUSE he wanted to avoid me, as to the fact that he is missing me... well, he may come and visit anytime he wants. My doors are open to all Templars."Anders looked at her with disbelief, what was she saying to this Templar? She is welcoming Templars to her house now? But she is a mage. She is their pawn Anders!
"Lady Hawk, may I make an observation? As you know and I think Anders will agree with me but your resemblance to your cousin is astounding. Solona Amell was a very special woman to me you know, she even saved my life."Cullen's eyes glazed for a bit before he shook his head and continued. "My Lady, care to dance with me?"and Hawke for the first time during the whole night let go of him arm.
He watched her walking away from him, her wolf growling and snarling at an unknown threat, placing her slender, delicate and deadly little fingers on this man's body and they danced together. She laughed as they turned round and round, him whispering in her ear. Did he imagine that he was dancing with Solona, or does Cullen know that he is dancing with Hawke? Could Cullen talk to Hawke without once thinking of Solona? Because he couldn't. She is the enemy now Anders you know it!NO! He walked up to the couple and tapped Cullen on the shoulder.
"Excuse me Templar for cutting in but I have been here all night with this beautiful woman and I haven't danced with her once. I mean I even took dancing lessons for Makers Sake. Is not like they teach you to Foxtrot in the Circle, do they Cullen." Cullen took a couple of seconds to recover but he bowed to Hawke and Anders and he walked away in silence. Anders took Cullen's spot and started dancing with her. Hawke smiled at him and then laughed at how mechanically and awkwardly he danced. She leaned close to him and she whispered in his ear, her warm breath on his skin.
"Remind me to thank Fenris for the dancing lessons, His the one that taught me to dance as well you know. He is so graceful when he dances." Anders looked at her with bewilderment in his eyes. What in the Makers name was she doing?
He grabbed her hand and started pulling her though the nearest door, which to his bad luck was the kitchen. He looked around with a wild look and the servants pointed another door, which he went through without letting go Hawkes hand. The next door leaded to small balcony with flowers and citrus trees. Hawke looked at Anders, which he let go of her hand and he was mumbling to himself. He looked up at her and they were tears in his eyes.
"How can you do this Hawke? I can see that this doesn't make you happy. This is not who you are. Walking around Templars, whispering into their ears sweet words, noblemen staring at you like a priced pony, lust in their eyes. Since when do you prefer the Templars over your own people? Solon... you shouldn't accept that."She slapped him. She was crying, but her wolf tattoo moved on her shoulder, and it was howling, growling and snarling at him, moving from one shoulder to the other. What magic is this! She started moving backwards away from him.
"Say it Anders SAY IT!. Solona wouldn't accept it. Well I have news for you mage! She does accept it; she whispers sweet words to a Templar every night. You know King Alistair used to be Templar right? Oh yes, and he whispers back at her, amongst other things" the wolf howled a heart- breaking howl before it started showing its teeth at him once again."You want to know why I let the Templars near me, why I let them surround me? There is an old saying Anders: "Keep your friends close, keep your enemies closer". Have you ever heard of it? Oh, did it ever occur to you why the Templars always seem to pass by your clinic without stopping to inspect it? You think is Justice that keeps them away or Solona? No Anders, it's me! Rose Hawke. You know, I thought if I invited you tonight, you will see me who I truly am, to love me for who I am, not because I remind you of my cousin. But you never will. Carver felt my shadow was over him, he can't imagine how it feels to know that the person that I care most, when he sees me, he sees her, to be compared with her, and every day someone would pass me for the great Hero of Ferelden." She stopped moving and she was leaning on the railings. She was sobbing uncontrollably.
Anders was staring at her numbly. She was right; she wasn't Solona Amell, she was the beautiful, wild Rose Hawke. The woman that is been helping him with the Mage Resistance and their plight since day one. He never asked her to but she did. She protected him from the Templars, which ultimately kept Justice at bay. What a fool of a man he was? It was suppose to be her night. He was supposed to make her happy. Fenris won, Fenris knew that Anders will always make Rose miserable. He needs to stay away from her once and for all. Good Anders!QUIET JUSTICE!
Anders run up to Hawke and grabbed her face in his hands and he kissed her. Her lips soft and sweet, her perfume surrounding him. She pressed her body on his and she responded to his kiss. She was hungry for him, and he kissed her deep, savoring her, feeling her warmth, feeling her shivering at his touch, the wolf on her shoulder, rolled into a ball whimpering and howling in pain. Maker he wanted her, but he couldn't have her. He removed his lips from hers and she moaned. Anders kissed Hawkes forehead, hold her in his arms for a few more precious moments and then he walked away. Leaving her all alone, her wolf howling in pain.
DADADADADADADADADADA
Hawke walked slowly back home. Queen Anora carried her shoes and whimpered at her mistress, trying to ease her pain. Nothing could ease Hawkes pain anymore. He was utterly lost to her. She understood that, she accepted that now. What a foolish little girl she truly was. What did she actually expect that he was going to do? Sweep her off her feet and run with her in his arms. She was laughing with her own stupidity when Bodahn open the door for her. He dropped her cape in his arms and headed for her room.
"Ummmm... Mistress Hawke there..."Hawke looked at him and shook her head.
"Whatever it is, it can wait until tomorrow."She didn't care; all she wanted was to die. She could go to the Gallows and ask them to turn her to a Tranquil, that way she could never feel again. Why did he kiss her if he didn't love her, maybe he imagined kissing her when it kissed her. She swore if she ever came face to face with Solona Amell she would rib her heart out and feed it to Queen Anora. The image made her laugh as she entered her room. She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't notice the elf sitting by the fireplace. The minute the door shut behind her the pain grew uncontrollable. She collapsed on the floor and started crying. Fenris jumped from the chair that he was sleeping and picked her in his arms.
"Hawke, are you ok? What's the matter? Are you hurt? Shall I bring you a health poultice?" He placed her on her bed and started checking her body for any injuries but he found none and then he noticed the wolf. The wolf was staring at him, studying him, it whined at him and run down her dress to hide. He has seen this kind of magic in Tevinter before. Slaves usually have them so their masters know how they feel. How Hawke ended up with one is beyond him, but he could read it very well. She was in pain. Anders! He stood next to the bedpost staring at her while she was crawled into a ball and when her sobbing gone quieter he asked her:
"What did that abomination done to you? Give me the word and I will rib his heart out for you. No more tears little bird, please" Fenris meant every word. Hawke just shook her head but she kept crying. Fenris was at lost, he never had to comfort anybody, and nobody ever comforted him, not that he could remember anyway. "Command me to leave and I will Hawke." That's all he could think to say. That's all he knew.
"No, just lay next to me and hold me."Fenris heart flattered. Hawke wanted him to share her bed? Memories of Danarius flickered in front of his eyes. No! Hawke is different. Hawke needed him because a mage hurt her. He removed his armor, placed it on her desk and sat on her bed uncomfortably. Hawke got up and unbuttoned her dress and it dropped on the floor like liquid gold. Maker she was beautiful, standing there in front of him, naked, only for his eyes. He looked away blushing. It was different playing their kissing games in The Hanged Man with Isabela or try to provoke that abomination. But he couldn't stop thanking that abomination for sending her his way. He had the final word after all.
Hawke turned his head at her direction and she unbuttoned his shirt, he didn't fight, but he wasn't making it easy for her either. Suddenly he jumped up and grabbed her from the waist and placed her legs around his naked waist, and he kissed her. Not like the kisses in The Hanged Man, these kisses were feral, angry, hungry his tattoos lighting up while she felt her magic charging up without commanding it. With a swift turn, he through her on the bed and climbed on top of her, he kissed her face, her neck, he sucked and bit her nipples, her magic simmering inside her his tattoos brightening the whole room. He was not gentle with her, but she didn't want him to be, he needed him now and he was there for her. He was always there when she needed him. He was always there to pick her up, to care for her even though he knew he cared for someone else.
His fingers found her warm moist entrance and she moaned. He remembered the nights that Denerius called him in his bed and his tattoos will light up for him as well. Feeling his adrenaline running through him like fire in his vein but he knew this time was different. He loved this mage under him, this mage craved his touch because she cared, Danarius just tortured him. He found her lips again and he kissed her, wishing that she was his. Hawke pushed him over her and he lay flat on the bed, and he panicked. What was Hawke doing? Why was she pushing him away? She smiled at him with a sad smile and she unbuttoned his trousers. With a swift pull they were off, trousers and his smallclothes. Hawke drew her breath seeing that his tattoos were also entwined in his penis. She smiled at him and she lay next to him, kissing him when he felt her conjuring an electricity spell. He looked at her in horror.
"Trust me!"He shook his head and closed his eyes. Suddenly this extreme emotion came over him. He opened his eyes and saw Hawke sucking his penis, it felt good, small electrical pulses were entwining with his lyrium tattoos. He felt ecstatic; nobody ever pleased him or cared much about it but... By the Maker he could die right now happy.
Fenris stopped her and pushed her on the bed and entered her with force. She screamed and Fenris smiled, and kissed and bit her lips, while his hands played with her nipples, his tattoos were playing with her magic, driving her insane, and every thrust of his she felt her magic inside her sizzling like hot lava. His thrusts became quicker and more violent but she didn't care, she lost count how many times she finished, but again, she didn't care.
Hawks face was red, her body was boiling hot, a naked goddess under him and he loved her. Forget Danarius, he had her now, she was his. He emptied inside her with a violent thrust while she was biting down her shoulder. When he looked at her again he noticed that half her body was hanging off the bed, blood dripping from her shoulder. He laughed and pulled her up and she returned the smile. They lay in bed, her laying on his chest, playing with his tattoos, when he felt her relax. He looked at her wolf and it was asleep, she was sleeping. He kissed her forehead and she moved ever so slightly.
"I love you Anders." That's all she said.
Fenris eyes filled with tears that started running down his cheeks. He can't have her after all, not completely, and he felt selfish. If he is going to have her he wants her heart as well as her body, if he wanted just a body he would've gone to Isabela. No, he wanted Rose, his wild beautiful flower, his little bird. She was so small in his arms, her silver hair, the same as his. He wondered how come her hair is the same color as his. Magic did that to him, did magic do that to her as well?
Fenris got up and started getting dress when Hawke moved and looked at him with puffy eyes.
"Where are you going?" Fear and sadness was portrayed on her face.
"This is wrong Hawke, I was supposed to comfort you and I used you. I will only bring you pain. I am a runaway elf slave, you are Lady Hawk. No Rose, don't make this worse please."She was crying.
He opened the door and he run downstairs and out in the cold air. Maker, he was as bad as Anders, no, he was worse than Anders, at least Anders walked away before he even tasted her. He was smarter man than him, because now he just walked away from the only person that made him truly happy.
Hawke was laying naked on her bed crying silence tears. Tomorrow she will walk to the Gallows and she will request to become a Tranquil. There was nothing to it.
A/N: Sorry about the extra long chapter but I couldn't stop writing. Also Fenris teaching Anders to dance had to be mentioned, HEHEHE, . But another problem appeared while I was writing. I feel for Fenris as well now. *snif* So I am conflicting in my heart if Rose should end up with Anders or Fenris or shall I make her a Tranquil and be done with. Ideas?
Who knows... Anders might get a pussy... cat after all;)
R&R please. Be critical and judgmental but nice about it. Love you all