Fujiko Mine was a very beautiful chick, no one doubted this, least of all Fujiko herself. She primped and shampooed and curled and all other sorts of girly things to keep herself looking good.
It was this obsession with perfection that led to her downfall.

One day, while Fujiko was dining with rich sap #320, he mentioned that thin women are what everyman wants.
"And you always have the best, don't you darling?" said Mine with a coy smile that was as real as her hair color.
"I do. But don't let that worry ya, sweetie. I like my women plump."
After letting the poor bozo pick up the check, Fujiko quickly dumped him.
Imagine, calling me plump! Fumed the vixen. She looked in a nearby window. She hated to admit it, but she wasn't as young as she used to be. While she had always tried to keep her figure perfect, years of free-loading and back stabbing will do things to a girl. And Fujiko was by no means a girl any longer.
She walked sadly down the street, until she happened to see a new spa. Fujiko decided she had earned a treat and stepped in. The broad happened to notice a magazine with the cover story, "How to lose pounds and inches in minutes a day!" She flipped open the story, and found out that the best way to trip down her lard filled derrière was to cut out calories, especially sugar.
There were even groups for this purpose, so she stole the magazine to read later.

The next day, she went to a meeting. At the meeting they served sweet tea.
"How can they serve this sweet tea with all the calories?" Fujiko thought.
"How can we serve this sweet tea with all the calories?" Madame President asked the assembly. "Simple! Through the wonders of Splenda! It's made from sugar so it tastes like sugar!"
Fujiko tried the tea. It did taste like sugar! The President droned on and on about Splenda, and Fujiko just kept drinking the tea.
Time seemed to slip by, and before she knew it, dinner had rolled around.
"Why don't you stay here, at the club? We have a special program about Splenda you'd enjoy," The other club members asked.
Fujiko couldn't say "No". She had one more glass of tea and went to dinner.
The meal tasted a bit odd, but she was assured it was lo-calorie, and that was why. Mine drank more Splenda tea, and went to bed.
That night, she dreamed of something large and yellow chasing her…but then she woke up.
She breakfasted on more odd tasting food, had more tea, and went to some low impact yoga classes. Lunch and dinner were similar.
That night, the yellow object was bigger, but she didn't know what it was.

This was Fujiko's life for two weeks. Until one night she wanted to find out once and for all what this dream was about.
Fujiko found herself in a dark place, food floated about her. She tried to eat but it tasted funny. Like the lo-cal stuff they served at her fat-farm place. Suddenly, a thumping was heard. It shook the room. Food started crashing down and whirling about. Fujiko started running like a liberal from issues.
But, it kept coming. It was right behind her. She forced herself to turn around and look.
It was a large papery thing, a bag of some sort, and the top was torn off to create a huge, gaping, chomping mouth. Then, she noticed the bag had some writing.
"Oh, no!" the woman screamed. "The Splenda monster!"
She woke up in a cold sweat. She realized then what was so funny with the food: It all tasted like aluminum.

The next morning, Fujiko casually decided to check out.
Before she left, they offered her a cookie. She knew it was made with Splenda, but she still found herself eating the whole plate.
"What's happened to me?" she cried.
"It's the Splenda!" the President cackled. "Once you eat enough, you can never get away! Bwahaha!"
A huge mirror was pulled out of a secret closet, and Fujiko saw with horror that she was now twelve-hundred pounds!
She tried to run, but she tripped and couldn't get up.
Fujiko the beauty queen was so fat, she cried and rocked herself to sleep.

Fujiko laughed when she read the story, and said that she wouldn't take down her evil yaoi fics and photos.
Then she put up a full profile picture of herself in her MySpace page, so any damage Jigen could have done was essentially nullified.
Jigen didn't seem to mind.
"Why are you in such a happy mood?" Lupin asked.
"Because that felt great! Fujiko has deserved something like that for so long!"
"Seems more like wish fulfillment to me," Lupin observed. "I guess that's all stories, really."
Jigen gave a Lupin a glance of annoyance. "So, those yaoi fics with you and Zenigata…Those are Fujiko's wishes?"
"Okay! Okay! I spoke too hastily!"
"She's your woman Lupin…But I wonder…"
"Stop it!"
Lupin thought for a moment. "Wish fulfillment, eh?"
Lupin left the room and started typing away on his laptop.
Goemon said from his meditation. "Now he will be writing his wishes. He certainly won't be writing anything bad about Fujiko."
Jigen smiled. "Knowing Lupin, though, his wishes will be scarier than mine for Fujiko."
Goemon nodded and went back to meditating.
Jigen decided to write another fic.

Meanwhile, Zenigata discovered Fan Fiction . Net.
"Wow! I'm a star!"
A few minutes later, however…
"What…in the…name of Columbo is going on here? I'll kill 'em!"