Borderlands is owned by Gearbox, while Worm is owned by Wildbow. I own neither.
/
So, after listening to my previous entry again, I realized I hadn't described the other Vault Hunters all that well.
Firstly we have Axton. He is an ex-sergeant in the Dahl Corporate Army (the marks above his eye that I mentioned are his rank tabs). He hasn't told me why, but apparently he had a disagreement with his superiors. As you don't leave the corporate armies (other than in a body bag, anyways), he went AWOL. Did bounty hunting for a bit, and then ended up here when he heard about the vault. For the most part he's fairly cool, but he has an ... unnatural level of attraction to the autoturret that he liberated from the army when he left. Hehe, he just finished repairing it, and he was muttering things like "Oh, honey, sorry for letting those nasty bullymongs near you, I'll do better next time, I swear".
Next is Gaige. She's about my age (so, 15 or 16). Back home she'd be classed as a Tinker, though they don't powers here. That floating robot I mentioned? It is her freaking high-school science fair project, and is called "Deathtrap". From her rants, it only came third because the plans were stolen by one of the popular girls. Who bullied her constantly and has a rich dad. I must admit to having a lot of sympathy for her. Anyway, during the fair she was shoved by her tormentor Marcy, which caused DT to identify Marcy as a hostile. DT attacked Marcy, Marcy exploded, Gaige escaped and bought a ticket to Pandora. Despite the shooting lessons she has been receiving, she still just sprays bullets in the general direction of the target. Though, I swear I saw one of her bullets bounce off the snow and into the target.
Maya is in her late twenties. From what she has told me, she was raised in a monastery. The priests were using her presence to keep, well, the entire planet in line. When she found out about this, she disagreed with them. There was some violence, and she left. Despite this, she's like the cool older sister of the group. Anyway, she's on Pandora because she thinks there is some sort of connection between the Vaults and her Siren powers. Her main power allow her to trap people in an alternate dimension or something. No one is really sure. She has short blue hair (that is apparently her natural color) and has ornate blue tattoos up the left side of her body and down her left arm. These tattoos are apparently the mark of a Siren, and they glow when she uses her power. Oh, and as I mentioned, there are only ever 6 Sirens in the galaxy at one time. She has been giving me some lessons meditation she learnt in the monastery, and is trying to help me figure out my power. They seem to be helping. I think.
Krieg is crazy. Completely and utterly, in a "RIP THE FLESH AND SALT THE WOUND! I'M GOING TO SWALLOW YOU THROAT!" kind of way. Here on Pandora, they call people like him "Psychos". There are a lot of them. Though, from the other Psychos I have seen, he's actually kind of restrained. I mean, he hasn't attacked us yet. He's easy to spot in a crowd – look for the 6 foot tall guy wearing nothing but a gas mask and a pair of pants, screaming at the top of his voice while hitting himself in the head with an axe. Oh, yeah. His axe. That thing is scary. Looking at it closely, it is a buzz-saw bolted onto a metal pole. And yes, the buzz-saw still works. Personally, I try to stay away from him, though Maya does seem to have some sort of control over him.
Finally we have Zer0. He is tall. Like six and a half foot tall, and is thinner than me. I think he is an alien, as his hands only have three fingers and, from what I can see, don't appear human. He wears a form fitting black leather suit and a black helmet. The helmet occasionally projects a red holographic display. Usually numbers (generally after he has killed something), but occasionally those sideways smiley faces you see in text messages. He rarely speaks, but when he does it is either a single word or in a haiku. Yes, he speaks in haiku. No, I don't know why - when I asked him about it, all he said was "Because", and then poked me in the forehead. He generally uses either a sniper rifle or a freaking energy sword.
/
So, where was I up to? Right, were on our way to Liar's Burg so we could get to Sanctuary. We had stopped for the night at a Hyperion barge that was blocking the path. As we had brought no food, we ate from the emergency rations in the barge and bullymonglet steaks cooked over a field stove Axton digistructed. The rations looked like a bar of saw dust, and tasted like saw dust. I actually think they were made of saw dust. The steaks were gamey and tough, but tasted better than those horrible ration bars. God I miss cheese burgers.
Anyway, when I woke up the next morning, things looked strange. There was a red cross next to a red bar and the number "100" in the bottom left corner of my vision, in the bottom right a picture of a bullet with the numbers "20/280", and in the top right corner there was a small map. Frowning, I shut my eyes again, however when I opened them again there was no change. Looking around, I noticed that above each of my companions there was a red bar and their name written in white.
Oh. I thought to myself. This must have something to do with that ECHO device that Claptrap gave me. Didn't he say something about a heads-up display?
Gaige and Krieg were still sleeping, but the others were up. Axton and Maya were quietly gathering supplies, Zer0 was cleaning his sniper rifle, and Claptrap was bunkered down next to them. Getting up with a slight groan, I made my way over to them.
"Morning." Maya said quietly as I approached, handing me one of those horrible ration bars.
"Morning." I replied. "Also, ouch. Turns out that walking for hours through snow and then sleeping on a metal floor hurts."
"Hence the train," she replied. "Well, until Handsome Jack decided to blow it up."
"I think Claptrap was ranting about him when I woke up from the crash yesterday. Who is he?"
"He is the head of the Hyperion Corporation, and since Hyperion moved in and annexed this planet, he is the man in charge of this world. He's also an asshole."
"Oh. So, why would he attack the train?"
"To kill us, apparently. Like I said, asshole."
Silence descended while I struggled to eat the ration bar and played around with the settings of my ECHO, setting my companions as "Friends" during the process. The others continued what they were doing. This lasted for about five minutes before Krieg snorted once, then sat up and yelled "NOW TO SCRAPE MY FACE FROM YOUR FINGERNAILS", waking up Gaige. Who screamed at him, which caused Krieg to scream back. They kept screaming at each other for about 20 seconds before Axton clapped his hands.
"Alright children. Breakfast and then we move out." He said, tossing them each a ration bar.
Soon we were back out in the cold, heading down the valley towards Liar's Burg. After several more hours of walking, Claptrap spoke up.
"This way!" he exclaimed. "Keep your wits about you, minions. This glacier's run by a bandit named Captain Flynt. The jerk kept me as his torture plaything for a few months. We played games like 'dodge the blowtorch', and 'don't get dunked into the pool of acid'. I was really good at the first one!"
"You sound surprisingly happy about that." I commented.
"Yep! It's my default tone of voice! I'm really quite upset about the whole situation!" the robot replied cheerily.
"Hey, Claptrap, why didn't you want me to fix your eye?" Gaige asked after several minutes of silence.
"Because minion, like I said, optic surgery is best left to a professional. You might be a professional murderhobo, but that doesn't mean you're able to do proper eye surgery!" Claptrap replied.
"Umm, it counts as repairs on a robot, and I'm more than qualified to repair something as simple as a CLTP-4P class steward bot. What with the whole genius thing, not to mention being the greatest engineer alive!" Gaige shot back.
The conversation would have continued, but they were interrupted by the face of a man, who had apparently stapled a mask with a massive jutting chin onto his head, appearing in the top left corner of our HUDs.
"Attention people of Pandora! Handsome Jack here, offering a million bucks to whomever brings me the head of the Vault Hunters who just arrived in Liar's Berg. Oh, and I'm still offering a reward for Roland, the mass-murdering leader of the Crimson Raiders. Good hunting, bandits!" spoke a voice, oozing with confidence, in my ear.
The face vanished and was replaced by another, this time with a heavy set man wearing spiked shoulder armor and a massive horned helmet.
"A million bucks?! Alright boys- this is Captain Flynt! I want you to find those Vault Hunters and bring 'em to me! NOW!" said a guttural voice in my ear.
I looked down at the ECHO device strapped to my waist.
"This thing can make phone calls?" I asked. "Huh. What can't it do?"
"ECHOcalls. And it can't stop people from calling you." Maya replied dryly as we walked around a curve in the valley, and up to a cliff overlooking a small town. The town consisted of a cluster of about ten small domes, four larger buildings (one in the middle of the domes, one in the center of the town, one on the east side, and one on the north that was surrounded by a large wall), a cemetery, and a dried up creek bed running through the center of the town. The village itself was situated in a valley, and there were small walls on protecting the north and south sides of the town. There were some people wandering around the town, carrying stuff out of the buildings and piling it up in the centre of the town.
"Hey, Hammerlock!" Claptrap exclaimed, wheeling over the edge of the cliff and bouncing down towards the village.
Another face appeared, showing that we were receiving an ECHOcall. This time it was of a man wearing a Victorian adventurer's outfit, complete with a slouch hat, monocle and epic moustache.
"Spectacular. First Captain Flynt's bandits attack, then Claptrap shows up. I must have been horrifyingly cruel to puppies in a previous life to deserve this kind of treatment," a cultured voice, presumably Hammerlock's, said in a British accent. "I say, Vault Hunters, could you kill Flynt's men for me?"
"Got a proposition for ya, Vault Hunters. You give up, we'll just shoot you in the head. It'll be quick, clean and a hell of a lot less painful than what Handsome Jack'll do to ya." Came Flynt's voice over the ECHO as soon as Hammerlock finished. We ignored him and continued up to the edge of the cliff. Looking over, Axton spoke up.
"Right, we've got incoming. Those bandits in the town are heading our way. Maya, see if you can disrupt their charge with that phaselock of yours. Gaige, summon DT. Zer0, snipe. Up here we're protected by the cliffs. Annnd Krieg just jumped down and is charging them. Move, people!" He said, pulling out a box and throwing it to the bottom of the cliff where it unfolded into a turret that started firing at the bandits, before firing himself.
From below, I could hear cries, generally along the lines of "I'm gonna kill ya!", and felt the appearance of the lice infesting some of the bandits as they moved up to the wall around the village, and started to shoot at us. Most of them were armed with pistols, and were all very bad shots. Gaige digistructed her robot, which flew down to the bandits and started slashing at them with its claws. Maya gestured, a glow ran up her tattoo, and one of the bandits was wrapped in a glowing purple sphere and started floating, only for Zer0 to blow open his head with a shot from his sniper rifle a second later. Meanwhile, Kreig and DT were engaged in a fierce brawl with 3 of the bandits that had jumped the wall. I moved to the edge of the cliff, and directed the lice on one bandit to start crawling on to soft tissue and start biting, distracting him and making his aim worse. When the bandit was killed, I moved the lice to the next bandit. The bandits fled after about half of them had been cut down by my companions, fleeing back into the village. When they did so, I managed to tag each of the bandits with several fleas, so I could keep track of them when we entered the village.
"This isn't over, grinders!" Flynt ECHOed as soon as the bandits fled.
"Well, that was fun," said Gaige to me. "Come on, we don't want Axton and. Zer0 to grab all the loot," she continued, before jumping down and starting to loot the corpses. Shaking my head, I jumped down as well to join the others. Axton and Zer0 were professionally looting the corpses, placing items in their SDUs, while Maya was using another of those medicine syringes to heal a large cut on Krieg's arm.
When everyone finished what they were doing, we gathered just outside the wall.
"Flushing out the rest of the bandits, while trying not to get ambushed. This'll be fun." Axton said, looking over the wall towards the village.
"Umm, they ran into that building," I said, pointing to the large building in the center of the domes. "Some of the bandits had fleas, which I used to tag the rest of the bandits with when they fled."
"Huh. Useful. Heh, I've got just the thing for those bandits. Everyone, stay here. This'll be awesome," replied Axton. He moved quietly to the building I had pointed out. He opened the door slightly, tossed the box containing his turret inside, and quickly shut the door. There was several brief burst of fire from the turret and some quickly silenced screams.
"Hey Hammerlock!" Claptrap yelled after several seconds of silence. "Since my minions just saved your town, you wanna do your bestie Claptrap a favor and repair my eye?!"
"Yes, I suppose I am in your debt now, aren't I?" Hammerlock replied over the ECHO. "Come to my shack, and I shall restore Claptrap's sight. First, I shall shut off the electric fence for you. Please stay back, Vault Hunters. Let Claptrap go first."
"I knew Hammerlock would come around eventually." Claptrap exclaimed, wheeling towards the walled off building in the north of the town, occasionally running into things. "Me and him are like two peas in a pod! Two bullets in a mag! Two cannibal midgets in a fat guy's ribcage!"
Wait, huh? I thought as he said this. Did he really say that? And no one is commenting? What the hell is wrong with this world!
By this time, Claptrap had wheeled up to the gate. As soon as he touched it, there was a spark of electricity, and the robot fell over, finally shutting up.
"Apologies, but when Claptrap speaks, I feel my brain cells committing suicide, one by one. I shall be out directly," Hammerlock said over the ECHO. A few seconds later, the building's door opened and Hammerlock came marching out. He looked almost identical to his ECHO picture, but with his right arm and leg replaced with robotic prosthetics. "A pleasure to meet you, Vault Hunters. I am Sir Hammerlock, at your service," he said, saluting us. "I came out here to research the Bullymongs for my Almanac, but Captain Flynt's men trapped me on this glacier. Many thanks for disposing of them, by the way – to survive a direct run-in with Handsome Jack AND defeat Captain Flynt's bandits? Unheard of! I'm headed to Sanctuary, myself. From what I hear, the Crimson Raiders could use heroes like you. Now, if you could hand me the robot's eye, please."
"Bah, I don't see why he wouldn't let me fix it," muttered Gaige, pulling out Claptrap's eye and handing it to Hammerlock. Who then put Claptrap's eye in its socket, screwed it clockwise several times, and then hammered his fist onto the eye.
"There we go. That should do it," he said while Gaige face-palmed at his repair method.
"HA-HA! I am ALIIIVE!" Claptrap yelled, sitting up. "Minions! Now I've got my eyesight back, and you're all far uglier than I remembered! Time to join up with the Crimson Raiders in Sanctuary! This glacier's full of nothing but murderers or jerkbags, like that Hammerlock dude!"
"I'm right here, 'dude'," the aforementioned Hammerlock snarked, before continuing. "Now that Liar's Berg is clear of bandits, I might as well turn on the main power. This town's full of things that may be of use to go-getting slayers of men like yourselves. Don't hesitate to take what you need. The residents are dead or have fled, and undoubtedly would rather you have their possessions, instead of Flynt's men." This said, he started walking towards a generator next to the building at the center of town.
"I see our fearless leader Jack is looking for you." He said as he walked. "Charming fellow, isn't he? Spouts drivel about bringing peace to the frontier, then shoots unarmed men, women and children like it was going out of style. Bah. I'm spouting exposition again, aren't I? Apologies."
He then started up the generator, causing three vending machines (one with a picture of guns, one with a picture of bullets, and one with a picture of a doctor) and the lights inside some of the buildings to turn on.
"Well, help yourselves. I'm sure the previous residents would rather you loot the town than Captain Flynt's bandits. Oh, and here. Take these as thanks for saving me," Hammerlock said, giving us each a device that my ECHO labeled as a "Shield".
"They project an energy shield around you," Gaige explained when I gave it a blank look. "Attach it to your belt. Now, in the bottom left corner of your HUD is an approximation of the charge. Shields take a bit to recover once they've broken, so yeah. If it hits zero, watch out."
Nodding, I clipped the shield to the top of my skirt. There was a blue shimmer around me for a second, and then my ECHO started displaying a blue bar.
Maya and I spent the rest of the day going through the town and gathering up useful items, like warmer clothing and food and storing it in various SDUs. And checking out what was for sale in the gun vending machines. Yep, on Pandora they have vending machines that sell guns, ammo, or medicine. I know I've said it before, and I'll probably say it again, but this planet is insane. Anyway, while we were doing this, the rest of the group cleared out any bullymongs still in the town, skinning them for some fur for Hammerlock to put on his hat. Of course, not wanting to be left out, Claptrap started demanding the fur instead, until I pointed out that, hey, why not get more fur? I mean, there was more than enough fur for them both once all the bullymongs were killed. Claptrap was so overjoyed at this he gave me a shotgun that he had apparently "not looted from dead adventurers". So, yeah, I'm now the owner of a Torgue shotgun. That shoots miniature rockets. According to Gaige, shooting explosives is now the default mode for all Torgue weapons, and that the owner of the company and inventor of their guns, Mister Torgue, did so because he thought the world needed more explosions. And that fact should help explain a bit more of how insane the people on this planet are.
I want to go home.