Consequences 2
Kathryn headed toward Engineering and received many cheerful greetings from the crewmembers she passed. Apparently, they were all aware of her attack and were glad to see her up and about. From their comments, she assumed they hadn't been told about her memory loss. She merely smiled and tried to avoid conversations that would give her away. She didn't have a particular plan in place, just a vague notion to take any advantage she found and one soon presented itself. An airlock was open and station personnel were bringing in a cargo load of what looked like food. The Voyager personnel receiving the cargo were gleeful. A man she didn't recognize actually rubbed his hands together and chortled.
"Look at that, Gerron! Starfleet's gone all out, Champagne and I think this is shrimp! No leola root surprise tonight." His companion smiled wistfully.
"Maybe we should have some leola root anyway, just to remember Neelix. Oh, Captain!"
"As you were."
She nodded and coolly stepped through the airlock and past the station personnel who all looked at her uncertainly. She could tell they were wondering if they should stop her, so she continued on as if she owned McKinley Station, hands behind her back and surveying them unmercifully. They all straightened, making an effort to look busy and industrious, so she graciously smiled and continued, unhurried and deliberate, until she was out of their sight. She entered the first bathroom she saw, relieved to find that it had a courtesy replicator. She needed to change her clothing immediately. Her old-style uniform would allow anyone to quickly spot her, but she wouldn't be able to replicate a new uniform without entering her identification. Instead, she requested simple pants, a long-sleeved shirt, and a hair color mister, carefully wiping the request from the replicator's memory as soon as the objects materialized. She changed and then misted her hair until it was a nice dark brown and recycled the uniform, comm badge, cortical monitor, and mister, once more erasing the replicator's memory. The security on this station and Voyager was truly appalling. Look how she had just strolled off the ship. She shook her head in disgust as she walked out of the bathroom. No, this was just another sign that none of this was real. She had come up with quite a list of explanations for her situation while she was in the sonic shower, but she needed to get to Mark to help her figure it all out.
It had been simple enough to get off the ship, but the station was another matter entirely. She replicated a large cup of coffee from a long bank of replicators and casually strolled through the various areas looking for another opportunity. Security was heightened due to the presence of Voyager and none of the transporters were left unmanned at any moment. She watched and waited and finally slipped into the back of a large group of officers who were beaming back to Headquarters. No one gave her a second glance and in a moment she was back at Headquarters and hurrying out the door. It was already dark and she shivered, wishing she had thought to replicate a jacket. There were few people walking in this weather and she noted with surprise the changes in some of the city's buildings. She walked briskly, visualizing Mark's face, the warmth of his home embrace, and Molly's wagging tail. His house was brightly lit when she got there and she wasted no time in entering her security code, but it was quickly denied. She reentered it, puzzled, and when it still didn't work, she rang the doorbell. After a moment, the door opened and a strange woman stood there looking at her.
"Yes, can I help you?"
The décor was completely different. The carpets were gone, replaced by gleaming hardwood and the furniture was different too. She could see a man peering at her from the kitchen.
"You look familiar. Aren't you-" Kathryn stepped back, hoping her face would be hidden in the shadows.
"I'm sorry, I had the wrong address."
She turned and hurried away, her heart pounding furiously. She had only been here two weeks ago, just before she shipped out. Maybe it was all true, maybe she truly had been gone for seven years, maybe Mark had actually married-. She shook her head angrily. No, his love for her was a solid unbreakable fact. He had loved her since the moment she saved his life in the quarries of Mars when they were teenagers. Chakotay was responsible for all of this somehow, all of this confusion and terror she was feeling. Well, she wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of giving into the panic threatening to overwhelm her. She would go to her own house and regroup there for a few minutes. She was going to have to walk, though. The security system on any public transportation she could take would surely record her face and it would be an easy matter to track her down. She would have to carefully examine her home before she entered to make sure that no one was waiting for her before she dared to enter it.
It wasn't a very long walk normally, only twenty minutes. She and Molly often jogged to Mark's, but it was so cold tonight and she didn't have a jacket and her head was throbbing so much. She paused once in order to fight off a wave of nausea and then continued, but the panic was now refusing to be pushed away. This was her block, but the small neat houses were all gone, replaced by several apartment buildings. The stately trees that had lined the street were also gone, saplings growing in their place. None of this made any sense. She continued down the block and entered a coffee shop on the corner that hadn't been there two weeks ago.
The patrons and workers alike were all enthralled with the news broadcast on the vid screen at the front of the shop and Kathryn took the opportunity to slip into a booth unseen. She rubbed her hands together trying to warm them and then glanced up quickly at the news broadcast when she heard her name. It was all about Voyager's return. The reporter was breathlessly recounting the story that Chakotay had told her earlier today while images of the crew and ship flashed on the screen. She looked away after a moment and noticed the public computer terminal near the bathrooms. She made her way over, pondering how best to search for Mark without giving herself away. After a moment's thought, she quickly disconnected the computer's worldwide interface. Now she was able to access the city directory already downloaded onto the computer without anyone being able to tap into the computer's searches. And there was Mark's address, halfway across the city. She wanted to cry. She was never going to be able to walk there. If only her head didn't ache so much, if only she could think more clearly. Mark would help her make sense of everything if only she could get to him. She was going to have to risk taking a ground shuttle. The computer obligingly showed her the schedule and she reluctantly left the warmth of the coffee shop.
She tried to keep her face averted and let her hair fall over her face as she climbed onto the shuttle. There were only a few other passengers on board and most of them were distracted by the news broadcasts on their padds. The reporter was speculating on rumors of some sort of accident that had injured the "intrepid Captain Janeway." Kathryn sat tensely and watched San Francisco pass by through the windows. She couldn't understand the changes she saw in the darkness. Quite a few buildings were missing and new buildings had taken their place. There shouldn't have been so much change in only seven years. Perhaps she had become lost in an alternate universe. Such things had happened to other Starfleet officers before. If this was the case for her, then she still felt that Mark would be the best person to help her. Mark in any universe would always be someone she could trust. Still, though, how could she explain the physical changes of her body? And in Thomas Paris, for that matter. Perhaps Chakotay's story was true. No, it simply wasn't possible that seven years had been so neatly wiped from her mind. This was all a delusion, a way of stealing Federation secrets from her mind. Chakotay had her drugged up somewhere for his nefarious Maquis purposes and she just had to resist until Tuvok discovered what he was doing and rescued her. And then she would arrest Chakotay and throw him into the brig and gladly testify against him and she would press for the maximum amount of imprisonment. To interfere with someone's mind and memories like this was abhorrent. She had studied Chakotay's psychological profile and his dossier until she felt she knew him better than his own mother ever had. Never once had she thought him capable of this type of treatment. Wearily, she rubbed the bridge of her nose and tried to quell the nausea that was once more making itself known.
The shuttle stopped and she got off. Mark's house was only a block away. She approached warily. It was a nice house, two stories, flower beds in front. The windows were lit up and she briefly heard Molly's familiar bark from within. Nothing appeared to be amiss and she made the decision to approach the door. If she attempted to peek through the windows, she was likely to set off a security alarm. She rang the doorbell and was instantly rewarded with more of Molly's barks. Mark answered the door and his physical appearance momentarily stunned her. He had aged. His hair was totally gray now and there were lines on his face that hadn't been there two weeks ago. He stared at her for a moment, apparently just as stunned.
"Kathryn?" He looked behind him for a second and then reached out, pulling her into his arms. He might look different, but his scent was still the same, his embrace just as warm and strong. He kissed the top of her head while whispering her name repeatedly and Kathryn clutched his shoulders, losing herself in the moment. Finally, he pulled her away to look down at her.
"You're freezing. Get in here and let's warm you up."
He led her into the house, shutting the door behind her. Molly was immediately upon her, barking wildly, tail wagging. Kathryn knelt down and petted her, welcoming the distraction. He had aged so much in only two weeks and she had never heard of someone becoming lost in an alternate universe where time moved faster. She was beginning to believe that she really had lost seven years of her life.
"Kath? Are you all right? You look sick." Mark had knelt down next to her. Kathryn looked into his familiar eyes and slowly reached out to grasp his left hand. She ran her finger over the plain wedding ring on his ring finger.
"You married someone else."
"I did." He hesitated for a moment before squeezing her hand gently. "Kath, everyone is very worried about you. They've been searching for you everywhere. There's someone here waiting for you. He thought you would come here." Mark looked behind him once more and Chakotay emerged from a door way. Kathryn scrambled to her feet and swayed dizzily. Mark tried to steady her, but she pulled away from his grasp, pulling herself as tall as she could in order to address Chakotay.
"I don't know what's real or what to believe. How do I know this isn't a delusion or a form of mind control or some other sort of Maquis trick?"
"Come back with me to Voyager and run all of the scans you can think of to help you figure it out. Mark can come too, if you would like." Kathryn examined Chakotay carefully. His arms were at his sides and he was maintaining a careful distance from her. He was regarding her with great concern and his eyes were such a soft, deep brown. There was no reason at all for her to trust him, but somehow, she did. Slowly she nodded, squaring her shoulders.
"All right. I'll go with you."
"Do you want Mark to come, too?" She involuntarily shuddered. Mark had married someone else. It was incomprehensible to her. She had never once doubted his love or devotion to her. He was her anchor. He had been so gentle, so understanding of her grief for Justin, such a sweet and tender lover. But he had married someone else. She shook her head.
"No." Mark's mouth twisted and an indescribably sad expression settled over his features.
"Kath, let me go with you, let me help you. I still love-"
"No!" She moved to Chakotay's side. "Let's go, Commander."
A few seconds later, they had beamed back to Voyager, Molly's howls still ringing in her ears. Admirals Paris and Nechayev were waiting for her and had quite a few things to say about her escapade. They followed her and Chakotay to sickbay, where she was soundly scolded by the EMH while he examined her and replaced her cortical monitor. Chakotay finally put a stop to the scolding and gave Kathryn the lead to do whatever investigations she felt necessary. It didn't take long for Kathryn to finally accept the truth that she had been trying to deny throughout this horrible day. She had just brought her ship home after seven years alone in the Delta Quadrant.She had taken in a Maquis crew and molded them all into model Starfleet officers. She had rehabilitated a Borg drone. She had made countless scientific discoveries and more First Contacts than any other Starfleet officer in history. It had been the adventure of a lifetime and her memories of it had all been stolen from her. Kathryn turned from the tricorder readings she had been examining and spoke despairingly to Chakotay.
"You're telling the truth. I've lost the last seven years. What do I do now?" His expression was just as sad as Mark's had been.
"The Doctor will find a way to fix everything. He's performed more than his fair share of miracles over the years. You can't give up hope." Kathryn could only shake her head in response.