~ Heine ~

'I've asked you here because I need to tell you all something,' I say, 'something that is going to cause some changes in the palace.'

The princes all fall still, and silent.

And suddenly, I remember.

You're the only one I would want to take my place, Heine. You know, I didn't just call you here to teach them. I wanted you to come and be family to them. To be there for them when I can't. I trust you. And I want you to treat them as though they're your own, because I want to share this with you.

My heart skips a beat, and my mind blanks.

All I can hear is Viktor's words in my head. Words I've had the chance to think about a little — but this is the first time I've had to talk — properly talk — to the princes since I gained that knowledge. And I don't know if things are meant to be different, I don't know I'm meant to do…

All I know now is that I don't even know what Viktor truly meant, and now I'm… scared.

Too scared to step into a role that I don't know how to act in, a role for which there's no script, stage cues, or instructions.

'Heine?'

And I realise the princes are all staring at me.

I wonder if this is what stage fright feels like.

So all I can bring myself to do is to be who I've always been, putting Viktor's words, whatever they mean, away for later. But they're still there — a Pandora's box that has been opened, the contents placing a strange sort of pressure on my heart.

'I'm fine. My apologies, I was merely gathering my thoughts.'

I hesitate, still wondering how to proceed regardless of my uncertainty. Leonhard's eyes widen. He sits back in his chair, and crosses his arms tightly, as though to ward off a cold breeze. 'Y-You're not… leaving again… are you?'

I blink. 'What? No. No, of course not!' I sit up in my haste to correct myself, only to feel a sharp pain in my side and I gasp, unable to think anything but pain sharp help make it stop AGH —

In a flash, Leonhard is at my side and holding me steady. 'Heine!'

I close my eyes and exhale. I get my breath back, but with effort. 'I'm sorry. I… moved too quickly.' I take his hand, and get the words out that I was trying to say. 'I'm not going anywhere, Prince. Rest assured.'

He searches my eyes, still keyed up after sprinting to my side like that. 'Y-You promise?'

'Come on, Leonie, you know he wouldn't leave us all now!'

'L-Licht is right… for once.'

'You're staying, aren't you, Teacher?'

And with a jolt, I realise that all the princes, despite their words, look just as panicked as Leonhard. Just as desperate to see me stay.

'I promise.' I look down and rest a hand on the quilt, on my leg. 'And even if I wished to, for some inexplicable reason, I do not think I could go anywhere even if I wanted to.'

'Oh. Fair point.'

'Anyway.' I look at each of the princes, and try to gather my thoughts for long enough to tell them what I need to say.

'Boys, I need to tell you something.'

Bruno turns white. 'You're not… telling us you're…'

I throw my one good hand up in impatience. 'I'm not going to die! My word, you're all almost as bad as your father!' I soften my words with a smile. 'And besides, it would be a poor testimony to the palace physician's efforts if I were to bow out now, of all times. Please, may I finish?'

Licht mimes buttoning his mouth shut and pushes Bruno back in his chair. 'Go for it, Teach. Sorry.'

I push my glasses up, exhale, and look at the princes. Third time's the charm.

'I need to tell you all something. Now that we've finished dealing with the Venetian Affair, I will be retiring from active service.'

It takes a little while for the news to register — that I will no longer be serving as their bodyguard.

I rest a hand against my chest, and on seeing the bandages, I'm reminded yet again that I can't deny my injuries. Yet those injuries were only one of many reasons that contributed to my retirement. Among the others are my inability to both teach and guard the princes in the long run, as well as Viktor coming to the conclusion that he didn't want me to be in the level of danger that I was in while working as the princes' guard. And also, I realised that I needed to accept that people cared about me, that they cared about what happened to me. Despite part of me still resisting it, I couldn't continue to throw myself in the firing line as I once used to.

So I've officially given up my job as the princes' guard, but our 'troubles' are not quite over yet.

'…Okay?' Leonhard shakes his head, then nods. 'I mean… I don't really get it, but… Okay, I guess?'

'Well, yeah,' Licht says with a frown. 'Don't get us wrong, Teach, we literally owe you our lives and we're very grateful. But we don't want to see you get hurt — and you'd keep getting hurt if you kept on with this, wouldn't you? So we'd even be happy for you to call it quits.'

'And we noticed you were… not to cast aspersions on your multi-tasking skills by any means, Master,' Bruno says, 'but you seemed to be having difficulty with managing both teaching and your other work at once.' He gives me a smile. 'We're usually the cause of all your work, and we'd hate for you to push yourself too hard for our sakes, for whatever reason. We'd feel awful.'

'Bruno's right,' Kai says. 'It's not worth anything to see you get hurt, Teacher…'

Kai's words echo what Viktor told me merely days ago, and it takes me by surprise. I crack a smile. 'Thank you, boys.'

But that felt too easy. And with a grimace, I realise why — it's not their reaction to my stepping down as their bodyguard that I need to be worried about, it's their reaction to the result of that decision. I brace myself.

'This means that you will all be taking on new bodyguards. Your father is currently screening candidates and you will each begin with your new personal guard tomorrow.'

A moment of silence.

'What?!'

Leonhard stammers for a few good seconds before coming up with a coherent reply. 'What? I… No! No way!'

'L-Leonhard!' Bruno protests. He doesn't know who to look at — me or his younger brother — so he settles for a series of flailing gestures that address the room at large. 'We just argued out every reason why Master shouldn't continue to — '

'I know we did — but new guards?! That's like getting a new tutor, and that's going to be bad no matter how you look at it!'

I see that Prince Leonhard's usual keen instincts are in play again…

'What the…' Licht throws up a hand in protest. 'You mean we've got to have bodyguards hanging around us all day every day?! They'll scare all my girlfriends off!'

'Treat it as a test of their affection for you,' Bruno retorts. But he fingers his cheek, already stressing out over a dozen scenarios. 'This means I'll have to… ugh, I'm poor enough at social interaction as it is and now…'

Kai flinches, suddenly hitting on a realisation of his own. 'I'll have to talk to him… all the time… oh, no…'

'Boys!'

They all snap out of it and turn to me, somewhat taken aback. I sigh. 'Look.' I straighten my glasses and say, 'Let me at least explain your father's reasoning behind this, and then you can carry on with being stubborn if you wish.'

They fall silent, and let me speak.

'I imagine your father spoke to you about Rossaine Savaz? Your mother's former bodyguard? The man who was blackmailed into orchestrating the elaborate sabotage attempt that put your father and all of you in danger.'

'Yes, he did.' Bruno sits back in his chair and gestures. 'He was blackmailed by the Kingdom of Venetia, as were other people like Beatrix's family and Father's high steward, yes? But hasn't Venetia now taken responsibility for that situation, leaving us to wash our hands of it?'

'Yes, that is correct. But unfortunately, our problems are not that easily solved.'

Leonhard's brow creases. 'Why not?'

'Venetia may be taking responsibility and sorting out the two factions of spies that caused this mess, but just because the threat is being supposedly being taken care of, doesn't mean that we can resume business as normal without taking extra precautions for your safety.'

'But… don't we have guards? Like Maximilian and Ludwig, members of the Royal Guard,' Licht says.

'We do. But as you all well know, guards are not going to be effective enough in some circumstances.' In place of my teacher's pointer, I use my index finger to accentuate my words. 'It only took one person to alter the guard patrols. And while we can ensure that does not happen again, the point is that the palace's security still has its weak points. And while the security is being revised, we don't want to have any of those points exposed by way of an attack on any of you.'

'Heine…' Leonhard toys with his gloves. 'Why did you even become our guard in the first place?'

I blink. That's certainly a valid question, come to think of it. I nod, and smile a little. 'Your father hired me to temporarily be your guard out of necessity. He must have caught wind of the fact that something wasn't right, somehow. The process for hiring and screening new guards or bodyguards is a lengthy one, and we had no opportunity to look for alternate solutions right then. I was his only choice at the time, but now your father can take the proper precautions to keep you safe.'

The princes consider this for a moment.

Kai hesitates, then begins to speak, faltering every now and then, 'I… think I see what you mean, but… this incident was a… freak accident, so to speak? We so very rarely have attempts on the crown in this kingdom. Now that the issue is dealt with, isn't it… excessive to presume that it's going to continue like this?' He gestures, but gives up. 'I'm sorry… I'm not explaining well…'

'No, you have a valid point. It was a once-in-a-blue-moon occurence. But this isn't really about whether there are going to be more attempts on the crown or not.' I push my glasses up and I can feel my voice starting to give. The princes' questions are all valid, but I wish I didn't have to explain all this complicated information, and I wish so badly that I had more patience. But both my patience and my strength are running out faster than I expected, and I just want this conversation to be over already.

I exhale and try to keep my temper. 'You are all princes of the kingdom. There has been a recent attack against the crown. Therefore, you are all liablities and still at risk, and your rank and position entitles you to protection. Refusing to take it would be negligent.' I can feel some dizziness teasing the edges of my vision, but I firmly push it away and continue. 'We have three issues. The first is that you need added protection while we revisit the palace's security. The second is that extra protection while the political drama with Venetia settles down wouldn't go amiss. And the third is that the kingdom's centennial celebrations are coming up, which will be a massive international event and a big security risk. Hiring bodyguards now is as much to protect you in the immediate future as well as securing your safety at that time. There's really no other option available to us — either that or jeopardise your safety as princes. Do we need to rehash all of this again or can we conclude — '

'Liabilities? Risks? So this is all just because we're princes?' Licht's fingers dig into the edge of his jacket. 'Is that what all this fuss is about?'

'Prince Licht!' I snap.

He flinches, and stares at me as though I slapped him.

I lower the hand that I unconsciously raised. '…F-Forgive me. I'm… not myself at the moment.' I swallow down the regret and lower my voice. 'I'm sorry. Let me try to explain. As princes, you have a role in the kingdom, no matter what you yourselves perceive it to be. You have a responsibility and a duty to the crown. It may not feel like a privilege, and it may even feel like an undeserved hassle sometimes. But you'll come to understand the gravity of it in time, as you grow older and take your places in society as representatives of the royal family.'

Licht looks away, wrestling with something that I can't quite see. Then he looks back. 'No, I'm sorry.' He rubs a hand over his face and sighs. 'We're being real brats — we're the ones causing you a hassle.'

Leonhard can't meet my eyes. '…I guess he's right. I… It was nice when you were our guard, but… there's no way we can do that anymore. I just…'

Despite my losing struggle with my temper, I'm finding it hard to be frustrated with them.

They're not merely being temperamental for the sake of it. Perhaps they were at first, but given what a run of bad luck they've had with a similar problem — royal tutors — it's unsurprising that they're resistant to change. They're genuinely trying, however, trying to process their world being tipped on its head again. We've already had one of the most horrible weeks of our lives, and we're all still tired and upset and out of sorts, and this whole business is probably the last thing the last thing we need.

The thought comes to me. Why can't they just do it? And — Why did I have to tell them? Why couldn't Viktor have done it?

Guilt hits me in a sickening punch. I know perfectly well that Viktor is busy with his work, and also with screening the princes' new guards. He asked me to be the one to tell the princes, and with my consent, he handed it off to me. And it's my job to be there for the princes, to guide them and help them when they run into trouble. And I normally treasure every moment of it.

But I'm just so tired of talking. I just want everything to… stop.

What on earth is the matter with me?

'Boys, I…' My discomfort is so severe that I can hardly meet their gazes, and I'm so painfully unsure of what to say. 'Could you… at least…'

But the looks on their faces stop me in my tracks. I stop talking, confused. The princes exchange glances, concerned looks and quick flashes of whispered words, before coming to an agreement and a snap decision.

'We'll do it!'

'Do what?'

But Licht is already at my side, taking my hand and giving me a quick farewell hug. 'We'll take on the new bodyguards — you don't need to stress about it. We're sorry for causing you trouble.' He pats me on the head and lets me go with a smile.

'B-But why are you — '

Bruno pauses by the door and says, 'Even though you've been confined to bed, it's mortifyingly easy to forget that you're still unwell, with how well you've been bearing up. We didn't realise we were putting you to such lengths. We're tremendously sorry.' He trots out a ninety-degree bow and rights himself so fast that he nearly falls out in to the hallway. 'Well organise our affairs for tomorrow at once!'

'You make it sound like we're going to attend our own funeral!' Licht gives me a lazy smirk and says, 'He's right, though. One would think you were a cat or something — they always hide everything and you never know when the d_ things are sick. Besides, you should have just asked us to do this for you — we'd have done it in a snap!'

'M-Me? B-But I… don't… understand…'

Licht laughs and waltzes out the door. 'My, are you embarrassed? Have you been on painkillers again — '

Bruno clamps a hand on Licht's shoulder and shoves him down the corridor. 'For all you know he is on painkillers — give him a break from your nonsense!'

'Yeah, yeah — bye, Teach! Tchüss-su!'

'My word — ' Bruno leans back around the door with a smile and says, 'Rest well, Master,' before sprinting after Licht while yelling, 'Get back here at once!'

Kai waves goodbye, and takes his leave. 'We'll see you tomorrow, Teacher.'

I nod, but I'm still terribly confused and it must show on my face, because Leonhard raises a questioning eyebrow.

'I-I don't understand why they said "for you,"' I say in bewilderment. I'm drawing a perfect mental blank. 'What does difference does that make, I have nothing to do with — '

'It means we want to help you,' Leonhard says bluntly. 'You're still having to help us sort all this out, aren't you? So if there's anything that we can do to make things easier for you, then we want to do it! We… care about you.' He blushes slightly, and walks off in a huff. 'Can't you see that?'

And the door slams, leaving me in peace with a pile of flowers and chocolates and questions.

I touch a hand to my cheek. It feels warm to the touch, and I wonder if I've got a fever.

…I struggled so much to try and get the point across to them. Until I got to the point where I was simply done, and subject to every whim of and fancy of exhaustion and keyed-up emotions. But it wasn't my well thought-out arguments that changed their minds, it was…

I don't actually know what it was.

I take a pile of papers and a quill pen, and spread them over my lap. I should be preparing the princes' lessons for tomorrow. But instead I take a book and idly flick through the pages, thinking about different things, things other than the words I'm reading. Too tired to do anything else, yet not tired enough to sleep. So I read, waiting until I'm tired enough to rest. Waiting for the sun to disappear into the dark.

To be continued…