A/N: Thank you so much for all the reviews on the last chapter!

Last month I made a Jane and Lisbon playlist if anyone wants to check it out. It's called "Someone To Save You" and it's on 8tracks.

Anyway, this is sort of an intense chapter, and again, emotional Lisbon. I promise this will get happier!

I know this isn't the way they reunite, but I wrote it before I saw the episode and I wanted to take a more dramatic route of them reuniting. :)

Warning: Spoilers for season 6 ahead!

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters or any part of The Mentalist.

If you have any constructive criticism or feedback I'd love to hear it!

Happy reading!

By the time Jane caught Red John, she was so done. She was ready to kill him; she was going to slap him for worrying the hell out of her. She had given him her car, her gun, her heart; what else did he need to take from her? She kept her reminding herself Jane wasn't the bad guy, and that she wasn't supposed to be so attached to him. She was just doing her job by helping him. She just couldn't bring herself to believe it. All those times they had laughed, all those times they had flirted and bantered. All those times they had saved each other.

They didn't count for anything. He was gone again. He was leaving her stranded and heart-broken, and all she got was a single message. The message was one of the few things she had left of him.

"It's over. It's done. I just want you to know that I'm okay and I'm going to miss you."

Lisbon was glad she was home, because she was sure she could hear her heart shattering into a thousand pieces, crashing to the floor, so it could never be mended again. She never knew it was so fragile.

The tears in her eyes began to build and she hugged her knees to her chest. "No, no, no. God no." She mumbled. What has she succumbed to? Her happiness relying on another person? Her sanity relying on an insane one?

She swiped angrily at her eyes and stood up, determined not to cry over him. She'd turn on the TV; maybe eat some ice cream or something. Lisbon refused to be upset over the fact Jane had swept her off her feet, had taken almost everything she gave him, and dropped her.

No. Because everything he gave her was worth it, right?

She smiled when she thought the frogs he had made her. Or the times he would bring her in a bear claw for breakfast when things got too crazy. Or the times she had pretended he loved her.

She picked herself off the couch and started towards the kitchen. Instead of ice cream, she reached for the bottle of wine. She knew she shouldn't, but Jane wasn't there to stop her, so who the hell cared?

She drank glass after glass, until her mind was foggy and she was drifting off into sleep. The drink remained in Lisbon's hand, and she didn't wake until it shattered on the floor, the wine pooling around the clear shards.

Lisbon stopped locking her front door. There was nothing that she could lose that hadn't already been robbed from her.

She was a bit more reckless these days, a little less afraid of death. Her days at work were only getting worse. Rigsby and Van Pelt had left the CBI, and some unfamiliar and stiff agents had taken their place. They were polite, but they worked to work, not to talk. They were professional and stiff, and stayed secluded. Lisbon merely assigned the team (If she could even call it a team) a case and they would do it. It was dull and she could feel her sanity slipping a little more everyday. She needed a miracle. A miracle called Patrick Jane.

On a clear sunny day, (One so beautiful Jane would have commented on it. But he wasn't there. He wouldn't ever be there.) Cho stopped her as she was walking towards her office. He was the only one who seemed to remember Jane. It had been ages.

'You miss him, don't you?" He asked. It was a standard question, but it was the first time in months anyone had inquired about her feelings. There was no point in denying it. Anyone who wasn't an idiot could see it plainly written on her face.

"Yeah." She said softly. "Any news from him?" Cho's face remained expressionless, but she knew he cared somewhere deep inside.

"No. He'll be back, Boss. He always comes back." He nodded. His words were comforting, but all that popped in her mind were the multitude of times he had left her. She smiled, but it looked more like a grimace.

"Thanks."

A beige envelope and small package was left on her desk. It contained another frog letter and a seashell.

Dear Lisbon,

I hope you've been well. I've been thinking of you. Every day I remember how much you've helped me over the years. I know I thanked you on the beach, but I suppose it didn't really count since I tricked you afterwards. I really am sorry about that. If there were any other way, I would have done something different.

Anyway, here's a shell that made me think of you. Maybe I could take you here someday. If you aren't too angry with me, you can write back to the return address. I'll be back soon.

Love,

Jane

Lisbon's hands clutched tightly at the folded paper. As soon as she got to word "Love", she ripped it into shreds. No regrets, no wishing she had read it a second time. She was done with Jane. She would not let him woo her so many miles away. His words meant nothing to her now, and he could do nothing to change her mind about it. She slipped the envelope with his address into the garbage, but kept the shell.

It was a reminder how she'd never let herself fall that deep in love again.

A year passed and she sunk deeper into survival mode. She had dropped ten pounds, and the dark circles under her eyes were constant. Lisbon's thoughts had stopped grieving, however. She made herself believe things were getting bearable, and these new team members were great at their work. She made herself believe that that was what work was actually about, and it wasn't meant for flirting or laughing or having fun. Work to solce cases, make money, and leave.

The day he came back was one of the worst days of her life. (Or one of the best if she was being honest.)

"Lisbon!" He greeted cheerily. The nerve of him to act like nothing happened. To act like he hadn't used her like a piece of trash and thrown her away.

"Jane." She greeted. The dull ache in her heart was not something she welcomed.

The emotion bubbled up into her throat, threatening to choke her. Her nose prickled, and forbidden tears sprung to her eyes. It was too late to turn away, he had already seen how much it hurt. He had cast her aside without a second thought. She had been so alone.

"Teresa.." He breathed. Jane reached out to comfort her, any kind of touch, but she backed away. A pained expression fell on his face. "I'm so sorry."

Lisbon took a gulp of air and forced herself not to break down. Not in her office. "Jane. You can't-" She stopped and swallowed. How was it that she wanted him to stay so badly? After all this time. He can't what? He was back, he could do whatever he wanted. She wasn't in charge of him anymore. "You can't be here." She crossed her arms to grip her own shoulders for support.

Jane stayed silent, and once again reached out to her, squeezing a shoulder. That was what she was afraid of. One touch and she would be an emotional pool in his arms. Lisbon couldn't force her body to move away, no matter how many times she commanded her brain to do so.

Lisbon's chin quivered and unconsciously she sunk into the hand on her shoulder. she felt burning tears slip down her cheeks. Please, not now.

"It's okay, Lisbon. Let it out. It's going to be okay. We're going to be just fine." He soothed. His sturdy arms wrapped around her shoulders and brought her into his chest. The warmth flooded through her like fire.

Her posture sagged and she let her weight fall into his arms. Lisbon buried her face in the crook of his neck. God, he smelled good. He smelled of love, of comfort, of home.

But he left her. He abandoned her for two years and he couldn't even begin to know how dreadfully lonesome she was.

Her shoulders shook with small sobs she couldn't contain. She never cried in front of anyone, so why was she losing it all now?

His warm hands stroked her back as if smoothing the wrinkles in her shirt would smooth the wrinkles of their relationship. It would take much more than warm hands to iron them out.

Control yourself. You're okay. You're still in control. Lisbon stifled her sobs, taking deep shuddering breaths. The crying quieted quickly, but tears still stained her cheeks. She slowly lifted up her face and staggered to her office chair.

"Lisbon. I didn't realize you'd be so affected. I would have-" She cut him off.

"Would have come back earlier? What difference would that have made?" Lisbon demanded. He stayed silent. "You've put me through hell, Jane. Do you know that? You've brought me to hell and left me there."

She wanted to kill him. She wanted to kiss him. She didn't even know what she wanted anymore.

"Do you have any idea how many times I've helped you? How many things I've done to save your ass? I didn't do it because it was my job, if that's what you're thinking. I did it because I-" She stopped, her lips curling in a sneer. She wouldn't say it. She would never say it.

His eyes softened in understanding. He should most especially understand how painful it was to live in solitude. With no one.

"Lisbon, I came back to sort things out. This is my home; I wasn't just going to walk away from it. I wasn't going to walk away from you. I always planned to come back. I was hoping we could-" The flinty glare he got in return stopped him mid-sentence.

Jane nodded slowly, finally getting the message. He swallowed. "I just wanted you to be the first to know I was back. I..I'll go now, I guess." Soft and slow footsteps backed away from her.

"No. Wait." The words were out of her mouth before she could stop them. Lisbon never wanted him to leave her sight again. She never wanted him to abandon her again. It was dark without him. It was miserable without him. "Jane, I-" Her voice broke and she glanced at the seashell on her desk. Her reminder.

"Forget it. Just go." She shooed him out and shut the door.