"So, it is my regret to inform you that Severus will not be joining us for the rest of the semester." And with that, the Headmaster took a seat at the head of the table, let out a giant sigh, and nestled his head in the crook of his elbow.
The normally quiet staff room was aloud with the sound of whispering teachers. These weren't the regular run-of-the-mill 'I have a secret to tell' whispers, no; they were the especially exciting 'I have a juicy secret to tell' whispers. Stage whispers.
"Is it because of his dealings with—"
"I hear he—"
"Yes, Azkaban of all places!"
"Why I never—"
"—with a porcupine!"
Hell, it's misleading to call them whispers at all.
Everyone's gossiping was brought to the close with a single abrupt question. "I dun get it! Wha's so wrong whi' lovin' yer pet?" Hagrid asked with a confused look on his face, "Why, me 'n Fang have had some grea' times, I wouldn' trade 'em fer the world!"
You could hear the sound of a pin drip.
Every eye in the room was on him.
His nearest neighbor, who just so happened to be the wonderfully plump Professor Sprout, got to her feet and whispered something in his ear. She got to her feet to whisper it not because she was mentally handicapped or something, but because Hagrid was like nine feet tall.
Moving on, he suddenly shouted, "He di' wha'?"
You could almost see the gears turning in the big man's head. He shook his head a few times before mumbling, "Don' seem physically possible…"
Everyone contined to stare at the daft giant, and Sprout rolled her eyes. She got to her tippy-toes and explained a little more.
He shouted something else, "That's the opposite of what feels good!"
AN: Just wanted to Say hi, and post something for funzies.
Read my blog. Link is in my profile, It's good for a laugh.