** THE NARRATIVE CHANGED TO FIRST PERSON **

The next morning, I woke up in the guest room, momentarily confused about my whereabouts. Suddenly, my stomach rolled and I jumped out of bed, running to the bathroom and slamming the door behind me, I fell to my knees in front of the toilet. I felt that regular sense of panic as my stomach lurched. Seconds later, I rocked back onto my heels and wiped my mouth and nose with a wet washcloth. I flushed the toilet and brushed my teeth, replacing the acid taste with fresh mint. I turned on the shower and stepped in. The warm water soothed me and I could feel the tension seeping out of my shoulders, face and neck. Minutes later I turned off the shower, wrapped a towel around me, and stepped in front of the mirror. Wiping the steam of the mirror with my fist, I began to try to calm my cloud of curls. I sighed, realizing for only the millionth time that it's hopeless. I walked out of the bathroom, holding my towel up with one hand and attempting to comb through my hair.

"Morning," Simon was sitting at the kitchen table with newspaper in hand.

"Morning," I winced as I tried to extract my fingers from my curls.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm going to go get dressed. I'll come out in a second."

Closing the door behind me, I unzipped my suitcase and threw on jeans and the first t-shirt I found. I was dreading the day when I couldn't fit into my own clothes anymore. How would I be able to afford new clothes? I need to get a job, I thought and made a mental note to look for one later today. I couldn't expect Simon or… No, I said to myself. I'm not going to preoccupy myself with him today. He's not here for a reason. I shook my head and walked into the kitchen.

"There are eggs on the stove, cereal in the cabinet, and bagels in the fridge." Simon said from his spot at the kitchen table.

"Thanks." I said grabbing a bagel and shoving it in the toaster.

I went and sat down next to Simon at the table. Reaching my hand over his newspaper, I wriggled my fingers to get his attention. "You know," I started as he folded his newspaper and looked at me with eyebrows raised, "We have to figure out a plan. I don't want to go home."

"What do you mean you don't want to go home?"

"I mean, I don't want to tell Mom and Dad yet. Since they're on vacation right now, I figure now's the best time."

"Best time for what?" Simon asked skeptically.

"For planning to tell them that I'm going to stay with Mary's for the summer, and instead staying here. Can I stay here? Simon?"

I knew I hit him with this too quickly, his face was a mixture of shock and confusion. "Um, yeah. Of course you can Ruthie." He said. "But, I think you need to tell Mary if you're going to go along with this plan."

"Oh." To be honest, I hadn't really thought about telling her. "Today?"

He nodded, "You know how Mom and Dad can get. They'll call her and check up on you constantly."

I just sat there. Overwhelmed again. This morning, waking up with a plan for the next three months, I thought I would have more time before I had to really figure stuff out. I groaned and put my head in my hands.

"Are you okay?" Simon put his hand on my shoulder. I can't believe he's being this nice to me. I had disappointed him so much. And now I have to tell the rest of the family.

Tears started rolling down my cheeks, "No. Well, I mean, I guess, but, really. Does this seem okay to you? It was hard telling you but you and I were always close Simon. Dad's going to have a heart attack and die! Mom isn't going to stop crying until this kid is like eighteen years old. And-"

Simon cut me off, "Ruthie! Everything's going to be okay! Dad deals with stuff like this all the time." He smiled sadly, "And Mom will get over it."

I took a shuddering breath, wiping my cheeks.

"But try to take things one step at a time. Call Mary. Just tell her."

He handed me the phone. I looked up at him and he raised his eyebrows. I sighed and took the phone from his hand.

My heart was pounding as the dial tone rang, "Don't pick up, don't pick up, don't pick up," I desperately prayed and my heart sank when I heard her voice, "Hello?"

"Hey Mary, it's me, Ruthie,"

"Hey Ruthie! How's Simon?"

"What?"

"I have caller id you know." I could hear her shush Charlie in the background.

"Oh, um, I didn't know…"

"So what did you want to talk about?"

All of a sudden, all my mental planning had gone down the drain. I drew a blank. I took a breath, "I'm pregnant." I slammed my face into my hand a couple times.

"Wow," Simon chuckled, "You really do just throw that out there don't you?"

I shot him a death stare and threw my pad of paper at him. Of course I missed.

"I'm sorry what? Charlie's making so much noise. Did you say you're pregnant?" I could hear her laugh nervously.

I didn't respond.

"Ruthie?" the tone of her voice made me want to cry. "Ruthie please answer me" She pleaded over the phone and it broke my heart. I started quietly sobbing, my face in my free hand, the other, holding the phone, resting on the counter. Simon reached across and pulled the phone out my hand.

"Hey, it's me." He said quietly. All of a sudden I felt little again. Over the past few months I felt like I was in charge of myself- I had inflicted such a huge, life-changing event on myself and had to deal with it but now, with my big brother and sister talking about me, deciding how to save me, I felt helpless. I could hear Mary half yelling and crying over the phone. Simon was just listening. I could see his eyes beginning to tear up. It was impossible for me to stop crying, for myself, for Simon, and for the rest of my family. "I know," Simon just kept repeating into the phone as he paced the floor. "It's gonna be okay Mary. Really. But we need your help." He paused and so did the hysterical crying on the other end of the phone. "Ruthie wants to stay with me for the rest of the summer. Until she tells the rest of them… Why? Because she wants time to figure stuff out; the two of us should know that better than all the Camdens combined. You know how Mom and Dad can be… We were asking you to go along with our plan: that Ruthie was going to stay in Chicago with you and Carlos to visit the girls and Charlie… She's three months now… Okay, thanks Mary… Sure… Talk to you later." Simon hung up the phone and replaced it in the charging dock.

I got up and walked over to him. He sighed and pulled me close to him, wrapping his arms around me in a hug. My heart felt like it was going to rip apart, I was so ashamed of myself. I can't believe that Simon, Mary and Carlos have to lie for me. Simon kissed my forehead as I pulled away and wiped the tears from my cheeks with his thumbs. "Thanks Simon," I whispered. I felt overwhelmingly grateful to have a brother like Simon to look out for me.

"Anytime," Simon whispered.