I don't own 'Last Kiss' by Taylor Swift or Big Time Rush
Last Kiss
Kendall's childhood girlfriend, Harper, remembers what she used to have with him and realises what little she has left, now that he's gone.
Kendall and I knew each our whole lives, we grew up on the same block, our parents were friends and so were we – the best of friends. That was until we turned thirteen when we became so much more, we may have still been kids but we loved each other so much. We were together for 2 ½ years before he moved to LA, and he left me alone. Well, I wasn't really alone but when the boys left, the other girls (Alyss, Mollie, and Cassidy) and I just drifted apart until we rarely spoke to each other.
I never thought that Kendall and I would split up but we did and I was left to pick up the pieces while he lived it up in LA.
I still remember the look on your face
Lit through the darkness at 1:58
The words that you whispered
For just us to know
You told me you loved me
So why did you go away?
There's one memory with Kendall that I'll treasure forever, it was his last night in town, we were out until 2am but our parents left us be because we were only in my backyard and it was our final moments together. I remember the way the moon illuminated his face, the way his green eyes stared into mine with so much compassion. Even now, I can recite the words he whispered in my ear that night that left me wondering, if he felt like that how could he leave me like I was nothing. He told me that his love for me was as constant as the stars above. When my dad was in Afghanistan, he used to finish his letters home with; 'With love as constant as the stars above, Always, Dad xx'. When he died, when I was fifteen, Kendall promised that he would never leave me alone, that he would always be at my side. Guess he forgot...
I do recall now the smell of the rain
Fresh on the pavement
I ran off the plane
That July 9th
The beat of your heart
It jumps through your shirt
I can still feel your arms
When we were fourteen, I went to visit my Grandma in Maine for a fortnight. As soon as I was allowed, I ran off of the plane, taking in the smell of the rain, fresh on the ground from the night before, the smell of home. Kendall was there, waiting for me, in that moment, I had never felt more loved. I jumped into his waiting arms, laughing and smiling as he swung me around and around. Everything about Kendall made me feel safe, the beat of his heart through his red checked shirt, just, him. That day in the airport, I saw this old couple watching Kendall and I, smiling at us like, like they were us a long time ago, that they were young and in love. When I stood in the rain, sometimes, it was like I could still feel Kendall's arms around me, holding me close, protecting me from all that might try to hurt me. Then I remembered that Kendall was gone, and I was alone.
But now I'll go sit on the floor
Wearing your clothes
All that I know is
I don't know how to be something you miss
I never thought we'd have a last kiss
Never imagined we'd end like this
Your name, forever the name on my lips
In my naive little mind, I never imagined that Kendall and I would ever be apart, that we'd have a last kiss. I think that I thought that the past lasts forever, that Kendall and I would always stay in Minnesota, get married, and raise are kids in the same town that we grew up in. I don't think I believed there was a world outside of our little town. After Kendall left, I spent hours sitting on the floor, wearing his old green hoodie that he left at my house when he left. I wouldn't let mom wash it, his scent was still on it, and it comforted me. I never thought that I would have to be something that Kendall missed because I thought that whatever happened Kendall wouldn't leave me. Guess I got it wrong…
I do remember the swing of your step
The life of the party, you're showing off again
And I roll my eyes and then
You pull me in
I'm not much for dancing
But for you I did
At this one party of James', Kendall was dancing right in the middle – showing off. He always was the life of the parties, me; not so much. I never was one for parties. He'd strut over to me with this annoying smirk on his face and pull me in when I rolled my eyes at him. Had it been anyone else, I would have resisted but, because it was Kendall, I gave in. This happened more than once and I always gave in because I loved him. Kendall did so much for me, he supported me after my dad died in the war, and the very least that I could do was dance with him. I would never tell him but the more he dragged me into the parties; the more I came to enjoy them and just have fun. If you grow up with Kendall and his antics you started to like them and get used to them, but, then you miss them when they're gone. I never thought that I could miss those boys so much, how much they made my day so much bright or how dark my days would be with them gone.
Because I love your handshake, meeting my father
I love how you walk with your hands in your pockets
How you kissed me when I was in the middle of saying something
There's not a day I don't miss those rude interruptions
I remember when Kendall first met my dad as my boyfriend, he was so nervous even though he had grown up with my dad around. He was being all formal and he even shook my dad's hand! It was quite funny and I teased him about it for years but, secretly, I loved it. He used to walk with his hands in his pockets all the time, I think he was trying to look tough or something. Just so you know; it didn't work. He was still my sweet, adorable, gentleman, Kendall. Everything I remembered about Kendall, every different memory, gave me a new thing to miss. One of my favourite things that he did is that if I was going on and on about something, even if it was hockey, he's kiss me to shut me up, it worked every time. If I went on about after he left, just told me to shut up, and to be honest, I missed Kendall's, very rude, interruptions. Sometimes he'd just kiss me when I was saying something – just because, and no-matter how annoyed I seemed when he did it, I loved it.
And I'll go sit on the floor
Wearing your clothes
All that I know is
I don't know how to be something you miss
Never thought we'd have a last kiss
Never imagined we'd end like this
Your name, forever the name on my lips
So I'll watch your life in pictures like I used to watch you sleep
And I feel you forget me like I used to feel you breathe
And I keep up with our old friends just to ask them how you are
Hope it's nice where you are
I saw the pictures of Kendall in the magazines; he was almost always with this perfect, beautiful little… fairy, Jo Taylor – his new girlfriend. It was like watching a slideshow of his life without me while I felt my heart breaking as he forgot me. Back home in Minnesota, I would lie next to Kendall, my head resting on his chest, feeling the rise as he breathed and watched as he slept peacefully, to me that was pure bliss. I frequently texted, skyped, called James, Logan and Carlos to asked how Kendall was. One day, Carlos accidently blurted out that Kendall doesn't talk about me anymore, that the pictures of us together in his room have been taken down and replaced with pictures of her, the fairy. After that, I burned, shredded, tore up over half of the pictures of me and Kendall together and hid the rest in a box under my bed, along with all the other stuff he gave me.
And I hope the sun shines
And it's a beautiful day
And something reminds you
You wish you had stayed
You can plan for a change in weather and time
But I never planned on you changing your mind
I became quite bitter when it came to Kendall after that. I hoped that the weather in LA was bright and sunny and beautiful, but that there was something missing that made him wish that he had stayed and not left me behind. I never planned on Kendall leaving me but you can't plan for someone changing their mind like you can the weather.
So I'll go sit on the floor
Wearing your clothes
All that I know is
I don't know how to be something you miss
Never thought we'd have a last kiss
Never imagined we'd end like this
Your name, forever the name on my lips
Saying goodbye at the airport was possibly the hardest thing that I have ever had to do.
~FLASHBACK~
His lips captured mine with all the passion, adoration, and love that he could manage. Our final kiss was only brief before we both pulled away; the sorrow in his eyes mirroring what I knew was in my own. We both knew what had to happen but neither of us wanted to be the one to say it.
However, taking a deep breath, I said, "Kendall, you know as well as I that we,"
"We need to break up," He sighed, interrupting me.
Tears began to work their way down my face, "I love you Kendall," I sobbed.
"Hey, hey, it's not forever," he whispered tilting my head up to his, "I love you too Harper but we both know that this isn't going to work if I'm in LA,"
"I know, I just don't want to lose you,"
"Boys, we have to go now," Mama Knight called
"Goodbye Kendall," I whispered.
"See you soon okay," taking me in his arm once more before he left as I nodded my head.
And just like that, I was watching my boyf – ex-boyfriend walk out of my life. As soon as they were out of sight the four of us left behind collapsed into each other, at a loss for what to do now that they were gone.
Just like our last kiss
Forever the name on my lips
Forever the name on my lips
Just like our last...