*chuckles* I've had fun with this. A lot of fun-I mean, who wouldn't want to make up ridiculous things for their favorite characters to do? …I don't know if I want you to answer or not.

Disclaimer: I do not own House of Anubis.

1. I will not tell Victor Corbiere has been stolen and the model in his office is just a replica.

Fabian paced outside of Victor's office nervously, occasionally glancing at the door. Did he really want to do this? Well, there was no backing out. Cautiously, he approached the door and knocked it. He paused, and knocked it once more.

"Yes, what is it? I'm coming, I'm coming, hold on."

Victor's scratchy voice sounded just before the door clicked and it opened. Fabian stared at Victor and swallowed. No backing out now.

Victor narrowed his eyes. "Fabian Rutter…well, out with it, boy."

Fabian blinked and cleared his throat. "Er, Victor, may I see Corbiere for a second?"

Victor's glare hardened. "No, you may not. Explain why you are here."

Fabian swallowed again. "Well, ahem, Victor, I have some outside information that this Corbiere is a fake, and has been stolen."

"What? Where did you hear that?" Victor suddenly sounded frantic.

"I heard Jerome and Alfie bragging about it." True enough.

Victor gave a start and swept past Fabian calling, "Clarke! Lewis! Come here! Now!" He turned to Fabian. "You, boy! Next time you hear about this, don't hesitate and spit it out!" Then he was off going down the stairs.

Fabian sighed. That part was over. He was glad, because he wasn't a very good liar, and the Jerome and Alfie part was believable. Very. Fabian glanced into Victor's office to look at the raven-crow-whatever that black bird was.

Fabian shivered. That bird gave him the creeps.

2. I will not tell Amber that her couple names are stupid.

Jerome hesitated outside Nina and Amber's door. Did he really want to face the wrath of the blonde? But then he thought, Jerome is too cool to be concerned. And he rapped his knuckle on the door.

Amber was the one that opened it. When she saw Jerome, she furrowed her brow. "Are you here for Nina?"

"No," Jerome replied.

"Why are you here, then?" Amber sounded genuinely confused.

Jerome took a step back and motioned to the hall. "Please, join me." Amber gave him an odd look before slowly entering and closing the door behind them. "Okay, so, the boys have all been discussing, and, they chose me to come forward-"

"Come forward about what?" Amber interrupted. "Look, I was in the middle of getting my hair done, it's all messy, can't you tell?"

Jerome glanced up. Not a single wisp was out of place.

"Er, yeah, sure."

"Then what do you want?"

"Look, Amber, us guys have been talking, and we've decided this-" Jerome paused, then decided to get straight to the point. "Your couple names are stupid."

"Excuse me?"

"Yeah. Amfie? What kind of messed up name is that? It sounds like a flower. And Jara? It sounds like you're trying to name a statue, I mean seriously-? And what about Fabina? It sounds like a demented rose or something, or terrible nailpolish. Mickra? Please. It's just a tongue twister, and who likes Mickra, anyway? Losers, as far as I'm concerned, and Peddie? Sounds like something you'd name your toenail. Seriously, Am-"

Jerome returned to his room later that day with a throbbing headache, and his ears feeling like they were about to fall off. I mean, he knew Blondie could scream, but…who knew being beat over the head with a comb could hurt this much?

3. I will not shove Nina and Fabian in a closet saying if she really is his Chosen One then prove it.

"Come on, Nina, nice and slow…"

"Patricia? Where are you taking me?"

Patricia glanced back. "Oh, um, Fabian said he wanted to meet you."

"In the school corridor?"

Patricia shrugged, trying to look nonchalant. "I don't know, Nina, that boy's mind works in strange ways." Her nose crinkled. "Always on about school."

Nina laughed. "You know, Patricia, if I didn't know better, I'd say you were Jerome's Chosen One, if you weren't dating the Osirian of course."

Patricia growled. Oh, Nina was going to get it.

"Here!" Patricia stopped in front of a closet.

"Uh, Patricia? Why are we standing in a closet?"

"Fabian's mind works in strange ways, doesn't it? Apparently he wanted to meet you in there. Go on, then."

Nina hesitantly turned the handle. She glanced back, biting her lip.

"Go on, Nina."

"Jerome?" Nina sounded incredulous.

"Yeah, me. Fabian wanted me to walk him over, saying he was a bit nervous. He's in there, Nina, I saw him step in a minute ago. Go on."

Nina nodded slowly and opened the door. Inside the closet was blackness.

"He's in there."

When Nina hesitated again, Jerome stepped up and pushed her forward. As she fell in with a shriek Jerome shouted, "There you go, Fabian! Now if Nina's really your Chosen One, prove it!" Then slammed the door closed.

It was silent for a moment.

"Nina said I could be your Chosen One, seeing as we're so alike," Patricia finally spoke. Jerome turned to her.

"Opposites attract, Patricia. I'm dating Mara, and plan to marry her some day. You just keep on dating the American, 'kay?"

"Okay."

"Let's never speak of this again."

4. I will not write in marker on Fabian's face, 'I love Nina' then forget to tell him for the rest of the day.

Fabian was confused. Everywhere he went today, everyone was laughing at him, and he could not fathom why. When he asked Nina, she just patted his cheek and gave a small giggle, before changing the subject and talking about a book. Amber just 'aww'ed at him and clapped her hands, singing, 'Fabina!' But Fabian did not know why.

Every time Jerome looked at him, he would snicker and turn away, then break out into uncontrollable laughter. Joy and Patricia would just smirk, while Alfie and Eddie avoided looking at him. Yes, Fabian could not fathom why.

"G'day!"

Mick suddenly stood in the front door, beaming. Fabian widened his eyes and rushed over.

"Mick! Hi!"

Mick turned his gaze and Fabian and then suddenly let out a snicker and turned away. Fabian furrowed his brow.

"Mick?"

"It-it's good to see you, F-Fabian," Mick wheezed through laughter. Fabian looked at him curiously.

"What's so funny?"

Mick gestured vaguely at Fabian. "Here's a question for you, mate. Have you looked in a mirror lately?"

Fabian widened his eyes and rushed to the bathroom, quickly facing the mirror. He studied his face. In bold, on his forehead, decorated in little hearts were the words, 'I love Nina' and under it, 'My Chosen One'.

"JEROME!"

Oh, he was going to pay.

5. I will not tell Amber her clothes are out of style and polka-dots just went into fashion.

Nina sighed before putting down her book and glancing at her roommate. "Ambs?"

Amber glanced up from her fashion magazine. "Nins?"

"Er…haven't you noticed something wrong with your wardrobe lately?"

Amber pursed her lips, suddenly looking anxious. "No, why?"

Nina swallowed. "Well, I was recently reading this fashion magazine-no, not that one, a different, newer one-and it said-" Nina took a deep breath. "You know how right now, pink is the new pink?"

"Yeah?" Amber leaned forward expectantly, and when Nina hesitated further she cried, "Come on, Nina, spit it out!"

Nina looked at her then suddenly said, "Well, that's wrong. Polka dots are the new style these days."

Amber looked at Nina for five seconds before she suddenly burst out laughing. "Oh, Nina," she cried through her laughter, "you are too hilarious and just so naïve."

Nina looked confused. She was sure-and she thought Jerome had been, too-that Amber would go out immediately and by polka dot things. So why was Amber laughing?

Amber continued. "Nins, never trust those magazines. Firstly, how can that be possible? I've been tracking Victoria Beckham's Facebook, and nothing new about style has been said. Second-Nina, why would you believe this trash? Polka dots? Every good styler knows that polka dots, unless matched very well, should not be worn-"

Nina groaned as she listened to Amber rattle off for another hour about the audacity of wearing such a thing. Curse Jerome and that stupid list. Curses.

*chuckles again* Well, there you go, one through five. Remember, there's going to be a hundred of these rules, just letting you know. Not a hundred chapters, necessarily, but, if you do the math, you'll know.

~D