I think in the past three days I have not moved from my spot in front of my laptop. I also think I may have read every page there is to read about teen pregnancies, and GED's. Which is astounding considering how many there is on the internet. I stretch my muscles out as I stand and decide that I have spent way too many hours on this and I definitely need to hunt sooner rather than later. Five days is much too long to go without taming the flames we call thirst. The family seems to think I don't feel any thirst, they are sadly mistaken. I feel the flames just as intensely as any other of our kind. I can just throw my shield out around me and block the sounds and smells. The fire still remains, though; I haven't been as forth coming as I probably should. I just feel as though Edward would regret turning me, and though at times I have regretted it as well, for the most part I don't. Even if we never work in the end I would still enjoy every moment I have with my family, and my daughter, not that I get to spend a lot of time with her. But when I do it is the most enjoyable thing.
I lose my self in the hunt and take down two bucks. They cool my throat to a bearable level, and I think that I will be able to hold out about 3 more days before I need to hunt again. Perhaps I should start hunting every two days now as I will be dealing with humans more often. I slosh my way back home to start a hot shower.
The hot water rushes over my body, and I close my eyes to enjoy the warmth I haven't had for more years than I wish to remember. It warms me within a few minutes, I open my eyes and glare at the strawberry shampoo Edward insists I use to keep my scent as close to my human scent as possible. Since becoming a vampire it is a scent I truly dislike, but sense Edward insists I use it to keep him happy. After washing off in my strawberry scented shampoo and my strawberry body wash I rinse off and run towards my bedroom to dress.
"Sniffff" I hear a deep breath being taken in and quickly turn and crouch, losing my towel in the process.
"There is no reason for you to act so unbecoming, Isabella. It is only me. It is Friday after all. Did you think since I was upset I wouldn't come for my weekly visit?" Edward asks.
"No, I just wasn't expecting anyone to be in my house, Edward. It was just a natural instinct." I try to explain. I know he hates that I am so quick to crouch and act like a vampire in general.
"Nevertheless, you should really learn to control those urges. Do you really think that it is possible to work with human girls acting in such a way? You won't ever be able to do it without sharing our secrets, and then what will we have. Hmm? A child without a mother, because you acted like a vampire and she found out our secrets. Do you honestly think this is the best idea, Isabella? I swear you never think before you do things. This won't work out in the end. It will only be a disaster. You will have no one to blame but yourself when it does."
"But.."
"No, buts, Isabella. You really should talk to me about these hair brained ideas of yours first before calling a family meeting. Sometimes, I swear you act just like your mother. Never putting any thought into an idea before you do it. Now come, I have to go home soon, and I don't want to waste what time we have together."
I walk over to him, my towel long forgotten, I lay in the bed. Edward kisses my lips, moves down my neck, and then pays a few minutes attention to my breasts. He then proceeds to climb over top of me in the missionary position just as always. I could even tell you when he will cum. On thrust 159 he will spill into me and tell me how good it was. Proceed to get dressed and then leave me sitting alone in my bed. I tried once to get him to have sex with me on the couch, it was one of the worst decisions I have ever made. My thoughts take me to a faraway place where Edward adores me and can't get enough of me. He makes love to me under the stars, on a counter, in the shower, tub, and then he just has animalistic sex with me. I almost have an orgasm thinking of it, then we get to 159 and he stills inside of me and tells me that I am so very good.
Edward stands to put his clothes back on, I run vampire speed to my shower again to get him off of me as soon as possible. I hear his footsteps reach the mansion and I pull the shower head down to wash him out of me as best I can. I close my eyes and thump my head on the shower wall. The shower head bounces with my arm and hits my clitoris, I moan out. It doesn't take long for me to move the water in different directions around my clit to get me off. I can't stop the scream that falls from my lips. I pray no one heard me that would be so embarrassing for me. Not to mention bring Edward back down here to berate me more.
I can't believe he is such an asshole sometimes. There are days I dream of just leaving, but I don't have the means to do so, and would never hurt my daughter in that way. She would be so disappointed to know I left her father. Of course I realize that I probably can't leave my mate behind regardless, but I sure do want to sometimes.
I do love Edward; it just seems we are so much different than I ever thought we were. He is a lot more controlled and has that 19th century air about him. Women shouldn't work, have opinions, and so on. It is really hard for me because I grew up doing all those things. Now my husband hates them and I hate if I don't. It's just an impasse. I hate that we have grown apart over the years. I don't even think it is his entire fault. I think it is just natural after being with someone for so long. Of course if I think about all the others, that doesn't really, seem true either. Esme, & Carlisle, Rose & Em, they all adore one another and their love for one another knows no bounds. Jasper and Alice I think are a lot like Edward and I. I can relate to Jasper better than anyone else in the family. I think it is because our mates berate us and in general have such low opinions about us. It's sad really.
But as I said I won't leave him. Renesme would be heartbroken if her father and I weren't together. Not to mention, Jake would probably kill me. Well not really kill me, but he would be pissed I became this for Edward and then didn't even stay with him. Can't say as I blame him for that though. I'd probably be pissy about it to.
I walk towards the main house to see what everyone else is up to; I get lonely sometimes and like to spend time with everyone.
"Bella Boo! Did you come to play with me?"
"Uh,"
Slap! "What the hell Rosie?"
"Do you realize what you just said you big oaf?"
"Yeah, I asked Bella, OH. Damn Rosie I love your mind but that wasn't what I meant!" Emmett roars out laughing.
"Sorry, Emmett, but I get Bella this time! You got her last time, so it's only fair!" Alice grabs my hand and tries to pull me towards her room.
"Actually, I was wondering if anyone would like to go to the movies with me." I pull my hand free from Alice's grasp.
"But, Bella, I wanted to play Barbie!" Alice pouts.
"I'd love to go, Bells. What are we going to watch?" Jasper asks.
"No." Edward speaks for the first time.
Everyone turns to give him a puzzled look, as to why I can't go to the movies. He still gets a bit over protective at times.
"Sure she can, Edward. I'll make sure she behaves." Jasper tells him.
"I mean no, I'd like to take my wife out alone," he glares at Jasper, then turns to the rest of us, "I mean if you would like to, Sweetheart."
"Uh, Sure. That will be fun." I half grin at him cause he usually never wants to go out with me. I just hope he doesn't have more to say about my new job.
We go to watch the latest IMAX production and it isn't long before we head home. Not much is said on our way there, and of course Edward would consider it rude to talk during a show. So on the way home I try to see what he has decided for a job.
"Have you decided what you want to do?"
"Yes, that's actually why I wanted us to come out alone. I think it is time you and I have some alone time away from the family. We haven't ever done that since our honeymoon and it's time we did so."
I grin thinking about our honeymoon so long ago. That was perhaps one of the greatest times in my life. Edward and I were so young and in love, well, I was young. But it was new love and it was the greatest moment knowing that Edward and I made love for the first time. Conceived our beautiful child, and just had a wonderful time in general for the most part.
"Do you want to go to Isle Esme again?" I almost want to act like Alice and hop up and down.
"No." Edward furrows his brows as he thinks about something. "I was thinking it was time for us to live on our own, away from them all for a year or two. I refuse to work at a meaningless job like McDonald's and since you are hell bent on working, I figure we can go to Alaska with the Denali's and you can work there with Tanya."
"Edward, I don't want to move, we just got here, and I am certainly not going to Alaska to work with Tanya. She hates me, why would I want to do that?" I whine.
"This isn't up for discussion, Isabella Marie!" he almost sounds like he is ordering me.
Edward pulls off to the side of the road and gets out. I know it is because we are almost home and he doesn't want everyone knowing what we are discussing. He walks over to my door and opens it for me to get out.
I get out standing beside him, "You are not my father, Edward. He passed away a long time ago, and you will not order me around as you own me or are my boss!" I raise my voice to him.
"As I said, this is not up for discussion. You are my wife; I know what is best for you, for us. We will be leaving in two days. Tanya already has a job lined up for you as a janitor in her psychiatrist office. You will be working 5 days a week when we get there, maybe that will cure your curiosity of working."
"No, I won't do that. I already have a job lined up, and I want to stay here."
Edward jumps towards me and is nose to nose with me now, "I don't recall asking you if you would do this!" he hisses.
"And I don't recall asking you to find me employment, I already have that here!" I hiss right back in his face.
My venom splatters across his face and he jumps back from me and in the next second I see his right hand come towards my face. I can't move fast enough to get out of its way; I hear a loud thunder crack and am tossed on my ass. I feel my face crack where he has hit me. I jump up and my instincts want me to fight, but I can't fight him, he is too much bigger than me. I throw my shield out where he can't reach me and run for my home.
"Isabella! Get back here; we are not done discussing this!" I hear Edward yell at me.
I don't bother turning back; I drop my shield and continue to run. I pass the main house in a blur, and am soon throwing myself across my bed with venom tears that will never fall.