"Amazing -- I have a brother."
"What a coincidence -- I have a brother named stop bothering me," says Cox.
"He needs some assembling."
Cox ads, "Some assembly required," then sniffs the air and ads, "What is that smell?"
"Oh, well, you see, since androids do not need liquid refreshment to survive, the body exudes the biomechanical contaminates to keep it from further polluting the bio mechanical liquid inside."
"So, essentially your brother is sitting in his own piss."
"Yes, but piss that is still clean and tastes like beer."
"This must be a proud new day for you."
Elliot and ensign Cabbagio come back.
"Sir, the place is massive, but no life forms. But I did find these, " hands Cox and Jada some kid drawn pictures.
Jada speaks, "It appears to be of the settlement."
Elliot comments, "Yeah, but that big crystal Christmas tree thingy is attacking them in every picture. Small hands..." drops the remaining picture, "Ah, ensign Cabbagio, pick those up for me. And hold on to them."
"Huh!" Jada opens a drawer with spare body parts, "Finally -- Floating Head Lt. becomes a reality!"
"Let's beam up dupli-kate before newbie here finds something else to play with."
...
Everyone sits in the Briefing Room.
"You found another one?" asks Jordan.
"I know, I had a similar thought, only laced with many colorful metaphors," replies Cox.
Jada says with a hint of sarcasm, "Gee, I am so glad you are here to counsel me in my time of un-assuredness."
Kelso butts in, "So, how many Jada's are there? If we bend him over and pull his pants down, will it say 'Made in Ferenginar'?"
Jada replies, "Will the real Jada please stand up, please stand up, please stand up," stands and does a funny dance, "please stand up."
"I'm sure if we bend you over it'll say 'Grumpy Ol' Coot'," comments Elliott.
"Actually, it says 'Johnny', but if you went threw what I did, you'd understand."
"Until today I thought I was an only android."
"He could be like his brother. We should assemble it and bring it online," Carla comments.
"Joking aside, is it really wise? I mean -- someone obviously shut it down and disassembled it for a reason," says Kelso.
"Why do you all have to be so insensitive? You're speaking about his brother like he's a machine," Elliot scolds the main officers.
Jada ads, "Implying you think I am one too."
"Well, I do," says Kelso without missing a beat.
Jada looks at Cox, "Et tu, Cox?"
"No, you're a little girl. A robotic little girl--"
"-- that has detachable pig tails and rides a hover trike."
"No. Well ... yes."
"Well, just turn the damn thin on and see if it even works. It has been 30 years," says Kelso.
Turk speaks, "Will we know how ... to 'turn it on'?"
"You want to turn on my brother?"
Cox ads, "I think that just goes without saying."
Jordan nudges Cox, "Perry, we talked about holding back a little."
"All right, all right ... this is cutting dangerously close to me not giving a damn," says Kelso.
"And what do you care about, Bob-O?" asks Cox with folded arms.
"Pastries and Vietnamese women."
"Sir, the Bynars and he computer upgrade," Ted says.
"I know that, Ted. Muffin me," opens his mouth and Ted sticks in a muffin.
"So, Carla, you think you can get that thing up & running?" asks Cox.
"Shouldn't be a problem. Do it right in Sick Bay. Chief Engineer Turk can assist me."
"Yeah, that's what I'm talking about."
"Well, you all go do that. Meeting adjourned. Ted -- wipe," and Ted wipes around Kelso's mouth as everyone leaves the Briefing Room.
Turk puts his hands on Carla's shoulders, "Honey, I got some Engineering stuff to do, so I'll catch you later."
"All right," and with that they kiss. He then jogs off.
"You and Turk seem to be getting along," comments Jada.
"Once you look passed the mole and crackers hidden in his uniform, he's not that bad."
"Hell yeah, and his ass is so round and firm."
"So, how does it feel to know that in less than 24 hours you'll have a brother?"
"You know what -- kind of exciting. though it does bother me I can not seem to find any memories of Sam Dorian constructing him or the colonists seeing him."
"Maybe you came first. Hey, how do we activate your brother?"
"Oh, well I," looks around to make sure they are alone, "I have an on/off switch."
"Where?"
"Not here; I will show you later. He might be watching..."
"He?" she inquires as they walk off.
"If you had an off switch, Carla ... would you not keep it secret?" his voice fades and they go around the corridor bend.
The view pans up to a silent small hover pad. Around the bending corridor hall the Janitor peaks out.
"An on/off switch? This may prove to be better than the Rigillion squirrel hunt. Hover pad -- come," he commands; the pads lowers and as it flies by we see him pick his communicator badge off it and re-attach it to his uniform.
Jada, Carla, and Elliott are in Sick Bay. Carla is setting up.
"So, will he have all our ... parts?" asks Carla.
"Most likely."
"All your parts?" asks Elliott.
"Elliott, I told you earlier -- no robotic threesomes with my future brother."
"Humph."
"Well, no weird fetishes here..." comments Carla.
"You want to find the switch now?" Jada asks Carla.
Carla replies, "What about crazypants here?"
Elliott says, "Oh, you mean his on/off switch? I already know. Auto robotic asphyxiation."
"Shhh, Elliott, I am sure Carla here does not need to know such things."
"Also later," says Carla to Elliott.
"Got'cha."
"Feel along my back, here," guides Carla's hands.
Turk enters with some equipment and passes by.
"There?"
"No, lower."
"Here?"
"Oh, that is the spot."
Turk darts in, "Hey! Whoa, whoa, whoa honey -- how come you feelin' up my robotic homie all up?"
"Relax, she's just turning me on," says Jada.
"How come that doesn't make me feel better?"
"This is purely medical, Turk. What about these small projections?"
"Small projections? I do not have small projection.."
"Okay, that's enough!" shouts Turk, pulling her hands away from Jada.
Just then the Sick Bay doors slide open' Kelso, Cox, and some Engineering personnel enter, bringing with them loose parts of Jada's brother.
"There's your brother now," says Elliott.
"I am so agog!"
"Miss Reed, it's a machine just like Mr. Jada here. WEll, sport," pats Jada on hi back, "it appears you're no longer unique."
Cox commands, "Let's get this thing started, shall we?"
Time passes by, equipment is set up, medical tables prepared and Jada and his brother put atop the adjacent beds. Carla turns Jada off.
"Sleep tight, Pinocchio..."
More time passes. Doug accidentally knocks the head over onto the floor. Turk scolds him. More time. Turks and Carla look over open chest cavities of both androids.
Turk speaks looking at the magnified images via the biobed screens, "Notice the micro-circuitry here ... and ... what there..." pulls a saltine cracker out of Jada and holds it up looking at it.
More time goes by.
"Are you about done there, Gandhi? We already lost Kelso to Lunner."
"What?" says Jordan.
"Snack time inbetween lunch and dinner."
"Closing up now," Turk rubs his hands together while Carla uses a dermal regenerator to seal Jada's chest, "Seemed to go well ... hey -- anybody seen my commbadge?"
"There -- that's it. Everyone turn around while I activate them. You too, Turk."
"But, baby -- I'm your man. Also, I'm sort of his man too, but not in any kind of man-on-man way. Like Best Friends Forever way."
Cox huffs, "Sweet merciful Kahless -- I'm running out of room to bite my tongue."
"Now, Turk."
Turk huffs and turns around. After about 30 seconds she speaks, "There."
They turn about. Jada wakes up.
"How you feeling, buddy?" Turk asks him.
"Feeling slightly groggy."
"Dude, what is it with you and O's & G's today?"
"How long until he awakens?" asks Cox.
"I don't know, "replies Carla.
"Probably inner diagnostics running. Should come to any moment," Turk says.
"It's amazing how much he looks like you," Elliott comments.
"Yeah, well, there is only room for one super hot interstellar stud muffin here," says Jada.
"I wouldn't have you any other way," says Elliott, who wraps her arms around him and gives him a kiss on a cheek.
"Yeah, super hot stud muffin aside, hat do we call him?" Carla asks.
His brother's eyes open suddenly and he looks at Carla.
"You can call me Danlore."