Jerry walked to his spot in front of his audience and said, "Do you ever get the feeling that of all the soft drinks, Dr. Pepper is probably the snootiest? I mean there's Coca-cola. Cola sounds like cool. It's like the type of people you want to hang out with. There's Pepsi, sound's like it's happy, you know, full of pep. And then there's Dr. Pepper. It's the one that has it's wall full of diplomas showing how much smarter it than you and the one that has both summer and winter homes showing how much richer it is than you. If you use your imagination when you open the can or bottle, you can almost hear the fizz saying, 'Your lucky I'm not making you wait a hour to drink me." Jerry paused to listen to the audience's reaction and heard nothing but silence. "What you didn't like that one?"

Popeye responded with, "Phhhhhbbbb!"

Jerry sat down at the table. "Nobody likes a critic, but maybe it does need a little work." He looked at his watch. "I really wish Kramer would hurry up. No human being should take four hours to buy bananas." He looked over at his guest. "So, do you have a girlfriend?" Popeye just kept starring at Jerry. "If you don't, you actually have the right idea. The dating scene is a jungle out there." Popeye continued to stare at Jerry for a moment, then hopped out of the chair and climbed onto the couch and started watching TV. "Yes, every friendship should start with television."

Just as Jerry was about to stand up, his door buzzer came on. "Great, this is exactly when I need company," he grumbled as he walked over and pushed a button. "Yeah?" he said into the speaker.

"It's George," came the response.

"Come on up," he said, then pressed another button and then unlatched the door.

He turned to Popeye and said, "Now I want you to behave. I would hate it if you embarrassed me in front of my friends." He stopped and paused. "Actually, I might ought to be worried about them embarrassing me in front of you." He shrugged. "Oh well, who cares."

The door opened and George excitedly stepped inside. "You will never guess what happened to me today."

"You know, I might can take a guess," Jerry said. "You walked into a friends apartment and saw a monkey sitting on his couch."

George looked at the monkey for a few seconds. "Well, yeah that did happen, but that isn't what I was talking about. I met the love of my life today. I felt like my heart jumped out of my chest and was flying around in the big, blue sky. I can't wait to see her again."

Jerry smiled and leaned against the table. "I haven't seen you this excited in a while. Come on, give me details. What's her name and where did you meet?"

"Well, first off, she has a truly beautiful and unique name," George said. "Get this, it's Margot Estansobar."

Jerry nodded his head a little too fast. "Yes, that is a unique name. Yeah, yeah, that's right."

George studied Jerry's face. "What, you don't like the name? I think it's a great name."

"I don't know, it just sounds a little made up. That's all."

George scoffed. "What kind of a sicko would make up a name to impress someone?"

Jerry paused and pretended to think for a second. "You know it seems like I remember someone making up names before. I'm not really sure who it was exactly though." Jerry looked straight at George.

George waved Jerry away. "Bah, who cares for the past when the future is so bright. Now do want me to continue the story or do you want to keep slandering the good name of Costanza?"

"Yes, get on the story. It only takes one person to slander a name, not two."

"Well, anyway, we were standing in line at the convenience store and I was right behind her. I noticed that she had a bottle of Dr. Pepper in her hand so I decided to give her the line about how the commercials say diet tastes just like regular, but how in real life they don't really taste the same."

"Yes, I've heard your Dr. Pepper theory a few times. How did she take it?"

George smiled and said, "She said that she had told her friends that many times before. Then she noticed my Pepsi, and this is her exact words, 'You know, parties would be a lot better if people brought Pepsi instead of wine.' Can you believe it?!"

Jerry shook his head. "I'm actually having trouble believing it. Are you sure you had Pepsi in you hand and not something a little stronger?"

George laughed. "No, no, it was Pepsi. And after that lovely piece of conversation, she noticed that her Dr. Pepper had expired last week. Well that caused me to look at mine and it had expired on the exact same date. Well, we confronted the manager together and guess what happened." Jerry was about to guess but George decided to push on with the story. "We not only was able to get them for free, we were able to get all of the expired drinks for free. I always fail in those situations, but baby were we a tag team. We gave that manager a major piece of our minds. She was the rock, I was the hard place, and boy was he in between us. He was practically begging us to take them all. When we left we each had three bags full of Pepsi and Dr. Pepper."

"Well," Jerry said, "I bet you wish you knew the expiration date on your kidneys after drinking that much Pepsi."

George continued without paying attention to Jerry's remark. "The topper of the whole encounter happened right before we parted ways. We told each what our jobs were. I told her that I work for the Yankees and she seemed pretty impressed. But Jerry, try and guess what she does."

Jerry acted like he was thinking. "I don't know. How about an astronaut?"

"No, but close. She's an architect. I've always dreamed of dating an architect."

"I thought you always wanted to pretend to be an architect."

George shrugged. "They're very similar dreams." George walked over and started to pour him a glass of water. "Anyway, she wants to meet again tonight. I told her that she could come over here. You know so that I can show how good I get along with other people."

Jerry nodded. "That makes sense. The only other time she saw you interact with people you were making a convenience store manager cry. I could see how you might want to improve your image a little."

George took a drink from his glass and pointed at Popeye. "So do you think Kramer will be back for the monkey by seven tonight?"

"How did you know Kramer was involved?"

George laughed. "Who else could be the reason for a monkey to be in your apartment?"

"Yeah, you've got a point. He went out to buy some bananas over four hours ago so hopefully he'll be back by then."

"Well, I guess all we can do is wait and see. But I have my doubts."

Meanwhile, on the other side of the city, Kramer was laying face down in an alley. The man standing over him held up a paper bag. "Heh, heh. We'll take this off your hands. It must be something good the way you had it clutched to your chest." He motioned for the other two men to follow him and they quickly left the scene.

The last thing Kramer said before passing out was, "But Popeye needs his bananas."