The flight back was uneventful and silent. The gentle hum of engines could be heard through the walls, and quiet mumblings here and there bounced around. Peter had shuffled himself away from everyone, sitting as far from the team as possible, curling in on himself and staring at the floor. He could feel the glances the others kept sending his way, but he didn't acknowledge any of them. All he could think of was that he had nowhere to go. If it had been a simple kidnapping, he could have gone to stay with Ned, or even maybe Michelle, but since he was still internally, and somewhat externally, freaking out about what the Devil man told him, he needed to stay away from them. He couldn't live with himself if he did anything to them.
Tony kept an eye on Peter's form as they flew. He could see the way his shoulders and back moved with every shaky inhale and exhale. The way the kid was slightly trembling, staring blankly at the floor. The way he hugged his knees to his chest with a death grip. Tony could practically see the hurt, pain, and fear radiating off of Peter, and in turn it hurt Tony. It hurt him to know that he could have done something more to try to find the kid, to try to connect with him before this whole shit storm started. He should have been a better person.
The kid would flinch at every slight patch of turbulence they went through, curling in tighter and tighter. It reminded Tony of the plane ride from Germany and how the kid, despite his constant snarky mutterings and obviously fake smile plastered on his face, clutched the armrests of his seat with white knuckles at every slight bump in the plane's otherwise smooth flight. Apparently, the way to Germany was roughly the same, from what Happy told him. Even though the kid tried, and did an okay job, keeping his happy, bubbly exterior, Happy took note of the terror that flashed in the kid's eyes at every slight jerk, and the shaky breaths he would take on every bump.
"You know that you have a 1 in 11 million chance of dying in a plane crash kid? You have about a 1 in 5,000 chance of dying in a car crash, to give you perspective. There's nothing you need to worry about," Tony had told the kid, who's face flashed with hurt briefly before the kid laughed nervously and continued staring out the window with a sharp nod. He still wasn't sure why the kid was freaking out so much about planes.
So Tony watched Peter's reactions at every movement that differed from the smooth course they were on. The autopilot was in place once they took off, allowing for all of the Avengers to sit around and just chat, trying to figure out what exactly was going on.
"So they call themselves the Corporation? How original," Clint said with a roll of his eyes. "Soon enough we'll fight the Company, or maybe the Conglomeration! How terrifying." Natasha smacked him on the arm, with Clint uttering a sharp 'ow!' and rubbing the sore spot.
"Do we know exactly what they wanted from us? That man, Dr. Hellekson, just said that he wanted Tony, Steve, and Bruce. Did he get anything he wanted," Widow asked in a calm, yet somewhat terrifying manner.
"It turns out that we weren't who he was after in the first place," Steve said, glancing at the teen who was visibly trying really hard not to freak out.
"My question still stands."
"We have no idea. Apparently, we were just pawns in a bigger game. He used us to get to the kid," Tony spat angrily. "He wanted to break the kid." Each Avenger's face morphed into a scowl, though some more noticeable than others.
"So he wanted Peter. Why weren't you watching out for him Stark? He was dragged into this whole mess because of you," Steve asked somewhat harshly.
"So it's my fault that we all ended up at that compound? It's my fault that the kid ended up there? You know, you're right Steve, hit it right on the nose," Tony said, anger still somewhat evident in his voice, but it wasn't directed at anyone but himself. "If I had been paying better attention to the kid and not just ignoring him maybe all of this could have been prevented. Maybe the kid would still have someone to go back home to. Shit," Tony exclaimed before running a hand across his face and leaning back, his head hitting the wall with a soft thud.
"What do you mean someone to go back to Tony? What happened," Bruce asked softly.
"His aunt died in the fight between Spider-man and Green Goblin." It was a simple fact said with no emotion.
"What about his parents, siblings, I mean, it's his aunt, the kid still has a family right?" Everyone stared at Tony expectantly, watching the man's face twist into sadness, something none of them really had seen on him before, not truly.
"She was all he had left. His parents died when he was around six, and they left him with his aunt and uncle. The uncle died a few days before Spider-man showed his face, bled out in the kid's arms from a gunshot wound. I'm pretty sure this kid has had a heavy dose of survivor's guilt since then, and only getting worse from then on. His aunt was used as a bargining chip during the fight between Spidey and Goblin, and unfortunately, he was too late and another family member bled out in his arms. The worst part was he had to leave her lying there, because secret ID and everything." The group all stared at Tony before looking at the kid with looks of sympathy. They had all lost people close to them, but to lose so many before you were even sixteen was cruel.
"I call it Parker Luck," Peter said softly, causing the group to startle, not expecting the kid to reply. Peter remained staring at the floor. "It's how my life is, everyone I get close to ends up dead, mom, dad, Uncle Ben, Aunt May. It's just bound to happen."
"Kid, you still have friends at school, you have us, you have people who care." Peter turned to stare at them with sparkling, tear-filled eyes.
"I can't, not anymore," was all Peter could choke out before he went back to staring at the floor, hugging himself tighter.
"You can't what son," Steve asked softly, wondering if he should stand and comfort the teen or not.
"I can't be around anyone anymore," came the broken reply.
"Why is that Pete," Tony asked, slowly standing and moving towards the small teen. Peter just shook his head and buried it in his knees. "Come on Peter, you have to talk to us." Tony went to place a gentle hand on Peter's shoulder, but just before he touched him, Peter freaked and leapt clear across the jet, clinging to the wall with his back facing it. His chest was heaving and his eyes were somewhat wild.
The group watched as he slowly slid to the floor and started hyperventilating. He was shaking violently and letting out small whimpers and choked sobs as he curled in on himself, burying his head in his arms. No one moved, mainly because they weren't quite sure what to do. Sure they've each had their fair share of panic attacks, but none of them had witnessed a kid have one, or what they should do. Some people liked being comforted, others despised touch and it only made it worse. So they remained still and unmoving as the teen slowly tried to regain his breath and remain conscious.
After about an hour, Peter had somewhat uncurled and slowed his breathing closer to his normal rhythm and speed. His response somewhat shocked the group. He gave a shaky, breathy laugh and looked up at the group, tear tracks on his face.
"Well that was embarrassing, I kind of flipped out. Sorry," he croaked out with another short laugh and a watery smile on his face. The expression fell into one of confusion when he saw the concerned and shocked expressions on most of the Avengers, minus Natasha, but there was still concern sparkling in her eyes. "What?"
"Kid you just had a full-blown panic attack, and a bad one at that, and you're apologizing," Tony said softly, yet in a somewhat forceful manner, crouching down in front of the teen. Peter nodded slightly, confusion still evident on his face.
"Listen, son, you don't have to apologize for having a panic attack. We've all had our fair share, and it's nothing you need to be ashamed of," Steve said gently, causing another shaky laugh from the teen. Peter ran a hand down his face.
"I'm sorry I freaked you guys out, but I'm fine now, promise, just don't, no touchy okay," Peter said, trying to make somewhat of a joke, but it fell flat when he still saw the concern on their faces. His small smile fell into a serious expression. "Seriously guys, I'm fine, I've dealt with this kind of stuff before. Just don't touch me and let me sort it out on my own alright. I'm perfectly fine now though, see," Peter said, standing up and spreading his arms to his sides. "I'm fine, now how far from New York are we," Peter asked, wandering back to his seat, sitting down, and fiddling with the sleeve of his sweatshirt. He missed the comforting weight of his webshooters pressing against his wrists.
"ETA's about five minutes," Clint responded, getting some looks from everyone, and he shrugged back at them. "The kid asked, I was just answering him, jeesh, touchy much?"
"Where are you planning on staying Peter," Natasha asked calmly. Peter didn't make any sound, just shrugging in response.
"I might go back to the apartment to see if any of my stuff's there and then I'll probably go and stay with my friend," Peter said, lying through his teeth.
"No you're not." Peter winced and stared into Widow's eyes. "You don't know where you're going do you."
"I can't stay with anyone," Peter muttered quietly.
"Why Peter," Nat asked in a more gentle tone than anyone's ever really heard he speak. Peter didn't respond and continued playing with his sleeve. "You can tell us, we can help you Маленький паук, you can trust us." Peter looked back up at her with furrowed eyebrows as he understood that she called him Little Spider in Russian.
"Why did you call me little spider," Peter asked softly, causing Natasha to raise an eyebrow.
"You speak Russian?" Peter's eyes flickered around before his head dropped.
"Apparently," he said. "Apparently I can do more things than even I know I can."
Everyone watched as Natasha stood and sat across from Peter, leaning closer to him. Tony had made his way back to his own seat before the exchange took place.
"What did they do to you Peter," Nat asked in a murderous tone, though directed at whoever hurt her Маленький паук. Sure she didn't know him all that well, but she had been watching him and keeping an eye on the teen, making sure he was alright. She was away on another mission when he was taken, and was back for less than a day before the mission to take down the compound.
"The Corporation created the Winter Soldier program," he muttered, causing the whole group to stiffen slightly. "They improved it, I guess, that's what that guy told me. They figured out a way to add in skills and stuff without having to take anything out. They tried it before, but now those people are dead because it was apparently too much information. They wanted loyal soldiers, but who still knew who they were. Apparently I was the perfect subject," Peter finished, so soft that only Widow and those with super hearing could hear him. Nat growled and Steve's eyes narrowed dangerously.
"Those bastards," Steve growled, causing a small 'language' jibe from Tony, who was promptly smacked by both Clint and Bruce.
"That man told me that if I left, I was basically a time bomb. He told me that anything could cause an 'implant' to surface and I could, I could," Peter kept trying, but he had started to panic again. Natasha placed a gentle, yet firm, hand on Peter's knee, which surprisingly calmed him greatly. He gave her a soft smile before it fell as he started again. "That's why he asked if I really wanted to leave, and why he let us leave. He already got what he wanted, even if I wasn't a loyal soldier to them, I was still dangerous. That's why I can't stay with either of my friends, or you all. I could hurt, or kill someone without meaning to. I already have enough trouble holding back as is, but now, now I can't risk doing anything," Peter said, burying his face in his hands as the jet landed at the compound.
"We're here."
"We will help you Peter, you just have to trust us," Widow said softly. Peter looked up at her before giving a tiny nod. She helped him stand and the team exited the plane. They knew that they were going to have to help the kid somehow.
The problem was they didn't know how.