Stealth was key in an observation mission. It required real finesse, no small amount of charm, and the ability to be as unobtrusive as possible.
As was to be expected, Kisame was pretty pants at stealth. For an S-ranked missing-nin, anyway. It just wasn't his style.
He was still more than talented enough to evade a flock of stupid-looking Chuunins on border duty.
"Kisame."
Kisame turned a pointy smile in his partner's direction. True to form, Itachi didn't even appear to acknowledge it.
"Your humming. It is… disturbing. And is a threat to our mission."
"I thought we needed better theme music." Kisame casually rolled out his neck and then readjusted his idiotic bell-hat. "This sneaking shit is way over-rated."
Itachi didn't dignify that with a reply, instead choosing to stare blankly into Kisame's eyes until he felt a shiver run up and down his spine.
"Kami, you are just the creepiest kid sometimes, 'Tachi." Kisame complained good-naturedly. "Fine. I'll be very quiet and won't disturb your precious observation mission. But the kid's only a Genin, isn't he?"
"I do not know." Kisame saw the slightest twitch on the side of Itachi's mouth, indicating his extreme irritation. "That is the reason we are observing."
Pein had given them some free reign as to how and when they would capture the nine-tails' jinchuriki. Itachi had really drug his feet, but Kisame eventually wheedled him into using the convenient distraction of a Chuunin exam to at least see what they were up against. If all went well, they would capture their jinchuriki target now before it was decently trained. Then they could get their next assignment. There were still more jinchuriki than Akatsuki teams.
Capturing the nine-tails while Konoha was preoccupied with a Chuunin exam and multiple foreign nin would be relatively easy and very efficient. Kisame liked efficient.
The rest of the trip into Konoha proper was made in mind-numbing silence. Itachi and Kisame slipped in with a group of civilians. Itachi genjutsu-d the gate guards into a nodding stupor and they just walked into the village.
Frankly, it wasn't how Kisame would have chosen to show up. But this was Itachi's home village, and if the boy had some misplaced sentimentality for this shit-hole Kisame would at least make a token effort to not raze the thing to the ground.
They avoided detection easily and merely walked into the market district, where Itachi seemed to think they would find their target.
"NARUTO!"
Kisame's ears were far from sensitive, but he nearly twitched in response to the sudden pain.
The source wasn't hard to locate. A tiny, pink haired girl lifted the jinchuuriki up into the air and swung him with a sickening sort of nonchalance. When she let go, he flew into a clay building with a satisfying 'thud'.
'A kid like that has some potential.'
Itachi made a tiny croaking sound to his left, but it sounded really far away and distorted- like Kisame was underwater.
Kisame watched as the delicate preteen then picked up a chunk of the building she'd broken and threw it on top of the jinchuuriki lying in the mud. Then she daintily kicked him in the ribs for good measure and dusted her hands.
She made a pleased little sound before primly walking away. Kisame jerked forward –not sure what he was going to do, but hell if he wasn't going-, but Itachi stepped in front of him with practiced grace.
As Kisame watched, the jinchuuriki slowly removed himself from the debris and tried to brush off some of the cement dust. But he appeared to give it up as a bad job when he saw the little girl walking away.
"Sakura-chan, come back! I didn't mean to imply that you were an undateable hag! Honest!"
"He's suicidal." Kisame muttered, and Itachi made that small noise from the back of his throat that said he agreed. "We should probably collect him before he gets himself killed."
Left unsaid is that this wasn't for the idiot child's benefit. If he died, Akatsuki would either have to find a new plan or wait about 100 years for the bijuu to re-form.
The scent of yakitori wafted on the breeze and tickled at Kisame's nostrils. His stomach grumbled in response- well and truly sick of tiny roasted forest animals and nutrition bars.
It wouldn't hurt if they stayed in Konoha overnight, would it? After all, Itachi apparently had some business to take care of while they were here- a contact to meet, or something, Kisame wasn't going to pry into his partner's personal affairs- and it wasn't like they were in a hurry.
Kisame looked at Itachi evaluatingly. They were already ahead of schedule in having located their target- who was obviously in the village and dressed like a fucking traffic cone. He would be easily located tomorrow. No rush there. But once they picked up the gaki they would have to beat it out of Konoha- regardless of whether Itachi had finished his business or not.
The solution was as obvious as it was desired. They could eat real food and meet Itachi's contact tonight, then pick up their jinchuriki in the morning.
"Tomorrow." Kisame amended, waiting for his partner's input. Itachi stood still for a moment. Slowly, he nodded.
"That is acceptable."
The next day, they had absolutely no luck in locating their wayward idiot. "He nearly ran into me yesterday." Kisame grumbled uncharitably. "And now we can't find him at all. Kids are so inconsiderate."
As per usual, Itachi just stared quietly off into the distance instead of eating his dango. The customers around them chattered and bustled around the outdoor tables, providing some decent background noise. It was hard having only Itachi- 'the Mute Wonder' around sometimes.
The stand was really busy- all 6 outdoor tables were occupied. It had been even more crowded the night before when Itachi had wanted to come here, but this afternoon they'd beaten the worst of the crowd and claimed their own table. Really, the tables fit 6-8 people but somehow no one wanted to ask the gigantic shark-man if he was willing to share space. The other customers were genin and civilians- too unaware to know who Kisame or Itachi were, and too inexperienced to fight them even if they did. It was almost relaxing.
Kisame huffed. "Teenagers. Eat your food, kid. You're still growing."
Itachi gave him a look that said he knew full well that his growth spurts were over.
"At least I hope so." Kisame amended. "You're so damn tiny. Maybe you're great at fighting ninja, but I think a stiff breeze would do you in."
Itachi sullenly pulled a piece of dango off the stick and put it into his mouth. Kisame grinned. "See? I'm great with kids. So, back to what we were talking about yesterday-"
"Well, what do we have here?" A gruff-looking Jounin puffed his cigarette, unintentionally blowing the smoke into Itachi's face and dango. Itachi's mouth twisted into a moue of disappointment.
"Uchiha Itachi." The red eyed woman behind him accused. "What are you doing here?"
"Well, we were trying to eat, you rude bastards." Kisame grumbled. "But you've ruined our food. So I guess we'll just take your blond idiot jinchuuriki and go on home then."
The people around them stilled. "Naruto?" A wild-eyed boy with a puppy asked from the gaggle of Genin a few tables over. "I thought he left with that Toad Guy-" someone wisely clamped a hand over his mouth, but the damage was already done. The red-eyed woman looked increasingly ill.
"We could take this outside?" She asked queasily, backing a few feet away to allow Kisame and Itachi room to leave.
Itachi stood and walked out of the restaurant, leaving his uneaten (smoky, Kisame frowned) dango on the table. Kisame sneered at the Jounin, who quickly skittered out behind Itachi.
Kisame's partner led them to a bridge overlooking a lazy stream. It was apparently an unpopular place, as Kisame couldn't sense anyone in the area. It was less than surprising. Itachi had never enjoyed extra casualties.
"Oh, no." Kisame faux-grumbled, fingers eagerly unsnapping the holds securing Samehada to his back. "Konoha Jounin. Whatever will I do?" He grinned, and the red-eyed woman in front of him twitched.
"No." Itachi stated calmly. "Now is not the time. Come, Kisame."
"We won't let you just leave." The woman ground out.
She had guts. Too bad they'd be all over the ground soon. Samehada hungered, and Kisame was nothing if not a dutiful caretaker.
"Let me."
It was so quiet Kisame barely heard it, but he stood back and let Itachi do his work. The woman made eye contact with Itachi so quickly Kisame thought it almost had to be a trap.
But no, it seemed to just be criminal incompetence. The Tsukuyomi took hold and she slumped to the ground like a puppet with cut strings. The other Jounin jumped to her aid, but it was already far too late.
"I think we'll be going now." Itachi turned and shunshined away, and Kisame followed in a haze of irritation. It wasn't like fighting those weaklings would have really helped their cause any, but he still wanted to.
A few minutes later, they were safely enough out of range to stop. "I suppose we should report the extraction a failure." Itachi said blankly. "I am loathe to engage the Toad Sannin. It is likely that would lead to both of our deaths."
Kisame grunted. "Fair enough. We can always ask for more backup to get the Nine-Tails."
Itachi looked relieved.
"But while we're here…" Kisame prodded with a grin. "We could pick up that thing I wanted."
"Kisame." But Kisame could tell he was wearing down.
"It's all I've ever wanted." Kisame crossed his arms. "And I'll be great at it, you'll see. And just think- it'll be good for you, too. Konan-san is always saying you should be trying new things-"
"Fine." Itachi's shoulders slumped slightly, a difference so minute Kisame wouldn't have seen it if he hadn't been explicitly looking. "But I doubt the validity of this plan."
Sakura had just arrived at the training grounds when she realized that she didn't need to be there. Naruto- he'd left late last night with someone he'd described only as the 'Ero-Sennin', and Sasuke- well, Kakashi had taken him yesterday to go train him.
He hadn't given her any instructions, so Sakura had hoped that he might –just this once- have been responsible and caring enough to arrange for a temporary teacher for the month he was gone. A month of training was vital at her stage, or so all the books said. She could… stagnate…
She slumped helplessly.
Sakura already had, hadn't she? And Kakashi knew it, just like Sasuke, and Ino, and everybody else. She had only really graduated the Academy due to her high academic marks. And now that she was out, she just never stood out at all. Sure, she had the best chakra control of the three of them. But Sasuke-kun was Sasuke-kun and great at everything, and Naruto-baka – he'd been surprisingly strong. They were both surpassing her. Had already surpassed her, and she was left behind in the dust and her teacher didn't notice or care enough to even make sure she was being taught for a whole month.
Why was she so dead set on being a ninja, again? It hadn't originally been about Sasuke- she'd started the Academy before she'd met him. She'd definitely stayed for him, but Sakura thought that maybe she'd started for another reason.
'Because we didn't want to be average forever.' Her mind supplied.
And now here she was. If she hadn't been put on a team with the boys, she'd have been put in the Genin Corps for life. Sakura was honestly surprised that wasn't where she'd ended up. Maybe they'd thought she could do better and were unpleasantly surprised.
Or maybe she was just filling out the third slot on a team that had been meant for greatness. Sakura was just always going to be the third member that no one remembered or cared about. Maybe she'd die young and tragically, so that her teammates would be motivated by her loss to grow ever-stronger.
'That would be a stupid reason to die.' She kicked at an imaginary rock and scowled.
"You!" A deep voice ground out from behind her. "Shrimp!"
They probably weren't talking to her. But then again, this area was deserted. Who else would be out here to yell at-
"Crap, what's your name... Sakura! Itty Bitty!"
Sakura's last nerve came apart like a knit sweater, and she felt the heat rise up from her stomach into her mouth.
"Who the HELL do you think you are-" She roared, before coming face-to-stomach with a gigantic man. With blue-tinted skin.
This stopped her abruptly. Her brain couldn't possibly find an appropriate response for the situation in which she found herself.
A big hand lifted her up by the collar of her shirt, and Sakura narrowed her eyes reflexively.
"You better hope that fabric doesn't stretch." The threat fell out of her mouth before she could stop it.
The shark man grinned, and she was momentarily transfixed by the glint of sharpened (bright white) teeth.
Sakura was reminded horribly of Zabuza- the first person who had made her think she was about to die. He'd had teeth like that. It would be so easy for those teeth to tear her to pieces.
Something in her gut rebelled. No. She wouldn't lay down and die. Sakura bared her teeth in return without thinking about what her bravado implied.
"Oh, you're perfect." He breathed, looking at her like she was a particularly appetizing meal.
And all her bravado slipped away. Wasn't she just thinking something about dying tragically young? She was going to be eaten by a shark person and no one was even going to know until her teammates and teacher came back in a month.
"Oohhkayy…" Sakura went limp in a primal response to a larger predator. Her mind tried to supply why in hell her body would behave like this, but her limbs felt made of lead.
He set her down gently. "I'm sorry, Itty Bitty, I didn't mean to scare you."
'That might be true. He probably didn't file his teeth to intimidate me personally.'
Her limbs regained feeling slowly, and the hand on the back of her neck didn't move. Sakura stared dumbly into his chest, barely registering that he was wearing a really hideous housecoat with red (were those sheep or clouds?) patterns on them.
She puzzled the surreal nature of her problems for a moment.
He leaned down and made eye contact. This time, she didn't move and just stared right back.
"I'm going to teach you to be a great shinobi, kid." The man grinned happily, with another flash of teeth. Sakura suffocated the sudden urge to touch them. They couldn't really be as sharp as they looked. A genjutsu, maybe.
"We need to get your shit."
Maybe her idiot Sensei had really arranged a tutor for her after all? And she had to admit, this one looked like much less of a shuffling loser.
With that in mind, she found her nerve and grabbed the hand off her back with alarming strength.
"This way." She commanded imperiously. "What do I need to get?"
"Ah, everything." Her new teacher said unhelpfully. "All your shinobi clothes, kunai, camping shit…"
She nodded and drug her new sensei to her home. Her mother was in the kitchen, getting lunch ready.
"Ohayo, Kaa-san." Sakura let her sensei's hand go and left him standing in the kitchen. "This is my new Sensei for while Kakashi-Sensei is gone."
Her mother looked New Sensei up and down critically before giving a nod of approval. "You don't look like a lazy bum at all." She said gratefully. Then she flushed. "I'm sorry, my name is Haruno Mebuki. May I ask your name, shinobi-san?"
"Hoshigaki Kisame." He nodded briskly. "Student-san, shouldn't you be getting your things ready?"
"That's a nice name." Her mother smiled. "Would you mind waiting in the front room, Hoshigaki-san? Sakura can take some time when she's getting ready."
"…Sure."
Kisame wasn't sure how this was all going so well. Normally his looks at least invited some scrutiny, but his new student's –Sakura's- mother seemed to be as accepting of him in her home as gravity as a constant force. He wasn't one to argue, however. Kisame took off Samehada and placed her on the coffee table, before he sat down on a floral-printed couch and felt himself sink into the cushions.
'Nice.' He leaned back and settled in happily.
A comfortable half hour later, he heard the sounds of banging down the stairs. His new student was haphazardly slinging a backpack and a duffel bag with a combined mass larger than her down the stairs.
"Sakura?" Her mother called. "Hoshigaki-san? Lunch is ready."
'Oh. There is nothing about this I regret. Poor Itachi, sitting sadly in the forest without lunch.' Kisame grinned ferally and grabbed Samehada off the mahogany table.
"So, you'll be taking her for some time, then?" Sakura's mother placed a large bowl of miso in front of him.
"For a while, yeah." If she was terrible. If she was great, the likelihood she'd come back to this dump was minimal. But that wasn't his problem.
Mebuki-san worried her lower lip, and Kisame belatedly realized she was hoping for a bit more information than that. "I think Sakura-san shows a lot of promise." He said honestly, before drinking down half the bowl.
"If it wouldn't be too much trouble, would you maybe-" Mebuki-san awkwardly fiddled with the strings of her apron. "Just send me updates sometimes?" She finished with a nervous smile. "I just...I like knowing she's all right."
A reasonable request. "I will." Kisame assured her seriously. If he kept her around he'd send something every once in a while. If Sakura didn't show much promise, he'd have Itachi wipe her clean and drop her off at an orphanage with a pat on the head.
Mebuki-san smiled and set a plate of dumplings on the table.
Kisame snatched one immediately and inserted it directly into his face. When Mebuki-san's smile creaked a little wider, he couldn't help but note that Sakura shared her mother's perfectly even smile and dinner-plate sized eyes. It was mildly creepy, but the food was amazing.
Mebuki-san sent them out the door with a large bag of extra food. "Be safe!" She called, wiping her hands on her pants and waving haphazardly into the street.
'This might have been my best decision in a while', Kisame thought, only slightly bemused that he had been drafted to carry a teenager's luggage. That wasn't going to fly. He made a note to teach Sakura how to use storage seals. And more appropriate packing skills.
"Come on, Sakura. My partner is waiting." He nodded politely to the girl's mother, hefting the duffel bag he was holding a little higher and adjusting Samehada's weight on his back. "Grab my wrist." With the spare hand, he formed the seal to shunshin the two of them back to where Itachi was undoubtedly waiting with a sour look on his face.
Sakura barely had a chance to register that her new sensei's partner was a dark-haired young man before Kisame-sensei prodded her between her shoulderblades and forced her to run.
"We're on a schedule," he said gruffly, pushing her forwards. She nearly fell over before she convinced her feet to move. "Come on, itty bitty. Show me you're worth something."
She bristled, but didn't say anything while Kisame took the rear of the party. They burnt a red-hot trail out of Konoha. Sakura panted, lungs burning for air and feet aching after only half an hour of the pace that the stranger set.
'He wasn't joking. Do we have a mission or something?'
If she'd had oxygen to spare, she would have asked. They were probably just making up for the time that she had spent packing because awful Kakashi-sensei hadn't bothered to tell her to be ready. It couldn't be much longer.
But they didn't stop. Her eyes prickled, dry from the wind, and she blinked furiously. Jolts of pain shot up her feet and to her knees with every weary step. The thick coverage of unnaturally tall Hashirama trees faded into much smaller deciduous specimens. Clearings became more common. For long stretches of time, she could see off into the distance where dark smoke from Tanzoku Gai's industrial plants spilled up into the sky.
When the man in front of her halted, Sakura was too bleary-eyed and on auto pilot to stop her weary body. He smoothly sidestepped and stopped her with a hand to her shoulder. The hand was almost immediately retracted. She glanced up and caught a sharp jawline turning away dismissively.
If she had been less tired, she might have been self conscious about the fact that she was slick with sweat. As it was, Sakura collapsed to the ground like her strings had been cut, muscles shaking.
"Ha!" An enormous foot toed her in the side. Sakura managed to groan and bat at it, but that didn't make it go away. Kisame-sensei leaned down into her personal space, white teeth shining in the dimming light. "Don't tell me you're tired from running. If that's all that you can do, you're in for a rough ride."
Sakura had been a teacher's pet for the entire duration of her school career, and her exhaustion wasn't quite enough to suppress that Pavlovian reflex. She forced her shuddering body into a seated position and looked up. "I'll do better tomorrow," she promised.
She would because she had to. She wasn't going to get another chance.
Something about that must have pleased Kisame, because the kick he gave her shin was friendly. "You'd better. Go clean up, brat. You stink."
Sakura dug deep for the energy to bare her teeth and scowl at him. The effect was undermined by her wheezing.
Kisame-sensei tossed his head back and laughed. He hadn't even broken a sweat. His breathing was perfectly even.
'He's infuriating, but he at least wants to help. And he's in really good shape. He can make me a good kunoichi.'
So she struggled to her feet and looked around.
"There's no water." Kisame's voice sounded from behind her. He had flopped down and started setting up a campfire. "Hey, Itachi. You still have those facial wipes?"
"They are sanitary clothes for cleaning wounds," a smooth voice corrected with a hint of an edge. "I do not keep them out of concern for my complexion."
Kisame snorted. "Whatever you say." Cellophane rustled. A moment later, a small blue package hit directly in the center of Sakura's chest. She looked down at it dumbly, hands moving to catch it only belatedly.
There was a moment of quiet.
"That was just sad, girl. That was an easy throw."
She pressed her lips together and bent to scoop up the package. Curiosity fed by the adults' banter, she couldn't help but read the text. Minimize pores! Fight blackheads! Feel refreshed!
'These are definitely facial wipes.'
That didn't stop her from peeling the plastic open and enjoying the cold, citrusy burn over her face, neck, and arms. That was about all that she could clean around her rank, damp dress. It was so much better than nothing.
"We're not going to look," Kisame-sensei said dryly. "Pick out a change of clothes and go behind that tree."
Her face flushed, but he was right. She unzipped the bag next to him and grabbed the first thing she found. Sakura didn't register the appalled look on his face until she was halfway across the clearing with her spare dress in hand.
"Sakura," he called out, voice gruff. "Are all your clothes like that?"
"No." Affronted, she wrinkled her nose and pulled fabric over her head. "I wouldn't wear the same thing all the time. That'd be boring."
The silence that followed that was appalled. When she stumbled back to the now crackling fire with her sweaty hair piled up on her head, it was to the sight of her accumulated shinobi clothes strewn over the ground.
"Sensei?" she asked dubiously, furrowing her brow at the mess.
His mouth opened, then shut. He stared off into the sunset as if looking for divine aid.
"Do you have any other clothes suitable for a shinobi?" The same smooth voice from earlier inserted.
She swiveled over to the speaker, the man who must be Kisame's partner. "I. Ah." Her voice caught in her throat.
He was very, very good looking, with a kind of cool casualness that screamed he was well aware of his visual effect. Sakura shrunk back a little, ears hot.
'I think he's the most beautiful person I've ever seen.'
She wouldn't usually call a man beautiful. His features were delicate, but the most striking aspect of his appearance was his coloring. Sakura was a pale girl for a Fire Country native, but she was several shades darker than his perfectly even skin. Her eyelashes and conditioner-smoothed hair had nothing on his silky, blue-black hair—just a hint lighter than his eyes. No matter how she looked, she couldn't pick out where his iris bled into his pupils.
'I could stare into his eyes all day.'
That was, of course, when she realized that she had been staring. Sakura hastily averted her eyes.
'What did he ask me?'
"Your clothes?"
Had she said that aloud? The cold bite to his words made her worry that she had.
She glanced up at him against her will and wished she hadn't. He was gorgeous, yes, but utterly untouchable, features coldly unamused. Despite his comparatively petite frame, the ramrod-straight angle of his posture made it feel as though he was looming over her. "Ah, no." She admitted, looking down at her feet. "My sensei never said there was anything wrong with what I'm wearing now."
"Your sensei is an unmitigated moron." Kisame-sensei said gruffly. "We'll have to get you new clothes."
Wait. What was going to happen to the clothes she had now?
Kisame-sensei used a stick to pick up a yellow cowl-necked shirt and toss it onto the crackling fire. She winced bodily as the fabric went up in a fabulous whoosh.
She had to lean in to understand his growling. "I don't know what he was thinking. Your hair already screams 'hit me', maybe he was trying to convince the enemy to aim there? Hell, you even gave them a helpful target." He gestured violently to the Haruno clan symbol on her shirts and tossed another one of them on the fire, still using his stick. A fresh wave of the awful stench of burning fibers assaulted her nose.
She felt hopeless. Was that really what Kakashi-Sensei had been doing? It wasn't like he'd ever sat down with any of them about their clothes that she knew of. Naruto-baka still wore that hideous orange tracksuit. She looked reasonable in comparison, she was sure.
So maybe Kakashi-sensei really was just a total idiot. Was she surprised? Or maybe he was waiting for them to figure it out on their own.
Either way, it was apparent that those clothes had to go.
"But it's not like you don't stand out a bit." She offered weakly. "Do I need to dye my hair, too?"
Kisame-Sensei huffed. "No, you don't need to dye your damn hair. We just need to get you clothes that aren't perilously stupid. Why did you think a dress was appropriate for work?"
Sakura glared hatefully at him. She desperately did not want to answer that question, because the answer was that she didn't. She wore it in a vain effort to make Sasuke look at her. She already knew it was stupid and impractical, which is why she had to wear shorts underneath. And if she got caught in combat, she had to slit up the sides a bit more.
"If this is about a boy, I don't want to hear it." Kisame-Sensei said after a long silence. "I'm taking your silence as agreement that you know the damn thing has to go. Itachi?"
The beautiful man nodded quietly before opening his own gear and pressing a pair of pants and a mesh top into her hands. He was close enough to her that she could see the color of his eyes.
'They look a lot like Sasuke-kun's.' Her mind whirred. Now that she was thinking about it, the resemblance was uncanny. Same chin, same eyes...
But unlike Sasuke-kun, he wasn't really there. His gaze gave her the impression that he was looking at something in the distance that she wouldn't be able to see.
And bizarrely, something flip-flopped in her stomach.
'What is wrong with my crushes? The more unapproachable, the better?'
"If you wrap the pants around your ankles, these should work reasonably well for you until we find you something more suitable." Itachi-san said, voice far too steady to be entirely natural as he pointedly avoided mentioning that her wardrobe modifications would have to include wrapping her chest so that the mesh wasn't indecent. Her face pinked.
'I have a cute boy's clothes. Sasuke-kun would never lend me his things.'
Sakura watched her toes and stumbled a bit further into a copse of trees to change yet again, silently acknowledging that she was probably never going to return these clothes.
Not without a fight, anyway.
When she got back, Itachi-san was picking away at her mother's prepared food. Kisame- sensei was going through her clothes and throwing pieces he apparently found particularly offensive into their campfire. A bright purple top Ino had bought her made the flames crackle and turn a sickly greenish color for a moment.
'I never liked that shirt anyway,' Sakura told herself.
"So, Itty Bitty?"
Sakura quickly picked her way to her sensei's side and stood expectantly. She was going to make him like her. She was going to do so damn well that Kakashi-sensei was going to regret abandoning her and looking her over all this time, and she was going to shove Sasuke-kun's nose in it. Preferably after Itachi-san made a public declaration of his undying love for her.
That was about when she actually took a good look at the hitai-ites that her two new best friends were wearing. Blood rushed out of her face like it'd been poured from a pitcher.
Shit.
She would never, ever admit that her initial thought was, 'Kakashi-sensei sent a missing nin to teach me? What was that man thinking?!' A moment later reality asserted itself. Kakashi-sensei hadn't done that. He wouldn't do that. He just… hadn't arranged for a teacher at all. He really hadn't cared.
The most awful thing was that she was so tempted to pretend she hadn't noticed and leave with the only adults who had expressed interest in her career. And how bad could they possibly be? Sensei had checked out with her mom. Her mom was a great judge of character.
Sakura shook her head and tangled her hands in her hair, unaware that her moral dilemma was hilariously transparent to the Akatsuki present. They exchanged a slow glance across the fire.
'This is insane. They're missing nin. I can't go with them. The handbook says so.'
Sakura didn't entirely realize she had frozen like a rabbit. Itachi wasn't capable of making a sympathetic face, but he did manage to look off into the middle distance and impassively remark, "Were this apprenticeship to fall through, Konoha would not disbelieve that you had been taken unwillingly."
Her pink eyebrows shot up, both at the inherent deviousness of that plan and his willingness to let people think the worst of him to make someone else's life easier. What a good guy.
Kisame-shishou tossed his head back and laughed, the motion eerily familiar. It took a moment to realize that Ino moved the exact same way to toss her hair flirtatiously.
(Kisame-shishou did a much better job looking natural when Ino usually just looked constipated).
"Ne, Itachi. The real question would be coming up with a story for how she escaped back to Konoha."
Itachi-san did not blink. "I left her with you unsupervised for twenty minutes."
Oddly, the banter made her relax. It had been stupid of her to think that Kakashi-sensei had sent anyone for her, she realized in retrospect. But she'd been so eager to believe that she'd entirely glossed over the fact that her supposed stand-in was a massive shark man with a crossed-out Mist hitai-ite. And judging from the gigantic-ass sword on his back, he was no one to sniff at. That he had seen something in her to take her on as a student…
It made her feel warm inside.
Part of her wanted to run away screaming for help. That was Old Sakura, though. The Sakura that didn't do anything risky, the Sakura that would still be sitting at that damn bridge without a thing to do with herself. No training, no sensei, no hope of succeeding. Not even a good chance of living. To live a long life as a ninja you had to either stay a genin in the village or become incredibly strong.
She hadn't even had a chance at the first one. It was a shame it took her so long to realize that. The kind of trouble Sharingan no Kakashi, the last Uchiha, and Naruto-baka got into was always going to be way above her level.
It was just surprising Orochimaru hadn't killed her in the Forest of Death (he needed someone to make sure Sasuke didn't die while unconscious, her subconscious supplied hatefully). Or that Haku or Zabuza hadn't offed her (too weak to even present a challenge, not interesting enough to bother with either). But how long was that luck really going to last? She had needed to get stronger.
And they hadn't cared enough to even try to train her. She was a supplement. The weak little girl on the team. No one expected anything of her but to cry and hide. Was that what they wanted?
Sakura knew full well that she hadn't been as committed to training as she should have been. She'd trained her mind but neglected the physical parts because they were hard, and she wasn't good at them, and she didn't like not being good at things. Especially where Sasuke could see.
And she'd wasted a lot of her time on him. She'd known that before, had danced around that truth like her life depended on it. But when it came down to it she was a non-entity to him, just like she was to Kakashi and everybody else. She knew she was young, that the hormones in her body made her susceptible to devastating infatuations. But she hadn't wanted to think that was what she had for Sasuke (the nature of infatuation, her mind cruelly mused) and he had never seen her as more than a thing. A fluffy, useless, air headed girl that didn't know the sharp end of a kunai.
And he hadn't been entirely wrong. That fact burned.
He hadn't been entirely right, either. And she'd make him see. She would get stronger than him. And once she was past him (past Konoha, those bastards) she would make him watch her walk away.
That went for Naruto, too. He'd liked her, but he hadn't liked her. He didn't know her personality from a goddamn hole in the ground. It was about her hair (exoticized her) and the fact that she had what he considered attractive looks. He wasn't any better than Sasuke, really. He thought she was a breakable little doll. Naruto was the only one who would give her the time of day, and he was too afraid of hurting her to spar with her.
She'd get better than him, too. It would be hard, but it was a goal. And then she'd be too strong for Konoha to bother, and maybe they wouldn't throw little lives like hers away (how many times have they done this to someone, she wondered, how many little dead leaves in the forest).
She doubted she'd really prove anything to the world. The world was too big and uncaring. The only person that had to like or respect Sakura was Sakura. So she needed to make herself someone worthy of that respect. And this Mist missing nin (like Zabuza, maybe stronger, could give Kakashi a run for his money) wanted to give her that chance. She was going to grab onto it with both hands and never let go.
"So, how do you like swords and sharks?" Kisame-Sensei asked genially.
"I like them quite a bit." Sakura admitted easily, shoving her hands into the pockets of Itachi-san's too large (but surprisingly comfortable) pants. "I used to have a stuffed shark when I was little. His name was Lots."
"Lots." Kisame-Sensei looked amused.
She clarified. "For Lots of Teeth."
"Oh, Itty Bitty, we're going to have a great time together." Kisame grinned, and she grinned back. Maybe there was a reason people went missing-nin after all.
I don't really have anything to say here, but I did want to give credit for 'Lots of Teeth'. It was in a HP fic I read a long time ago about Petunia raising Harry (and it was excellent), but I can't remember the name. I just didn't want to leave that out if at all possible, because it's the cutest thing I've ever read.
I still would like a beta, if anyone's interested. Mostly to review ideas, because I already have an in-house editor. Even though she's sick right now (she got me sick too, boo).