A/N:
Yo, sorry for not updating. I told you guys it would be random. Earlier, my account had been hacked, so I had to repost the story, so sorry to all of those that need to re-fave/re-follow. I was busy, school sucks. I just now got a free weekend... So yah... R&R and Fave&Follow. I'm out.
"Bijuu talking or chain mode"
Jutsu
"speaking"
'Thoughts
Chapter 2: Hell no
He ran.
That was all Naruto Uzumaki did, he ran from the mob that called for his blood.
He turned the corner and found himself in an alley, covered with blood. Haunting red eyes with black tomoe peered into Naruto's soul, and suddenly a chain flew out of the darker parts of the infinite alley, dragging him in.
Naruto closed his eyes.
Then he snapped them open as he heard a dark, sinister laugh. Red, slitted eyes peered at him, with a feral grin underneath.
The creature opened its jaw and lunged towards Naruto, the creature's mouth, dripping with saliva and all of its feral glory.
Naruto woke up with sweat covering every inch of his 9 year old body. He flew out of his bed gasping, unable to breathe. Naruto's tanned face hit the table.
"Itai!" Naruto wailed grabbing his now red nose "Damn table, when I'm Hokage, I'll banish all the tables in the world!" He looked down in front of him, near the table.
"AHHHHH!" He screamed. Something leaped up and took a defensive stance.
"Sorry Hinata, I forgot you were there..." Naruto said rubbing the back of his head, sheepishly.
"A-a-ah, Naruto-kun, gomen, it's my fault for sleeping so close to your bed." Hinata said while blushing.
"Good job Hinata! You're almost over your stutter!" Naruto whooped.
Hinata blushed a deeper shade of red. "A-a-arigatou Naruto-kun. Where were you last night?"
Naruto's brows knit together as the boy concentrated hard. "I-i-i can't remember Hina-chan. One minute I was running and the next minute I woke up."
'Hina-chan, HINA-CHAN!?' Hinata thought, turning blood red and passing out.
"Hinata? Oi, HINATA! Not again! She'll be out for a long while! Oh well." Naruto said.
He pulled up a chair and sat next to her, looking at her sleeping face while thinking about how they met.
FLASHBACK
"Guys, come here!" A fat civilian kid yelled, "Look, I found a Hyuuga!"
A brunette and a thin civilian boy ran to them, and when they saw the Hyuuga heiress, they grinned.
"Aww look, it's a Hyuuga! I bet you're related to Neji! Well, are you, snotty Hyuuga? "
The brunette demanded.
"A-a-ano, h-h-h-hai." She said meekly. The boys began to laugh.
"She's so timid and weak! Let's beat her up!" the thin civilian kid said in a nasally voice.
The boys moved to Hinata menacingly and proceeded to beat her up. A bruised and battered Hinata fell unconscious on the ground. The boys then dragged her to a bush and hid her underneath. They began to skip home, merrily, saying something about putting the snotty Hyuuga in their place.
A figure slid out from behind a tree, near the bush that contained the beat up Hinata.
The figure picked her up, placing her on his back and the figure ran. They came to an apartment that was in mediocre condition, near the red light district. He unlocked one of the apartment doors and slid into a messy apartment.
He placed her down on his bed, and got water to wash away the blood that stained her porcelain face and purple jacket. He came back with a small bucket and a wet rag. He slowly took off the heiress's jacket and threw it aside. He then took his rag and began to dab at her face, and after an arduous hour, he successfully removed all blood from the jacket and he face. The man laid out a futon as the Hyuuga stirred, and he tucked her in. All Hinata saw before she blacked out again was a sliver of electric yellow hair and concerned blue eyes.
'Naruto-kun?' she though before she succumbed to sleep.
FLASHBACK END
'Hehe Hinata figured out who I was in the end. She's kinda cute sleeping. Hehe, a cute friend.' Naruto thought, peering down at her face, blushing.
As she stirred, Naruto jumped. He quickly placed the chair back near the table, and ran into the bathroom with his jumpsuit. He quickly brushed his teeth, and after 5 minutes of struggling, he put on his beloved orange jumpsuit. He quickly ran out of his room, wolfed down cereal with milk and ran out the door.
'Wait, why did I run?' Naruto thought, 'Force of habit? Welll, since I'm out, let's get RAAAAAMEN!'
Naruto bolted to Ichiraku Ramen after having his 'epiphany'.
"Uso…. Shingirarenai (I can't believe it)… THEY'RE CLOSED!' Naruto screamed, then a huge dark cloud encompassed him as he sank into depression.
"Aaah!" Naruto yelled, jumping up. "It's GENJUTSU! KAI KAI KAI KAI KAI KAI KAI KAI KAI KAI KAI!"
Then a crow flew by Naruto croaking "Aho, aho, aho, aho, aho, aho….."
"GAHHH, stupid crow! Come back here, I'll get you for calling me stupid!" the eccentric blonde yelled, completely forgetting that Ichiraku's was closed. He ran after the crow…
"Got you!" Naruto yelled as he jumped up, using a house as a springboard. Then the crow comically moved up and Naruto missed him. Naruto looked down, with a miserable look on his face and he fell into a dumpster.
"GAHHHHH!" Naruto yelled, for the umpteenth time. "I should go to Ichiraku, ramen will cheer me up."
"Uso…. Shingirarenai… THEY'RE CLOSED!" Naruto screamed, then a huge dark cloud encompassed him as he sank into depression, again. He slumped up against the closed shop and looked bored. Then his face lit up.
'Hehe. Hokage-jiji will never see this prank coming!' the nine year old blonde thought 'Best Plan EVER!'
At the Hokage tower, an old man was reading an orange book and then "A-A-A-A-A-CHOOOO!" the man got the chills.
'Does Mai-chan know?!' he thought, whimpering.
Mai-chan, the secretary, then burst into his office. "HOKAGE-SAMA!" the ticked off woman yelled, pummeling the kage and leaving a bloody mess. She then picked up the orange book and burned it.
"NOOOOOO!" the kage wailed, comically sobbing. He then got the chills again.
'YESS! BEST PRANK EVER!' Naruto thought. He looked at his masterpiece. Naruto had made fools out of the Hokages.
He had given the first fire shadow a clown red nose and a tongue that was sticking out of his mouth. The Second had emo scrawled across his face in red paint and a finger was drawn sticking up his nose. The third Hokage had a perverted grin drawn on his face, blush, and the word pervert stamped across his forehead. Lastly, the Fourth looked like an explosion of color. Naruto had literally taken a paint bomb filled with different colors, and splattered it all over the man's face.
"HAHAHA!" Naruto laughed. The boy began to run from the ANBU that chased him for his 'crimes'.
"You'll never catch me!" Naruto yelled.
"Mommy, look! It's the gingerbread man!" Middonaito Hitsugi, a civilian kid yelled. Everyone face faulted.
Naruto suddenly ran into a man in dark clothing and a mask.
"Itai…" Naruto grumbled "That hurt. Who are …" Naruto looked at the man's mask, immediately recognizing him.
"WEASEL!" He yelled, again. Naruto sprang up and hugged the man, to the shock of many.
"Naruto, do you realize what you've done?" Weasel asked. The ever so oblivious Naruto looked at him innocently and shook his head.
'Baka…..' the disguised Itachi thought. "Naruto, do you really expect me to fall for the innocent look each time?" He asked
"KUSOOOO!" Naruto screamed as Itachi grabbed him and shunshinned to Hokage's office.
The two arrived at the Hokage's office to giggling and small amounts of blood dripping down the Third's nose. Itachi cleared his throat, very loudly. The Hokage turned around and in a flash that rivaled the Yondiame Raikage's speed, he put away his smut, wiped his nose, and adopted a business pose.
"Weasel, I assume you brought Naruto?"
Itachi nodded.
"Naruto, why did you paint the Hokage monument?" The Sandiame asked, turing his professor-like gaze towards the young blonde. "You do realize that the Hokage are the most powerful people in the village, right?"
"Of course-ttebyo! But when I become Hokage, the rest of them are gonna look like clowns! So why not turn them into clowns now?!" Naruto brazenly shouted.
Both men sweatdropped at the blonde's statement.
"Naruto, still, you can't do these types of things. Wait, AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE AT THE ACADEMY!" Hiruzen yelled.
"Hehe. Aaaaabout that….." He said, trailing off.
"Weasel, take Naruto to the Academy, immediately." The Kage ordered.
"Hai, Hokage-sama." Itachi said, and shunshinned away with Naruto.
'Finally, relaxation!' the kage thought, whipping out his book. Then Mai walked in, with 3 carts of paperwork.
"NNAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRUUUUUUUUUUUTTTTTTTTTOOOOOOOOOOO!" was heard throughout the village.
On the other side of the village, outside the Academy, Weasel dropped Naruto on the ground.
"Itai, Weasel-nii!" The blonde exclaimed "Ya coulda just put me down-ttebayo!"
"Gomen Naruto." Itachi said, poking his forehead, "I'll remember that next time I have to bail you out."
"OI!" Naruto screamed as a laughing Itachi shunshinned away. "Grrrrr..." the blonde grumbled, walking into the Academy. He opened the door to his classroom revealing a fuming Iruka and a completely bored class.
"Shikamaru! PAY ATTENTION!" The teacher screamed.
"Troublesome sensei, you're sounding like my mother." Shikamaru grumbled, putting his head down again.
"SHIKAMARU NARA, PAY ATTENTION OR I WILL CALL YOUR MOTHER!" Iruka screamed, using his patented Big head no jutsu.
"Troublesome..." Shikamaru grumbled, lifting his head.
"So class, as we were. Chakra is... SHUT UP!" Iruka yelled, silencing the class. "Wait, where's Naruto?"
"He hasn't been here since the beginning of class Iruka-sensei, I think he's skipping!" Sakura said, using her banshee voice. "Wait, THERE HE IS!" She screamed, and the class turned towards the door, revealing Naruto.
"NARUTO! YOU'RE 2 HOURS LATE TO CLASS, HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN THAT HUH?! ANSWER ME NARUTO!" Iruka yelled, using hisBig head no jutsu and newly found banshee voice.
"Um... A black cat crossed my path? So I has to take the long way?" Naruto whimpered, and Iruka face faulted.
Over the river and through the Konoha, two people in green jumpsuits were spying on a scarecrow. Then the scarecrow sneezed, while the people in jumpsuits shivered.
"YES! SOMEONE HAS LEARNED THE WAY OF THE HIP!" The scarecrow yelled, while the ugly people in jumpsuits cried about UNYOUTHFULLNESS...
"GAI-SENSEI, I SWEAR THAT I WILL FIND THIS UNYOUTHFUL PERSON AND SHOW HIM THE WAYS OF YOUTH!" The smaller, big-browed person yelled.
"LEE, SHOW HIM YOUR YOUTHFUL WAYS!" The newly identified Gai screamed.
"GAI-SENSEI!"
"LEE!"
"GAI-SENSEI!"
"LEE!"
"GAI-SENSEI!"
A sunset, with crashing waves appeared behind as the two men hugged each other.
"YOSH! KAKASHI, MY ETERNAL RIVAL, I CHALLENGE YOU TO A BATTLE OF YOUTH!" Gai yelled at Kakashi.
"Eh, Gai, did you say something?" Kakashi asked
"CURSE YOU AND YOUR HIP WAYS KAKASHI!" Gai yelled, comically sobbing.
Naruto sneezed as he walked out of the classroom. Iruka had scolded the blonde and told him to go stand outside as punishment. Naruto had a bored look on his face, and the boy was frowning slightly.
'Gahhh! Why did Iruka-sensei have to yell at me AND kick me out? He's usually more forgiving, so why was he so grumpy today? It must because of that man sensei was having dinner with, the scary scarecrow. YAH! That man must've done something!" Naruto thought.
Across Konoha, in the middle of Kakashi and Gai's battle, Kakashi sneezed.
"YOSH! I'VE WON! I HELD MY BREATH LONGER THAN YOU MY ETERNAL RIVAL!" Gai said.
'Who was thinking about me? Probably Ruka-chan. Maa, does he want me back already? How do I tell him that I'm with Anko-chwan?' Kakashi thought, his mind wandering to his beautiful hebi-hime.
Naruto walked down the hallway, letting his mind come up with theories for why his sensei was so upset. Suddenly, a group of upperclassmen walked up to him and Naruto just so happened to bump into the biggest person.
"OI, stupid underclassmen, where do you think you're going with saying sorry, huh?" the biggest one demanded.
"Yah, were do you think you're going shrimp!" his lackeys echoed.
"SHUT UP SHIKAKU, KOMETSU!" the biggest one yelled
"Hai Debu-sama." The lackeys grumbled
"Say sorry!" Debu* yelled
"Gomen..." Naruto said
"With feeling!" the boy yelled
"Gomen." Naruto said.
"SAY GOMEN NA SAI UCHIHA-SAMA YOU LAZY UNDERCLASSMEN!" Debu screamed
"GOMEN NA SAI BAKA UCHIHA GESU YARO*!" Naruto screamed
"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME! The said Uchiha screamed "GET HIM!" The boy's lackeys pounced on Naruto, pinning him down and the boy punched Naruto several times. Once he was finished, the lackeys threw him to the ground and the Uchiha gave him one last punch and they walked away laughing.
"Kuso." Naruto whimpered, getting up. He had blood trailing down his mouth and pooling on his chin, along with blood freely flowing down his face from a wound on the side of his head.
"Why, why me?!" Naruto yelled, picking himself up and stumbling out of the Academy and onto the streets of Konoha. If the boy paid attention, like he normally did, he would've seen a man smirking and following him. The man stealthily pulled out a kunai and hid it in his sleeve, adorning a nasty smirk. He followed Naruto, flashing his kunai at all the civilians, making them smile
'Why's everyone smiling? Am I in trouble again?' the boy thought, as he rounded a corner, only to see a dead end.
"Kuso." Naruto grumbled, turning around. As he turned, his chest warmed a little.
'Ehh, what's wrong?' Naruto thought, looking down at his chest, only to see his jumpsuit slowly turn red. He looked up, terror evident in his eyes, and gazed into the hungry eyes of the man with the bloody kunai. The man pulled back his hand and stabbed Naruto right through the heart. He pulled out his kunai and watched as blood spurted out of the boy's heart. Blood pooled around Naruto and the boy fell back with a thud. His eyes dulled and slowly, all color left his body and Naruto Uzumaki took his last breath, finally dying.
The man smiled and there was an audible poof. In the creepy, old man's place was a man with a black cloak and and cat mask with a green line. The person shunshinned away, leaving Naruto's body to rot.
Once the man arrived at his destination, he kneeled and took of his mask.
"Fu, you have completed the mission I presume?" a man, that looked strangely like a mummy, asked.
"Hai, Danzou-sama!" Fu said, and gave the man his mission report.
"Hiruzen, you wouldn't give me what I wanted, so I gave the people what they wanted. I hope you enjoy not having a jinchuriki or a surrogate grandson, Sandaime."Danzou spat, smirking.
'Where am I? What is this place?' Naruto thought, wandering in a place that strangely looked like a sewer. 'What is this?'
"OH! So my jailer finally decides to visit me, huh?" A giant fox-like creature sneered. "Welcome to my humble abode, O powerful flesh bag."
"K-k-k-k-kyuubi." Naruto whimpered.
And then he fainted.
A/N: Hope you liked, HAPPY TURKEY DAY TO ALL! MY FINGERS HAVE FALLEN OFF!
Thank assault93, , and everyone else who reviewed for the longer chapter. Also, shout out to Naru-Shika-Forever, Ally-chan Ravenwood, Athletiger, and KitsuneDragon for being awesome and for the inspiration!
I'M SUUUUUPERRRR LAZY, SO THE NEXT CHAPPIES PROBABLY GONNA BE OUT AT THE END OF DECEMBER OR BEGINNING OF JANUARY, I think.
MC OUT! ENJOY YOUR TURKEY/TOFU/CHICKEN!
*Debu means fatty
*Gesu yaro means asshole