Orochimaru was terrifyingly intuitive.
It was how he had gathered so many willing followers, how he raised an army with nothing but his intellect and a headband with a line through it.
It was why children flocked to him, women giggled when he walked past him, men bowed their heads in deference.
Charisma was not a strong enough adjective for the effect, the strange pull he had on people.
Sasuke was not satisfied. Did not understand it.
When he had come here, he had the image in his head of a ruthless man that would make his life hell. It is what everyone had told him, what they had genuinely believed.
Amazing, how perspective could change depending on your side.
Still, Sasuke felt it wrong. Wrong that he felt a strange sort of contentment living in this hideout with the Sound Four, Kabuto and his sensei. Felt it wrong that he woke every morning feeling refreshed, his body in perfect condition from being healed by Kabuto after harsh training, his mind sharp from long hours of sleep.
Wrong that he was served delicious, well-cooked meals by the cooks that were specifically devised to give him the intake of vitamins, minerals and calories he required.
Wrong that Orochimaru was so patient.
Every morning, he had training with Orochimaru for a couple of hours before the man would leave to attend to other things, leaving Sasuke to work on the pointers and suggestions he had given. It was harsh, of course; instructive, but hard. That was what Sasuke wanted, what he needed, and Orochimaru could provide.
What he didn't or would not provide was the brutality Sasuke expected of him. Sure, by the end he would be beaten and bloody, but he would not have any broken bones wounds deep enough to scar. And he would be able to continue training even after Orochimaru left.
It was for this reason that he riled the man. He was sick of being treated well, sick of waiting for the Monster he had come to train under to show his true colours.
That was why he deliberately infiltrated one of the restricted rooms in the hideout, one of the rooms where Orochimaru or his scientists conducted the most heinous research and experimentation.
He broke in with relative ease and found this lab room to be full of men. Men hanging from chains against each wall, their bodies ragged and weak, covered only by plain brown shorts that were more tears and holes than actual fabric.
Some of them moaned at his arrival, in fear or to beg, he did not know. They were so broken. The part in Sasuke that still feared demons hiding under his bed reared its head and he felt the urge to be sick.
Yet he felt his muscles relax, because yes Orochimaru was still the Monster he remembered.
He just hid it well enough that sometimes Sasuke forgot it was there.
Then Sasuke slew them. It would have been too difficult to free them, but the idea of leaving them living their tortured, pathetic existences chilled him to the bone.
The Uchiha approached each man, one by one, whispered an apology, and slit their throats, until the room ran red, blood pooling on the ground.
He left after that, leaving their corpses hanging from the chains. Orochimaru was out on a mission, but he would see them by morning he was sure. He didn't bother to hide the traces he left; let the man show him his fury.
Orochimaru did not lunge at him upon sight; did not rage and roar and beat him to death like he half expected.
No, the morning started like usual. He ate breakfast with the others, watching Orochimaru closely even though Tayuya was cheering since Kidomaru had started a food fight with the twins (hardly a rare occurrence). Jirobo ignored everyone, and Kabuto who was next to Orochimaru was prattling to him about the results of some experiment or other above the hollering of the idiots in the room.
Sasuke thought that perhaps the man hadn't seen the bodies yet, since, between making affirmative noises at Kabuto, ever so casually asked Sasuke to pass the salt.
Which he did in stoic silence. He remained stonily silent as he watched the man smile faintly and praise the medic. But then there was a knowing smile directed his way, though Sasuke did not know what to make of it. It seemed as if he did know, then.
"Let's start then shall we, Sasuke-kun?" Orochimaru asked once they were both finished, and Sasuke followed the man out to the training grounds silently.
The two faced each other as usual. Normally they started with ninjutsu practice, but it looked like Orochimaru wanted to spar first. No surprise. Maybe now the man would not hold back.
He was right, Orochimaru didn't bother holding back. Even if he did not have to try particularly hard.
Yet Orochimaru did not lose his patience, did not abuse him and yell at him like he was supposed to.
Orochimaru started the spar with a smile, that same amused, patient smile that seemed infallible. It galled Sasuke, though he did not show it. Why was the man not angry.
And then he moved, and suddenly Sasuke was flying across the clearing with his ribs kicked in.
He wanted this, needed this, needed to see exactly how far below Orochimaru he was so he could measure himself.
And he did, indeed, learn that he was far, far below him. He was beaten until his ribs were cracked and his legs were broken, and his lungs could barely take a breath despite how fiercely he tried to counter, to defend himself. In the end he was a mess of broken limbs and bloody skin.
It was agony. The sheer pain was like nothing he had ever felt before, and never would again.
It took only a few minutes for his sensei to reduce him to this wheezing, broken form. Clearly training was off for the day.
Then those black sandals that contrasted against pale toes approached his fallen form.
There was a chuckle as the pale Monster knelt beside his head, and he didn't even have the will or energy to tilt his head back so he could look him in the eye. All he could feel was sheer, throbbing, sickening pain and a lingering sense of sadness that he couldn't quite crush.
"Now my dear, next time you engage in such self-destructive behaviour I will not be so kind as to give you what you want."
It wasn't what he wanted, because the man had not been angry and destructive and everything a monster should be, but Sasuke had a feeling he already knew that.
(Orochimaru was always so good at giving people what they needed, not what they wanted.)
Sasuke wanted to scream at him, because why was he so bloody perceptive. Why couldn't he just be what Sasuke wanted him to be; a monstrous monster.
Sasuke didn't even know why it mattered to him so much, but it did.
And then there were fingers gently trailing through his hair, but they were gone just as quickly as they had come, and Sasuke could only watch the man's feet as they walked away, leaving his broken student in the clearing.
He wanted to cry then, too.
There were days that Orochimaru would suddenly appear during his afternoon studies and would order him to come with him to the Sound village when they changed into hideouts that were close enough.
The first time he had point blank refused, but then Orochimaru had simply smiled and told him;
"They have some very good tomatoes."
He had frozen for a moment, a war raging behind his blank features. In the end, the promise of tomatoes won out and he stood up with an arrogance he had perfected over the last few months of being with Orochimaru.
"I suppose I wouldn't mind some fresh air. These hideouts are disgustingly stale," he'd sneered his excuse, though the smile his sensei gave told him he'd seen right through him.
Still, the two visited the village though infuriatingly, Sasuke didn't know why he bothered to bring him along. He followed Orochimaru as the man browsed for kimono and wandered the streets, letting the citizens drink in the sight of him. It was, after all, good for his reputation as Otokage and he was generous with his compliments and kind with his actions, affirming their loyalty to him.
Sometimes, groups of children would follow them, thinking they were discreet as they hid in clusters behind buildings and stalls, watching them with eyes full of wonder and awe.
Some of the braver ones even approached or were dared to do so by their friends. Orochimaru never bothered to hide his amusement, because the kids never seemed to notice or care. Instead they would tug on his kimono and beam up at him, babble some nonsense until he had patted their head and rewarded their bravery with a little gift.
Sometimes it was candy, sometimes it was little trinkets. He seemed to have an endless supply hidden up his sleeve. And Sasuke watched his expression as he watched the children run off with far too much enthusiasm and excited cheer.
"Excitable little things," Orochimaru had said once after one such occurrence, a little girl disappearing behind a stall with a candy clutched victoriously in her hand and bright, innocent smile. Sasuke shoved his hands into his pockets as they continued walking and levelled a glare at the man, his specific glare he used when wanting a question answered.
"Ah Sasuke-kun don't look at me that way," Orochimaru chided as he stopped at a stall with tomatoes and paid for a particularly large, juicy looking one, the stall tender all but gaping at having the Otokage buy from his stall. Orochimaru thanked the man who looked like he was about to faint, and turned to Sasuke, smiling at him keenly.
He held out the tomato, his eyes never leaving his. Sasuke took it slowly, letting the suspicious scowl show on his face.
"Aren't children adorable?"
No. No, they weren't. Sasuke didn't understand the sentiment in the least, even less so when it was coming from the mouth of a Monster. But then, who in the world but Orochimaru understood Orochimaru's thoughts and feelings?
He knew he was missing something, felt like he was being laughed at, but for the moment he had a tomato in his hands and he didn't care enough to press. Orochimaru's smile widened and they continued on their way.
There was one time, after he had been dragged (willingly) to the village several times, that people started to recognise him, too. And suddenly it was not only Orochimaru that was on the receiving end of awed eyes and bowing figures.
In fact, the first time he was approached by a kid not much younger than himself, he had almost startled. The boy was probably eight or nine, and he sent Sasuke a shy smile. Orochimaru had stopped and turned, watching them with a smile that was far too smug for Sasuke's liking yet he did not understand why.
He glanced at his sensei, for a moment his indifferent air vanishing as he searched (panicked, though he would not admit it) for a solution to this strange conundrum he was facing. Orochimaru simply tilted his head and continued to watch him with growing amusement, offering no help whatsoever.
Thus, Sasuke was forced to turn back to the little boy. Thankfully, the boy spoke before his impulse to just walk off and ignore the stupid kid overcame him.
"You're Sasuke-sama right? The Sasuke, like the one that's gonna be Otokage-sama's next body, right?" the boy sounded far too excited for what he was mentioning.
Sasuke swallowed but nodded silently, hoping he didn't look as off-balance as he felt.
The kid pulled him down slightly to cover the almost non-existent height difference between them so the kid could whisper in his ear. Sasuke let him, considering he had no idea what else to do.
"Wow, you're so brave! And that's such an honour too, you must be really special!" the kid whispered like he was telling a mighty secret. "Maybe I will amazing enough be his next body after you!"
Please don't, Sasuke wanted to say, but he held his tongue. The ease in which Orochimaru charmed his way into people's hearts and manipulated the masses like it was second nature was truly astonishing, and sometimes it hurt to think about it.
It took a special kind of person to pull of such a feat so flawlessly.
But was the third Hokage any different, really?
(They said Orochimaru had been in line for Hokage, once. Sasuke conceded that likely his life would have been entirely different had it happened. Perhaps in a good way. A dangerous thought to have about a dangerous man.)
And then the boy pressed something into his hand and ran off to his parents that were waiting proudly, but not before bowing several times to Orochimaru and beaming like Christmas had come early.
Sasuke stared, shell-shocked, at the bracelet in his hands.
It was a simple thing, a thin rope with a pendant attached, a roughly hand carved bird. Its wings were spread as if it were ready to take off in flight.
Sasuke wondered if the boy had made it himself. It was far from a masterpiece, yet it still would have taken a lot of effort.
"It is nice to feel appreciated, is it not?" Orochimaru said over his shoulder. Sasuke hadn't noticed him approach.
His hand curled around it.
I don't deserve this.
And yet he couldn't bring himself to throw it away.
It had been on his mind for a long time, and finally he built up the courage to ask.
"You drugged me, the first night I arrived here."
It was not a question, but the man knew him enough to interpret it as one.
"Oh yes," he said casually as if the words meant nothing as they left his lips, not even looking up from the scroll he was studying.
There was a weighted silence.
"Why?" Sasuke asked finally, since the man wouldn't explain himself until he forced the question from his lips.
"Because, dear Sasuke-kun, you needed a good- dare I say it- cry."
Sasuke ground his teeth at the answer.
"Why would you care?" he snapped finally, yet the man still hadn't looked up from his scroll.
He shrugged lightly, but a smirk curved his lips.
"A child should grieve when faced with such difficult changes and decisions. It is only healthy, after all. Who am I to deny such a thing?"
"I am not a child that needs to be taken care of," his voice was a dangerous hiss.
"On the contrary, my dear. And since you are to be my next host, I wouldn't want your brain to be a mess."
Oddly, the words relaxed him a little. Orochimaru was still selfish, still a monster. He was only kind because it suited him.
And he left the room without another word.
"Why did you join Orochimaru?" Sasuke asked the Sound Four one day. They were doing a group training session today, while Kabuto and Orochimaru were tending to an experiment of some sort.
His question was met with silence.
"It was not willing," Kidomaru muttered finally.
It was strange, hearing that when he had seen that the Sound Four seemed content working for Orochimaru. It could be an act but… Sasuke found it unlikely.
"Yea, we didn't exactly jump up and down at the idea of getting a curse mark either," Tayuya scoffed. "That sick fuck Kabuto made a bunch of us kill each other until only four remained."
And again, it was a reminder that Sasuke was, indeed, in the presence of a Monster.
So why was it he kept needing these reassurances?
He woke up one morning not many days after, to find that Orochimaru had cancelled training.
He glared at his sensei and opened his mouth to demand why when suddenly the man was holding something out to him.
Sasuke blinked and took the box from him with confusion. It was small and black, with a simple purple bow tied around it. It looked suspiciously like a gift.
He glanced up at his sensei questioningly, but the man just smiled mysteriously and patted his head before Sasuke could react. Sasuke glowered in response.
"Relax today, Sasuke-kun. It is healthy to take a break sometimes."
And then he disappeared.
Sasuke retreated to his room, and with trepidation he opened the box, unsure what to expect.
Inside was a little strip of coloured metal. It was small and elegant; an ornament meant to be attached to a necklace.
(Or a bracelet.)
It was a girly thing in colour and shape. It took the form of a familiar pink petal. The petal of a cherry blossom.
He remembered seeing it on one of the days in the village, nestled behind the glass of a shop. He'd paused only momentarily, his gaze lingering on the jewellery that reminded him so sharply of a certain teammate.
He hadn't thought Orochimaru had noticed his slight pause, the tiniest hesitation in his step. It hadn't even crossed his mind that, even if he had noticed, the man would care.
Somehow, he always underestimated his sensei's perceptiveness.
Sasuke found himself reaching into his pocket and removing the bracelet that little boy had given him. He kept it on him, for some reason unable to bear the thought of leaving it off his person. Even though he had been gifted many things since by many different people following the encounter with the boy, this one he could not simply cast off.
He slipped the little petal onto the bracelet, so it dangled beside the little wooden bird.
He wanted to crush it. Wanted to storm out and find his sensei and beat him to a pulp for being everything he didn't want him to be, even if it was all an act. A candid manipulation of his emotions that Sasuke would not acknowledge was working, because he knew it was emotional manipulation and yet….
And yet the tears prickling his eyes were real, and the painful feeling in his chest was no illusion.
Why is he doing this, he wanted to know. Why isn't he just being a Monster.
Was giving him the petal a test of his will? To see if he would break under pressure and go running back to Konoha?
But he wouldn't, of course. It hardly seemed like an option anymore, if it ever was in the first place.
The idea of this nest his sensei had crafted, that he had been unwillingly been guided into and caught in like a helpless nestling. He missed his friends, of course, missed the simplicity of Konoha and its carefree ways.
But he was loathe to leave the security of the nest he was trapped in, the safety and progress, training and information it offered. The goal he had set on was well on the way to achieving.
He couldn't leave, not until he learnt to fly.
(He in turn loved and hated exactly what had been done to him.)
So this ended up being a bit... weird, but I kinda like it. It's more introspective than I normally write. I was going to refine it, but I decided to leave it in this sort of messy, disorganised state.
If I feel inspired I might add another chapter, comment if you have a cool idea for an interaction.
Please leave thoughts in the review section below! Thank you for reading (: