Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters, they all belong to JK Rowling etc. etc. etc. I wish I did own them but sadly I don't so I have to live everyday with my own little fantasies about owning them but in reality I don't. I really don't.

I also don't own the song or the movie. I'm just getting inspiration from it.

Enjoy!

I loved you once in silence

And misery was all I knew

Trying so to keep my love from showing

All the while not knowing

You loved me too

-Guinevere "Camelot"

I Loved You Once in Silence

I don't know why it took me so long to realize I was in love with you.

Maybe it was because I didn't immediately perceive what I felt for you as love.

Maybe it was because I was so occupied with other matters.

Maybe it was because of all the chaos and frenzy surrounding us during that time.

Yet, we still managed to continue our normal, or what we in the magical world consider normal, lives.

Ron and I had just started dating.

It didn't take long for people to accept our relationship.

It was obvious from the start that Ron and I would be together, they said.

I was such a fool to believe them.

I knew that Ron truly loved me. He was good to me. He did all he could to make me happy.

And I was happy for a time, relieved that the animosity Ron and I previously shared had finally died down. But somehow, I could feel that something was missing.

There was this gigantic void inside me that would never fill up.

I thought that if I just tried hard enough to love Ron the way he deserved to be loved, that horrible emptiness inside would disappear.

But it didn't. It just kept growing and it was killing me slowly and painfully.

I did all I could to keep it hidden from everyone; from Ron and from you especially.

It surprised me how easily you adjusted to this new relationship between me and Ron.

But then it's expected, right? I mean, you are our best friend. Why shouldn't you be the most supportive of Ron and mine's relationship?

So, I let things be and continued on with my life, not knowing how screwed up it was soon going to become…

Late one night in the silent empty common room, while I was working tirelessly on an essay for Ancient Runes by the fireplace, I felt a soft hand on my shoulder.

Looking up, I saw it was you. You were gazing at me with concern in your emerald green eyes.

"Hermione, it's late. Shouldn't you be in bed?"

"But, I have to—" I started to say.

"Even brilliant minds have to get a good night's sleep once in a while, you know." You say with a wry smile.

"But—"

"It can wait, Hermione. You look tired." By the tone in your voice, I knew I couldn't argue.

You pulled my chair back as I stood up and I smiled secretly.

Always a gentleman, I said to myself.

I looked at my watch and was stunned. It was a quarter past midnight.

"Goodness! I didn't realize it was this late! What are you doing up at this time anyway? Shouldn't you be asleep?" I asked as I gathered my things hurriedly and shoved them into my bag.

"I was but I…" your voice trailed off as you looked away and swallowed hard.

Looking at you closely, I could see dark lines beneath your eyes.

You were having those nightmares again.

"Don't worry about me, Hermione. I'll be alright." You say trying to reassure me.

"You know you can talk to me Harry. You can tell me anything."

I saw that flash of pain glint in your eyes, "I know."

Not knowing why, I reached for your hand just to let you know I was there for you.

Your grip was warm and comforting when you took it.

"Come on, Harry. As you said, it's late." I say in a whisper.

You nodded but you didn't move when I started to lead you away.

I looked at you curiously and watched the firelight dance in the reflection of your glasses.

Your emerald green eyes were gazing at me intently underneath the shade of your thick jet-black hair.

There was something about your stare that was turning my legs all jelly-like.

Why was I suddenly feeling this incredible desire to drown myself in your eyes and run my fingers through your rumpled hair?

My heart started to beat rapidly as you drew closer to me.

So close, your scent was so strong, it made me slightly lightheaded.

You slowly lifted my hand that was still in yours and let it rest on your shoulder.

I didn't pull away, instead I moved closer till my chest was pressed up against yours.

Your arm slowly made its way around my waist.

Without realizing it, my eyes were darting from your eyes to your lips and back again as your head started to tilt closer to mine.

What are you doing? Snap out of it! Harry is your best friend. Ron's best friend! He's YOUR BOYFRIEND'S best friend! A voice started screaming to me somewhere in my mind.

But it was abruptly silenced as your mouth came in contact with mine.

And I knew then what heaven tasted like.

The kiss started slow and sweet, as we savored that first intimate connection.

But then, surrendering myself to you, I opened my mouth and was lost to you completely.

That was when the intensity of the kiss shot up as the soft tenderness was immediately overcome with fiery passion and hunger.

Our hands seemed to be everywhere. Mine were entangled in your hair while yours ran down my back, pushing me closer to you as our kiss grew even deeper and more passionate.

It seemed as if it would go on forever. I didn't want it to end but then the need for oxygen forced me to pull away abruptly.

We were both breathing in quick ragged breaths. My lips were swollen from the kiss and your glasses were slightly askew.

"Harry... I—" I started to say.

"I'm in love with you, Hermione."

It was so soft and so low, I almost didn't hear it. But I didn't miss those words.

My mind was whirling from the kiss and from what you had just said.

I felt my knees start to give way and I stepped back as I reached for the nearest chair, holding unto it for support.

I closed my eyes.

This must be a dream… it HAS to be a dream… a weird erotic dream…

But when I opened them, I saw you still standing there as real as the rapid beats of my heart.

Tears started fill my eyes and after I took a deep breath, they started to trickle down my cheek.

"Oh, Harry, I—"

"'Ey, Wotcha' both still doin' down here?" came a sleepy voice from the stairs.

We both turned to find Ron in his pajamas. A robe loosely tied around him as he walked down the stairs rubbing his eyes and stifling a yawn.

It was just too much for me to bear. To face him after what we just did.

The irony of his arrival after what had just occurred slapped me hard in the face.

You were looking down at your feet and said nothing but I knew you felt just as guilty as I did.

Burying my face in my hands, I ran past Ron sobbing uncontrollably and just before I closed the door behind me, I heard Ron ask furiously,

"What in the bloody hell is going on?"

I ran and collapsed in my bed.

Muffling my cries into the pillow since I didn't want the girls in the room to wake up and start asking questions.

Questions I did not have the heart or the strength to answer.

How could I have been so weak and so stupid?

Why didn't I push you away? Why didn't I refuse you?

Then, it hit me.

I, too, was madly, insanely and desperately in love with you.

I was just too stupid and too stubborn to see it.

But at the cost of hurting and losing the one person who meant so much to the both of us, did we even have the right to do what we had just done?

Ron…

What would he say if he ever found out?

I cried harder than I ever cried before.

The memory of that night still remains as vivid to me as though it had just happened even after so many years have passed.

That night was the first of my many lonely miserable nights when I started crying myself to sleep.