Disclaimer: I do not Own 'Ouran High School Host Club'.
Pride
Tamaki was beaming at his reflection after another, so-called, 'Hard' day at the Host Club. He really didn't know why Haruhi, the twins, or even Kyoya complained sometimes. It was probably because they were just so jealous that they couldn't look as good as him.
The thought brought tears to his eyes, and he immediately ran to his phone, picking it up and quickly calling Haruhi. "Hullo?" "Haruhi! Daddy is so sorry you can't look as handsome as me!" "Senpai? What the hell are you talking about?" "Oh, it's all right Haruhi! Daddy still thinks you're pretty!" "Senpai, It's," Haruhi peeked at the nearest clock, "12:00 A.M. Now get off the fucking phone and let me rest in peace, you ass."
Tamaki reverted to his corner of woe after Haruhi hung up on him. What was even worse, he had hear giggling in the background, which would mean Haruhi wasn't really sleeping. "Haruhi gets really mean sometimes..." He whimpered. So, he resorted to calling Kyoya.
"What. The. Hell. Do. You. Want?" Kyoya seethed, knowing by collar ID it was Tamaki. "Kyoooooooyaaaa~ Why did it take so long for you to pick up? I called you ten times!" "I know, you idiot." Kyoya almost yelled, but decided not to for fear of making Tamaki cry. That would just keep him up longer. Tamaki started to cry anyway.
"Mommy, are you mad at me? I know I haven't been able to make love to you for a while, but-" The phone was suddenly cut off. "... K-Kyoya?" He pouted before he put his phone down.
"..." Tamaki sighed, glancing at himself on the mirror. "I look sooooo great... Why has been Kyoya refusing me lately?" We all now it by now, but Tamaki is a pervert. He needs 'love'[[A.K.A, sex.]] to continue on in his life.
He wasn't straight, so he couldn't go to Haruhi... Besides, she would just hit him if he did. Hani-Senpai was too sweet, and he couldn't think of doing that to him. Mori-Senpai was obviously in love with his cousin, so he wouldn't go to Mori either. Kyoya was being a cock-block to his own lover, so he was out as well. That left the twins.
Tamaki snorted. "Noooo~ Those evil doppelgangers could never suit up to the likes of Moi. It's rather saddening." And then he remembered something; The twins had taken Haruhi home one night, and after that, she acted differently. She ate more than usual, and she actually acquired a habit of drinking and going out to party with the twins.
Quickly dialing the number to the two boys, They picked it up with a cheerful, "1*H-Hi! These be-eth H-HIC-Aru und K-Koaru!" They giggled. "You devils! Have you been drinking again? It better not be with Haruhi!" The twins laughed harder. "We be-eth surry, T-Tono!" Kaoru laughed out, though Tamaki couldn't really tell which one it was.
"H-Har, let mah see zee fone..." Someone said, grabbing the receiver. "Huwwo?" The girl giggled. Tamaki was dumb-struck. "Haruhi? You were completely sober the last time I called you!" Haruhi peeked at the clock again. "2*Wh-Which -HIC- was hulf un our agoes."
Tamaki's mouth dropped even further. Had he been looking at himself that long? "Well, I'm coming over there! Right now!" Haruhi laughed really hard at this. "3*H-Hikaru! Koawu! G-Gus wut heh shaid?" "W-Wut?" Tamaki heard them giggling. "4*Heh shaid, 'I'm cumming uver thar! Right Nuw!'"
Tamaki blushed, realizing how pervy Haruhi seemed to get when drunk. "Be there in ten minutes." Then he hung up on them. The last thing he heard was, "H-Hikawu! Wah cun't leave Kaowu out!" And Hikaru and Kaoru laughing. "Y-Yew Said 'Cunt'! Blahahahaha!"
~~~Fifteen Minutes Later~~~
"D-Damn! This is sum gewd shizz!" Tamaki exclaimed. The Next day, He didn't know how it happened. All he recalled was Hikaru offering him a huge glass of 'Flavored Water' then blackness.
Hikaru, Kaoru, and Haruhi laughed. Then Kaoru frowned. "H-How long huv we bin here fuh?" Haruhi laughed, thinking dirty again. "Yew Sud 'Hard!" Tamaki punched her. "H-Haruhi, ya deerty perv!"
Hikaru jumped Tamaki. "KOREA OWNS YOUR BREASTS!" He shouted, feeling Tamaki up. Kaoru sighed. Well, it came out as more of a gurgle. "Wut huv I tuld ya about 'Hetalia'?" Kaoru demanded. Hikaru grinned. "THAT IT MAKES YOU HORNY WHEN I COSPLAY AS ALFRED." Kaoru bushed. "SH-SHUT UP! YOU'RE ALWAYS ASKING ME TO COSPLAY AS MATTHEW, AND DO DIRTY THINGS WITH YOU!"
It was amazing to Tamaki and Haruhi. When shouting, the twins sounded completely sober. "WELL, IT'S NOT LIKE YOU HAVEN'T ASKED ME TO DRESS UP AS ROXAS! JESUS." Hikaru said, a slight red tinge forming on his cheeks. "THAT'S BECAUSE YOU ASK ME TO DRESS UP AS SORA!" Hikaru punched his twin.
"IT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE CUTE LIKE THAT!" And they tackled each-other, rolling around. It didn't look like they were fighting though. Tamaki and Haruhi, being wasted, couldn't see them properly, but could here them pretty well. "Nheh... H-Hikaru..." "Kaoru! ..Ahn... D-Don't touch me there..."
Once or twice, Haruhi saw the twins either kissing or groping each-other. Or maybe that was just because she was looking at the twins too hard, imagining two pieces of bacon. She always got rather obsessed with food when drunk/high, even more so than normally. When she started ranting on about bacon, Tamaki was pretty sure that Haruhi had tried the 'Magical Mushrooms that will change your life forevaaaaaar' that the twins had offered to him the moment he had stepped through the door. He had, of course, declined, still being sober then.
Haruhi giggled, pointing at Tamaki's jeans. "Y-You have a chicken bone in your pants!" Tamaki gave her a 'WTF?' look. Even for the drunken Tamaki, that was pretty weird. Then he looked down.
'SHIT!' He thought, instantly covering his now-tight jeans. Haruhi giggled and somehow melding herself between the wrestling twins, joining in. That caused his pants to tighten even more.
"H-Hey! Ya cun cum join us, Tono!" Kaoru called. Haruhi laughed. She was pretty giggly. "D-Did yew jus' sai 'Cum'?" Tamaki shook his head earnestly, looking for a bathroom.
'I'm too awesome for them... They're just some evil little 'depressed' boys who can't grow up.' Tamaki thought, not regretting what he thought at the moment.
He then proceeded to jack off to the thought that he actually was out there, joining in on the little orgy. Oh, sweet irony.
Later that night, Tamaki had tried to drive home. Of course, the maids wouldn't let him. The spare room was in the process of renovation, so he had to sleep in the same room.. Hell, the same bed as the naked Haruhi/Hikaru/Kaoru. Separating himself from them, he had three thoughts;
1) Man, it's warm in here.
2) Jesus, Can't the tell that Moi doesn't wanna see their imperfection?
And 3) Haruhi was pretty hot for a girl.
Tamaki felt something in his heart before falling asleep. It was a painful tugging. He ignored it, blaming it all the liquor. Half-way through is slumber, he flashed Purple, the color of pride.
Tamaki woke up with a heavy heart... And a major hang-over.
1*- "Hi! This be Hikaru and Kaoru!"
2*- "Which was Half an hour ago."
3*- "Hikaru, Kaoru! Guess What he said?"
4*- "He Said, 'I'm Coming Over There! Right Now!'"
Well, there it is~ I'm sorry, I've been having writer's block... ::Sniff, Sniff::
So, we know for sure Tamaki is Pride and Haruhi Is Gluttony~ So what are the rest? THAT'S FOR YOU TO KNOW AND ME TO FIND OUT... Argh, Dammit! I keep screwing up my words...!
Whoever can guess the next five correctly get's a special prize~ And I mean all of them correctly.
/PunkOtakuForLife\
\dnuʞoʇɐʞnɟoɹlıɟǝ/