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I walk into class my head down and my eyes still a little puffy. It had been a few days since I realized what I had done. I had gotten past Ayla's questions with easy excuses and today I knew you could see my lack of sleep from the bags under my eyes, my disheveled hair, to my denim-jeans and a plain black top…...I kept my head down not wanting anyone to see my puffy eyes.
It had gotten worse as each day passed. Every day seemed to show me another reason I sucked at being Ladybug. It started off with me realizing how I caused people to get akumatized. The next night, when ever I closed my eyes I saw Chat fading from existence or him getting hit with Dark Cupid's arrow, and I was the reason for both. He had to save me, because I was too pathetic. His words from Dark Cupid's arrow still echoed in my head, 'You're nothing Ladybug, and nothing to me.' I knew he didn't mean it, but to me it should be true. I'm nothing special, or unique I'm just like Chloe. The night after I kept seeing all of the stone beings because I was too dense to purify the akuma the first time around.
I kept my eyes on the floor as I could see Ayla and Nino walk in together holding hands. He leaned over a kissed her cheek as she blushed and pushed him away with her forefinger as she chuckled to him. I keep my head facing the floor as I walked to my seat, but eyes still looked to the two of them as I took in how happy they were. I wasn't paying any attention and I ran right into Adrien's chest. I stumbled back falling before Adrien's hand shot out griping my arm in his hand.
"You ok?" I looked up and saw his beautiful green eyes boring into mine. I nodded, as he helped me to my feet.
"Thanks…" I looked back down and gave a small smile. I saw his smile fade and he turned his head ever so slightly so he could see my face.
"What's wrong Mari?" I looked up at him, shaking my head. There was no way I would be able to tell him (Or anyone for that matter) he wouldn't understand. I gave him a smile.
"Nothing, just tired…….I didn't get much sleep." 'Or any at all' I thought to myself as I watched him nod slowly.
"Ok….." He smiled and saw he was still holding my arm. He let go and took a step back and smiled at me. I could see the doubt in his eyes. He nodded and started to walk to his seat before he took two steps, he spun back around and looked me in the eyes. "If you need someone to talk to, you can talk to me." With that, he turned back to his seat and walked over to it sitting beside Nino.
I sighed and sat down in my seat as Ayla raised an eyebrow…...I shook my head. "Didn't get much sleep." She nodded believing me and I looked to the front of the classroom as the teacher walks in. I sat there getting lost in my own thought thinking back to what I had been thinking over the past few days, I was a sucky Ladybug, and I didn't deserve to be held up on a pedestal or so blindly trusted by everyone in Paris, I was a nobody. Ladybug was me, which made her a nobody too, not the other way around.
"I know right? Ladybug is so cool with how she took down Volpina and how she kicks butt." I'm suddenly pulled from my thoughts as I heard what Ayla said. I turn my head to her as she turns her phone to Nino and Adrien as they look at it enthusiastically. "She is totally awesome." Ayla and Adrien sighed at the same time. They looked down to the other and stared daggers at each other that practically said 'She's mine.'
They smiled at eachother and started laughing. "Did you get the fight with Volpina?" Nino raised his eyebrows as he asked.
"Ya, it was quite awesome. She was gonna give her miraculous up for…." She glanced at Adrien as he started to turn red. "You" She and Nino laughed as Adrien turned even more red.
"She would have for anyone. She is an amazing hero." Adrien started to get control of his blush. I looked back down to my feet and sighed quietly to myself.
"No, she is the reason Volpina became Volpina." I heard gasps escape the mouths of Adrien, Nino, and Ayla. I looked up as the stared at me wide eyed. I looked confused until I realized I had said it out loud, and not in my head. "Oh no" I whispered to myself.